(a)

So, this equestrian rider, who didn't believe that women couldn't catch up, continued to launch a fierce pursuit of me.

He bought me flowers with all the prize money he won at that event, and let the flowers fill the small balcony of my room.

He bought me all the prize money from all the races that year.

He kept buying me all kinds of flowers from all over the world, and he followed my whereabouts and kept sending me all kinds of flowers from all over the world.

The bouquets and love letters he sent from arenas around the world filled every castle and villa I had.

His flowers followed my every trip.

On every step of the ruins, at every dining table, on the bed where I woke up every morning, I saw everywhere the flowers he sent from all over the world.

He persevered and kept sending me all kinds of flowers without any requirements for me.

He doesn't say he loves me, he doesn't ask for my letters and thanks, he doesn't deliberately seek to appear in front of my eyes, he just exists in the flowers he sends.

Gradually, he was like air in my lonely life.

His gesture and manner made me feel an ancient familiarity.

I vaguely remember, as if in a distant past life, there was a man who often filled my dormitory with flowers of the four seasons. Once, when I had recovered from a long illness, I smelled the fragrance of flowers blooming all over the dormitory.

I remember that the man used to be in love with me, but he never forced me.

He always expressed his love silently like this, and did not ask me to accept it, nor did he force me to reciprocate.

I remember snuggling up in his arms with tears in my eyes and my heart filled with regret for him.

In the dead of night, I often looked at the flowers he sent me alone, thinking of the love I had in the past.

(b)

All women are passive in their bones.

Not many women can withstand the temptation of a man's long, passionate pursuit.

Even strong women in the business world are still women, and it is difficult to completely get rid of the natural limitations of species categories.

Gradually, the people around me got used to the presence of his flowers in my life. I'm also used to getting up every day and seeing his flowers and his warm words at the head of my bed.

So, more and more often, I remembered the way he rode his horse, the way he looked at me when we first met on the racecourse.

So, I began to miss his flowers and began to get used to his flowers.

When I opened my eyes in the morning, I found myself unconsciously searching for his flowers with my eyes. If I didn't see the new flowers he sent, I felt lost and worried about what was wrong with him.

Sometimes, we will also meet at the racetrack. When I see his name among the contestants, I can't help but feel my heart beat and my cheeks turn crimson, as if I have returned to my first love blossom when I was a girl.

He'll ask me to dinner after the event. I would occasionally promise him once or twice, if there was anyone else to accompany me.

We had a great conversation at the dinner table and the atmosphere was very harmonious.

At his invitation, I also participated in several equestrian rider networking events.

We're slowly getting acquainted.

But I still hesitated, became extra cautious in my relationship with him, and I always avoided bringing him into my business network and avoiding being alone with him.

People are like this, the more they care about something, the more careful they will be.

I don't know why, but I always had a gut feeling that it wasn't safe enough to be alone with him.

Perhaps, since then, my female intuition has seen that rude character in him.

It's just that I was so confused by the passion he pursued that I couldn't clearly realize the insight in my heart.

We were in a relationship that was like this for a while.

Photos of us in and out of pairs have been hunted by paparazzi, published in various types of gossip magazines and newspaper columns, and spread all over the Internet.

However, most relatives and friends think that this is just another new romance, and our family and educational backgrounds are too far apart, even if we have some common language, it is difficult to become a life partner after all.

None of the people around me have seriously considered the possibility of us getting married.

My other suitors didn't really take this dark horse seriously.

(c)

Time flies, and before I know it, I have lived to be 30 years old in this world.

I still haven't met you.

In the vast sea of people, endless time and space, I don't know where you are waiting for me.

As my 30th birthday approached, my mood became a little bleak and gloomy.

I told my father that I wanted to celebrate my 30th birthday alone and think about the path of this life.

My father was very understanding, he supported me in doing so, and helped me turn down all kinds of birthday entertainment.

"Turning 30 is a watershed moment when a person is fully mature," he said. You've explored and tried enough before to know your heart better than you did when you were 17. You've traveled enough and met all kinds of people, it's time to calm down and think about what kind of life you want to have. Whether it's your marriage, or your life's work. I think that's what your mother wants from you. ”

So, the day before my 30th birthday, I went back to my favorite Monaco villa alone, where I spent the night alone listening to the waves.

With a glass of soda in hand, I sat on the spacious bay window of my bedroom on the second floor of the villa, looking at the sparkling Mediterranean Sea, and my heart was filled with memories of scenes from my past life.

General, Dear Guide, Dingguo Gong, You'anhou, Wu Shun, Fu Tianliang, Liu Shen, Wang Taishufei, Chen Shouye, Yang Biao, Master Daoji, Wang Gui, Teacher Chai, Xiao Song, Xiao S, Sun Cannon, these messy and vague shadows rise and fall in my heart, floating around, disturbing my heart to pieces.

I miss you. Every cell in your body is calling and longing for you. All feelings are utterly empty and empty, longing for your presence and contact with you.

If it weren't for the sake of meeting you again and continuing the previous fate, the whole world would mean almost nothing to me.

I felt a deep sense of loneliness. The deep loneliness of being in a sea of people, but not being able to communicate with them.

There are tens of billions of people in this world, but there is no one I know who can resonate with me in this regard.

I stayed in bed all night reading an English-language book called Past and Present Lives, in which the author interviewed hundreds of people from all over the world who had memories of past lives, and faithfully recorded their memories of the details of their past lives.

It was the only reading that soothed my inner pain.