(a)

After Liu Shenjian ascended the throne, the whole country changed their words and honored him as "Your Majesty".

At first, I also followed the rules and changed my name to him in this way with the people. However, the first time he heard me address him as "Your Majesty", he categorically stopped me.

He said, "Qin'er, don't change your words. You don't have to change your name to call me Your Majesty like they did. ”

He said, "I will grant you the right to call me King of Han, as we did when we first talked at the horse farm, and in our lifetime, we will always call me King Han." ”

So, like Liu Shen's mother, I became the person who could still call Liu Shen "King of Han" in the Taiping New Dynasty.

In this way, Liu Shen showed me that his feelings for me have not changed because of your death and the establishment of a new dynasty.

This is also the attitude he showed to the entire powerful Han army: although the era of peace has come, Liu Shen, the king of the Han Dynasty, who has ascended the throne and become the emperor, has never forgotten the blood and sweat paid by the Han army in the process of creating peace, and has never had any suspicion, vigilance and injustice against the Han army. The new emperor has always treated the soldiers of the Han army as if he had fought bloody battles in the past. Liu Shen is still the original Liu Shen.

Liu Shen's gesture, for a long time, made the Han army generals feel relieved. They were all deeply moved by Liu Shen's benevolence, righteousness and trustworthiness.

The older he gets, the more Liu Shen likes to listen to me and call him "King Han" by his side.

How many memories of youth are contained in this title.

Sometimes, when he has nothing to do, he will come to Zhaoyang Palace to sit with me.

He would say to me, "Qin'er, there's nothing special about me coming. I just want to listen to you, like when you were young, call me King Han, accompany me, and say what is in your heart as we did when we were young. ”

Liu Shen said: "Every day in the court. In the harem, listening to them call me Your Majesty, long live the mountain, and praise and praise to the fullest, I felt so lonely in my heart, just like the day when my father called me to his study when I was young, and told me that he had decided to let my brother inherit the throne. I felt lonely and alone, lonely with nothing to say. ”

"Now, my mother has also died," he said. In the whole world, you are the only one who calls me the King of Han. ”

Liu Shen said: "I now know why the monarchs since ancient times have either been called lonely or widowed. Because. That kind of high taste is lonely and widowed. ”

(b)

Ever since you died. I often stayed alone in the warm pavilion where we said our last goodbye.

Aside from the necessary responsibilities, I don't really care much about the outside world. I often sit here quietly by myself.

I sat in the warm pavilion. The doors and windows were closed.

I sat in the warm room in a daze. The heart is empty.

I don't want to go out and get out into the outside world. Don't want to see the sun. Don't want to see flowers.

I don't want to know what time I am, I don't want to know what year I am, I don't want to know where I am.

I don't want to know anything.

I just want to sit here, because this is the world. The last place I saw you.

I just want to stay in this place forever, until I turn into dust, until I become particles, until the end of the world, until the heavens and the earth fall down. All things never regenerate.

I couldn't cry out. Because I've dried up completely.

I can't laugh out loud either, because I'm an abyss.

I had nowhere to run, all the doors were closed.

To all of them, to all of you, the one who will never be again, he is just a person who has heard of him, he is just a person who has passed away, he has never been the greatest support in your life, he has never been the core of your life.

So, they, so, you, you can accept that it will never appear, just as you accept a leaf falling from a branch. You don't feel pain in your heart. You will never feel the same heartache as I do.

Because you did not love him, his death will not hurt you.

Because no one is as heartbroken as I am, I can't communicate with everyone anymore.

The world has become strange and strange, like a desert where life has never existed. The flowers there are blooming, the fish and birds are flying, and I no longer have anything to do with it.

Between me and the world, all the ropes are broken.

(c)

I crave sleep. I still crave sleep when I go to sleep. Because, sleep, is the closest simulation to death. And death is the closest place to you.

Every day, every day, I spend a lot of time sitting here.

Our whole life is like a marquee in my heart.

I can only be with you in my memory.

Every day, every day, after I have fulfilled all my responsibilities, I will sit here in a trance, I will sit here in despair, I will sit here in despair and helplessness.

I sincerely hope that I have never been born.

I sank in peace.

(iv)

But there was one person who couldn't watch me sink like that.

He couldn't just look at it and do nothing.

He is Liu Shen. The husband you chose for me. You sacrificed the rest of your life for the honorable husband I was exchanged for. The husband who loved me all my life but didn't get anything in return.

Although we do not know what to do to save a person from deep despair, we must do something because we cannot endure the pain we witness. Whatever that is. We have to do something.

(5)

The door to the warm pavilion was pushed open from the outside. Without my permission, the only people who could push open this door from the outside could be two people: either the Empress Dowager of the new dynasty, or my husband, Emperor Liu Shen.

Liu Shen walked in.

He stood in the light of the doorway, with a glittering outline and a blurred face.

He looked at me. He walked up to me.

He said, "Qin'er, don't sit here all the time. You should go out and see the sun outside, and the sky outside. You go out with me, I will take you to the suburbs, I will take you out to inspect the capitals and counties, let's go together to see the scenery and scenery of the new dynasty outside, and let the people of the world see their emperors and queens of the new dynasty. ”

He said: "Qin'er, in the past your world had sunshine and sky, and your current world still has. In the future, there will be the same. ”

He took my hand. He pulled me hard. He pulled me hard as you did when I insisted on kneeling in front of you and refused to get up on my wedding day.

I don't have the strength to resist anything. I followed him and stood up. I stood up sleepwalking. I let him pull me.

I know that there is still sun and sky in the outside world, but I don't have it in my heart.

In my heart, there will never be one again. (To be continued.) )