Right now, I'm in a hospital bed, and the worst thing is not being able to breathe, not any pain.

The most ordinary breath that I have never noticed is unbearable!

It's doubly uncomfortable. First, I could barely breathe, my chest hurt so much that it looked like a mouse was biting in my stomach. Second, the lack of oxygen made me feel like I was suffocating in a deep well.

But I couldn't move at all, it was like falling into a nightmare.

How I want to get this over and let it only exist in my memories.

I remembered what my father used to scold me.

When he scolds me, I always think, "Okay, okay, he scolds me now, and he can't scold me forever, the future will be fine." Just think about something else now, and it won't be long before you reach the future. ”

I remembered Zhao Dazhuang beating me again.

When he beats me, I always think, "Okay, okay, he hits me now, he can't beat me forever, the future will be fine." Just think about something else now, and it won't be long before you reach the future. ”

At that time, I would think that I was going to leave this place forever and return to my hometown in all my glory and show off to everyone.

At my wedding to Zhao Xingyue, our children circled around us...... Wait, something seems wrong...... It was like a dream of mine.

Yes, definitely in a dream.

I moved from memories to dreaming.

It's ridiculous.

-

-

The walls are constantly moving.

I saw the walls moving.

Obviously, the wall doesn't move, it just moves in my eyes and in my head.

On the edge of the bed, Dongfang Yongde said to me: "All this is fake. You're so smart, you must know, right? ”

Dongfang Yongde looked at me covered in blood. His neck was covered in blood, his glasses were covered in blood, and his nose, ears, and mouth were ......

There was blood on the walls and ceiling, dripping and dripping, just like the rain leaking from my public toilet.

Dongfang Yongde walked beside me, making the sound of a knife cutting flesh, as if cutting my heart.

Dongfang Yongde looked at me like this.

I couldn't see his eyes clearly. If his eyes are confused, it is the original Dongfang Yongde, because he is stupid; If his eyes are clear, it is the awakened Dongfang Yongde - but is the awakened Dongfang Yongde still the Dongfang Yongde? Dongfang Yongde's name, body, experience, and memories are not important, he is just a spokesman for "foolish loyalty" in my memory, which is his essence. Therefore, an oriental Yongde with clear eyes is not an oriental Yongde at all.

The two palace maids and the two eunuchs looked at me, Zhao Pumin also looked at me, and Dongfang Yongde also looked at me. There are six of them, five are real and one is fake.

It's fun.

-

-

I asked Zhao Pumin: "Have you taken anesthetic?" ”

Zhao Pumin: "Well, anesthetics, sedatives, painkillers...... Some of them were smuggled from Sichuan, and some of them were made according to the book. ”

Me: "I've been sleepy, did you do that?" ”

Zhao Pumin: "That's right. If you have less medicine, you will die of pain, and if you have more medicine, you will die of sleep. Wake up a few hours a day, just right. ”

I said, "I...... A bit of a hallucination...... And auditory hallucinations...... And hallucinations......"

Zhao Pumin: "Normal...... You don't have enough oxygen and blood supply, plus this medicine...... These are all normal. ”

Another group of people came out of the wall, smiling at me.

Zhao Pumin: "Since you know it's surround eyes and auditory hallucinations, ignore them." I can't keep you asleep forever so you might not wake up. I think you should be fine, so smart that you should know which ones are true and which ones are fake. ”

The people on the walls and roofs smiled at me and waved at me.

I smiled at them too—I didn't want to laugh, but I couldn't help it, just as if you saw someone yawning and you couldn't help yawning.

Zhao Pumin: "Don't pay attention to them, they are all fake." You have to be sober! There are many people who are not sick and die, but scared to death! ”

-

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When I was a child, I had a neighbor who was herding cattle and was bulled by a cow one day, and when he was dying, his head was hot and he was talking nonsense, saying that he saw countless ghosts flying on the walls, his father and mother, his grandparents, his emperor and queen, and even bulls and horses, and heavenly soldiers.

Some people say, fake, he's scaring people; Some people say, really, because there really are ghosts in the world.

I said, "It doesn't matter if it's true or not, because you don't know anything." He did, because it was his vision, and he really thought he did. In his eyes, we are as real as those ghosts. Although, in fact, ghosts do not exist. Those who don't believe in the existence of ghosts, if a god suddenly appears in front of you, do you still believe that ghosts don't exist? I dare say that if God appeared before my eyes, I would not believe Him, because I knew that it was my hallucination and God did not appear before my eyes. Even if God were as real as you are, with a sense of hearing, sight, touch, smell, and taste, I would deny Him. But you won't. ”

……

By this nonsense now, I mean, I didn't believe in ghosts and gods for a long time, and I don't believe in them now.

Now, I saw the bloody Dongfang Yongde against my face, I saw the dry Zao Wou-Ki standing in front of me, I saw countless ghosts, others killed, I killed, I had no intention of killing, and even the dead in the underground world...... But I don't recognize them.

I smelled the sweetness of blood, I heard the cry of misery, my hot face was touched by their cold hands, and even then, I did not admit their existence.

I'm proud that I just don't recognize this "reality".

Zhao Xingyue, who was showing off her flowers, stood naked in front of me. Our children stood next to her, looking exactly like me.

Emperor Zhu Zhaotian of the Ming Dynasty had a white beard and looked at me suspiciously. Empress Zhao Yishu stood beside him with two twin princesses, the four of them were so beautiful, so divine, not like mortals at all.

Dongfang Yongde looked at me covered in blood.

Zao Wou-Ki looked like he wanted to say nothing to me.

……

Yes, I don't recognize them.

Because they are fake.

-

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What is true and what is false?

Seeing is not necessarily true, seeing is not true, seeing is not true, seeing must not be true.

All we see is very little reflected light. When a person stands in front of him, he emits and scatters countless substances, one in a hundred million of which are accepted by our eyes, and the matter is converted into signals, transmitted to the brain, and after the classification of the brain, after the education of others, everything is unrecognizable.

"A man stands before our eyes", but no one knows "a man stands before our eyes", so there is no "a man stands before our eyes".

"The world is material", but no one knows that "the world is material", so there is no "world is material".

It's as if the old woman in the east of the village longs for what she will eat in the morning if she becomes a queen - but she will never be a queen.

For example, I clearly saw Dongfang Yongde next to the bed. If there really is Dongfang Yongde, his visible light enters my eyes, so that the eyes give a signal to the brain - "Dongfang Yongde is coming"; If Dongfang Yongde is fake, and somehow, maybe it's a drug or maybe it's an injury, there is still a signal in my brain - "Dongfang Yongde is coming". The signals are exactly the same, excuse me, the same electronic signal, how do I know if Dongfang Yongde will come to my bed?

Therefore, there must be logic.

I killed Dongfang Yongde. In my memory, I was forced to kill him. I slit his throat and threw his body into the Royal Prison. I also deceived Dongfang Mingyue and pretended to be looking for Dongfang Yongde for several months.

It is impossible for the dead to be resurrected. I've seen earthworms cut in half and grow into two earthworms, I've seen fish frozen for years and still alive, but I've never seen a dead person come back to life.

Dongfang Yongde is human.

Dongfang Yongde is dead.

Therefore, it is impossible for me to see Dongfang Yongde standing in front of my bed.

Therefore, Dongfang Yongde, who stood in front of my bed, must not exist.

I said to Dongfang Yongde, who was standing in front of my bed, "You are only my feeling, and yet you do not exist!" ”

Dongfang Yongde disappeared, as if it had never existed.

I smirked, letting out a hoarse laugh.