Candlelight flickering. The flower hall on my small upstairs.

There is wine and food on the desk. We sat opposite each other.

You've changed into new clothes and are sitting down at your desk.

I said, "I rushed all the way back, I didn't eat lunch or dinner, I'm hungry." ”

I'll help you with the meal. I put the bowl in front of you. I'll hand you the chopsticks. You take the chopsticks. You look at me. Your gaze is hot.

I was breathing hard again. I lowered my head deeply, my face was hot, and even my eyelids seemed to be hot.

You say, "I'm sorry, Jean, I just said," you say, "I don't know either. Why are you mad at me? ”

I shook my head slightly, and I whispered, "How could I be angry with you." Eat it, the food is going to be cold. ”

I watched you eat.

I lifted the small silver kettle next to me and poured you a small glass of plum juice. I said, "The new plum juice in the Zhuangzi is sweet and sour, very delicious, appetizing, you can taste it." ”

You watch as the cup is slowly filled. You took the silver kettle, and you poured half a cup for the cup in front of me.

You say, "Will you drink with me?" In any case, today is a festive day. I said, "Okay." ”

We hold our glasses. We looked at each other.

You say, "For the father." I wish my father a long and healthy life. A small smile welled up on my lips. I said, "Okay." For fathers. I wish my father a long life than Nanshan. ”

You look at me, you don't move your chopsticks.

I said, "I'll give you another bowl." These dishes are what you like to eat. ”

You say, "I'll eat later." Probably running too fast. I couldn't eat it for a while. ”

I said, "How can you run so fast?" I heard that the horses were so tired that they fell. It's dangerous to run that fast. ”

You say, "But it's not fast enough." By the time I got home, both father and son had already left. ”

I said, "My father originally kept them for a few days, but Wenhou Shibo was originally willing. However, the younger brother of the Wenhou family, after being rejected by his father, was in a very bad mood, and Wenhou Shibo was afraid that he would be sad here, so he smiled and said to his father, this time is really inappropriate, let's get together again next time. Then, after everyone had a meal together, Shibo took the son to say goodbye, and the father felt that he could not go, so he insisted on sending them to the next official post in person. ”

You say, "I never thought that you would be someone else's family at any time." You may be a member of the family at breakfast and someone else's at dinner. ”

I said, "I didn't think of it either." ”

I've poured you another small glass of plum juice. I said, "It tastes good." I have asked the steward of the village to send a few barrels to the barracks today, so that everyone can try them. ”

You gratefully say, "Sister, you've thought so thoughtfully. I thank you on behalf of the brethren. ”

We toasted and toasted each other.

I said, "When my father called me to the study, I was very nervous. I stalled, looking at the horse road in front of the door again and again. I'm wondering, I don't know where the little guy in your yard has run now. I wish you were at home then. ”

You say, "I'm sorry. I didn't expect anything like this to happen. I thought that Xia Wenhou and his son were just ordinary visits. ”

You say, "Today, why don't you say no to your father?" ”

I said, "How can I say no?" Many of my own daughters are sent off before the age of 15, and perhaps I have been at home for too long. ”

You say, "There is no such thing." You are the daughter of my family who values more than my own daughter. ”

I said, "Moreover, I have heard that Xia Wenhou Shibo is an important minister of the Han king, and he is very powerful in the court, and I don't know what it will mean to my father to reject Xia Wenhou." ”

You listened, and there was no word.

You silently drank the plum juice from your cup. I silently poured you another glass.

You say, "What would have happened today if my father hadn't understood you?" ”

I said, "Fortunately, my father understood." Wenhou Shibo is also very amiable. Later, my father asked me to visit him. He kept smiling and praising my father, and praised me, and said that although it was a pity to be rejected, it was really happy for my father to see my father leave such a flowery daughter, and said that my father should be able to smile Jiuquan. He didn't look angry at all. He also said that orphans like me deserve a more honorable and noble home, saying that his son is clumsy and really unworthy of the piano. When he left, he and his father still talked happily all the way, and there should be no disagreement. Although the brother of the Wenhou family was a little depressed, he did not mean to be resentful. With a sigh of relief, I said, "This is finally over in peace." ”

But, you shake your head. You say, "There is no end. Jean. This kind of thing, once it starts, will be endless. You have already done the prostration. The visit of Wenhou Shibo and Shige is just a beginning. ”

I look at you in amazement. I didn't expect this.

I stayed for a while. I said, "Well, what will happen?" ”

Say, "From this day on, people will keep coming." When more and more people visit, Dad will think about you. In the end, there are only two kinds of results: either your father takes the initiative to find a family with the right family and promises you to be married; Or, one day someone finally came who his father couldn't refuse, or even, maybe it was the internal envoy of King Han, and the whole thing would be over. ”

"Huh? King Han? "I was taken aback. I remembered what Wenhou Shibo said, "There should be a more honorable and noble home", and I couldn't help but shudder in my heart. Could it be that Xia Wenhou will mention me to the Queen Mother?

I said, "Could it be, Shibo, that you will still recommend me to the palace?" ”

You say, "Possibly." With your father's identity and merits, you are highly qualified and honorable to be selected into the court of the King of Han. ”

I gasped. I said, "No one has ever told me this before." ”

You said: "The King of Han is now in his prime, although the war in the four directions, but it is a matter of succession, every two or three years, the court of the King of Han will always have to draft women into the palace." You're fifteen years old, and from now on, you're already eligible for the draft. ”

You said: "Shibo has a close relationship with the Queen Mother, and has won the trust of the Queen Mother, since he has already seen you and likes you so much, he will go to Dongcheng to congratulate the Queen Mother on her birthday soon after, and no one can predict whether he will recommend you to the Queen Mother and the King of Han." ”

When I heard this, my heart was cold, and even my hands and feet were cold.

You say, "So, Qin'er, you haven't been a daughter at home for long." Soon, you will marry in a strange place, a strange family, and start another life. ”

I'm looking at you. Silent.

You watched the charcoal fire under the small stove go out, you took a silver kettle, poured me half a cup of plum juice, and then filled your own cup with it.

We silently drank another drink.

There was a long silence. I asked, "Does this happen to every woman?" When you grow up, you will be handed over to someone you don't know and are not familiar with? Is it that once you are handed over, you must live with this unknown person for the rest of your life, until you leave the world? Is it that from now on, we should stay away from the places where we used to live and the people we knew in the past? ”

You say, "Yes." That's pretty much the way it has been throughout the ages. Just like your mother, just like my mother. ”

I said, "What about you?" Do you want to live with a strange woman? ”

You say, "Yes." Just like the king of Han can give me a knighthood, if the queen mother and the king of Han are happy, they can also casually give me a woman I don't know. And this is a great honor that cannot be denied. ”

You say, "That's how the marriage of father and mother is like this, isn't it?" My mother was married to my father by the old Han king. Although her father was many years older than her, she already had a concubine and son who had been favored for many years. ”

You said, "Actually, the last time I went to Dongcheng to meet me, the Queen Mother mentioned my marriage to my father, saying that she would help me pay attention to it and be sure to point me to a suitable person." I'm afraid that I will make you worry in vain when I say it, so I didn't mention it when I came back. ”

I'm looking at you. I sighed silently.

I said, "All men and women in our family must live like this for the rest of their lives." ”

You say, "Pretty much yes." This kind of life has been going on for thousands of years. ”

I said, "What if you don't like that stranger." What if both parties can't live together? ”

You say, "Men have a way." A man can keep this stranger in the house well and then marry another person until he has someone he likes. ”

"What about women? Is there no way for a woman? ”

You say, "Yes." No matter how she felt about the stranger, she didn't have a chance to change again. Even if the stranger died unexpectedly, she couldn't change it again. She also has to bury her life and guard the dead soul forever. ”

I couldn't help but feel sad. I said, "I didn't know before, but being a woman turned out to be so scary." ”

I said, "Won't this uninteresting life change?" ”

You say, "Maybe in the future." But I think that will be far, far away. ”

I said, "I can't wait for it to be changed, can I?" ”

You nodded. You say, "Yes." We can't wait. ”