Both of my parents died when they were still very young, and neither of them died naturally. It should be said that life taught me an important lesson very early, but I didn't learn the right things from it.

For example, if I don't think about myself because of this, I will disappear at any time, and everything I love or don't love will be the same.

The day I met you, I was only 13 years old, the road of life was still just beginning, and I had not yet had time to start a real life. Death seemed so far away, as if it had nothing to do with me at the moment. I never imagined it all of a sudden, face to face. Because I never conceived of such thoughts, and even when such thoughts passed me occasionally, I quickly pushed them away and ignored them, so that when death suddenly met face to face, I was not prepared for anything.

I fell into a great terror.

When a sudden mudslide and a stream of rain poured down the hillside and swept away the horses in front of me, I didn't understand what was happening.

I heard the roar of the mud flow ahead, the neighing of the horses, and the screams of the men, and then my whole face slammed into the plank of the carriage, and the sharp soreness of my nose pierced in like a long needle, and the whole world suddenly converged on this point of pain.

In the midst of the continuous and intense collisions, I instinctively braced myself with my hands to try to get out of the onslaught of the wall, my mind racing to try to figure out what was going on.

Just as I was gathering all sorts of information to form a judgment, I felt my body flip and fall, and after a loud thud and another extremely violent impact, I slipped out of something, and a strong whirlwind swept in—and then, many spikes burrowed into my clothes and into my skin. Then, there was a sharp pain in both arms that were torn off. Suddenly, I shuddered: I realized that I was no longer in the carriage. There was nothing around me and under my feet, and above there was a crooked pine tree that was shaking and trembling violently, and I hung like a ripe pine cone from one of its branches, my arms bearing the weight of my whole body. Below is the abyss! And the carriage in which I used to sit is disappearing into the white mist......

The moment the judgment was formed, I heard my own exclamation. As I thought about the logic of "the horse was frightened, it ran back, it threw off the carriage at the turn, the carriage fell off the cliff, I fell out of it and hung on a pine tree", and I felt my feet kicking in the air, my throat tightening, my heart beating wildly, and my arms going limp.

One thought was particularly vivid in the midst of the chaos: this was the end. There will be no more futures! A huge sense of loss mixed with intense grief rushed straight up: how could this be? A minute ago, I was thinking about tomorrow, but there will never be a tomorrow again. I was struck by the thought. For a moment, there was no other way to think.

Then I saw something even more terrifying: my fingers were slowly loosening the branches of the pine tree. It couldn't bear the weight of that hanging, and it began to compromise under the painful feeling!

I'm going to die. I thought to myself in despair.

"Release it! Give me your hand! A voice pierced through the great confusion.

I think I've heard it somewhere. It was as if I had been waiting for this voice. But I can't remember where I've heard it, and I don't know why I'm waiting. Before I could understand the meaning of your voice, I "recognized" something deeper than the meaning. Then, my eyes and yours met. I saw your face.

――At that moment, I had a strong feeling that I had experienced this moment. Far more than once. Many, many times, immeasurable many times, innumerable. There is an invisible circle. It's cyclical.

"Release it! Give me your hand and I'll pull you! "You are like an ape, skillfully reeling on a rope. Thy head is toward the abyss, and thy hand is stretched out diagonally upwards to me. Your body sways over the edge of the rope under the blowing of strong winds. There was a difference of about 20 centimeters between us.

You look me in the eye.

There is a composure in your eyes that makes you settle down in an instant.

I see the lines at the corners of your mouth, I see the bulging muscles under your coat.

"Let go of the branches, swing a little towards me, and give me your hand!" You say, "You can do it!" ”

Your gaze lingered on my face for a moment, then something distracted you, and your gaze turned to the pine branch. You yelled at me, "Quick! ”

Some of the dirt starts to fall from the roots of the pine trees. In an instant, they were falling in piles. I saw the roots with dirt rising from the crevices of the cliffs. And my fingers are loosening from the branches.

I don't know how it all happened. But with a scream, the pine tree fell from under my feet. And one of my arms is clutched tightly by you!

In this way, we all hang above the cliff, and my life hangs above yours.

The rope around your waist suddenly tightens and strangulates deep into you. I saw you bite your lip hard. I hear it coming into your body.

For a moment, I had a hard time believing that everything was normal! I don't think I can adapt to the situation and live again. I just felt a rapid aging flowing through me. Billions of years have passed in the minutes that have passed.

On that day, you were in the best time of your life. Painful illness and long-term fatigue have not yet destroyed you to the point of emaciation and disfigurement. You are young, powerful, vibrant, handsome, confident, determined, and fearless in standing before me. You look at me, and there is something very soft in your eyes: joy, amazement, appreciation, love, heartbeat, I don't know how to describe that moment.

I fell from one huge mess to another. I fell into something of trembling pleasure. Or it can be called, blissful intoxication. I am shrouded, or rather, imprisoned by your eyes. I couldn't move. All the instability and all the fears of billions of years are speeding away at the speed of a meteor.

I don't know why this is happening. I don't know when, the rain has stopped. I'm soaking wet and standing in front of you in a state of confusion. I see you move your arms for a moment, then untie the rope around your waist. Behind your back, I saw Wu Shun for the first time.

In that life, he was like your shadow, almost always standing there. He's pretty much an integral part of you.

"Whose daughter are you?" "Where's your family?" You ask me so.

You look at me.

I suddenly found myself still shaking involuntarily. I blushed and lowered my head.

You look at me, and you say, "You know you very well, I must know you." ”

I didn't answer your question that day. I just stood in front of you like that, saying nothing, bathed in your gaze.

You quickly learned the answer from somewhere else. You see some of the housekeepers running around the corner running over the muddy road and panting. You see familiar faces in it. You recognize the old butler. "Jean. You're Jean?! ”

Your eyes light up. A big smile jumps over your youthful face.

You say, "Remember me?" When I left, you were still a little bit!" As you speak, you look around with your eyes. You seem to remember something. Your eyes light up again.

You take a few steps back and fall back to the edge of the cliff you just climbed. You say to me, "Wait. "Then, before I could react, you shook your body and disappeared from the edge of the cliff.

I couldn't help but exclaim softly!

At this time, I saw Wu Shun smile at me, revealing a row of snow-white and neat teeth.

"He, he, he didn't have a rope just now!" I say. Wu Shun smiled at me again.

Before Wu Shun's smile faded, I saw you again. You stand in front of me radiantly, holding a large bouquet of colorful wildflowers in your hand. They should have been the ones I had just seen. Because they're growing on the cliff we've just hung on. But I really hadn't seen them just now. In every life, you can always see more than I do. Also, you can always let me see something I don't see.

When the fear of death clouds our minds, we often lose sight of anything else. Blind as blind.

It was the first time in your life that you sent me flowers.

You hand me the flowers. You look at me and say, "Do you like it?" ”

When I took the flowers, I realized that my life was going to change dramatically from then on. Because, you're back.

On that day, even though I had just met Death, I still hadn't learned the right thing: I didn't realize that you were going to die too. You will suddenly leave me, you will suddenly disappear from this world. Like it almost happened to me just now. Even though you look so young and so powerful at the moment.

That's the meeting we have in a lifetime.

It is the beginning of a long love and the beginning of endless suffering.

At the time, I was intoxicated with something hazy, indescribable, sweet, ecstasy. I don't understand at all that something so sweet is actually something so painful.

Therefore, it cannot be said that life has not taught me repeatedly. It's been edifying me all along. It's just that I read this book again and again, but I haven't understood it for a long time.