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1. I heard the story of the girls' dormitory, saying that there was an unmarried girl of twenty-seven or eighteen who called home in the middle of the night to report the good news, saying that there was a young man who asked her to go out to eat now, and her parents repeatedly told her to accompany the young man to drink more, and try not to go back if she can open the room...... All I can say is......

2.

When I came home from work at night, somehow, my daughter-in-law suddenly got angry, and I ate very little dinner, and I apologized and coaxed to no avail, and I slept with my back to me and stayed away from me, I thought about it, just sleep quietly. I heard crying in the middle of the night, and woke up to find my daughter-in-law crying very loudly, thinking that something was wrong, how much grievance I had to suffer, so I quickly hugged and comforted what was wrong, and my daughter-in-law said why she was angry, because she had dinner first at noon, and I came back with a shredded chicken! She can't eat it!! The sky is thundering!!

3.

Wife: "Husband, will you think I have small breasts?"

Husband: "No, if you want to touch the A cup, it's ****." If you want to touch the C cup, you can touch the butt, and if you want to touch the E cup, you can touch the belly."

Wife: "Get out of ......"

4.

The experience of looking ugly, I'm in a group. The landlord's daughter, studying science - when I was in college, there were a total of 8 girls in our class, and the boys in this class called us Dragon Ball, and I couldn't understand why there was one less after hearing about it, until someone told me later: it was seven dinosaurs and a pig who was drunk

6.

I went to a friend's house to play today, my friend was getting married, the man and the matchmaker were talking about how much the bride price was, and his girlfriend was also present, and the matchmaker said that the woman wanted 180,000. I said silently, okay, the price is reasonable. Three packs? Why is everyone looking at me

7.

I remember that on Women's Day, my son took a bouquet of golden rape flowers. Holding my hand, he said:

Mom, I don't have money to buy flowers for the holidays today, so I can only pick some rape flowers from my own house...... Me: It's okay, as long as the mother you send it likes her son: No, Mom, I'm going to give it to Sister Dandan, what are you doing. You see it's all broken......

I......

8.

A colleague in the company takes a fancy to a new girl, and buys breakfast every morning and sends it to the sister's door reads();! A month later, he knelt down on one knee at the door of the company with flowers in his hand and said to his sister, "xx, I love you, be my girlfriend!" "Everyone in the company is heckling! At this time, the girl came to say, "Who are you?" And then the guy resigned!

9.

There are two babies in the family, Niuniu is the birthday of the first month, and the son is June. The background is explained...... So I want to celebrate my daughter's birthday first, and my son finally broke out after two years of endurance! Just this year, when he was cutting the cake for his daughter, his son suddenly shouted angrily: Why do you celebrate your sister's birthday first every time? Then call her brother and call me sister! No matter how you explain it, the whole family laughed speechlessly. My big baby, I don't know if you'll think you're ridiculous when you grow up

10.

An African foreigner rented my house. My sister and I wanted to go with my dad to have a look, but the foreigner was shy and kept standing silently by the door. My sister and I have been talking about how dark foreigners are (but no malice), and when Dad came, I asked, Dad, how do you communicate with people if you don't know English? ...... "What's that, people Chinese talk more than you!" ”…… The whole person is not good......!

11.

The sound insulation of the house is not good, especially in the dead of night, the sound of the upstairs is very clear, and the wife will always count her husband at this time: "Look at how capable people are, each time it takes twenty or thirty minutes, and you will finish it in a few minutes each time." You can't be a little more productive, more than him once! ”

The husband with a strong self-esteem feels that he has been insulted. So decided to prove his ability to bullwhip every day. Deer antlers, leeks, and cordyceps were all kinds of supplements, and finally one day he gave the woman upstairs when the man upstairs was not at home......

12.

My husband always likes to talk in his dreams when he sleeps, and I don't know who I quarrel with in a dream, and I scold your uncle, I reply in seconds, your uncle, my husband replies, I reply again, back and forth three times, and my husband says, okay, it's my uncle. Laughed and smoked...... 13.

A few friends opened a room to fry the golden flower, some friends said that his friends also came to play, a little handsome guy came after a while, short broken hair, small yellow hair, smoking during the play, chewing betel nut, drinking Red Bull, lost seven or eight thousand noodles in two hours without changing color and left, everyone said that this guy has a good brand, and the friend who brought him came to say that it was a girl, I wiped, six or seven did not see that it was a girl, the key is that the girl's voice is neutral, the chest is not at all, and the bra is omitted without it...... It's not a woman, it's a tomboy......

14.

with your daughter-in-law, I asked above, wife, do you want to be fast or long? The wife yawned: "It's okay, you can play!"

16.

I got up hungry in the middle of the night to make egg fried rice to the pot and forehead...... It seems that I don't know how to cook, so I asked in the group whether to put eggs or rice first to make egg fried rice...... Some say put the eggs first, and some say put the eggs first. But why didn't anyone tell me to put oil first? The pan is all fried

17.

Two female colleagues were chatting there, and one said: Eh, my man is getting useless day by day, I want to leave!

Another: Sister, let me tell you, men are like mobile phone batteries, at the beginning it is especially good to make the continuity strong, explosive enough, after a period of use, of course it will not be good! Sister has changed the "battery" twice, the result is not as good as once, it is recommended that you occasionally borrow the "battery" experience can, don't be impulsive, the original battery is the best, cherish to make him make reads();!

Admire!! I reached out and touched my No. 7 battery, and I thought she was really right!

18.

In the evening, when I was a little hungry, I went out for supper. As a result, I just ate it for a while,

An aunt came over and asked me sneakily, "Do you want a girl?" Gratuitous! ”。

I was excited and thought to myself.

I said you can get me one right away. After a while, the aunt brought a plate of duck heads......

19.

A female colleague with big breasts at work, when she is free from work, she goes to the front to make a look of her breasts, and every time she says come on, you try! One day, I finally couldn't help but grab a big wave with both hands, and then ...... Anyway, I'm going to do her laundry......

20.

Today I went to work and took the bus, there was no seat, and I stood next to a small couple. The woman wore a ****** and her body was hot enough. The woman said to the man: Husband, I am in a hurry to go out today and I am not wearing underwear. When LZ heard this, he immediately threw a yuan on the ground, and when he was about to pick it up, an old man in the seat next to him grabbed me: Young man, you sit, I'll help you pick it up. I wiped it......

21. A certain god of wine, drinking until late at night and riding home, driving to the community to drink... Turn left and right in the community and you can't find your own building, find someone to ask, it can be a late night pedestrian sparse, at this time I saw a person looking not far away... Ask the uncle... How to get to the building... Before he finished speaking, he snapped and felt that his face was on fire... At this time, I heard the other party say who your uncle is... I'm ****** your wife...!

22. The manager of the company came to my jurisdiction on a business trip, one day to visit customers to very tired, after dinner in the evening, I asked if I want to take a bath or something, the manager said no, hard work to go back to rest early, I thought about going to the network to go to the network myself, this just went to the club to meet the manager who was checking out......

23.

A colleague has been secretly in love with the goddess of the company, and finally made sense that the fat girl she slept with stole the goddess's underwear, and the roommate slept with her face covered every night, and at a company party, the fat girl drank too much paper and said to me: Actually, the panties are mine

24. This morning I made breakfast and asked my son to eat, and my son came to the kitchen and asked me, "Dad, where is my mother?" I replied: I didn't get out of bed. Your mom said she wouldn't get up until eight o'clock. The son proudly said: I have a way to get my mother out of bed. Then the son turned to the bedroom and shouted: Mom, come on, Dad is hiding money behind your back again. In less than a minute, my wife rushed out of the room in her pajamas, slippers and brooms. the groove. It's a trick to be beaten

25. After work today, I followed two female colleagues and heard them say that so-and-so spent hundreds of dollars to buy underwear, I really don't know why they are all worn, why buy so expensive, I heard it in the back, and I heard it in the back. The eyes of those two girls, I'm going to go, the girls listen to me explain that what I said is not a force and the b you think is not a force, my life of wisdom is all ruined

26. It's too late at night to go home and stay in a hotel, the room has the number of the rest center, and I'm going to call a sister paper for leisure, open the door and find that it is a female colleague of the company, which refreshes my world view!

The anti-piracy version you see now, please watch it after 19 o'clock for the genuine version, and it is also updated at 19 o'clock before the anti-piracy version, so it should have no impact on you. Read it in advance, just take a look at the encyclopedia of troubles, I'm the warmest anti-piracy author. (To be continued.) )