[[[CP|W:28|H:30|A:R|U:http://file2.biquge.info/chapters/20137/23/2650170635101889931917509395333.jpg]]]] Tianzigang (Journey to the West)

Author: Xiao Zhai, Xiao enlisted

Chapter 2: Chen Xuanzang's Book of Secrets: Flying Pigeon Stone Tibetan Heavenly Book

The first section of Hanqing humor is passed on from the past to the present

It is said that when Chang'e returned from Meitang, she first reported to the East China Sea Guanyin Bodhisattva Xiangzhi that the Tang monks and apprentices were relaxing in the Tianzigang area of Meitang and preparing holy relics for the Tianzigang Dragon Vein Holy Land.

"'Envoy of the Beauty God', do you first say that Chen Xuanzang led his disciples Sun Wukong, Zhu Wuneng, Sha Wujing and Bailongma to raise holy relics for the Dragon Vein Holy Land of Tianzigang, or first tell the story of love between you and Marshal Pig (Bajie)!" Guanyin Bodhisattva smiled and looked into Chang'e's eyes and said.

"Okay, let me first tell the story of Marshal Pig (Bajie)'s love!" Chang'e used her unique sweet mezzo-soprano to tell Guanyin Bodhisattva about Zhu Bajie's two unhappy marriages、、、、、、

"Alright. ' 'Envoy of the God of Beauty', your 'history of finding that feeling' with Bajie will come to an end today. Now you can talk about Chen Xuanzang and his disciples Sun Wukong, Zhu Wuneng, Sha Wujing and Bailongma to raise holy relics for the Dragon Vein Holy Land of Tianzigang! Avalokiteshvara said.

"Alright! I'll just say them one by one. Chang'e took a sip of tea, cleared her throat, and spoke beautifully.

"Bodhisattva, Chen Xuanzang took the opportunity of Meitang's leisure this time, mainly to write the 'true and false' two copies of the Heavenly Book secret book, and handed over the holy relics collected by the disciples to Xiao (Xiao) Hanqing, the presiding officer of Meitang Nunnery."

"Is Xiao (Xiao) Hanqing, the host of the nunnery, a man or a woman?" Avalokiteshvara asked.

"It's a middle-aged man in his 50s." Chang'e said with her eyebrows fluttering.

"In the mortal realm, the place where Buddhism is located is called a temple; The location of Taoism is called the view; The place where the nuns live is called the nunnery! How is the nunnery in Meitang presided over by men. Avalokiteshvara asked.

"I didn't figure it out, I didn't think about it at the time. Maybe Meitang Antang was originally a young, beautiful, beautiful and fashionable hostess like me, who did not cross the 'love network' level when she was practicing, and openly recruited Xiao (Xiao) Hanqing, a beautiful man, as the 'pressure nunnery husband'; There is also a possibility that the hostess of Meitang Nunnery went out and temporarily entrusted the affairs of the nunnery to her 'husband of the nunnery' - Xiao (Han) Hanqing. Chang'e analyzed with a fluttering eyebrow.

"You think beautiful women are as coquettish and amorous as you? The beauties who can be the host of the nunnery usually pass the love gateway. Maybe it was the hostess of the Meitang Nunnery who went out for cultivation and temporarily entrusted the affairs of the Nunnery to her relatives. Xiao (Xiao) Hanqing may be the brother of the hostess surnamed Xiao of Meitang Nunnery! Avalokiteshvara said.

"Actually, I haven't met Xiao (Xiao) Hanqing either. It's just that according to your will, ask Wukong and Bajie to hand over the holy relics to the master, and the master will hand them over to Xiao (Han) Hanqing. I heard that this Xiao (Han) Hanqing is a famous local talent. He is the author of "The Shaw Family Tree", "The Law of Three Characters", and many humorous stories. Chang'e presented the books and materials she had brought with her to Guanyin.

Guanyin Bodhisattva watched the humorous story of Xiao (Han) Hanqing, and listened to Chang'e's report on the story of Chen Xuanzang's two copies of "Book from Heaven" left to Xiao (Han) Hanqing!

The following are excerpts from three humorous stories by Xiao (Han) Hanqing.

(1) Weng's son-in-law eats chicken

Once upon a time, there was an old couple in the countryside who gave birth to twin daughters. The eldest daughter married a Xiucai, and the younger daughter married a farmer. The old man usually prefers to show talents, and looks down on farmers a little. Once, the two sons-in-law congratulated their father-in-law on his birthday. The mother-in-law killed a big rooster, stewed it and brought it to the table, and told them to drink wine and eat chicken first. Before drinking, the old man proposed: "Today, you two will name each part of the chicken, and whoever chooses the best name will eat the chicken." After speaking, the old man picked up the head of the chicken with chopsticks. The farmer said; "Chicken Head". Xiucai said: "Phoenix head". The old man said: Okay! The "phoenix head" is yours. Then, the old man picked up a chicken wing with chopsticks. The farmer said; "Chicken wings". Xiucai said: "Fly with two wings". The old man said: Okay! "Flying with two wings" is yours. Then, the old man picked up a chicken thigh with chopsticks. The farmer said; "Chicken thighs". Xiucai said: "Nail the steel hammer". The old man said: Okay! The "hammer" is yours. Then, the old man picked up a piece of chicken breast with chopsticks. The farmer said; "Chicken breast". Xiucai said: "It's really delicious." The old man said: Okay! "It's delicious" is yours. The farmer's son-in-law can only eat the leftover chicken necks and feet.

After lunch, the two sons-in-law had to go to the mountainous area ten miles away to collect firewood for the old man to prepare for the winter. The farmer's son-in-law quickly picked up two bundles of dry firewood and carried them back to his father-in-law's house. Xiucai's son-in-law didn't know about fruit trees and chopping firewood, so he mistakenly pulled out the walnut saplings planted by the mountain people as dry firewood. A few young people among the mountain people caught Xiucai and indiscriminately beat him up, and then demanded compensation from him. The old man saw that the farmer's son-in-law had come back for a long time, but there was no trace of the talented son-in-law, so he asked the little son-in-law: Why hasn't your brother-in-law come back yet?

The farmer's son-in-law said, "Brother-in-law, he has grown big today." He plucked the walnut saplings as dry firewood. After several mountain people found out, they first grabbed his "phoenix head" hair; Then he dragged his "two wings to fly" - two hands; Then, they each wheeled the "nail hammer", and now the brother-in-law is tasting the taste of "really delicious"!

(2) Put less

Hunan people are not afraid of spicy peppers and are world-famous. The Hunan master opened a rice noodle restaurant from the south to the northern QQ city. There aren't many northerners who eat chili peppers. In order to take care of the taste of the "villagers", the Hunan chef pre-processed some dried chili noodles and packed them in glass jars to serve Hunan customers.

One weekend at noon, four Hunanese-speaking customers came to the lobby, they sat at the same table, and one of them ordered four bowls of seafood rice noodles. When the waiter, Xiao Wang, brought the rice noodles to the table, they offered to add some chili noodles. Xiao Wang took the glass jar of dried chili noodles that the master usually kept in his hand, and used a spoon to add dried chili noodles for them. The first customer added a spoonful and said, "Okay; The second customer added two spoonfuls and said, "Okay; The third customer added three spoonfuls before saying, "Okay." When Xiao Wang added a spoonful to the fourth customer, he heard the customer say: "Less", and Xiao Wang quickly added a second spoon to the customer. But the customer still says, "Less". Xiao Wang added the third spoon faster than the second spoon. But the customer still says, "Less". Xiao Wang thought to himself, this Hunan man can really eat chili peppers. She saw that there were still five or six tablespoons of chili noodles left in the glass jar, and at once she poured them all into the customer's rice noodle bowl. At this time, I only heard the customer say loudly: "Less, less, less put!" ”。

(3) Three sons-in-law divide pigs

Once upon a time, there was an old couple in the village who gave birth to three daughters. The eldest daughter married a showman; The second daughter married a scholar, and the third daughter married a farmer. The old man usually prefers talents and scholars, and looks down on farmers a little. In the autumn of that year, only two of the eight piglets under an old sow raised by the old couple were fat, fat, and very valuable. One day, the old couple summoned their three daughters and three sons-in-law back and wanted to divide the two piglets among the two sons-in-law. In order to appear fair, the old man asked each family to say a very philosophical word. The eldest son-in-law thought for a while and said, "There are many long beaches in the river. I'll catch one of the little piglets first." The second son-in-law thought for a while and said, "The road is long and curved. I'll take one of the little piglets, too." The third son-in-law didn't say it after thinking about it for a long time, and then he saw that the little piglet was gone, so he didn't want to say it. At this time, the third daughter stood up, and she said, "How long is the boar; The sow has many offspring. Without the little piglets, I catch the sow mother-in-law,"

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"In this way, on your trip to Meitang, you only saw the marshal's brother Zhu Wuneng!" Guanyin Bodhisattva said with a smile.

"Bodhisattva, say that I only saw the marshal alone, and I was only wronged! On this trip to Meitang, although I did not meet the marshal's master and the presiding officer of the nunnery, Xiao (Xiao) Hanqing, etc., in addition to meeting the marshal, I also met another god. Chang'e paused at this point.

"It's either Wukong or Wujing! You dare to play dumb riddles to me now! Look at me in the future, complain about your future lover, brother, and clean up your elf of the 'Beauty God Envoy'! Guanyin Bodhisattva still said with a smile.

"I didn't want Chen Xuanzang and his disciples Sun Wukong, Zhu Wuneng and Sha Wujing to know the auspicious details of my trip to Meitang. I'm the marshal of the makeup village girl. It's Wukong, which monkey spirit has seen through my true body in the sky. Chang'e spoke softly. Then, Chang'e introduced to Guanyin Bodhisattva Xiang the process of Chen Xuanzang's two copies of the Heavenly Book of Secret Books handed over to Xiao (Xiao) Hanqing, the presiding officer of Meitang Nunnery.

Read on to find out what happens next、、、、、、