I went up the stairs and pushed open the door, and after three months of absence, my room was unusually clean and tidy. The warm air is filled with a faint aroma. The bed, the bookcase, and everything in the room were exactly the same as when I left. The only difference is that there is an extra pale blue futon next to the low table near the window.

When Chen Wei entered the room with a basin of water, I was staring at the futon in a daze. I wondered if he would be as homeless as me after he left Linzi.

Chen Yi put the basin in front of me, quickly walked to the wall and rolled up the slightly old futon: "I will move out tonight, don't worry, I haven't touched your things." ”

"Have you been living in the winery while I was away?" I asked.

"There is no wine in the caravan, and if you are used to drinking the wine you brew, you can't swallow the wine mixed with water in Xinjiang. I couldn't stay in the Jin Kingdom, so I rushed back before the year. I wanted to drink the tulip you brewed to keep the New Year, but I didn't expect you to go to the Qi country. ”

"I didn't make any tulip this fall." I took out the handkerchief from my bosom and dipped it in the water little by little.

"Well, I'll know when I get back. You weren't there at that time, and there was a shortage of people in the museum to guard the wine garden, so I moved in. There is no salary, and half a pot of floating liquor a day is only enough to satisfy hunger. Chen Wei took out a gray-black cloth belt from his arms, and in a few strokes, he tied the rolled futon into a burden that could be carried.

"You are used to drinking Asu's wine, and you can't find the wine that can be imported after leaving Linzi City, so you found the Fusu Pavilion, right?"

Chen Wei chuckled twice and did not deny it, I turned my back to him to wash away the tears on my face, and casually hung the wrung out handkerchief at the window: "Stay tonight!" I'll go and clean up the sandwich where the spices and the empty jar are kept. Now that the end of the year has passed, I don't drink tulip. There is also a small jar of my private collection of sorrowful incense in the wine cellar, if you don't think it tastes bitter, drink it with me tonight! ”

"How can I dislike it if I have wine to drink?" He smiled and picked up the rolled futon and strode to the door, "If you have a wound on your leg, just sit in the room, and I'll get the wine from you." ”

"Hidden in a straw pile in the northeast corner."

"Okay." Chen Wei nodded, turned around and opened the door but retracted the foot that he had stepped out of, "Ah Shi, why is the sorrowful incense so bitter?" ”

"Bitterness can suppress sorrow," I chuckled and lowered my head.

It was night, and Chen Yi accompanied me to drink the sorrowful incense cup by cup. He was a man who didn't speak most of the time, and even after drinking, he still spoke very little. The Zhao family is the new son, and the son is newly married to Di Nu, since he has arrived in Xinjiang City, it is impossible for him not to know such a big thing. But tonight, he didn't say a word about Zhao's words.

I drank and leaned against the window and looked at the moon in a daze, and Chen Wei sat beside me and drank a cup of sorrowful incense. He said, if you're a man, maybe I know how to comfort you. I swallowed the bitter wine in my mouth, turned around and smiled and snatched the ear cup from his hand: "Master Chen, don't drink it, I know you don't like to press the sorrowful incense." "He's a good man who doesn't speak well, and he doesn't know that what I'm really grateful for at the moment is his golden silence.

If, when Yinyue climbed up to the middle of the sky, there was no knock outside the bamboo door, I think Chen Wei must have heard my heartfelt thanks.

"Is anyone there?" A clear male voice broke the silence of the night.

When I heard this, I spilled the incense from my cup.

It's been a long time since I've heard this voice, and when his voice reached my ears through the bamboo door, I almost thought it was another intoxicating dream that would eventually wake up. For more than two hundred days and nights, my night will always be happier than the day, for it is only in dreams that I can see him again and feel his warmth unscrupulously. But tonight, he really appeared in my world, and I was painfully trying to wake up from this nightmare.

Shirtless came, and knocked on the door of the wine garden with his wife, who was as beautiful as the early sun of March.

Chen Wei opened the door for me, and I covered my mouth and secretly hid behind the window like a thief who could not see the light.

"Husband, the Zhu Yan of the Fusu Pavilion is really delicious. I'm going to buy five altars to take back, three altars for us to drink, and two more for the eldest sister and the king, okay? His bride was dressed in red, with a honey-colored face and a high nose, and her elegant words were still a little rusty, but unexpectedly added a bit of softness and delicate to her wild face.

Holding his wife's waist as if no one was around, he looked at her and smiled, laughing intoxicatingly, as if the beauty beside him was the source of all his joy at the moment, "Eldest sister doesn't like such sweet and greasy wine, if you like it, keep it for yourself!" Just after drinking, you can't go out of the house and ride fast horses, so be careful of falling off your horses. He tapped the tip of her nose as if he had touched my cold nose with his warm fingertips countless times.

In the past, if I was in front of people, I was never used to his unbridled intimacy. But his wife was happy, she clinged to his shoulder, and the smile on her cheeks seemed to be filled with honey, "Husband, you treat me so well, I will listen to you for everything" She looked up at Wuxian, Wuxian lowered her head and whispered in her ear twice, she buried her head in his arms in shame, like a homecoming milk swallow.

In the darkness, a crack suddenly opened in my heart. There was a crisp "click". I thought he would hear it, but when there is laughter, a man can't hear the sound of heartbreak.

Wuxian stroked Di Nu's long hair, looked at Chen Yi on the side with a smile, and said, Brother Chen is so Yaxing, he gave up the army of a thousand times and did not receive it, and left the three mining estates to live in the wine garden of this Fusu Pavilion. Why, could it be that there is still a goddess hidden in this wine garden, so that Brother Chen is so difficult to leave?

Outside the window, Chen replied with his sword, and I clasped my fingers on the lattice to hear their voices clearly. However, I couldn't hear anything. All I heard was the cracking of a heart, unstoppable, shattered all over the ground.

In June, the sun-like woman emptied my cellar in almost a quarter of an hour. When Chen Wei placed a box of cold jewels in front of me, I picked up the small black lacquer box with luodian embedded in it and smashed it against the wall.

"Why did he get married, why didn't he come to me, why did he believe my lies? He clearly knew that the person in my heart was him, he knew that I left for him, he clearly said that he had already married me, so he could not marry another bride, he was a liar, he was a big liar! I crouched on the ground and screamed loudly, and when the heart-rending words came out, I realized that I had such a deep grudge in my heart.

It turned out that what I had been looking forward to was that he was as unhappy as I was after the separation.

I threw myself on the ground and wept bitterly, perhaps because of the ruthlessness and happiness of the unsympathetic, or perhaps because of my own ugliness and hypocrisy.

Chen Wei still didn't know how to comfort me, he stood in front of me, watching me cry and sob. I don't remember when he left, just as I couldn't see the back of the shirtless when he left.

When I cried so much that I couldn't shed tears anymore, Chen Cheng came back. He put a palm-sized piece of broken sheepskin in my hand: "Ah Shi, this is the Danshu you sold yourself to, burn it and you will be free." In this life, you should always live for yourself once. ”

In this life, you should always live for yourself once. This sentence was like a curse-breaking secret word, and it lit a flame in my dark chest.

I struggled to get up from the ground and set fire to the Dan book with my name on it.

In the strange aroma of green smoke, I did not get the pleasure of freedom. The shackles that have been imprisoned on me have never been a broken sheepskin.

Love, I have too many feelings that I can't let go, so I can never be free.

Legend has it that in the land of Jingchu in the south, there is a vast and vast Daze named Yunmeng. Emperor Yan once planted thousands of forget-you-forget grass in Yunmengze, the fairy grass grows in March and withers in April, and you can forget your worries when you eat it. I think this time, I'm really going to Chu State.

I rode on the official road with yellow sand flying, and when I passed the old tree beside the road, I saw the drunken woman again. She waited for someone here, from the scorching heat to the snowy winter. Now, I'm going to take her away and take her where she wants to go. The person she was waiting for would not come, he had forgotten about her.

In the spring of the fortieth year of King Zhou, Chen Cheng and I traveled all the way west, and when we arrived in Xinjiangcheng, we saw the old man from afar, and then rode south to Yunmeng Daze.

On the day I met Si'er in Xinjiang, she sat in the compound given to Yu An by Zhao Ying, basking in the sun peacefully. Her hand gently caressed her high bulging lower abdomen, and the happy and satisfied smile on the corner of her mouth was more dazzling than the amethyst ear on her earlobe.

I was dressed in burlap and barefoot on the trunk of a tree outside the courtyard wall, staring at her secretly.

Twelve years, the years passed quietly at our fingertips, she found the person she loved, had her own children, and I spent twelve years losing myself, desperately trying to find myself.

For twelve years, she quietly stepped on a line and went straight to happiness. I drew a circle with a bang and finally went back to the starting point.

In the warm spring of March, Chen Wei built a small wooden house on the water for me in the reeds of Yunmengze, I no longer called him Chen Ye, he recognized me as a sister.

My taciturn brother only has three years of freedom, so he can't accompany me to spend his days in the smoke of Yunmengze. After the wooden house was built, Chen Wei left with his sword. After that, every two or three months, he would return to Yunmengze to stay with me for a few days. Sometimes he comes alone, and sometimes he leads a large group of noisy but cute rangers.

In order to camp, the men would build low straw huts in the reeds.

When they were building, they all split trees and tied grass, and they were in full swing and sweating. But every morning, when I opened the window, I would always see a group of bare-chested people holding the wine jar, lying in the field outside the grass hut and sleeping soundly.

There is no forgetfulness grass in Yunmengze, even if there are thousands of grasses and flowers here, there is no fairy grass that can forget worries. But I gradually realized that after living in this vast lake for a long time, I laughed more with these rangers, and my heart seemed to be much broader. My heart has become wider, and the sorrow that was stuffed in my heart can no longer occupy all of me. I found a corner in my heart and hid my worries. Someday, I wish I could forget that it existed.