(a)

We were on the same train again. Pen, fun, and www.biquge.info

But, this time, we can't sit together anymore.

On the train back from Bosang, Director Wang deliberately arranged our bunks in two carriages. He himself and I were in the same car, and you were placed in a different car, with a dining car and five sleeper cars in between.

Director Wang is afraid that we are not far enough apart, lest we will cross the carriage and find an opportunity to talk to each other.

Seeing that we had slipped to the brink of peace with the world as we approached each other in defiance of danger, he was deeply concerned that we were soon to cross some important barrier, and that if we did, the whole world would become very hostile to us, and that great pressure would come over us. It will not only tear apart our reputations, but it will also swallow up our future.

Director Wang feels that as a person who has come out of a frenzied relationship, he has a responsibility and must help us stay calm and rational.

He kept a careful watch over me on the way. Even if I went to the end of the car to get some boiling water, he would find an excuse to come with me.

During the whole trip, you would occasionally come here to have a look, but we still didn't have a chance to whisper even a word.

You walked into the car with many lunch boxes and drink cups from the direction of the dining car, nodded to us, talked to Director Wang, talked to others, my eyes followed you, and I couldn't take my eyes off it. And as you speak, your eyes look at me from afar.

But every time like this, Director Wang will cough loudly or speak to you immediately, and sometimes he will stand up and block our connected vision with his body.

So, along the way I felt a kind of incarceration loneliness.

I felt high walls of lead gray on all sides.

I'll see you again when the train arrives.

The people in the carriages on both sides of us gathered on the platform.

I see your eyes fall on my luggage.

You thought about coming over and helping me with my luggage, but before you could move, Director Wang came over and helped me lift the heaviest equipment bag.

While he was helping me carry the bag, he beckoned you and asked you to help Xiao Song carry her bag.

Director Wang carried my bag, talked to me all the time, dragged me all the way to the front of the team, and you didn't have the opportunity to walk side by side with me.

You followed me from a distance, watching as Director Wang put me in the taxi home.

I saw your gaze in the car window following the movement of the car.

Then I saw Director Wang blocking the direction of the taxi with his body, and he was talking to you.

You nodded in agreement as you glanced at the car one last time, and then you turned around and went to take Xiao Song to the taxi.

I watched you slowly disappear from my vision, and I felt lost.

We've all had to live like prisoners all the way until I graduate?

I felt like I couldn't take it anymore. I can't stand it anyway.

But if I go one step further, will it cause you to lose your reputation and cause you to be expelled from school?

And just like that, I returned home with a thousand knots in my heart.

(b)

The new semester started a week after we returned from Bosan.

We didn't see each other that week. s didn't come to my house either.

At night, I was on the balcony of my house, looking at the experimental building of the scientific research institute from afar, looking at the balconies and windows of the black holes. I was looking forward to the faint light from there. But I didn't expect anything.

Do you think it's better for us to stop being alone?

Obviously, you didn't actively seek the idea of being alone with me, and you didn't do it anymore.

In a lavender field, am I not doing well?

Is there anything that makes you think it's better for us to be a little further apart?

My mind was full of such nonsense.

Without you, my world would no longer have sunshine, and I would never be complete again.

(c)

School is finally in session. I've been waiting for this day for eons of time.

I look forward to seeing you, to be sure that I met you, that you are still there, that our relationship is still the same.

But when I saw you again, I understood that time is far more powerful than we think.

Even if it's just a week, a lot can change.

I noticed a lot of things that seemed to be different from what they used to be.

The first change is that you are noticeably thinner than when you first came back from Beausan.

You're obviously losing weight slowly. Every day when I see you, you seem to be a little thinner than the previous time, and your cheekbones are a little protruding. Although you kept saying that your weight hadn't changed, I didn't feel that way.

With your emaciation comes more and more silence.

On the first day of school, I found that you were no longer as eager to see me as you were the last time we met again, and you no longer always wanted to be alone with me.

During the training, you walked up and down in front of me, you said a lot to me, but I felt that there were no more words behind your words.

What used to be a place rich in languages is now a wall.

In public, I can now often only hear the words of your voice. The words you don't have to say have become silent.

When we couldn't see each other, I no longer felt a distant gaze following my back through all the obstacles.

I felt the gaze beat inside you, and then I felt you force yourself to block it.

(c)

On the first day of the new semester training, Director Wang made a brief mobilization speech.

He mentioned several times in his speech that the relaxation of the holidays should now be tightened.

He said: "Whether it is a student who spends the summer vacation at home or a student who goes to Bosang for training, from today onwards, we must put away the heart of playing wild." ”

He said: "We have to start school like a school start. Anything that has nothing to do with learning and training should not be thought about anymore. ”

As he said this, he glanced at you.

I see you behind him, looking down at the ground.

I saw you tiptoe slightly.

Just as I was looking at these subtle movements of yours, Director Wang called me coldly: "Idealism!" ”

I looked at you and didn't hear what Director Wang was saying at all.

I see your eyes talking to me.

Then I suddenly woke up and realized that Director Wang had called my name just now. I quickly replied, "Yes." Guide. ”

Director Wang said: "Did you hear what I said just now? ”

The eyes of the whole column fell on me.

I see your lips move. You can't hold it back.

I immediately preempted the other actions you could make, and replied, "Report guidance, I heard." ”

Director Wang said to me in his eyes, "I hope you really heard it." ”

Then, he said, "Good. If you hear it, you have to do it for real. If you do it, you really listen. ”

He said, "Now, disband." ”

As everyone dispersed and walked towards the locker room and equipment room, I followed everyone away and saw that you were staying where you were.

You stand there thinking about things.

I see your hand reaching for your trouser pocket. I see the edge of a white cardboard box peeking out of your pants pocket, which looks like part of a box of pills.

I toe a chair on the side of the road. The chair made a little noise.

Director Wang raised his head and looked at this side at the same time as you.

Your hand stops at the edge of your pants pocket.

I continued to look at you under the gaze of Director Wang.

I see your fingers clenching next to your pocket.

Your clenched fist lingers next to your pocket. Then, you slowly release your fist. Your hands are out of your pants pockets.

Then, you turn around and walk towards the guidance office.

I see your back. It feels like you have a lot of unseen weight on your shoulders. (To be continued.) )