The day after I turned twenty, I had breakfast at my dog's house.

A large family is crowded into a table, and they can't squeeze it open.

Looking left and right, everything is normal, nothing is abnormal. Gou Buli kept putting the duck in the water for me, saying, "Brother Niu, this is delicious." ”

I didn't even dare look at her.

She suddenly asked, "What were you doing last night?" ”

Time stood still. Seems to hear mosquitoes buzzing.

Me: "I didn't do anything. ”

Uncle Wuji: "Go out to see the moon again." ”

The dog ignored: "Ah, I went out to look at it again, I don't even know...... I'm not talking about the evening, it's the evening, and my brother is talking so happily that you won't come to dinner. ”

Fear ......

Me: "We discussed going to the provincial capital to join the scholars. ”

Gou Buli: "What refuge?" ”

Me: "Gentleman." is like Zhao Arong, the pork Rong we have always seen, the pork Rong who walks around the village every day. Do you know why he has disappeared in the last year? I went to the provincial capital to join the Shi. ”

Gou ignored: "He went to be a eunuch?" ”

Me: "Hmm. ”

Aunt Zhao pouted: "Shame on the dead!" What is wrong with the children of the village chief's family, go to be a dead eunuch! What does Zhao Sanye think? Let his son be a eunuch. ”

Uncle Wuji: "What do you know?" ”

Aunt Zhao: "You know! What do you know? ”

Uncle Wuji glanced at her.

Gou ignored the little brother next to him, Gouleg, a little boy of six or seven years old, and said, "Sister, what is a eunuch?" ”

The dog ignored him and said, "This ...... What do you want to do? ”

The dog bit his fingers, thought for a while, and said, "Well, I'll do it too." ”

The dog ignored and smiled and asked, "Why do you want to do it?" ”

Dogleg scratched his head: "Hmm...... What's this...... Nice name. What does a eunuch do? ”

The dog ignored and laughed: "Haha." The eunuch is the one who cuts the cock, and you cut it too? ”

Dogleg was shocked, covered his crotch and said, "I don't want it, I don't want it." ”

Me: "Which official is not like this?" No pain, no gain. ”

The dog ignored me and said, "Then you should also be a eunuch!" ”

Me: "Do you think anyone can do it if they want to?" No one wants to do it. ”

She laughed.

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In the morning, I was bored wandering around the village with my dog leftovers, and met Zhao Dakuo, the eldest son of Zhao Erle, a dairy farmer in the village.

Zhao Dakuo's family is a dairy farmer, and we are a Baojia. Dairy households are considered to be relatively good household registrations - as the name suggests, they are household registrations that specialize in raising dairy cows.

Zhao Erle's yard and dairy farm occupy a large part of the village.

The dairy farm was wide, but it was smelly and dirty, with dozens of fat and thin cows huddled together, with a broken grass shed on top and mud on the ground.

But his home is quite spacious, with white tiles and red walls, and a deeply walled compound, second only to the landlord's house in our village.

Zhao Dakuo looks silly, although we often play together, we have teased him a lot since we were young.

I remember one time, when we were less than ten years old, a group of us children caught more than a dozen small fish from a puddle in the west of the village, and said to Zhao Dakuo: "You see we caught goldfish!" Come and trade it with us, a goldfish for a bowl of milk! ”

I pointed to the little grass carp in the basin and said, "Look, goldfish." Looking at this little tail, small eyes, and small body, this is the best goldfish. ”

Zhao Dakuo's eyes widened enviously: "Yes." ”

So we went to his house to get milk. We changed the fish for milk, and then secretly stole the fish that was given to him, changed it again, and finally drank it with a round belly. And he continued to take out the milk, saying, "Drink, drink." ”

He also deliberately took out the cheese and gave it to the dogs to ignore. He smirked and said to her, "Sister Xiaoyue, you taste it, my mother made it." ”

I haven't even eaten it! Me: "I'm going to eat it too." ”

At this time, he became angry and pushed me: "You have no fish, go aside!" ”

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At this time, Zhao Dakuo in front of him was also 19 years old, stupidly tall and strong, half a head taller than me and the dog leftovers - it seems that the nutrition of milk is indeed very high.

When he saw the two of us, he ran over happily and shouted, "Brother Niu! Brother Dog! ”

I had to wave to him.

He only stared at the dog leftovers, and his attention was on the dog leftovers.

Zhao Dakuo: "Hey brother, how about the cheese I made myself?" ”

The dog leftover pouted: "It's sour and smelly!" ”

Zhao Dakuo: "That's right!" That's what cheese looks like, and you can't go wrong with making it for so many years. You know, a bucket of milk makes a small plate of cheese. ”

He continued: "I also made some dry cheese, you guys try it!" ”

He took out a small piece of white cheese from his broken pocket and handed it to me and the dog.

I want to say, "I don't eat it." ”

But I really didn't eat it, so I took it, put a piece of dried cheese in my mouth, and when I took a bite, it was sweet and sour, and it was very chewy.

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After we walked away, Gou Yu'er asked me, "What do you think of Zhao Dakuo?" ”

I said angrily, "me!"

Him: "Can you give me a reference to Zhao Dakuo as my brother-in-law?" ”

Me: "me." ”

Him: "It's up to you to decide whether you do it or not." Sometimes I really don't know if you're really stupid or fake, and I don't know what I'm thinking all day. ”

He exclaimed, "Open the window and speak brightly." You can wait, my sister can wait, but there is a limit to waiting, don't you? Yesterday was your twentieth birthday, and Satsuki is seventeen years old, when are you going to wait? I just want to know what you want to do now? ”

I just said to myself, "I don't know." I don't know what to say, I don't know what to do, I don't know what I'm doing. ”

Him: "You're just going to wait?" I thought you were awesome and awesome, but it turned out that you didn't practice fake tricks! ”

He paused for a moment and said, "...... like your father"

Time stood still for a long time, and he spoke again: "Think about Pork Rong, you used to teach him to read and write, and we always played tricks on him, but they have already gone to the provincial capital!" Luoyang! ”

Me: "Damn, can you compare people?" He is the son of the village chief and the landlord, and I am the son of a household! Can it be compared? ”

It was quiet for a long time.

Dog leftover: "Mother asked me to ask, ask you, when will you come to propose?" You can't let a girl's house go to your house to propose, right? ”

I looked into the distance and said, "Do you remember one time, we went to the county to play?" ”

Dog leftovers: "You're again!" ”

Me: "Let's go buy lamb skewers, five skewers per person." There is a small couple next to the mutton skewer stall, who sells cloth heads, and they are not open for a day, and they are also taxed by the officials. They exchanged the cloth for the lamb skewers, remembering, only one skewer, and they ate happily like that, and you took a bite and I took a bite, and they lovingly pushed and said, 'You eat, you eat.' ’……”

Dog leftover: "What do you want to say?" ”

Me: "Do you remember what I said?" ”

Dog leftover: "I don't even remember anything about the lamb skewers!" ”

Me: "At that time, I said, I will never live this kind of life, this kind of poor life, when will it end!" ”

Gou Yu'er was furious: "What are you doing? ”

Me: "I don't know. ”

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Wandering around the entrance of the village boringly, no one spoke.

I kicked the pebbles as I walked, kicking hard!

The pebbles rolled on the dusty village road and tumbled into the small temple at the entrance of the village. The small temple enshrines the emperor and Confucius, and every village in the Ming Dynasty has such a small temple.

Walk into the small temple.

The small temple is very small, and the ground is messy with broken red paper, a tribute case, an incense burner, two statues, and an incense box. There are a few paper copper dollars in the incense box; There are steamed buns on the tribute table, and there are red dots on the steamed buns; The incense burner was lit and had just been lit.

The Ming Emperor Zhu Zhaotian and the Holy Master Confucius actually look the same, they are distinguished by rags - the Ming Emperor Zhu Zhaotian is dressed in yellow, and the Holy Master Confucius is dressed in red, both of them are equally funny, with distinct and funny eyebrows, eyes, nostrils, and lips......

I grabbed the steamed bun and ate it, but it was a little hard, so I secreted some saliva and swallowed it. I'm a little hungry, so the steamed buns taste quite delicious.

Gou Yu'er was taken aback: "You dare to eat the tribute!" ”

Me: "Why can't you eat it?" ”

Him: "If you eat the tribute, your stomach will be broken!" ”

Me: "It's the same steamed bun, why is the tribute case poisonous?" ”

Him: "Because God has eaten it!" What God eats, mortals eat will spoil their stomachs! ”

As I ate, I said, "I don't believe it." ”

Him: "It's better to believe what you have than what you don't!" ”

Me: "You know a piece of! Let me tell you, in the past, the temple was dedicated to the holy woman and the son of God, so people called them 'gods'. Later, the imperial court replaced the Holy Maiden and the Son of God with the Emperor and Confucius - isn't this nonsense? In exchange for that, who blesses people? What kind of gods are the emperor and Confucius! ”

Dog Leftover: "How do you know?" Is it something you're thinking, or is it true? ”

Me: "Of course it's true. ”

Dog Leftover: "Where did you know?" ”

Me: "Ah...... Forgot...... But it's certainly true. ”

Dog leftover: "I know! You're talking nonsense! ”

Me: "No nonsense, it's the truth." Truth! ”

Dog leftover: "Truth fart!" You mean, how do you know? ”

Me: "I...... I can't remember where I read it for a while, but it's the truth. Because, that's my previous conclusion. I have used countless evidence and reasoning to prove this result before, but in the end, I don't remember the process, only the result. However, this result must be correct. ”

Dog leftover: "Don't mess around! There was a stupid boy in the neighboring village who touched the emperor's eyes, and he was blind! There was another man who kicked the master in the leg, and he immediately went lame. There is also a little girl, she steps on the red paper in the temple when she is fine. You know what? How can you step on the red paper, and if you step on it, a bowl of blood will drop - she will directly become a skeleton! ”

Me: "You show you!" ”

I went up and touched the heads of the emperor and Confucius, kicked them in the ass a few times, trampled every piece of red paper on the ground, and finally stepped on the incense box. There are a few paper copper dollars in the incense box, and a few copper dollars. Pick them up and you'll have enough for a bowl of ramen!

The dog leftover wants to pull me, but I'm brute, how can he pull me?

He was so anxious that his face turned red, and he looked out secretly, as if he was the one who was doing the crime. Him: "Are you crazy? ”

Me: "None of these puppets have a spirit!" I've foolishly believed them before, too, but they lied to me! These stupid woods! I swear: I will not believe anything in the future. ”

He looked at the messy little temple and said, "It's a big disaster, what can I do!" ”

Me: "Cold salad!" As long as no one finds out, it's not a trouble, don't you know this? What else to see, hurry up and run! ”

We ran away.

As it turned out, it was like that - as long as no one found out, it was not a trouble.

The old people in the village were so angry that they cursed loudly that the offender would not die well, but they never knew who did it, and we didn't do anything.