(a)

Since then, your father has poured all his regrets and thoughts about your mother into you.

However, you have been in poor health. When you were 3 years old, you had a high fever that triggered a severe headache, and you were bleeding from all your knots, your limbs twitched, your skin was bruised, and you almost died.

On that day, Shizu and Daoji came to visit their father for something. It was Shizu and Daoji who saved you. In order to save you, they also stayed in the mansion for more than 40 days. The deep friendship between my father and the two generations of sect masters of the Qingliu Sect was developed in these more than 40 days.

Under the careful care of Shizu and Daoji, you finally turned the corner and picked up a life.

I don't know any of these things. When you grow up, you don't have any memories at all. However, Jing Yun, who is older than all of us, has seen everything, and he remembers everything.

After you recovered, Shizu and Daoji finished asking their father for help, and they had to leave and go back. Before leaving, Shizu had a talk with his father. The master believes that although you have recovered, the root of the disease has not been broken, and if you do not continue to treat and carefully recuperate, I am afraid that it will relapse in the near future, and I am afraid that it will be difficult to raise an adult. When my father heard this, he became anxious.

At this time, Uncle Ding Youren suggested that it would be better for you to follow Shizu and Daoji to Qingchuan and become a disciple of Qingliu Sect.

Ding Youren said that in this way, on the one hand, you can let Shizu and Dao Ji continue to regulate your body and remove the root of the disease, and on the other hand, you can also learn the skills of the Qingliu Sect, which can not only strengthen your body, but also help your father in the Lingnan war in the future.

Shizu liked your intelligence and sharpness very much, and especially liked the perseverance and calmness you showed during your illness, and he agreed to let Daoji take you as an apprentice and make you a disciple of the Qingliu Sect.

In order to settle your life in Qingchuan, your uncle Ding Youren personally went to Qingchuan to investigate, and he was very satisfied with the Taoist style of the Qingliu Sect and the environment of Qingxiu. Then, Dao Ji came to Cui Jiaji again and took you to Qingchuan.

In this way, you lived in Cheongcheon until you became an adult. There, you get the dual teachings of Shizu and Daoji. You soon showed many unique qualities that stood out from the crowd of disciples. What makes you stand out is that you are always extra calm in the face of death and danger, and you have very strong self-control. From a very young age, you never allowed yourself to lose control.

You are always in good control of yourself, and therefore you are in good control of the situation. Your extremely sharp and accurate intuition also surprised Shizu and Dao Ji. You get their respect and affection, and you get their teaching and teaching. They have almost taught you all the housekeeping skills of the Qingliu Sect.

(b)

Later, Dao Ji told me about the conversation you had with him after you had a head attack at home, was seriously ill and dying, and was rescued and awakened by him.

You say that you know your fate too late, that you have promised me that you are unable to do it now. You feel very sad. You told Dao Ji not to tell me about this, and never to tell me until you die. You said that you want to go back to Qingchuan with Daoji, so that your father and I don't want to witness the severe pain of your illness again, and you can't bear to see us suffer and suffer because of your pain.

Dao Ji told me that we were doomed long before we fell in love with each other.

You were born into this world with that bad luck. We couldn't have grown old together from the start. We never had that possibility. I knew you in the middle of death devouring you. That's why Doji sighed to himself when he saw my red and swollen eyes for the first time.

On that day, Dao Ji also told me about your life during your recuperation in Qingchuan, your hesitation and hesitation, the conversation between the master and you, your solitary meditation, how you had a premonition that something was wrong at home, and how you hurried back to Cuijiaji to rescue me before your body recovered.

He told me everything he knew about you.

With his narration, all the confusion in my heart over the years has been cleared, and all the questions have been answered in an instant:

Why didn't you write me a word during your recuperation in Qingchuan, why did you refuse to marry me during your Yantang Pass, why did you go to Wangyuan Pass to rescue Yang Biao and invite Liu Shen to visit, why did you push me to Liu Shen again and again, why did you use Zhang Fengming's assassins to test Liu Shen's heart for me, in the Zhongyuan Festival, in the Shangyuan Festival, why did you want to kiss me, you wanted to be close to me on the hill outside Yantang Pass, but in the end you didn't, why did you take me to Jinfeng Village to participate in the alliance, Why did you marry me to Liu Shen, and why did you never hear from me again?

All the confusion was answered in an instant. I was so shocked by this answer that I couldn't speak for dozens of minutes.

Dao Ji accompanied me in silence.

(c)

I was finally able to speak.

As I spoke, tears began to flow down my face.

I said, "Jingyun has known for a long time, my aunt has known it, my father and uncle have known it, and even King Han has known it." It turned out that I was the only one who didn't know anything. ”

I said, "Why do I always know everything later in my life than anyone else?" ”

I said, "Why is he hiding it from me so tightly that he doesn't let me know anything!" ”

"He doesn't want you to be sad, and he doesn't want you to give your life for him," Daoji said. ”

"He knows that if you understand this, you will never agree to leave him," said Daoji. You must be determined to be his widow and to keep it for him all the days of your life. For the sake of your happiness, he would rather you misunderstand that he betrayed his oath, that he abandoned you, that he used you in exchange for military-political benefits. ”

I said, "He'd rather I misunderstand him!" He'd rather I do that to him! ”

I was overwhelmed with grief and remorse, saying, "How could I do that to him?" How can I let him go out after Jin Fengzhai returns to the house, kneel in the room and cry bitterly so that he can hear, how can I throw back the sleeve arrow he gave me, how can I be angry and not take the initiative to talk to him in the last days of Jin Feng Zhai's last days together, how can I come to Yunjing, and cut off his audio for so many days, and a word of comfort and warmth has not been passed on to him! ”

I said, "How can I do this to him on his hardest days!" ”

I choked on the sourness that poured up. I choked on the sourness that kept coming up.