(a)

I looked at the light in Liu Shen's eyes. I feel sad.

Originally, in this life, I had the opportunity to make his life better. However, I was too focused on my own pain. So, I wasn't able to do it. And now, it's too late.

Liu Shen said: "Qin'er." ”

I said, "Is King Han tired?" ”

He said, "It's very tiring." ”

I said, "Then, King Han should sleep a little longer." The concubines are guarding here, and when the King of Han wakes up after sleeping enough, he can still see the concubines waiting for the King of Han here. ”

Liu Shen shook his head.

He said, "Not good. You're older, so you don't have to work so hard. Let the crown prince, the crown princess and the young concubines in the palace take turns to guard, and it would be good. Go back and rest. ”

I said, "Guarding the King of Han, Qin'er will never feel hard." ”

Liu Shen said: "However, I will feel distressed. ”

Liu Shen said: "If I die, there will be many things in the palace and the country behind me, and I will be tired of your hard work." You have to rest well to have the energy to deal with it. If you're tired and sick, and I'm dead, I'll be unbearable. ”

I turned my head to wipe away my tears. I said, "Okay." The concubine will stay here, watch you fall asleep, and then leave. ”

Liu Shen nodded. But he didn't close his eyes and fall asleep. He looked at me with blazing eyes.

I said, "Is there anything else the King of Han has to tell Qin'er?" ”

Liu Shen said: "Qin'er, although we are both very old and our grandchildren are not young, it seems quite out of proportion for me to make such a request. But before I die, will you be as close to me as the crown prince was born, and kiss me again? ”

He said, "I will always remember that kiss from you. If I ever had a happy moment in my life, that moment was the pinnacle and the pinnacle. ”

I nodded tearfully and said, "Of course." ”

I said, "Absolutely." Any wish of the King of Han, Qin'er is willing to wholeheartedly let the King of Han be satisfied. ”

So, with tears in my eyes, I bent down and approached Liu Shen's face. We looked at each other at a very close distance. I pressed my lips to Liu Shen's, feeling his exhalation, the trembling and coldness of his lips.

In this life, Liu Shen, my husband, has kissed me countless times, but I kissed him only these two times. I'm so sorry for him! I'm so sorry for him!

In this way, I kissed my husband for the last time in my long life—the husband you took great pains to choose for me, the husband who loved me all my life and pampered me all my life without getting anything in return.

My tears rained down on his cold lips, on his thin face, on his increasingly heavy eyelids.

At the age of gray hair and full of children and grandchildren, we said goodbye to each other in an affectionate kiss, to this complicated and incomprehensible life, this life of mixed feelings.

Liu Shen gently stroked my hair again, full of love and gratitude, and said, "Qin'er, thank you for making my last moment so complete." I will always remember you. ”

I endured the sharp grief in my heart, I hugged him tightly, and I fell on top of him.

I burst into tears and said, "Qin'er is deeply grateful to King Han for his care and care for me all my life, thank you, my husband." I will always remember you, too. ”

(b)

In my tears and kisses, Liu Shen slept peacefully.

I sat next to him and watched as his eyes closed and he fell asleep with even breathing.

I sat there, watching him breathe and sleep, and I could not stand up and leave him, until the crown prince and his wife came and fell to the ground and whispered comfort, and repeatedly urged me to go away and rest.

I slowly stood up from Liu Shen's side, and with infinite guilt and thousands of reluctance, I turned around and left him. As I walked out of his bedroom, I couldn't help but look back at him as he slumbered again.

The crown prince came over again to comfort me and said, "The queen mother can rest assured, my father is in good condition, my son and daughter-in-law will wait for my father here, and everything will be safe." The queen mother is rested, and she will come back tomorrow to accompany her father. ”

I looked at the crown prince, he is now middle-aged, with a long beard, he looks a lot like Liu Shen when he was young, only his skin is more like me, and he looks slightly fairer than Liu Shen. Looking at my son, I felt like I had gone back in time for a moment, as if I had returned to the horse training farm in Yantang Pass. I remembered that I got out of the carriage under the escort of Fu Tianliang, and saw Liu Shenyushu standing in the middle of the racecourse in the wind from a distance, and remembered how he faced my carriage and knelt respectfully on the ground. My heart tightened again. I wiped my tears with a handkerchief.

I said to my son, "Okay. You are waiting carefully. If you have anything, you have to report it to me. ”

The crown prince said, "Yes, Queen Mother." The son and others sent their mother back to the palace. ”

In the inexplicable desolation and loneliness, I boarded the phoenix, passed through the gates of the palace, left Liu Shen's dormitory, and headed in the direction of Zhaoyang Palace.

Through the gauze curtain on the phoenix, I don't know if it's my illusion, I feel that the sky is a little red today, and it looks like it has been soaked in blood. My heart trembled.

I lowered my head, closed my eyes, and leaned back against the back of my seat.

The only thing that can be gratified is that I will not be allowed to say goodbye to Liu Shen to see me off into that dark world, and I will not let him stay alone in this world that is becoming more and more strange. That's fine, let me see him off. Let me give him the last warmth, the last affection, the last companionship and the last comfort.

I deeply know that whether it is you or Liu Shen, you are the dragon and phoenix among people who are rare in a century, and after you leave this world, I will never meet someone like you again. In this life, never.

(c)

The lights and candles in Zhaoyang Palace went out.

I lay on my bed with an indescribable physical and mental tiredness.

I spent my entire youth in this bed, and I had countless moments of affection with Liu Shen.

However, at that time, I didn't know how to cherish these good times, and my heart was always on you. I have never enjoyed the lingering affection with Liu Shen, at all times, I am nervous and guarded, every cell is closed, never really open. On the night when Liu Shen didn't come, I was able to relax and sleep peacefully. I have never felt lonely and lonely because of his absence, I have never longed for his appearance, and I have never been sad about his departure.

Now, however, I feel that the bed is exceptionally large and empty.

I know very well that Liu Shen will never get on this bed.

His arms would never wrap around me again, letting my head rest on his solid muscles.

I remembered that night when he suddenly came over and showed me the marriage book we had on file in Huaizhou Mansion. I remembered how he tore the marriage letter to shreds in front of me and threw it on the ground.

I couldn't sleep. The mind is full of scenes of living with Liu Shen for so many years.

Billions of chaotic thoughts flowed through my consciousness.

In the midst of this chaos and sorrow, my consciousness gradually sank into darkness.

The bottomless darkness of life. (To be continued.) )