At 9:19 p.m., the 376th train arrived at Guangping on time.

When I came out of the station, I felt a little desolate when I saw the familiar streets and the rows of neon lights on the buildings around the square in front of the station. She has lived here since she was in college, and she has long psychologically classified herself as a permanent member of the city. So her desolation at this time seems to contain a kind of abandoned theme - everything familiar and lively in this city is far away from her. She carried the small box and walked along the road to the right of the square in front of the station for a long time, but she did not find the bus stop that she could have found with her eyes and ears closed. She has only been away from Guangping for more than half a month, and for some reason she feels like she is separated from the world.

She made a stop down the road before finding the next bus stop. After getting on the bus, when she wanted to take a ticket, she found out that she originally wanted to go to the People's Hospital, but under the guidance of the subconscious, the train was headed for Tie Jun's house. It used to be her home, but it wasn't now, and it won't be anymore.

She was a little sad when she thought of this home, and her eyes were a little damp, but there were so many people in the car, it was not a place to cry. She refrained from thinking about this home, but every room, every corner, every piece of furniture, every thing in the kitchen, toilet and balcony, every furnishing, came to her eyes. She hesitated, but still made a ticket home as usual, got off the bus when she arrived at the station, and went home as usual. From the bus station to home, you have to cross a clean wooded road in the middle of the building, with tall mature fragrant trees planted on both sides of the road, and camellia flowers spraying red and bright on the side of the road. The greenery and red flowers give the road a romantic atmosphere, and the romance makes it a place where at night there are butterflies of couples, walking among the flowers and under the street lamps, muttering and whispering. This is the case, whether it is winter or summer.

It was just after nine o'clock in the evening, and it was time for young people to find romance. Anxin carried the box, looking at the men and women in love with the moon, tender and sweet, and couldn't help but feel a little sour in my heart. Most of the women who twisted and shy in the crooks of men's arms were older than her, but they seemed to have just tasted the mystery and beauty of opposites attracting. And what about her, she is not yet twenty-two years old, she has experienced everything, everything has passed.

Now, she is carrying a suitcase, crossing this Linyin Road, and walking home, which feels a bit like the usual way to go home every time she returns to Guangping from Nande and gets off the train with the suitcase. The more vivid and intense the feeling, the more she had to tell herself: it's all over.

When she got home, she stood at the door of the building and looked up, her house lived on the fifth floor, she searched for a while, and found the window that once belonged to her and Tie Jun. I don't know if there is no one at home or the curtains are drawn, and the window is dark. The entrance to the building is very quiet, and no one enters or leaves. She stood in the shadows and looked up for a long time, then lowered her head, dragged the box back, and walked back along the windy and snowy Linyin Road to the bus stop.

She reversed the bus twice, and at about half past ten in the evening, she arrived at the Guangping People's Hospital.

Guangping People's Hospital is a place she is very familiar with, where she accompanied her old principal two years ago until he was in peace. It was also here two years ago that she started her first love. And today, two years later, on this lonely night, still here, she wants to meet her lover Zhang Tiejun for the last time, and she wants to say her final goodbye to the love that began here.

She walked to the familiar entrance of the hospital, entered through the gate, and entered the building of the night emergency room. The building is littered with patients who see patients at night, and there seem to be very few medical staff. She walked through a small hidden door in the emergency department, all the way through the familiar backyard of her home. Finally, she found a small independent building, the door of which was darkened and unguarded. She walked in and walked up the safety staircase to the basement. She had been here two years ago, and this basement was the morgue of Guangping People's Hospital.

When she went down to the basement and saw a guard dozing off in a chair, she woke up the young man and asked him if Master Li, who was in charge of the morgue, was there. The young man woke up startled, and his O-shaped mouth was wide open and he couldn't speak for a long time. Probably the most daring person would have some miserable ghost dreams in a place like the morgue, and when the young man opened his eyes, he saw a young woman floating in front of him, presumably as the female ghost of the dream, and his stunned appearance seemed to be gone. The Master Li whom Anxin met two years ago, because he has worked in the morgue for 30 years, claims to be no longer afraid of ghosts, and has been at peace with ghosts for 30 years. Once he ate at the same table with An An in the hospital cafeteria, he told An An that ghosts were not scary. Ghosts are actually the kindest, and they come out at night because of sentimentality, if you are not afraid and ignore it, you will be fine.

The young man who was worth more might be a newcomer, and he hadn't yet had the cultivation to worship ghosts and gods and stay away, so he was stunned for a while before he let out a sigh of relief and asked, "...... Who are you? ”

An An repeated a sentence: "Is Master Li here?" I'm looking for him. ”

The young man trembled and said, "He's not here, he's coming tomorrow morning." ”

Anxin asked, "What time is the morning?" ”

The young man gasped, calmed down a little, and his voice became much calmer, and he said, "You really scared me to death, how did you get in?" He also said, "Master Li will come after six o'clock in the morning, and tomorrow at seven o'clock, family members will come to get dressed, and the makeup artist will come to put on makeup." ”

Anxin nodded, thanked the young man, and left the place to go back to the night emergency department. She looked at her watch, it was eleven o'clock, and she had only seven hours to go until six o'clock the next morning, and she didn't know how far away she could find a cheaper hotel nearby. After thinking about it, she simply found an empty bench in the waiting corridor, put the box on the bench, and then she sat down, closed her eyes, and waited for the dawn.

She was surrounded by self-conscious patients, and the medical staff rarely saw each other, and she sat here half-asleep, and no one cared anyway.

Seven hours later, she went to the small building in the back again and saw Master Li at the door of the morgue. Master Li recognized her for a while before recognizing her, he still remembered her, and also knew that Zhang Tiejun was the son of Principal Zhang of the public security college three years ago. The old man said: "Remember, remember, why don't you remember, we still had dinner and chatted together, so what is the relationship between you and Zhang Tiejun now?" Wife? The old man was a little surprised. Then he made a gesture of sympathy, "Ah, you're married, ah, ah...... Say goodbye to the body today, right? You came so early, and you came alone? ”

Anxin said: "I have an urgent matter to leave today, and I can't attend the farewell of the body." Before I go, I want to see him one last time and say goodbye to him, okay? ”

Anxin said goodbye when the circles under his eyes were already red. Master Li has been doing this kind of work with dead people for many years, and kindness comes first. He looked at the box in Anxin's hand, hurriedly said okay, okay, and then immediately took out the key and opened the door of the morgue. Anxin finally saw Tie Jun, who had just been pulled out of the cold room, and the person's appearance was a little deformed. But Anxin still hugged him, this is her lover. A few of her hot tears dripped on Tie Jun's cold face, and she knew that these few insignificant tears could not dissolve the cold face. Tears are just her confession, Tiejun died because of her mistakes, and she must repent for the rest of her life.

In addition to repentance, those tears also represent her loneliness at this time! She knew that after saying goodbye to Tie Jun forever, she would become a lonely person. She was going to go to a strange place alone, to a group of strange people, and there was no longer the concern, longing, and admonition of the Iron Army, and these concerns, thoughts, and admonitions, which were always by her side before, were now so unattainable to her.

She gently touched Tie Jun's face, she had a lot to say to him, she felt that Tie Jun was still able to communicate with her. She whispered to him in a voice that only she could hear: "Tie Jun, I'm leaving, I'm only one now, I'm a little scared!" Can you bless me one more time? Will you bless me one more time? She listened quietly, and she really heard Tie Jun's voice in her heart, and it made her cry. She cried and said, "I heard it, and I bless you, Iron Army!" ”

She took off the jade Guanyin hanging from her chest and placed it next to Tie Jun's pillow. That was her mother's blessing to her, and it was also her blessing to Tie Jun, she wanted to let that piece of jade represent her, on behalf of her to stay by Tie Jun's side forever, bless his soul, and ascend to heaven safely.

Setting the jade away, she kissed Tie Jun's closed lips, which were as hard as iron and as cold as iron. That hard, cold feeling remained on Anxin's lips for a long, long time.

Anxin straightened up, her eyes met Master Li who was standing on the side, and Master Li's face was surprised and moved. He has worked here for thirty years, and he has probably never seen such a farewell, and he was a little stunned for a while, until he said thank you Master Li, and then he woke up like a dream. He walked over and helped Anxin push Tiejun's body back into the freezer. At this time, he saw the jade Guanyin placed next to Tie Jun's pillow.

"Master Li, I want to ask you for one thing, wait for them to finish dressing him, you put this in his clothes, okay?"

Master Li's gaze rubbed on the jade Guanyin, moved to Anxin, and he nodded at Anxin: "You can rest assured." ”

Anxin bowed deeply to him.

The sky is clear.

Anxin left the hospital with a suitcase, didn't linger anymore, she knew that from now on, she no longer belonged to Guangping. She took a bus, went directly to Guangping Railway Station, and bought a ticket from Guangping to Beiqiu. When a train carried her out of the wide screen, the red sun had just risen among the countless high-rise buildings in the city.

Less than 10 minutes after she left the hospital, several staff members of the Tie Jun funeral team of the Propaganda Department of the Guangping Municipal Party Committee and two relatives of Tie Jun's family helped Tie Jun's mother to the morgue of the People's Hospital. They were joined by a make-up artist specially invited from the Guangping Revolutionary Cemetery. Tie Jun's mother brought a brand new suit and shirt she bought for her son, and she said that she would dress her son by hand as she did when he got up every day when he was a child.

At nine o'clock in the morning, the farewell ceremony of Zhang Tiejun's body was held in the first farewell room of Guangping People's Hospital. It is said that there were a lot of people present, and in terms of the number of people alone, it was no less than the scale of mourning a director; It is said that there are not a few leaders who came to express their condolences, and the highest level is Deputy Director Xing and his wife of the Guangping Municipal People's Congress; It is said that Tiejun's mother restrained her crying and behaved quite strongly, which made everyone present feel extremely surprised and sincerely admired the mother's personality and will.

After the farewell ceremony, Tie Jun's body was sent to the Guangping Revolutionary Cemetery, where it was turned into a handful of blue ashes in the roaring fire. Tie Jun's mother ignored everyone's dissuasion and did not leave the cemetery and go home until she saw and touched her son's ashes with her own eyes and hands after the cremation was over. She told the person who sent her back that she was tired and needed to sleep for a while, and drove away two relatives who had insisted on accompanying her. When she was the only one left in the house, she went into her bedroom, closed the door, fell on the bed, and began to cry loudly. At this time, in terms of time, the train that Anxin took was close to arriving in Bukchi.

All these stories about Anxin, Tiejun, their respective parents, their respective jobs, their colleagues and enemies, first came from Anxin's own narration, then what I heard and witnessed, and finally completed in my imagination and speculation. The details of the story and the hearts of the characters are usually not difficult to imagine and speculate, not to mention that I later went to Beiqiu and Nande with Anxin, and I saw and traveled to the places where this story took place, and felt the historical and humanistic background. The background is ostensibly prosaic or even invisible in this place, but it has profound implications for why the story takes place and how it ends.

Among these locations, the only one I haven't been to before is Qingmian. Qingmian is not the main space for those plot interpretations, its role in these stories is more like the background I just mentioned. Yes, it is the background, the source of temperament in the soul of the protagonist of this story.

Anxin talked to me the most, and it was also Qingmian. Everyone retains a humanistic preference and nostalgia for their hometown and childhood. Qingmian, as the back screen of the ancient mourning country, is also a key point in history for outstanding people and soldiers, and after thousands of years of vicissitudes, it is now relatively closed. In the guidebook I bought from the grocery store in front of the train station, I saw that Qingmian's long history was summed up in a few simple words, which deepened my sense of mystery about this place. The tourist guide highlights the famous spot is a section of the ancient city ruins, which is the only remaining Han and Tang Dynasty monuments in Qingmian. In the introduction of the text, it is only mentioned that the Qing Mian expanded the city in the Han Dynasty, and the descendants of the Lu Buwei clan of Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty migrated here, and set up Buwei County to "show the evil of his ancestors". It was not until the Ming Dynasty that it was renamed Qingmian, and then changed to Qingmian during the Republic of China, and that's it.

I asked the owner of the small shop in front of the train station for directions, and I was just in time to pass through the remnants of the castle when I went to An's house. To get to Nachengguo, you must first walk on a rope bridge tens of meters long and wade through the Qingmian River. As I crossed the rope bridge, I looked around, and there seemed to be no sound from the mountains around me or the water beneath my feet. There was not a single sign to be seen. There was a cotton-like white cloud in the sky, floating idly on the opposite hill. It's a secluded wonderland, and it feels like it's far, far away from the hustle and bustle of the outside world.

After crossing the bridge and walking for a quarter of an hour, you will see the street market of Qingmian County. Most of the streets are filled with old buildings, but it seems that only the gate at the entrance is the real monument. The ruins of this ancient city are more complete than I expected before, although most of the city walls no longer exist, but the city gate and arrow tower still stand in the wind, the years are vague, the charm is like that, it has become one of the most conspicuous symbols of this Qingmian County.

The county seat is actually a pass between two huge rocks, and the sun has already risen at this time, but the county seat, which resembles a deep valley, is still shrouded in a deep shadow. This shadow has left the entire county town unaware, with most of the shops open and few pedestrians on the streets. I approached the gate of the ancient city, and saw a monument in front of it, with a brief introduction to the ancient city, which was obviously written by today's people: "This city was built in the second year of the Yuan Feng of the Western Han Dynasty, the city is seven miles around, three zhang and five feet high, one zhang deep, and there are six gates...... Rebuilt in the Qing Dynasty Qianlong five years, the county Yuan Hongye local materials, repair the remnants of the que...... "when I passed through the city gate, sure enough, I found that on each city brick, there are faintly burned "Qianlong Jiawu Zhixian Yuan made" words. These inked fonts allow me to appreciate the richness of the entire Qingmian cultural history, and thus add some subtle understanding of the peace of mind that was born from Si.

In addition to Qingmian, I traveled most of the places I went with peace of mind. Even the least important of all, Beiqiu, a county-level city that would not hurt even if it is ignored in terms of plot, I have made a short stay. Anxin lived and worked here for less than 100 days, and she lived in a dormitory for a building materials company, with a few female workers who specialized in cutting marble. Those female workers only knew that this He Yanhong was transferred from Baoshan, probably the child of a friend who was the head of the company. They all treated her like a child. People in the company thought she was a child, just like when I saw her in the training hall of the Kyo Taekwondo Gym. Her image gives people the impression that she is a girl who has just left her parents and is still obsessed with chasing stars and eating snacks. In the eyes of the people around her, the only difference between her and that kind of girl is that she doesn't like to laugh, she doesn't fit in well, she just bows her head and goes back and forth between the dormitory and the office alone every day, her life is monotonous, and her interests are boring. Such a self-enclosed girl, whether she is to others or others to her, will not have any short-term gossip and gossip.

She works in a small courtyard 100 meters away in front of the dormitory, and her job is to work as a statistician in the company's sales department. That's right, just as the comrades of the Political Department of the Nande City Public Security Bureau told her, this company has good benefits and high wages, and it is said that everyone will have a year-end dividend for the money she earns every month, including salary, bonuses and meals, which is more than 100 yuan more than her as a trainee superintendent in the anti-narcotics brigade.

The work is simple, the life is stable, the income is good, and although it is a little lonely, the peace of mind at this time is completely different from the peace of mind when I first arrived in South Germany more than a year ago. She had just experienced a life-and-death struggle and a life-and-death parting, she needed to be alone, she needed to be quiet, she didn't want to be close to anyone, she didn't need to talk to anyone, she didn't need any entertainment and friends. She just wants to live quietly like this, and it's good to live like this. However, this quiet life, which seemed almost too boring to outsiders, did not last long, and on the morning of just three months and six days after Anxin came to Beiqiu, she submitted a simple resignation report to the sales department of her building materials company, and quietly left Beiqiu that night.

Walking so hastily, so quietly, of course something special happened. This kind of thing is said to be special, but in fact, it is probably very common in those small places, very ordinary, and not worth making a fuss about. That is: the new manager of the building materials company, the son of the owner of the company who had just stepped down as manager and became chairman, finally courted her publicly, and forcefully, after making many hints to Anxin.

In Anxin's eyes, the heir to the chairman is a typical playboy, surrounded by beautiful women all day long, and complacent about the kind of poor people's profligacy. After he saw Anxin, he vowed never to get close to a woman again, and he let Anxin see it, and he did what he said. He is in his thirties, and this perseverance can be achieved, at least in the short term. Just like when I was chasing peace of mind, he constantly invited her out to dinner, and cared for and improved her living conditions; What is more convenient than my pursuit of peace of mind is that after being rejected, he can condescendingly care about her thinking and business performance as the leader of the company, and often call her to the manager's office alone to "talk about work" or something...... She can't get rid of it, there is nowhere to hide, and her only way is to call Lao Pan. But what can Lao Pan do, except to teach her some methods on the phone so that she can deal with it properly, there is no other way.

The methods taught by Lao Pan are too conventional, but they are the language and ways of ordinary women rejecting men, or in other words, some outdated techniques of ordinary female subordinates rejecting male bosses. This is useless for the big money in the small place who thinks that if you have money, you will have everything. There may be only one useful way, that is, to confess her life experience to him with peace of mind - she is married and has children, she is not He Yanhong, a small jade from Baoshan, but an anti-narcotics police officer who was chased and killed incognito. Only in this way can the manager who has little experience and has never seen the world be frightened, but this method is absolutely forbidden for her to use.

The manager of a private enterprise has power by inheriting the hereditary property of the monarchy, and the general characteristics of those who come to power in this way are nothing more than a penchant for braggadocio and abuse of power. Especially when it comes to personnel, it's definitely the individual who has the final say. Within such private companies, the degree of freedom of power is already quite high. As soon as he said that, he decided to transfer Anxin from the sales department to the general manager's office, as a public relations secretary, responsible for assisting the manager in entertaining customers, and informed her that he would accompany him on a business trip to Dali and Kunming in the past few days. Privately, he promised to appoint her as an assistant manager of the company immediately, and also found her an independent unit. The day after he put the keys to the two-bedroom apartment on Anxin's desk, Anxin decided to resign and left Beiqiu on the same day.

She returned to Qingmian.

All she wanted was to go home, all she wanted was her mom and dad and her kids waiting for her at home.

Her home, Anxin described to me, is a beautiful northern house-style house, which is the most profitable time for Anxin's father to open a workshop, plus the savings of practicing medicine and selling medicine for many years, on the foundation of the old house of her family. Gray wall and green tile, front porch and back building, heavy eaves caisson well, brick carving and painting...... That's pretty the case. Because Anxin's mother came from Shanxi, this house is somewhat like the style of the Qi family compound and the Qiao family compound. Not about the scale, of course, but about the style. There is a particularly mundane mood and pleasure to live in such an old house. The yard can also raise some chickens and dogs, and the general farmer's economical and practical house function is different, peace of mind domestic chickens, ducks, dogs and rabbits, is a pet, is an atmosphere at home. An Xin often delights in describing to me the superficial but departing atmosphere of her small courtyard, which has made this mansion a symbol of heaven, a symbol of refuge, and a symbol of paradise in the depths of my soul. The large gray eaves, the courtyard-like courtyard, the full moon gate and the festive stone lions in the majesty all converged into my meditation - this northern-style house, in front of a majestic mountain and beautiful water, against the backdrop of the setting sun, in the dark red of the surrounding traditional Yunnan houses, in my imagination, like a mirage, in my imagination.

It was with this feeling that I imagined the picture of returning home with peace of mind - she carried her suitcase in the foggy early morning and walked into the courtyard of the same color as the foggy morning. She saw her mother, who was feeding the chickens in the yard at dawn, and after staring in amazement, she silently hugged her, and the father, who had just risen, walked out of the house at the end of the house and saw his daughter who had finally returned......

The reunion with her parents and son has an indescribable feeling for Anxin, especially when she sees her surviving son after more than three months. If it weren't for the child, she might not have felt so sad, and that sadness was actually pity for the child. Now, the child is only hers, without a father - she has never psychologically regarded Mao Jie as the father of the child. She always guessed how pitiful a fatherless child must be. Compassion often evokes great love, and she feels that only she can take responsibility for children in this world.

She gave the child a new name, which was her mother's idea, and it was called Yasuo. The mother felt that the image of the surname Ann was like a woman staying in the house, and the surname of a man was easy to give people a dull and weak feeling, like a father who was at ease. If there is a single male character after the surname An, it will have masculinity. Anxin also thinks the name is good, simple and powerful. Moreover, she could call her son by Bear Bear, and Bear became her son's nickname. The word "little bear" gives her the feeling that she is both brave and cute, which is very suitable for her son's appearance. Later, she heard that the Northeast people said that bears actually meant stupid and cowardly.

Because of this child, Anxin tried not to think about Tie Jun as much as possible, and Tie Jun and the child could no longer be connected. She found that this kind of unconnected and even somewhat antagonistic love was an indescribable pain for her, and her nerves were now overtired and fragile, and she could no longer bear this pain in her soul.

Together with her children, she lives with her parents and calms her mood slowly. After this courtyard was built, she only came back to live occasionally, and it was still a little strange. Now, she stays at home every day, savoring every corner of the yard, rubbing every thing, looking for a sense of home. More time is spent playing with the child, and when the child sleeps, she stays by his side and watches his slightly frown when he sleeps. The frowning look made his son's small face look preoccupied. The expression is very similar to Tie Jun, but the shape of the facial features is still more like Mao Jie, especially the small mouth and dimples on the cheeks, the more you look at it, the more it looks like Mao Jie.

In fact, Mao Jie's image should have changed a long time ago in Anxin's memory, becoming an expressionless walking corpse, that is the last Mao Jie she saw in court. If this face is expressionless, coupled with the fact that he took Mao Fang to shoot the Iron Army in the middle of the night, needless to say, it is reassuring, even I can imagine what a murderous face it would be.

After living at home for more than half a month, she began to think about her future. Although her father's traditional Chinese medicine processing factory has long since closed and her mother's salary income is negligible, the family's life is still superior. This superiority is a feeling, a pampering and comfort that she has been cared for in the morning and dusk, and this pampering and comfort has been rarely enjoyed since she left home many years ago to study and work. But once she enjoyed the warmth under the wings of her parents, she had another kind of anxiety, that is, she was at a loss for the future.

According to Anxin's personality and ambition since childhood, it is impossible to be idle and enjoy himself forever. Her father had advised her to stay and study medicine with him, passing on the skills of her ancestors. In this era, even the most traditional Chinese medicine families are no longer stubborn about the bad family rules of passing on children but not daughters. Moreover, Chinese medicine is an eternal job, no matter how much the world develops, no matter how incredible, even if it comes to the day when farmers only use the computer to type on the keyboard for farming, Chinese medicine will not be outdated! Sooner or later, even foreigners will be superstitious about the pill pills, and they will look forward to hearing and asking! The reassuring father firmly believes that sooner or later there will be such a day! Traditional Chinese medicine is inherently the deepest science.

But my mother didn't want to stay at home to study medicine. There are very few girls who study medicine, and patients don't trust them. My mother has also read a lot of books on humanities and social sciences, and she still has some ideals and ambitions in her bones, hoping that her children can get out of the family, get out of the blockage, and go out for a long journey. She doesn't want her descendants to go out, but she just thinks that young people should go out to see the world, even if their careers are unsuccessful, they can be regarded as tempered. Mother firmly believes that if a young person is trained or not, the quality of life in the future will definitely be different. In addition, the mother also wants to be at home alone with a child, and after a long time, the villagers in the neighborhood will inevitably gossip. She and Anxin, mother and daughter, are both face-saving people.

Besides, after her daughter is decided, she always has to choose a son-in-law to marry. Not to mention that none of Xiao Bumao's mothers in this small place have taken a fancy to her, but she has taken a fancy to it, and she is at ease dragging a child to marry for the second time, do you want it? All the customs and thoughts of small places attach great importance to women's chastity and martyrdom, especially Yunnan people, who want face more than life.

So my mother said to Anxin: "Mom is reluctant to let you go, and if you stay at home for a lifetime, Mom can support you." But you're a college student, how would you feel good about staying like this for the rest of your life? Do you still want to go to a big city like Guangping again? ”

The mother was silent when she asked this. The mother said, "Don't worry, I can take it with you, don't worry about the child dragging you down." ”

Anxin remained silent. At night, when it was time to go to bed, she said to her mother, "Mom, if I go, I will leave Yunnan and go farther away, and besides, I will take the child with me, and the child should be with my mother." ”

On the seventh day of this communication between mother and daughter, Anxin put on a simple bag, carried all the 3,500 yuan cash that his parents could put together, and boarded a train that stopped in the middle of the night after he fell asleep. On the morning of the second day, the train pulled Anxin's mother and son into the foggy Guangping.

Anxin got off the train on the wide screen. She went directly from the station to the Guangping Revolutionary Cemetery. She doesn't know when she will be able to come to Guangping again in this life, and she may never return when she goes out this time, so she wants to take another look at Tie Jun.

Under the guidance of the cemetery staff, she quickly found the ashes of the Iron Army stored here. She bought two bouquets of flowers from the cemetery's management office, put them in the locker of Tie Jun's ashes, and silently said her words in her heart. She didn't cry. Although, this is the first person to give her a happy family, the one she once pinned her dreams on for the future. Although her life will be lonely and uncertain due to the loss of this person, she will have to move on alone because she has to raise her children.

So she can't let grief overwhelm her, she can't cry forever!

When she left the cemetery, a staff member asked her name and gave her a phone number, saying that someone had asked them to pass it on to her when Anxin came to visit the grave, hoping to contact him.

Anxin looked at the phone number, and the name written under the number, the name is Li Quanfu, and it is very unfamiliar from the word to the sound.

An hour later, in a secluded snack bar in the city, on either side of a pot of tea, she met with this Li Quanfu. As soon as we met, she knew Master Li, who worked in the morgue of the People's Hospital.

They sat down face to face, and without much greeting, Master Li took something out of his arms and placed it on the table. At a glance, everything is understood. The tears that didn't fall when I said goodbye to Tie Jun just now fell down in a flutter.

It's the jade Guanyin.

Master Li took a sip of tea and only said, "His family doesn't agree with him taking this away." ”

Anxin picked up the jade Guanyin, put it in his hand and stroked it, and a thin red rope on it was still as new as ever. She said, "Excuse me, Master Li. ”

Master Li looked at the child in her arms, the box on the ground, and asked, "Are you going out?" ”

An Xin said: "Yes, I want to go far, far away, and I will never return to Guangping again." ”

Anxin really thinks so: she will never return to Guangping again.

In the afternoon of this day, she broke up with the kind-hearted and responsible Master Li at the snack bar, and boarded a northbound train again, starting the real journey she insisted on. After three days and three nights of crowded, noisy and sleepless trekking, she arrived in Beijing on a rainy morning.

Beijing, a city she yearns for, admires and impresses, has had a honeymoon that she will never forget. She doesn't expect Beijing to give her any achievements and careers, and a foreigner like her, who has an unknown identity, an unclear background, no expertise, and drags her children and daughters, will definitely not be able to survive in such an international metropolis full of talents. She came to Beijing only because the distance between Beijing and her was, in every way, far enough. As long as she has a place to stand here and survive for a while, she believes that she will forget the past and be reborn. Therefore, the meaning of Beijing for her is a kind of evasion from the city, and at the same time, Beijing can also make her change her face and give her another passion for life.

Another reason for her to come to Beijing was that she suddenly remembered that she had another acquaintance here. This acquaintance is a masseur of the Armed Police Taekwondo Team, the old man who used to be her physical trainer in the Taekwondo team of the Baoshan District Sports School.

The last time she came to Beijing for her honeymoon, she visited her teacher at the site of the Armed Police Taekwondo Training Team, and she still remembered that the place was on a street near Xidan. After she arrived in Beijing, she first found a six- or seven-square-meter peasant house on the riverside of a half-city and half-countryside in Fengtai District, and the monthly fee of 800 yuan included the landlord to help her take care of the children. After settling down with her residence and children, she went to the Xidan area to look for it, but the address was lost but her memory was still there. But after she arrived in Xidan, she didn't expect that Xidan had completely changed, there were many new buildings, there were large areas of green space that were not in the past, and the road had become wider. She was standing at the corner of the street, a little unable to find the north. She searched for two of the three places to inquire, and finally found out that the training hall had already moved, and she didn't know where to go. She searched for another three days, and only when she was desperate did she find the new site of the armed police taekwondo team. She found a young trainer in the brand new training hall who knew the old coach, and the young coach told her that the masseur she was looking for was no longer working here, that he had cancer and that his son had taken him away, and that he might still be living in Anzhen Hospital. Anzhen Hospital is on the side of Anzhen Bridge, and if you take a taxi, the driver will know it. In fact, Anxin must not be able to afford to take a taxi, she inquired about the route and walked by bus for nearly two hours before finding Anzhen Hospital, and saw the dying old coach in a crowded ward on the corner of the third floor. She ran to the hospital, obviously it was impossible to ask the old coach to help her find any work, she only came to visit him, in order to do a little bit of mentor-apprentice affection.

The old coach is in good condition, he can still talk to her, and even write by hand. He actually trembled and wrote a text message for Anxin. The letter was addressed to one of his students, who also worked as a masseur at a taekwondo gym. The letter said that he was dying, and that the matter of entrusting him before he died was to help him find a job for one of his godgranddaughters. When he folded the letter and handed it to Anxin, Anxin shed tears, and she suddenly felt that she was still very lucky, she had met too many good people in her life.

Anxin walked out of the hospital, stood on the side of the street, and unfolded the letter of impunity that might become a final letter under the dazzling sunlight that suddenly appeared after the rain. At the bottom of the letter was a crooked and distorted address, along with the route of the bus that could reach that address.

She took the bus and found the place. It was a large courtyard closed with a large iron gate, and there were buildings in the courtyard. On one side of the iron gate hangs a vertical plaque, which reads: Jingshi Amateur Sports School; There is also a square sign hanging on it: Jingshi Taekwondo Club.

Two months later, on a sunny afternoon, An An walked under the window of the training hall of the Jingshi Taekwondo Club with a handful of cloths, and the sunlight that came in obliquely from the high window enveloped her whole body like a fog, rendering a hazy illusion. On the opposite side of the window, a group of newcomers who had just assembled in line followed her figure with happy eyes, including Liu Minghao's unscrupulous eyes and me.