(a)

Because the gold has long been hollowed out, this mine has long become an abandoned mine, and the underground river that flows through the mine has dried up, and only some tools used by gold miners in the past have been rearranged in the mine. Pen "Fun" Pavilion www.biquge.info

In order to give some comfort to the grave sweepers, there is now an amusement program where visitors can spend 10 yuan to drive a minecart into the dark mine and shoot the targets in the darkness with a laser pistol.

S said, "Let's try it too, it's been a long time since I've seen you shoot." ”

I silently followed him into the small minecart.

I shot again. This is the first time I've touched a gun since you died.

When I touched the gun, I felt like I had missed the gun for a long time.

We pass through a dark mine cave on a rocking minecart. As the minecart exits the hole, we see the result of hitting a moving target on the electronic screen. I hit all the targets and the hit rate was 100%, and the S hit rate was 88%.

We tried again. My score was the same as last time, and this time, S hit 89%.

As we stepped out of the minecart, the administrator said that no one had hit 100% twice in a row since the project began. He said, "You got the highest score." HE HANDED ME A DOLLS OF PONY PONY. "It's your prize, you're the first one to take it," he said. ”

On the minecart, S watched the scores on my scoreboard add up, and he said, "You haven't regressed much. I can't. ”

Hearing him say this, I suddenly felt very sad in my heart, and I almost cried.

Coming out of the mine, we didn't feel very happy. We were all very sad. The heart is heavy.

(b)

Coming out of the mine, we walked back along the path away from the cemetery.

On the way, we also passed by a small horse farm with many Caucasian ponies, but none of them looked too healthy.

The caretaker told us that these were ponies who were born with defects and could not be selected to be racehorses or enter the circus. They would have been killed and made into horse meat products. However, there are some well-wishers who bought them and kept them here. The caretaker said that maintaining their daily life would require more expenses that the purchaser could not afford for a long time, so it was placed here for the grave sweepers to adopt.

He said that 500 yuan can adopt a horse for 1 year, and the cemetery operator will deduct 20% of the management fee for this 500 yuan, and the rest will be used for the pony's living expenses and health care expenses. Every year, the cemetery sends a detailed list of expenses to the adopter. Adopters can also come by at any time to inspect the ponies' feeding and treatment.

I listened to their introductions, looked at the poor ponies, and adopted three of them.

I chose the ponies I wanted to adopt and took a picture with them.

I stroked the well-behaved ponies and looked at their big wet eyes, their foreheads gently pressed against my palms. I felt a little better.

(c)

We got into the car and left the cemetery.

On the way back, we had been listening to the CD in the car. None of us spoke.

After 26 kilometers, my tears suddenly welled up.

I sat next to S, tears streaming down my face, and my whole body trembled from crying silently.

S can't drive.

We parked on the side of the road for 40 minutes.

S held the tissue box in his hand and kept pulling out the tissue and handing it to me.

The male and female hosts of "Listen All the Way" on the radio have always said that there is an unexplained blockage on the highway to Shenyang.

The weather was sunny outside the car window. Many of the forks in the road were nearly noon, but the fog was still thick.

I used up all the tissues in the S-car.

By the time I was about to arrive at the hotel, I was back to normal. Actually, I don't know which state is really normal. Whoever puts on the armor and puts on the mask, or takes off the armor and takes off the mask.

I looked through the rearview mirror at myself with red and swollen eyes. The long earrings swayed incessantly on both sides of the neck. The two red agate beads resembled two drops of coagulated blood.

Is this me? Do you still exist in this world as I used to be?

Huge black holes.

An infinite void with entities. Devour everything. No ray of light can escape.

Lots of chills. From body to soul.

I desire to exist in the same way as you, or cease to exist.

Don't ask to be together. It's nice to be able to do the same.

I'm tired of such heterogeneous isolation.

S looked at me. I saw the lines on his forehead getting deeper and deeper. He said, "Go up and take a shower, change your clothes, and then come down and have a good meal." Perhaps, the mood will be better. ”

I said, "Take a bath? Change of clothes? ”

S said, "Here's the custom. After going to the cemetery, I came back to take a shower and change clothes. “

I said, "How ridiculous." That corpse, actually, it is us. We are what it is. How can it be washed off? “

S said, "yes." It can't be washed off with water. “

He said: "You can't wash it away with tears." “

He said: "Heart, if you want to open up, don't be sad."

I said thank you to S.

We said goodbye in the driveway of the hotel.

I walked into the elevator.

I arrived at the room.

I opened the door.

I walked into the bedroom.

I kicked my shoes off.

I collapsed on my back on the bed.

I fell there, in ashes.

(iv)

I turned on my computer and started writing this story on my computer non-stop.

At that time, I was using a chat app called AIM.

Kaohsiung kept sending me questions on AIM.

He asked me what I was doing.

I said: I'm writing a story.

He said, "Are you in that city now?"

I said, "Yes."

He said, "You went to see him?"

I said, "Yes."

He said, "Finally gone."

I said, "Yes." Finally came to see him.

Kaohsiung said: Can you stop for a while and not write a story? Talk to me?

I said, "No."

He said, "Just an hour." You can talk to me for an hour, don't write yet, okay?

I said, "No."

I don't want to isolate you. I'm going to be with you in the story.

I crave instruction and guidance. Desire for refuge.

I have to get a correct answer. How to get rid of the crush of birth, old age, sickness and death!

The answer is air.

I couldn't live without it.

(5)

In the past days, I have talked to people a lot on AIM because of the need to escape loneliness. This also includes yellow content.

One day, a man begged me online to participate in his yellow fantasies. We talked for three hours about other aspects of human life that are not yellow. In the end, he got to what he wanted to do in the first place.

He kept asking me, do you like this pose? Do you like me doing this action?

I always answer: No. Dislike. Dislike. Dislike.

My "dislikes" rushed at him.

He finally said that I can't think of any other postures and movements that I haven't talked about.

He said, "Then tell me what you like." ”

I said, "Actually, I don't really mind the movements and postures. I have low requirements for these technical details. ”

He said, "So what are you asking for?" ”

I said, "Yes to people." ”

I said, "If it's someone you like, then I'll do whatever I want." What he likes, it's all wonderful. ”

The man was silent for a long time, and finally said, "Do all women think like you?" ”

I said, "I am like this, I don't know the rest." ”

This has been happening for a long time. I never wrote about it.