(a)

Ever since you left, I've felt deeply lonely and unable to extricate myself from it. Pen | fun | pavilion www. ｂｉｑｕｇｅ。 ｉｎｆｏ

There are two main ways for me to resist that loneliness that goes deep into my bones: talking to people online; Volunteer for charity. The former makes me more and more empty, but it can consume time; The latter makes me feel fulfilled for a while, but it doesn't solve the underlying problem.

I know how to get out of loneliness. I know where the exit to this labyrinth is. I just couldn't get there.

I've come into contact with a lot of the same kind. Get in touch with their bitter and dark lives, and equally bitter and dark hearts. I see the boundlessness and omnipresence of suffering. Even happy people have a deep fear of losing their happiness.

I have never seen you again, with such a settled and bright heart.

People struggle with all kinds of worries and pains. Even the rescuers themselves are struggling. Struggles are universal, but to varying degrees.

I miss your light. The kind of light that is deep in hellish pain, but can still warmly illuminate the souls of others.

Only by solving the difficulties of birth, old age, sickness and death can I be freed from loneliness.

(b)

At that time, I loved virtual spaces. So, when I wanted to write this story, the first thing I thought of was to put it in a virtual space, not a physical book or a film or television work. The virtual space makes me feel intimate.

What I love about the virtual space is because it's not a real space.

The reason I don't like real space is because you're no longer there.

The real space for me is the space you are definitely not in.

I certainly don't know if you're in a virtual space, but at least it's a space that doesn't determine that you don't exist, that is, a space that might determine your existence.

While I didn't witness you "entering this space", I at least didn't witness you "leaving this space".

So, I like the virtual space more than the real space. Not only do I like the virtual space over the real space, but I also like the virtual space over the dead space.

I know you've been to Dead Space, but I'm not sure if you're still there.

What's more, there's no way I'm going to enter Dead Space and bring you back. There's no way I'm going to meet you in the space of death. Because once I entered that space, I didn't feel it anymore. I won't be able to feel you.

So, only the virtual space is a middle ground between the real and the dead. Only in this zone is it possible for you to exist and meet me.

Even if you don't exist, I can bring you back and see you again through a lot of virtual tools like writing.

This is the only space where we can meet again, and the space where we can meet again. In this virtual space, there are countless people hidden under the masks who pass by day and night. I know that they are all people who really exist in real space. But they are hiding under heavy masks, so they seem even more ethereal, and they can't seem to be sure whether they are from the space of reality, the space of the past, or the space of death. Their spatial properties become blurred so that imagination can be carried out.

When I'm very lonely, it's easier for me to imagine that you are hidden under one of the masks than when I'm standing on the street. It's easier for me to feel like you're around me, right next to me, we're in the same stream of people than if I were standing on the street.

Therefore, standing on the waves of this virtual space, I always feel warmer and more intimate than standing on the sidewalk of the commercial street.

In addition, the virtual space is as ethereal and unattainable as the space of the past. I feel like it has some kind of same characteristics as the vanished past. Because of their common characteristics, I think they might be connected to each other.

Sometimes, I dream that maybe I can enter that vanished time through this virtual space. At least, it's easier for me to believe, accept, and envision entering that vanished time in this space.

In the same way, I also feel that this space and the future space are also interconnected. I feel that the virtual space is also a middle ground between the past and the future.

So, I sometimes feel that my actions in this space are more perceptible to you who have disappeared into the past or exist in the future than my actions on the street.

What I say here, the tears I shed, the thoughts and prayers I place here, the calls I make here, may be more perceptible to you.

The possibility that you and I could connect through time and space seems a little bigger here. At least, it doesn't seem "absolutely impossible" in the real world.

I'm nostalgic for this little bit of vague softness.

(c)

I also know that there is a lot of illusion and self-deception in this feeling.

But I'm so lonely. It's like a very thirsty person who knows that the liquid in front of him is a poison that pierces the intestines. I need a little hope to illuminate myself. Even if it's a virtual hope. Even if it's just despair that doesn't seem so cold.

I know that virtual spaces are spaces that don't actually exist. I know there's nothing in the virtual space. But I still can't help but be nostalgic and love it.

Entering the network is equivalent to dreaming in reality.

I first started writing this novel in an online game, Moon Palace Dream.

I first put it in an endless dreamlike environment.

I love this layered virtuality. I love this amplification-enhanced virtuality. It's the closest place I can find that looks like you're where you are.

I put this novel into this virtual rippling Pacific Ocean like a drifting bottle.

I know you didn't get a chance to see it.

But I will pray for you to see it.

Maybe I was crazy a long time ago.

(iv)

I've been an internet celebrity for a long time.

I've gotten through a lot of online literature sites that are now extinct.

At that time, the literature on the Internet was still literature, not the obscenity and madness of the weak. In those words, you can also see ideals, the light of human nature, the heaviness of life, and the perception and yearning for beauty.

Compared with today's online literature, the authors at that time were not only of higher quality, but also more pure and kind.

However, with the passage of time, those who used to write together have drifted apart.

Some of them have passed the stage of youth and enthusiasm, compromised with reality, and become middle-aged Oba in the business field. Some have found business opportunities from the Internet, successfully transformed into all kinds of Internet celebrities, rushed to the cusp, and became a member of the limelight and drinking soy sauce in Wuzhen.

However, none of them have solved their spiritual problems.

Whether they are famous now or unknown, they have not escaped the predicament of life and death, nor have they been able to eradicate the pain and troubles of life.

Whether they are hidden in the crowd or buried in fame and fortune, in the end, they will still be tormented by their troubles and will disappear under the scythe of death.

Over the years, I've watched my former friends leave the internet one by one, while the people on the street flock in, and the internet becomes a market, a shopping street, a bank, a bathhouse, a toilet, a game hall, a casino, a billboard, a blind date, and all sorts of things in the real world.

It's not that innocent paradise anymore.

When I decided to upload the book to a Chinese website, a friend said to me, "Why do you want to upload it to the Chinese Internet?" The Internet is now growing like weeds. It will be difficult to have anything profound to stay here in the future. People on the Internet, they just like things that are fleeting. They won't be interested in dwelling on anything profound. ”

But I decided to put the book on the website anyway.

To commemorate the years I spent wandering on the web.

To remember this, leave the space that seems closer to you.