The party was held on the 30th, all the tables and chairs in the auditorium were cleared before half past seven, and thousands of law students, young people who had not yet understood hypocrisy, were asked by the class organizations to stand there and watch the whole performance, from beginning to end, the atmosphere was warm.

At the time of the most boiling, I was backstage, not yet removing my makeup, quietly lifting the curtain and looking down, the beams of the spotlights suddenly came like silent waves. The spirits were average, and I was slightly dizzy.

But I don't want to get over it.

A sense of accomplishment. They were in my consciousness, like the bright light in front of me, and all other feelings were dimmed for a short time. That's what I've done. At this time, I felt like I could do anything.

After the end of the day, more than a dozen people from the student union and the two departments of literature and art propaganda of the college went to the "Jiayuan Garden" to enjoy the celebration banquet.

Everyone drank a lot, said a lot of words to each other, sang the praises of youth, and was so happy that the soul almost broke out of the body and fell out of shape.

Teacher Su is the only teacher here, she is not strong enough to drink, Qi Xiang and Luo Ting helped her replace many cups, she still drank too much, smiled, and hugged our daughters one by one in parting kindly: "What a good little girl, you are all like my daughter." "

He said to Qi Xiang in particular: "You child, you will work under me when you enter the school, and you are about to graduate, no matter how big you are in the future, come back and see more, ah." "

Everyone else coaxed: "Teacher Su is partial to Senior Brother Qi." "

Teacher Su said: "Hey, say I'm biased, one or two of you, half of your Senior Brother Qi, I, and your parents will be relieved." "

No one was upset with this, at least on the surface. Qi Xiang was smiling, Luo Ting looked at him, and the others surrounded Teacher Su. I slipped out.

The lobby was dimly lit, and the proprietress sat behind the counter bored.

"Hey." I walked over drunken and smiled at her.

She smiled back at me, but a little more reluctantly, "You guys, how much longer?" "

"Right now, right now." My mouth was dry: "Can I use the phone?" "

"Use it."

In December, I didn't turn on the air conditioner, it should be quite cold, but I was very hot. After a long waiting tone, the other party finally picked up:

"Hello?" His tone sounded like he was about to sleep, low, a little tired.

"Sibo."

"Zhuang Ning? What's up? "

"Si~Bo~"

"...... What happened to you? Drunk? Shen Sibo paused for a second or two, and then spoke with a fully awake voice.

"It's so good, I heard it as soon as I heard it." Language began to express its own opinions, and after starting from the source, it did not encounter any gatekeepers along the way.

"Where are you, out there?"

I smirked: "Hey~hey~"

Shen Sibo sounded really anxious: "Zhuang Ning, you are sober, where are you?" "

I love to make him anxious. This gentle man, occasionally slightly imperious, was to my young heart the honey made from poppies.

"Guess, guess."

"I don't guess, if you don't know, give the phone to any random person next to you."

"NO。"

"Zhuang Ning, you have never been like this, don't make trouble."

He wouldn't let me indulge a little, I'm only a teenager, and I'm in the prime of my life, is it too much?

"Okay, okay, I'm ......" I got carried away, my mind was foggy, and I remembered when I saw the proprietress staring at me: "Jiayuan Xiaoyuan." "

"Then you are there, don't move, I'll pick you up." Shen Sibo quickly finished speaking and hung up.

He told me to "not move", and I closed the phone in that tone, and I was about to laugh when I thought about it, and the proprietress said, "Little girl, are you okay?" "

"It's good, it's good." I almost wanted to reach out and pat the woman: "Happy New Year!" "

I sat on the road and waited for Shen Sibo. There is a wonderful beauty in the winter night, and the world you are facing is the kind of silence that completely fades down, empty into a silent expression, leaving no desire to say goodbye.

Alone, having drunk a little wine, in the midst of such a vast tranquility, I do not feel fear, nor do I feel tired, only a strong sense of presence and excitement, and I urgently need to share with others.

No matter how light my steps were, I tried to be reserved, but when the sound was still a few meters away, I turned around.

It wasn't him.

I looked at the people.

"Why are you still here?" He asked, "I'll send you back." "

"Oh no, thank you, Senior Brother Qi." I lazily replied, "I'm fine." "

He paused for two or three seconds, and the next action made me wonder why, he pulled out his wallet and pulled out two large bills.

I glared at him. He handed me the money:

"That amulet."

"...... What did Luo Ting tell you? "

He didn't speak, leaned over slightly and took my hand, and I retracted hard:

"I don't want it, and it's none of your business."

He looked a little impatient: "Take it." "

It's just that between pulling and pulling, a misleading situation has probably gradually formed. In short, Shen Sibo rushed over quickly, and Qi Xiang and I hadn't even noticed that he had already grabbed the latter and pulled him away from me:

"Stay away from her!"

I have never seen Shen Sibo so fierce, and when he got up, he saw that Qi Xiang's body had already reacted quickly - he reached out to control Shen Sibo, and his other hand was clenched into a fist. I hurriedly rushed over, put my hand on Shen Sibo's arm, and dragged him back.

At the same time, the knuckles of Qi Xiang will not be able to close in time, and will not rub against my hair. That force, a sharp gust of wind.

Shen Sibo suddenly grabbed my shoulder and tried to push it away, and I said hurriedly:

"It's okay, it's okay, this is my senior brother."

Then he turned his head to Qi Xiang and said, "Senior Brother Qi, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry." "

At this time, Qi Xiang had retreated, standing a meter away, his expression was a little unusual, ashamed, and self-control of this shame: "It's that I drank too much." I'm sorry. "

One night many years later, he lay beside me, brushed my curls open, and gently rubbed the small piece that he almost hit with his fingertips, you have to forgive me, Zhuang Ning. At that stage I was in a bad mood, I was irritated at any moment, and I had just drunk again. Yes, it's all an excuse, not a reason...... Anyway, you little girl can hold grudges - does it still hurt?

Qi Xiang turned around and walked away, leaving me and Shen Sibo, my hand still resting on his arm: "Whew, scare me." "

But he silently pulled his arm out, paused for a moment, and then leaned over to pick up the coat that had just been thrown on the ground in a hurry, patted it and handed it to me: "Isn't it cold?" Let's go. "

"Angry?"

He didn't look at me and turned his face away.

"Are you really angry?"

The more he was like this, the happier I became, and I wanted to hug him.

"Nothing, right?"

"If there is, it's too late." He said firmly.

"Whew." I laughed, sat down again, and tugged at the corner of his coat: "Sit with me for a while." "

Shen Sibo generally doesn't reject others, especially me. He looked at me and sat down:

"What are you, a scholar borrowing alcohol to kill his sorrows?"

I nodded: "No way, I'm out of love." "

Shen Sibo's expression was like hitting a glass head-on, and he stepped back slightly, his face full of over-the-top astonishment: "What kind of person has this courage?" "

You see, it's not good to be too familiar, and it's not easy to scare him.

"It's hard to say, how do you know if there isn't?"

"How did I not know?" His expression finally softened, and there was a familiar smile in his eyes: "Zhuang Ning, you say, what do you and I don't know?" "

The moonlight was like a living creature, silvery white, and it shook lightly in all directions. I leaned on Shen Sibo's shoulder and proudly described to him how I ran around and struggled to talk about the party, and how successful and popular the result was, even the dean praised us, and Mr. Su also encouraged me to run for vice president next year. Wait, wait.

He listened quietly and didn't speak, I talked and talked, and I ended up talking and sleepy.

"Don't sleep, wake up." Shen Sibo patted me: "It's frozen." "

I don't want to sleep either, twelve o'clock passes, this day is the last rose of the 20th century, and I want to see it bloom.

"What do you say, go back to the dormitory?"

"Can't go back. Auntie said, I'll report to the department if I return late. "

He thought for a moment: "Then do you have a class tomorrow?" We took a taxi home without classes. "

I felt that the keys were all in my bag, and I agreed, and was about to stand up when something suddenly came to mind.

"Hey, I'm stupid, I've forgotten about it for half a day." I took out a small gift box and put it in his hand: "For you." "

The sponsoring organization provides a small condolences to the student union, a brooch for girls and a tie for boys, which is not a particularly good brand, but it is also very good, and for students, size is a luxury.

When I got my hands on it, I swapped it with a male classmate, the light blue striped one, which matched Shen Sibo very well.

"You take it first, and I'll give you a better one later."

As long as I have it, I can give it to you. I didn't put this sentence into words, I just thought about it.

The corners of his mouth moved slightly, and he didn't say anything, he just said, "Thank you." "

That day, Shen Sibo and I took a taxi home late at night. At about half past two in the afternoon the next day, my mother was about to go to work when the phone rang, and my aunt called and said that my grandmother's blood pressure had gone up again.

I was reciting English words in my room at that time, and my mother pushed the door straight in:

"Xiao Ning, pack up and follow me to Licheng."

Licheng is very close to here, a small city, but it is quite refreshing and clean. My aunt drove to pick us up, and in the car, my mother said to my aunt, "Mom, why did your blood pressure rise again?" "

Before she opened her mouth, I silently thought in my heart, don't show any condemnation, isn't it annoying enough? I tried to deflect the topic: "I have a roommate who is from Licheng, and she ......"

My aunt didn't pick up my stubble: "Don't mention it, people are stubborn when they get old." I said I wanted to take a bath, and I said, I'll wash it for you after eating. She was fine, and went into the bathroom quietly, and washed the door for half an hour. The temperature was so high and we didn't eat, so we didn't see anyone looking for us until we had dinner...... Sister, can I be blamed for this? Isn't she looking for trouble for us juniors? "

"Do you think mom is in trouble? After the New Year, let her go to live with us. "

Well, the two sisters are forty or fifty years old, and they can't talk well. I could only turn on the Walkman and put on a posture of being a junior. Passing by Lihu Lake in the center of the city, I looked out through the glass window.

The visual effect of scenery is difficult to explain, some of them have not changed much, but they seem to be old, and they are inexplicably withered. It is rare that for so many years, Lihu Lake has not aged with time, and it still retains the clear and clear temperament in my young memories. I listened to the song and thought, one day, I will bring Shen Sibo over to watch.

Before coming to Licheng, I was somewhat astringent because I missed the end of this century with him, and Shen Sibo comforted me and said, "Why don't I call you, twelve o'clock." "

"It's decided? Then I'll wait for you. "

My grandmother was lying on the bed, unable to move, and when she moved, the world spun around, but she was very happy to see me, and she had a little smile on her face.

"Grandma." I sat down next to her: "Are you better?" "

"Okay--point--it's--" she replied weakly, like a fragile old bottle of porcelain, I couldn't touch her, and it would break if I touched it.

"Okay, Xiao Ning is here, you don't listen to others, you have to listen to Xiao Ning, right?" My aunt brought me the fruit: "Tell your grandmother that she has to take the medicine on time, don't be willful." "

I rubbed the back of her hand gently, old lady, why did she grow old like this?

When I was a child, she lived with us, and when I got older, my aunt was the librarian of Licheng Normal School, far more leisurely than my mother, so she moved here, but I have always been her most precious third generation. As soon as I spoke to her in a child's tone, she had no way at all, and that was the language system used when she held me in her hand when she was a child, and when her grandparents and grandchildren spoke words that could only be understood by each other, how sharp my teeth were, could not compare to this kind of illogical and undisciplined way, which made her particularly loving and disarmed.

"Grandma, you need to take medicine." I repeated to her in a baby voice: "Don't be willful." "

On her aging face, there was a little childlike shyness, the kind that made trouble for adults and resisted a little: "I know--"

"Really? You're going to be good. "

My grandmother's emotions clearly bypassed my disrespectful eyes, she was smiling contentedly, and my mother patted me from behind: "It's getting more and more unruly." Went wash your hands and eat. "

After eating, I looked through the photo album in front of my grandmother's bed, she was a beauty when she was young, a cold beauty, and her eyes were full of uncompromising little perverseness to the world. Later she met our grandfather, who died very young. How to survive today's gentleness and tranquility, we can't imagine the hardships she has endured.

"Look, it's better if you pass on a tenth of your beauty to me." I teased her: "Then which one I like, I will definitely win it in one fell swoop." "

When I said this, I was thinking of Shen Sibo, he has refused to be completely taken down by me for so many years, where can I find a little more chips?

Grandma smiled and patted my hand: "What a beautiful little girl." "

After a while, he asked, "Who does the little girl like?" "

"I'll show you another day." My grandmother became my little companion at this moment, and I said, "But don't tell my mother." "

Those who think that the southern winter is as warm as spring must not have worn a pair of cotton slippers without heels at midnight in December, stepped on the terrazzo floor, and draped a thin blanket over their pajamas.

If my mother woke up at this time, she would not understand what it was like for her daughter to disappear in the middle of the night.

There were no lights, but the night was thin, light, and still, with only the second hand and my teeth busy.

It doesn't work, I shook my nose, a cold is one thing, waiting for his phone call to wait for a cold, that's a matter of pride. I got up, poured myself a cup of hot water, took out two pills to eat, and sat back down, wrapping the blanket tightly.

..................

I don't know how long it took.

In the soft, comfortable darkness, a bell rang faintly, and the third or fourth came to an abrupt end, and the aftermath was quickly annihilated in the profound silence. For a few minutes, I was put under a sleepover spell and then suddenly woke up.

But the time had passed, the minute and hour hands were staggered, and far away, the sound of a firework was at the end of the day.

The next day, I really felt a cold, not too serious, and spoke like a young boy in the period of voice change.

"Don't talk to grandma." My mother told me, "She's old and her resistance is not good, so don't give her a chance." "

My aunt saw that I was bored, so she said, "Xiao Ning, I have to go to duty today, or you can go to read a book with me." "

The library of Licheng Normal School is not small, the law books are at the end of the third floor, I took out a copy of the Peking University edition of "The History of China's Legal System" from the bookshelf and walked to the reading area.

That petite figure, a soft temperament that can be touched from three meters away.

"Xie Duan? No way. "Although I knew that she was also from Licheng, I didn't expect it to be so coincidental, with hundreds of thousands of people in the urban area alone.

I stopped, went backwards and saw that the figure was disappearing into the stairwell opposite. The hollow-shaped corridor is closed on one side, and if you want to catch up with her, you have to run through the entire floor. I thought about it or just did it.

When I got back, my mom told me, "Sibo called you today." "

"Oh, I'll get back later." I'm not sure if those phone rings last night were hallucinations, did Shen Sibo forget about it, and called today to make up for it?

She added, "He even knows the phone here?" "

I look at my mother, she has been working as a woman for so many years, and when it is her daughter's turn, she is still like an ordinary mother, she wants to inquire but does not know where to ask.

"I told him." I thought about it for a moment and said to her directly, "Mom, don't you like him a lot?" "

My mom paused: "I didn't say he was bad - but my opinion is that you are still young and it is never too late to think about some things later. "

She looked at me and said in a rare soft voice, "How do you know that Sibo has the same mind as you?" You are a girl, you must not be reserved. "

"Where am I not reserved?" I was ashamed and annoyed when my mother commented like this: "Besides, what age is it?" "

"It's the same in any era." My mother stubbornly replied: "I see a lot of this kind of thing, women are too active, men don't take you seriously, and it's easy to have problems together." "

I didn't even get my mother's approval, and I was afraid that she would not be able to say a word if she spoke the truth. If you want to get something, you have to work hard, my life creed since I was a child, this is also problematic?

I was bored for the rest of the day, and I didn't dare to call Shen Sibo. During the meal, the aunt said:

"What's wrong with Xiao Ning? It's fine in the library during the day. "

I was afraid that my grandmother would be worried, so I quickly continued: "It's okay - I was thinking, I met my roommate in the library today, coincidentally, right?" "

"Really?" The aunt asked with interest, "What does she do at home?" "

"......" is ashamed, I have been in the same dormitory for most of the semester, and I basically don't know what the occupations of the roommates' families are: "It should be an intellectual, and her mother named her and quoted scriptures." "

"Oh? What is it called? "

"Duan, thank you."

"Thank you." The aunt stopped her chopsticks, and everyone at the table looked at her, and she said slowly, "I know." Lao Zhang, do you remember? "

Lao Zhang is my uncle: "Huh? "

"Li Yun, you also praised her for her very good temperament, forgot?" She glanced at him: "It's her daughter." "

"Hey." Uncle smiled: "Look at your careful eyes." "

"I'm not careful, she has a good temperament." My aunt turned to me: "You roommate, her mother is a music teacher at our school, the little girl must be very beautiful, right?" "

"Hmm."

"Her mother is, in her forties, with a ponytail, and some people still treat her as a college student when she walks."

"That's an exaggeration." The uncle continued: "How can there be such a thing, isn't this a monster?" "

"Don't be duplicitous, Lao Zhang." Auntie smiled: "However, she also confirmed a word, a thin face." "

I was curious: "What do you mean?" "

"Back then, in order to return to the city to marry a worker, she was old and coarse, she was high, the two of them had no feelings, and they always had disputes. I used to live in the dormitory of the unit, and I have seen it, and the movement, the person beat her like a thief, and others are embarrassed to listen to the scolding. She still wants to save face, and the next day she went to work with a bruised face and said that she was knocked, did she knock like that?

Her child was five or six years old at that time, and someone had nothing to tease her, what happened to your father and mother? The little girl was in tears, like a kitten, and she looked pitiful.

After a few years of construction in Licheng, ditches were being dug everywhere, construction, her husband, who was your roommate's father, drank too much in the middle of the night and went home, fell into the ditch and drowned, and everyone was swollen. It is not easy for Li Yun to raise a child alone, and he has not remarried for so many years. "

I was stunned, and I didn't even notice that my chopsticks had fallen to the ground.

Auntie continued to publish the conclusion: "So, you must be the right person to find someone, who has a common language, and followed this for the sake of profit, thinking that you can make do with it, but what is the result?" "

But my consciousness gradually drifted away, Xie Duan's thin back, clear and fragile eyes when she smiled, she told me that I had never left the house when I was so old - I suddenly felt sad.

The final exams are approaching, and this semester we have five compulsory courses, and the textbooks add up to thousands of pages.

God also gave me a good gift, a "Public International Law" with the lowest passing rate, and a date set for the day after my birthday. When I memorized "The Formation of International Habits" in the study hall, I didn't need to mention how much I gritted my teeth.

So on the night of my birthday, I only asked for a small cake with Shen Sibo in the dessert room, and he accompanied me back to the bedroom after eating.

I haven't seen him since New Year's Day, and when I want to look for him, I think about my mother's words, she is from here, and I can't help but consider this opinion.

Along the way, I secretly envied the men and women in those shadowy places, and I and him, in the clear breeze and moon, there was simply no room for people to relate.

When passing through the small square, a mysterious organization is showing the projection movie, "Love Returns to Paris", which gives a dose of love to men and women.

I hadn't slept well the day before, my eyes were swollen, and I couldn't wear invisibility, so I could only carry the glasses that Suma called "two cakes" in my bag.

It's been all the time, I still twisted my neck to look back, Shen Sibo asked, "Is it so good-looking?" "

No.

It's just that today is my eighteenth birthday.

In the past, I always felt that there would be fireworks in the sky on this day, bright and beautiful, and there were people who liked to hold hands and look at each other. I always feel that eighteen years old is old enough, and when I get old, everything must be solved, my troubles will return to dust, and love will inevitably come to a smooth path.

But the reality is that I have to go back to wash and sleep at half past seven, and I have an exam tomorrow.

In addition, more than ten years have passed between me and him, and the relationship shows no signs of progressing. I still sometimes feel like he likes me, and sometimes I feel like he's the same to everyone.

Say, should I find a way to hide the tangle in my heart?

Also, do I want it or not, my heart is crossed and my teeth are bitten - Shen Sibo, you explain it to me. I don't want it for more than ten years, and I'm still a trembling candidate, waiting to see the results you give me at any time.

But I have an exam tomorrow.

"Public International Law", if I can't marry in the future, I'll look for you.

Well, I'll admit, it doesn't have much to do with that but -- I don't dare. If you have been with a boy for more than ten years, the relationship has been very stable and comfortable, and each other is like a part of each other, you don't dare to be so rash.

I turned around, took off the second loaf and rubbed the corners of my forehead.

"What's wrong, headache?"

"Sort of." I held it in my hand.

"Then go back and lie down for a while."

He said to go back, and when I thought that today was over, I was very depressed: "It's okay, you don't care about me." "

He looked at me, so unreasonable to him: "Okay, if you find someone to manage you, I won't care." "

I became more and more entangled: "That's it, there are a lot of people chasing me." "

Believe me, I'm not usually so vain.

"Is there a suitable one?" He thought for a while and asked, "For example, on New Year's Day, your senior brother is not quite handsome." "

"Yes, yes." Relying on the information asymmetry, I shamelessly said: "He is chasing me, do you think I should accept it?" "

"......"

Five seconds after saying this, I fully understood what it means to eat and not talk nonsense - we turned the corner and bumped into the person.

He leaned against the railing and turned to look at us.

This person Shen Sibo probably also had an impression, after all, he almost gave him a punch last time.

"Qi, Senior Brother Qi?"

As before, he nodded, and his tone did not hear any personal contact: "Hello." "

Then I saw Luo Ting, coming very slowly from a few meters away, Qi Xiang stretched out his hand to her, held her arm, and put the other arm on her shoulder.

"Zhuang Ning?" Luo Ting had been looking at him, but when she turned her head, she saw me: "What are you doing here?" "

"...... Walk, walk, walk. "

"Oh." She probably didn't understand what my ghostly expression was, and then looked at Shen Sibo: "Then you can continue, don't bother." "

She walked over, and from behind, they were too reliable.

And Qi is basically a superfluous sentence from beginning to end, and his attitude is quite calm, and the three words of suitor are related to him is dry rubber and electricity.

But probably because of the weakness of my heart, I heard Luo Ting's voice two meters away, and raised a rising tone out of curiosity, like a small flag in the air pointing directly at my shame:

"Senior Brother Qi, what are you laughing at?"

I must not be shy at this moment, if I am shy, it will be over, and if I am shy, I will collapse, and Shen Sibo is also very kind, obviously his eyes are full of laughter, but his face is faint, and the tension is so obvious, it is almost my life.

"Load! Let you pretend! I put my glasses on and pinched him with my free hand.

His eyes flashed quickly: "Miss, please be reasonable." "

"No, we don't know each other anyway."

He cooperated to correct me: "I just met, your surname?" "

We sometimes play this game of playing strangers, pretending to meet in a narrow way in our lifetime, which is ridiculous and boring but never tires of it.

I forgot about the unpleasantness: "Why are you telling you?" "

I was so bored, and he also accompanied me to be poor: "Because everyone is destined." "

"Who, which? Didn't see it. "The feeling is a little bit of a bluff like this, passers-by must be very annoying, but I am in it, and the moment of intoxication, I also admit it.

Shen Sibo took a quick step and stood in front of me: "See? "

I look to the right when he is on the left, and I look to the left when he is on the right. He followed my gaze, and I finally couldn't hold it back, laughed, and hit my forehead on his shoulder:

"What are you doing?"

"Help you correct your eyesight." He reached out, ran his fingers across my forehead, and took off my glasses.

I raised my eyes to look at his delicate facial features, this boy was so close to me, as soon as he lowered his head it was a homeopathic kiss, I didn't dare to move, for fear that if I moved slightly, the atmosphere would shift.

But he just wiped it and gave it back to me: "Let's change it, the eyes are like that." "

I wore these glasses, and the skin I touched was itching to my heart: "I said you don't care. "

"That's not going to work." He smiled, like Bai Yueguang, and added: "I promised your mother that I would be responsible for you." "

It's my mother's business. Also, what do you mean, responsible? You learn the language, Shen Sibo, please explain what it means, especially the relationship between men and women.

But he was embarrassed when he finished speaking, obviously, a burst of red appeared on his fair face - I don't know if it was a slip of the tongue or abruptness, I hoped it was the latter, but I was suddenly speechless at this moment.

The front side is divided into two roads, the left side leads to the back hill of the school and the east gate, and the right side of the road leads to the dormitory area, which is now dusty.

"What are schools building?" Shen Sibo asked in a low voice, a little suspicious that he had nothing to say.

"New school building, huh? Really, the cover is not enough. "

"Expand your enrollment." Then he said: "This section is not safe, don't walk alone at night." "

"It's fine."

His face finally eased: "Zhuang Ning, you are a girl, can you not be so ......?"

"Brave?"

"...... Silly and bold. "