(a)

It took a long time for me to sit down in my chair and be able to move, and I took a breath again.

I asked, "How is he doing now, how is his condition?" Is he okay? ”

Dao Ji said: "I sensed that his last moment was getting closer and closer, and when Jinfeng Zhai pulled out the camp and marched north, the Mixed Yuan Pill sent to him by the sect was also used up again, so I took the initiative to set off to help him with the last handful." When I arrived at the barracks on the Northern Front, he was dying and dying, and I stayed there for more than a month. ”

Dao Ji said: "I have used all the methods I can use. I've tried even the methods that don't work. ”

Daoji said: "It's useless to stay any longer." ”

"Now, it's up to him. ”

My complexion must have become ugly.

Dao Ji hurriedly said: "However, when I left, he was fine. ”

I said, "So, how long does he have left?" ”

"It depends on when the next attack is. ”

"Even if he doesn't have a seizure, he won't be able to see the leaves fall next fall," he said. ”

A spike was plunged straight into my heart. I lost my breath.

I slumped into my chair in a state of dismay.

(b)

After a while. I heard Daoji's voice: "Mrs. Jun, you have to be strong." This is what he expects from you. Be strong like your father's daughter. Write him a letter right away, and try to send it to him right away. You may have one last time to say goodbye. You should have the strength to face the real situation and say goodbye well. Say goodbye bravely. Say an honest goodbye to each other. ”

Dao Ji said: "Mrs. Jun, you still have a chance, tell him that you will live strongly, will not live up to all his hard work, and you still have a chance to let him go peacefully." ”

"When I leave here, I'll write a letter to him and tell him that I've come to see Mrs. Jun," said Daoji. I said everything. Mrs. Jun also knows everything. You shouldn't hide it from each other. ”

Daoji said: "Without a frank and honest farewell, you will all leave a lifelong regret." ”

(c)

This was the second time I met Dao Ji.

He gave me all the answers. He said that we are all brave and good children, and that we should have an honest and honest goodbye like a warrior.

In our last moments, we should face the truth, face the separation, and face the death.

We should have a calm farewell. A strong farewell. An affectionate goodbye. A fearless goodbye.

However, I was not as brave and strong as Dao Ji thought I was.

In fact, I have failed my father and you at all, I am not brave at all, I am not strong at all.

I don't have the strength to face the truth. I can't stand the reality of the suddenness.

Although I didn't shed a single tear after Dao Ji left, I couldn't bear it.

I was completely crushed by the news.

(iv)

The night after Dao Ji left, I had a miscarriage. I lost a baby boy.

Thanks to my eldest brother's calculations, I delivered the placenta on the third night.

My blood flowed from the room to the hallway 20 meters away.

I almost died.

Dao Ji didn't know that I was pregnant at the time.

When you received Liu Shen's letter, the child that Liu Shen was happy about, the child you cared about for a long time before coming, was gone.

On the night before Dao Ji came, after Liu Shen wrote a letter to you, he took Wu Renming to the southern line overnight. There they are going to attack another city under the rule of the city.

When I miscarried, Liu Shen was not in Yunjing.

In the two days and two nights on the line of life and death, I was in a hurry.

I'm ashamed. I wasn't always my father's daughter. I don't deserve your affection either.

Now, I'm in the last years of my life. Can I live my life worthy of your guidance and your affection?