(a)

The father hurriedly climbed the small building and walked into the flower hall, his face full of anxiety that he couldn't suppress.

In the flower hall, my uncle's concubines and the maids in my room were already crying and kneeling on the ground.

The father said anxiously: "Mr. Sun, how is the situation?" ”

"She's starting to have contractions. Now the labor pains are more intensive. Miscarriage is inevitable. ”

My father paused and said angrily to my uncle's concubines and the maids in my room: "You have so many people to take care of her, how could you let her fall?!" I didn't know all night?! What are they for? ”

The two concubines and maids fell to their knees in fear and bowed their heads in apology. Crying erupted.

You came over and persuaded each other: "Father, what matters now is her mother and son, let's put these aside and hold them accountable later." It is not auspicious to punish them at such times. ”

Then you said to the women, "Shut down, let us not cry." Qin'er's mother and son's lives are hanging by a thread, do you still want to disturb her by crying here and make her feel even more sad? ”

The women stopped crying.

You say, "You don't have to kneel here, you can do whatever you have to do, and serve the good lady, now more than anything else." ”

The maids bowed their heads and retreated.

The father asked Dr. Sun, "If the child is not protected, what about the adult?" Isn't it dangerous? ”

Dr. Sun said: "It's a bit tricky. Strangely, although her contractions were intensive, they were much weaker than those of the average miscarriage pregnant woman. If the fetus or placenta is not delivered smoothly, it is dangerous. Guogong, I may need to find a safe and experienced midwife to help me, and I need to have small hands. ”

The father immediately told the servant to go out and find such a midwife.

The father scolded bitterly: "This brute! It's simply not human! Qin'er is his sister, how can he be so vicious and kill her several times! ”

You look at your father. You persuaded, "This has come to this, father, you should take care of yourself and don't be too angry and anxious." ”

Father looks at you. He suddenly realized something. He immediately stabilized his emotions.

He said, "Jinglong, you're right. There is no hurry. Let's not be in a hurry. Qin'er's parents will definitely protect her in heaven. Don't be too anxious. ”

You said to Dr. Sun, "I'm here to accompany my father. Mr. Sun, please go in and take care of her. ”

The father said, "Exactly, please do your best to save Qin'er's life." ”

Dr. Sun said: "Sun must do his best. ”

Dr. Sun resigned, leaving the father and son to sit opposite each other in the flower hall with mixed feelings.

(b)

A maid came in again.

My father immediately stood up and asked, "What is the situation inside?" ”

The maid said, "The young lady is in a very bad pain, and the bleeding does not stop. ”

You ask, "What about the fetus?" ”

The maid said, "There is no movement at all." Dr. Sun said that the fetus may, may have been suffocated. ”

The father's voice trembled and said, "Suffocated? ”

The maid did not dare to answer again.

The father slumped in his chair.

You knelt down before your father.

Say, "Ask Father to take care of himself." Even if this child can't be saved, Qin'er is still young. We will have children again. We will love each other and carry on the family lineage for both families. Please don't be too upset, father. ”

Father looks at you and comes to his senses again.

He said, "Get up, son, and don't kneel." It was my father who was confused. Don't worry, my father will be fine, and Qin'er will be fine. ”

The maid timidly whispered in the back, "Miss is crying inside." ”

You look back at her.

She said: "The young lady said that she wanted to see the young man. ”

You look at your father.

The father paused for a second, then said, "Go ahead." I don't need anyone to accompany me here, if you have signed a marriage contract, you are equivalent to husband and wife, and there is no obstacle to entering. Hurry up and stay with her. ”

You say, "Father, why don't you go back and rest first, it doesn't take a moment to end." If anything, I'll send someone to tell my father. ”

The father sighed and said, "Okay. I can't help here, but it makes the servants more nervous, Mr. Sun more restrained, and makes you worry at both ends. In such a situation, Qin'er must not want to see my father, who is too incompetent, appear. Jinglong, don't worry about me, our Cui family, now she is still willing to see, maybe only you. Let's go and accompany her on my father's behalf. With your love, protect her. ”

You say, "Father, rest assured." The son must protect the good Qin'er on behalf of his father. The son went in first. ”

(c)

I opened my eyes and tears rolled down my cheeks, line by line. I listened to the blood gurgling out of my body. I felt that the sharp pain in my heart was billions of times stronger than the pain in my body. I said, "I want to see him." I want to see him. Where is he? ”

"Jean. I'm here. I'm there for you. "Your voice rings in your ears. You held my hand tightly.

You say, "Don't be nervous, don't be afraid. I'm all here, I'm going to be with you, I'm not going anywhere, I'm not leaving. ”

I'm looking at you. I burst into tears.

You say, "Do you feel pain?" ”

I said, "I know now that I'm doing something wrong!" I did it wrong! I don't want to lose this child. I'm sorry for him. Help me save him! I don't want him dead. Help me save him! ”

You say, "I know." Jean. I know. You've been struggling. It was an accident, and you didn't mean to hurt him. ”

I cried and said, "He's completely immobile anymore." Didn't move at all. ”

You say, "Qin'er, calm down." You're so upset, it's going to be even worse. ”

I was trapped by the pain that was tight in all directions. I was in so much pain that I couldn't speak, I was chills all over my body, and I couldn't breathe air into my lungs.

"How?" You ask Dr. Sun. Dr. Sun shook his head with sweat on his face. He tells you with his eyes that the fetus is dead.

You look at the blood that continues to soak beneath me. You say, "Qin'er, listen to me, the child can't be saved." If you keep bleeding like this, you can't deliver the baby, and you won't be able to stand it. Now, we can only let the fetus out so that you can be safe. ”

I was so dazed with pain that I couldn't say anything.

You say to Dr. Sun, "Give her the medicine to induce labor." ”

(iv)

I feel like you're holding me.

You say, "Qin'er, drink the medicine." It can help you end the pain quickly. ”

I drank a little, and I was almost fainting in pain again. I was drenched in sweat and strands of hair stuck to my forehead.

You say, "Qin'er, hold on." Drink all of these. ”

I heard myself crying.

I felt like I was about to float in blood.

You say, "Jean." You have been unable to deliver the baby yourself. Dr. Sun and the midwife must now help you to get the fetus and placenta out. You're bleeding too much. ”

Dr. Sun said, "It may be painful next, but please bear with me." ”

They pressed me hard, they pressed me and kept pressing, and something got inside me. The thing was churning inside me, and I felt like all my internal organs were being ripped out of my body.

I couldn't help but scream. I burst into tears. I feel like my soul is going to be squeezed into a thin slice by them.

I tried to push the pain away, but you held my hand tightly.

Tears welled up in your eyes. You say, "Qin'er, take hold of my hand, bear with me for a while, don't move, and it will be fine after a while." ”

You grab my hand and keep it close to your face. You kiss my hand.

I saw blood already running down the floor in front of my bed. I watched as it expanded and stretched across the ground.

I'm looking at you in a blurred sight in the pain of my liver and gall.

I said, "Forget me." It's like you never knew me. ”

Your tears flowed out at once. Your tears are warm and warm on the skin on the back of my hand.

You shed tears and said, "No, Qin'er, I know you, I can't forget you, you have to live for us." ”

I said, "Bury me with my parents and reunite our family." ”

You shake your head. You choked up. You're choked up and can't make a sound.

With tears in your eyes, you reach out and remove one of the amulets from your neck. This is the first time I have seen this amulet. You put this amulet around my neck.

You say, "Qin'er, this is the talisman that my mother left me." It hasn't left me since I was born. Mother poured all her love into it and sealed it all inside. It represents all the selfless love in the world, all the sincere and true love. It has a special spirituality. It's my heart. Jean, you put it on. From now on, you will help me wear it and don't take it off again. You'll be safe. ”

Say, "As long as you are in peace, I will be at peace." ”

Your tears are pouring down.

(5)

That's why your amulet ended up around my neck. This is also the reason why as soon as you heard that I had a miscarriage, you changed your determination not to see me again before you died, and rushed back from the former enemy thousands of miles away, and saw me for the last time. That's why you're standing in dust next to the swing chair in my garden and weeping. That's why I couldn't help but call your name when I was born.

We've been through those moments together.

After nine deaths. I finally got my wish.

But there was no joy in my heart. There is no sense of relief.

When I woke up, I lay on my pillow and cried. I couldn't help but cry.

(f)

"It's all gone."

"Will I ever have children?"

"Absolutely. None of that matters. The important thing is that you take it. We've got through it. ”

What a victory? Hold on, that's everything.

(g)

The miscarriage destroyed my body again.

I was bedridden again for a long time.

Our wedding was delayed.

As a result, we were one step away, stopped forever.

My father always thought that this miscarriage was a spontaneous abortion, and he didn't know it, and I also contributed to it.

I didn't want to deceive my father. It's just because of guilt, because I'm afraid of making my father sad again, that I can't say it frankly.

That's how I lost my first biological child.

I was 15 years old. Since then, I have said goodbye to my youth forever. I can no longer speak the same language as my peers.