(a)

Like a frightened bird, I escaped from the office. Pen & Fun & Pavilion www.biquge.info

I went back to my target.

Director Wang walked over, his eyes stared at me, and I could see that my heart was weak for a while.

I lowered my head, picked up my gun, and knelt on the palm mat.

Director Wang said: "Your director just called you in, what did you say?" ”

I said, "Let me put aside all my thoughts and minds, and practice aiming." ”

Wang said: "Thinking about distracting thoughts? ”

I nodded.

He looked at me for a moment and said, "Do as you instruct." ”

I said, "Yes." ”

Director Wang watched me lie down on the mat again, pull up the gun belt, and raise the gun to aim.

He stood beside me for a while, then paced away.

I saw him walking towards the guidance office.

Director Wang stayed inside for more than 10 minutes, and then, the door of the office opened, and Director Wang walked out first, and after another minute or two, you also walked out of it.

You patrol the field and give technical instructions as usual, you walk slowly from the other end of the field, stopping by each of your classmates to observe and correct their movements, you walk next to me, you stand there for a while, you don't say anything, you don't bend down again to check the stability of my barrel.

You stand next to me for a while, then move on to the next classmate.

I felt lost.

(b)

I walked slowly on the circular sports field with my school bag on my back.

I feel like I'm stepping on a thousand feet.

My heart feels like it's back to the time when we went to City C to play in the league.

That night, in the bathroom of your room, the mirror in my hand suddenly cracked and fell, and we looked at the big mirror in the bathroom together, and you said that the white-haired woman inside was gone, and you turned away sadly and said, she had just collapsed and died.

You go back to the bedroom, you sit on the bed, and for a moment you can't recover from the kind of grief that holds you.

I followed you to the bedroom and watched you sit there with a confused expression, pounded by the turbulent tide of your heart.

I don't know how to comfort you, and I don't know how I can help you.

I can only stand there at a loss and look at you, my heart overflowing with tenderness.

After a while, you break free from that mood swing.

You look at me and say, "I'm sorry for the trouble." ”

I shook my head and I said, "No." ”

You say, "It's all right now, I'll send you back, it's getting late, it's time for you to go to bed, and you'll have to hurry tomorrow." ”

I looked at you, and I said, "Guide, it doesn't matter to you, right?" ”

You smile a little reluctantly and say, "It's over, I'm all right, it's time for me to sleep." ”

I stood there, my eyes fixed on you.

Under my gaze, you turn your face.

You say, "Actually, I used to dream about this woman a lot, but in those previous dreams, she was still very young and not so gray-haired. ”

You say, "I dreamed that she was wearing different clothes, that she was with me, that we were engaged in different activities, sometimes talking while drinking tea, sometimes riding horses together, sometimes looking at beautiful scenery side by side, sometimes sitting next to a stream. She spoke to me. Her eyes were on me the whole time. ”

You say, "I have dreamed several times that she took something with a chain off her neck and put it around my neck. I could clearly feel the thing touching my skin, giving me a cold feeling, but when I reached for it, it was just a dream, and there was nothing on my neck. ”

You say, "Even though there is nothing on my neck, the cold feeling is still very clear, even when I am fully awake, I can feel it vividly." ”

You say, "When she looked at me, I felt very sad in my heart, like there was a whole mountain pressing on my heart, so sad that even breathing felt difficult. ”

I look at the look on your face and can't say anything.

I feel that the deep sadness you have just depicted weighs on my heart just as heavily at this moment.

It's as if you're immersed in that dream that often comes about.

Suddenly, you're awake again.

You abort the narrative.

You say, "I'm sorry I said so much. ”

I said, "I hope I can help you." ”

You say, "Okay, I'll send you back, and let the past pass." ”

We walked down the hallway in silence.

You dropped me off the door of the room and watched as I opened the door with the room key.

I push the door open and look back at you.

I said, "Guidance." Are you alright? ”

You smile, nod and say, "It's fine." Go to bed early. ”

I said, "You can rest early, too." ”

You say, "Well, good night." ”

I said, "Good night, guide." ”

You motioned for me to come in.

I pushed the door open and walked into the room, the door slamming shut on its own.

I leaned against the door, my heart full of concern for you.

I leaned against the door for a moment, then turned my head and leaned on the cat's eye to look out.

I saw you still standing motionless in the doorway with a confused expression.

My heart ached.

Just as I was about to open the door again, you turned away.

I saw you leave my door, turn around and disappear into the hallway.

You're gone.

(c)

No! I can't get you out of here.

I'll have to go back and make it clear to you.

I like you too! I don't want you to leave!

If you leave, Director Wang will definitely be very sad, and all the students will be very reluctant.

You belong here, and although it has not been long, you have become one with the life here, and you are intimately connected to each and every one of us, and if you leave, everything will be eclipsed, and everything will no longer be complete.

I can't ruin all this beauty because of myself.

I can't let you leave like this!

I have one more important thing to tell you!

I was standing on the playing field and could no longer move forward.

I stood there like I had been nailed.

The sunset darkens in the sky, the night rises from all directions, and the various facilities in the stadium gradually become blurred and shadowy.

I finally made up my mind, turned around and ran towards the shooting range again.

(iv)

Most of the lights in the hallways were turned off. The light is dim.

I groped my way down the dimly lit hallway to your office door. The door is closed. Bright lights shine through.

You're still in there and haven't left.

I hear you tidying up, you're taking out the contents of the bookshelves and drawers and putting them in a box on the table.

I stood there and listened. You're getting ready to leave. I don't know if you have talked to Director Wang. Maybe not. I think back to the look on the way Director Wang walked out of your office, you should have talked again about me, but you probably haven't told him that you are leaving to find another job, and Director Wang's expression seems calm as usual.

I took a deep breath and raised my hand to knock on the door.

The sound inside stopped.

"Who is it?" you ask. ”

I don't speak. I knocked on the door again.

The door opened.

You see me, obviously surprised.

You say, "Heart? Didn't you go back? ”

You say, "Have you never come home?" ”

You say, "Now that it's getting dark, where have you been these two hours?" Dinner? ”

I said, "Guide, I have to come back to you." ”

You ask, "Is there something going on?" ”

I said, "Yes." There's one thing I never intended to tell you. ”

You say, "What's the matter?" ”

I silently opened my bag, took out a piece of paper from it, and handed it to you.

You look at me, and then, move your gaze to the piece of paper.

Your gaze falls on the paper. A metal object with a chain is depicted on it. It's not very well drawn, but all the patterns are clear.

Your lips turn white when you brush the floor.

You look at it. You look at me.

We looked at each other.

The paper trembles in your hand. You can't hold it. You also can't stay standing.

You slump in your chair.

You cover your eyes.

You are blurry in front of me, more and more blurry.

Lines and rows of tears ran down my cheeks.

It turns out that it is impossible to laugh at such a moment. There are no words, only tears, which can be used to express themselves.

(5)

I don't know how long it has been. You let go of the hand covering your eyes.

I saw your tears for the first time. They run down your cheeks.

You say, "How do you know the pattern?" I've never said that to anyone. ”

I said, "It comes to me." ”

You say, "When did it surface?" ”

I said, "On the night the mirror shattered, you said your skin could feel it." Its pattern clearly emerged from my heart. ”

I said, "Then I saw it in that showroom in Xiyuan. It became rusty and placed in a glass display case. ”

I didn't say that in the middle of the river I saw it fall from the neck of the dying young knight.

Grief is like a great wall, insurmountably separating me from the language that can express that scene.

You say, "What is that thing?" ”

I said, "Amulet." It was a talisman. ”

You say, "I hung it up for you, right?" ”

You say, "I went around your high bun and hung it around your neck, right?" ”

I nodded, and I said, "Yes." ”

You say, "It's the same thing." ”

I said, "Yes." The same thing. ”

I look at your pale lips.

I said, "Guide, please stay." You don't go. ”

I said, "This time, please don't leave me." ”

I said, "I want to know the ins and outs of all this." ”

(f)

When I said, "This time, please don't leave me," I saw your whole body tremble slightly.

You are silent for a moment.

You say, "Okay." I'm not leaving. ”

You say, "I'll stay." ”

I look at you with tears in my eyes.

I said, "Tell me, this life of yours." ”

You nodded. You say, "Okay." Let's get acquainted again. ”

(g)

All encounters are actually reunions after a long absence. (To be continued.) )