A year after I first saw Anxin in the training hall of the Taekwondo gym of the Beijing Normal Sports School, a week after Zhong Ning and I parted ways, I took Anxin and her lovely son Xiaoxiong into my home and started our cohabitation life.

This time I lived with Anxin and forced her to live and serve me like a scoundrel, this time I officially lived with Anxin, almost like a common declaration for us, a conscious choice that we both had after careful consideration, a recognition of each other that could not be expressed more forcefully, and a way for us to get each other's comfort, caress and dependence. This kind of life made me aware of my responsibilities and obligations, and I suddenly became old like an adult.

Every morning, Anxin would wake up early to cook for us, and I would get up to help the bear get dressed and babble with him. Then we had breakfast together, and after breakfast we didn't clean up the table, leaving the pots and pans and the remnants of the splendor until the evening. Anxin hurried to the Third Ring Furniture City to go to work, and I went with her to take Xiaoxiong to a residential building near the Furniture City, and handed over the child to his "grandmother" - a desolate and charitable old lady with children on her knees. The old lady charges a low fee for us to watch the children, mainly because we want the child to be with her to have some happiness in old age, that is, we don't give money to let her see her in vain, but we don't want to give money.

Every day, after sending my children, I went out to look for a job. I have to work! Because I want to feed Anxin and her children. When someone you love needs you, you feel very fulfilled and energized, and that's something that can make you excited. This is very different from how I used to think and feel about work. In the past, I was used to doing nothing, and I used to aspire to excel, but neither of them was as noble as I feel now.

At first, I didn't know that finding a job was psychologically a process of repeated torture of self-esteem. I am handsome, have a college diploma, have some training in eloquence, and have seen a little bit of the world, and I can basically be generous and behave in a certain way during a job interview, and there will be no blushing and speechless. I thought that with my conditions, even if I wasn't a businessman, I wouldn't be unpopular and couldn't find something to do, so I couldn't help but be complacent. After running a few companies, I realized that what is lacking now is only a handful of professionals such as computer software engineers, senior finance, financial and business administration. Everywhere is missing. A college student like me, who is not in a hot profession and has a diploma, can only be regarded as a general talent. There are too many ordinary talents, and they are silted everywhere. If there is no acquaintance to support, the little education and advantages that I think I am proud of, in the eyes of others, are actually not bullshit.

In the process of looking for a job, I kept downgrading and even went to work as a "blue-collar" worker for a computer company for a few days, just carrying those dead computers all day. Externally, he is the administrator of the supply department of this computer company, but he does pure manual work every day. Later, I found out that moving a computer is similar to moving cabbage, rice, and wood, and the same in nature. I worked for three days and saw that what they needed was a labor force, so I immediately decided to fire the company. Times have changed, a few years ago, it was always said that the best people were not as good as selling eggs to make more money, and those who learned computers were not as fast as the sauce pig's head, and now the history that has been turned upside down has finally been reversed, and it is not as good as selling brain power to make more money!

I had to look for some relationships I knew when I worked at Guoning Company in the past, and I stopped immediately after finding two of them. These companies are all held by Guo Ning as a big customer, and they all know what kind of grievances and entanglements have occurred between me and the Zhong family, and they all know that I am a stupid × who cheated on the little sister of the Zhong family and cheated on another woman, and the result was that the Zhong family kicked it out. My image in the eyes of these people is that of a wretched wretched creature who deserves no sympathy. And for a character like me who is unclear about right and wrong, everyone avoids it, and I don't have to be a fool of me.

I couldn't find anyone who could help me. Including Liu Minghao, but also my dad. Liu Minghao: I called him three times and didn't reply; Called his mobile phone, the answer was a woman, with a foreign accent, I heard that it was the little secretary hired by Liu Minghao cheaply, and asked who you were for a long time, and I said who I am, and she immediately said that Mr. Liu was not there, and she went on a business trip. I know that Liu Minghao is on the side, I can feel it. I was going to say: You told him to come back and call me. But if you think about it, forget it, why bother.

I went to look for my dad, but I couldn't say anything when I saw my dad's dejected appearance. Shortly after I resigned, my dad was also fired by Guoning on the grounds that migrant workers from Jiangsu and Henan were fighting on the construction site. In fact, my dad was not responsible for the fight at all, and he said that the management was not strict, and he should talk to the people from the construction company. But my dad didn't complain, who doesn't know that this is just a crime to add to the desire, anyway, it's going to fire you anything. Although my dad is old, he still has a little bit of eyes. He doesn't hate Zhong Ning and Zhong Guoqing at all, he hates me.

Anxin couldn't find anyone who could help her, her only old friend in Beijing, her enlightenment coach, had cancer, and finally died in the hospital half a year ago. She gets a basic salary of 200 yuan a month from the furniture factory, and the rest depends on the sales commission. If it sells well, it can raise eight or nine hundred at the end of the month, and the highest one month is two thousand six, and if it doesn't sell well, it will be good to raise three or five hundred. In the month of mentioning two thousand six, Anxin also sent 1,500 yuan to Captain Pan. Last time, Xiao Xiong had a sudden illness and high fever, and Lao Pan happened to go on a business trip to Beijing, and he reluctantly let the child be admitted to the hospital first by putting all the 1,000 yuan travel expenses he had with him. Later, Lao Pan sent me another 5,000 yuan to repay the medical expenses that Anxin borrowed from me. Of the 5,000 yuan, 3,000 yuan was a special subsidy for the anti-narcotics brigade to report to the bureau to apply for peace of mind, and the other 2,000 yuan was made up by Lao Pan, Lao Qian, and some other comrades in the team. Peace of mind has not been returned.

My cohabitation life with An Xin was full of ups and downs and difficulties from the beginning, and this was also the happiest and most passionate time we spent together. In those days, we get strength from loving each other and feel happiness. No matter how disagreeable, never complain about the other person. Every morning when we parted, we encouraged each other, and we believed that we were all alive and working hard for each other, so that we were spiritually fulfilled. During the day, no matter what difficulties and unhappiness we encounter, we will always think that we have a common home, and we will all hope that night will fall and return to our nest early. Every night, we leaned on each other, sat on the carpet in front of the couch, and watched the children sleeping on the couch. In order to save on electricity bills, we turned off the lights, didn't turn on the TV, and just sat and talked softly. Sometimes I didn't say anything, just sat silently, resting my head on my lap with peace of mind, and we touched each other's bodies, and our hearts were full of happiness and peace, full of nobility and purity that we had never felt before, and a little bit of tragedy.

If we don't count the children's expenses, our monthly food expenses are always controlled within 200 yuan, and we often rely on eating pickles to get by. Anxin said that she is used to this kind of hard life anyway, but Yang Rui, you are used to eating delicacies from the mountains and seas, how can you do it if you are not nutritious all of a sudden. I said it's okay, I'm in good health, I used to be so thin, and it has nothing to do with nutrition. I didn't feel that the nutrition couldn't keep up with that period of coarse tea and light rice, and I didn't pull the ground and peace of mind almost every day at night**. If I liked any girl before, it must have never slept with her, and once I did, I would be less comfortable with this person, and even annoyed. I don't know why I have such an enduring fascination with a safe body.

Every day, we are able to have fun because we know each other perfectly, and every time we are very harmonious, perfect, fully satisfied, and of very high quality, but we need to suppress the sound and try not to wake up the child. I fully appreciate and understand the unique role of spiritual pleasure in **, and I understand that the kind of pleasure that we get without love is simply incomparable to what we feel every night now. This kind of spiritual enjoyment is something I would never have experienced in my past dandy days.

In the future, I couldn't find a more suitable job, so I had to pull down my face and go to do some manual work. Later, even the work of carrying computers passed the village, and there was no such store in this village. Later, I moved books to the publishing house, drinks and beer to the wholesale food station, and cables to the power supply bureau...... Anyway, I need to make money! I need to come home every day when I am exhausted, pale, and covered in gray land, so that peace of mind hurts me from the bottom of my heart!

At that time, if I didn't have a pain in my heart, no love, no pain and being touched by love, I would definitely not persist in such suffering. Dirtiness and tiredness are not the main thing, the main thing is the anxiety and anxiety because of the lack of work and the sense of lowliness like migrant workers in other places. Once, when I was delivering beer to a restaurant called Friday, I met a girl who had chased me at the door, who was eating with a bunch of fashionable men and women in a brand, and she didn't recognize me like that. "Yo, isn't this Yang Rui, why are you so virtuous?" I couldn't tell if her tone was sincere or sarcastic, "I heard that you quit your job, what's the matter, are you in the beer business now, or are you here to experience life?" ”

I smiled and didn't shy away from answering the stares of her and her friends up and down, and I said, "No, it's life experience." ”

That's right, it's life that experiences me, and what I can't bear, whether it's tiredness, hunger, a sense of loss, or face. I've gotten through it all. Although I am psychologically different from Anxin to this kind of life, she is more natural, happy and happy, without a sense of suffering, and really feels happy and happy when there is a little good thing, and I always feel that all this is temporary, and I still have a day to come. All these unforeseen and never-experienced hardships and hardships are God's tempering and testing of our love!

In this unforgettable life, one of the most difficult hurdles to overcome is that the child is sick, and like last time, he has a high fever that does not go away. We took him to the emergency department of the hospital in the middle of the night, and the cause of the high fever was the same as last time, which was a congenital pleurisy attack. The doctor said the child would have to be hospitalized. Like last time, the minimum hospitalization deposit is 3,000, and it will not be charged if it is less. I was helpless with Anxin, in a hurry, I was helpless, I stomped my feet, pulled Anxin to hold the child, and took the car to Tuanjie Lake to find my father.

After I broke up with Zhong Ning, my dad and I only met once, and after a fight, we broke up unhappily. My dad drank a few sips of alcohol and said things that hurt my personality, and insulted Anxin, and I almost swore that I would never see him again. But now Anxin's child is sick like this, Anxin is so anxious that there are only tears left, and I, as her man, can only put down my face, put down my self-esteem, bend my knees, and knock on my father's door again.

We took the car to Tuanjie Lake, and I wanted Anxin and the kids to wait for me outside, but it was raining that day and they had nowhere to stay outside. Besides, I was also worried that my dad wouldn't borrow me even if he had money, so I simply let An An go upstairs with the bear in his arms, I wanted my dad to see what the child was sick about.

But as soon as I knocked on the door, my heart was half cold, and my dad was drinking again, half drunk. This was the first time he saw Anxin, and he was stunned at first, not realizing who this woman holding the child was. I said, "Dad, this is peace of mind, her child is sick, can you help us?" ”

My father's face was flushed, he didn't know if he was angry or he had drunk too much, his face was not only red but crooked, his speech was slurred but his voice was very loud, venting his long-accumulated evil anger.

"I'll help you, who will help me? Yang Rui, are you still my son? Your dad doesn't have a job or food now, do you care? I have such a small pension, I can't even eat the nest, you are young and strong, and you still come to scold me, you let the neighbors hear it, and you can't scold you to death! ”

I pressed the fire, I held my breath, and I said, "Dad, this child has acute pleurisy, if you don't get treatment and his life is in danger, you can help us and save him." ”

My dad didn't look at the children, nor did he look at Anxin, but he pointed at them and yelled at me:

"Whose child is this, is it yours? Is it the child of our old Yang family? Yes! Even you don't look like a member of the old Yang family now, and the people of the old Yang family can't do such a thing as you! ”

I finally got anxious and raised my voice: "What did I do?" There's nothing to be ashamed of what I've done! ”

"You don't feel ashamed, do you, you don't feel ashamed, I feel ashamed, I feel ashamed, I'm ashamed! People say that this woman is not a serious thing, not a serious thing, don't you believe it, why did such a child come out if you don't believe it? You say it's not yours, it's not yours, you carry it around all day long! The more fishy you are, the more you rub against your body, and you rub your body and bring it home for me. That child is not yours, and you have the face to bring it home, don't you really feel ashamed? I'm a disgrace! I can't afford to lose this guy! Hurry up and lead them out of here! ”

I was so angry that I rushed up and grabbed my dad, I probably felt like I was going to fight hard, but I couldn't say anything other than shout "what do you say". Anxin held the child in one hand and dragged me with the other, she was so anxious that she shouted: "Yang Rui, you let go!" He's your dad, you let go of Yang Rui! ”

I let go, and my dad slapped me in the face while yelling, "You're not my son, you dare to hit your dad for a woman!" You're a beast! ”

Tears welled up in my eyes, and I shuddered and turned around and ran out the door, out of the house where I had grown up.

Anxin ran out with me, and my father's irrational shout sounded behind us: "Don't come back if you have backbone, I don't recognize you as a son, and you don't have my father, even if it's I raised you for 20 years for nothing, and raised you for 20 years for nothing!" ”

I ran out into the street, and the rain blew away the tears on my face, but the tears kept coming up and blurred my vision. The streets, vehicles, and pedestrians in the rain are all shrouded in a thick glass cover, and the shadows are blurred and blurred. Anxin chased out, she held an umbrella in one hand and a child in the other, and chased after her in the rain with difficulty. I stood under the empty awning at the 403 bus stop, soaking wet and twisting my head, not wanting her to see my tears. Anxin came over, still holding the red cloth umbrella mechanically, she said: "Yang Rui, you are like this to your father for me, I feel very uncomfortable, you must know that he is your father, he has given birth to you and raised you for 20 years, but I, I am nothing." Me and this kid, we're nothing......"

I turned around and hugged her, and I hugged her and the hot, blank-eyed bear in her arms. The red umbrella slid off our heads, and none of us picked it up. I hugged them tightly and didn't say anything. A 403 bus entered the stop, got a few people down from it, then closed the door and drove away. Still holding Anxin and the child tightly, I pressed my face to her shoulder, and I could feel a slight twitch on her shoulder:

"As I said earlier, I'm a vixen, and whoever wants me will be unlucky."

I put my arms around her hard, and in the midst of the increasing rain, I said, "I just want you, I want this child, I won't be unlucky, we won't be unlucky!" We will definitely be happy in the future! Happier than they are! ”

That's what I meant to the doctor in the hospital an hour later – the child is mine! I took out my ID card and my peace of mind ID card and handed it to the doctor, and I said, "The child is also the state, and you can't die without help." I've put all my documents here, if you can let your child be hospitalized first, I'll send you the deposit!" ”

The doctor was a woman in her thirties, and she looked at me and at ease, and probably we didn't look like adults, like parents. She asked suspiciously, "Are you the child's father?" Your surname is Yang, why is the child's surname An? …… Oh, it's my mother's last name. She glanced at Anxin, and Anxin was quite similar to a child. She said: "Supposedly, we have no right to hold your ID card. In this case, I will discuss with the inpatient department, you can take the child to the treatment room for an intravenous drip first, and then we can stay in the hospital for a while. You should pay the money first. ”

Anxin and I looked at each other, and I said to Anxin, "Let the child fight first, and I'll take the money immediately." ”

I turned around and walked out the door, and stopped me with peace of mind, she didn't dare to amplify her voice in front of the doctor, and asked blankly, "Yang Rui, where are you going to get it?" ”

I didn't know where I was going to get it, so I said, "Find someone." ”

The doctor wrote the order and personally took An An and the child to the treatment room, and asked the people in the treatment room to put the needle first. Because according to the regulations, there is no "cash receipt" stamp on the list, and the needle treatment room will not be played.

I was back in the rain, and I was standing in the rain in a daze with that old red umbrella, and I couldn't think of where I could go!

I still went to find Liu Minghao.

I didn't call, I went directly to Fangzhuang and found his house. I figured if he wasn't home, so I was waiting for him at the door.

As I hoped, Liu Minghao is at home. I hope he's late for clubbing last night and is sleeping at home at this time. Liu Minghao said before that it is most comfortable to sleep with the quilt when it is windy and rainy, and it is even better if it is hailing outside!

I knocked on the door, but he wouldn't open it, I don't know if he really didn't wake up or didn't bother to get up, or if he saw me from the cat's eye and pretended not to be home. I kept knocking patiently, and for ten minutes, the neighbors around me opened the door to look at me, and I felt so shameless that I was about to go downstairs in discouragement, when the door opened.

Liu Minghao was disheveled, sleepy-eyed, and saw me standing at the door with my whole body wet, a little embarrassed and a little stunned.

"Yang Rui? Why are you here so early, yo, it's almost eleven o'clock, look at my sleep...... Come on, come on, come in, where have you been getting rich all this time? No one can find you. ”

I went into the house, and there was a new carpet in the house, and I stood at the door, not daring to go in. It's like a country man covered in water who is afraid of soiling his master's room. Liu Minghao helped me get my slippers and said, "It's raining so hard outside, do you want to change your clothes?" I stood in the hallway, took off all the wet clothes on my body, put on a pair of fat and big pants and a pullover that Liu Minghao threw over, and then walked into his living room.

Liu Minghao also put on a pajamas, slept crookedly with his hair, sat down on the sofa face to face with me, and asked, "How about this section, are you alone or with ......?"

I said, "It's still with peace of mind." ”

Liu Minghao's surprise has always been performative, but in fact, he may not be surprised in his heart: "Good guy, the time is not short, more than four months, didn't you and Zhong Ning blow it after the Spring Festival?" Ouch, it's been half a year, right? ”

I said, "Lao Liu, I have a difficult matter now, can you lend me some money?" ”

Liu Minghao probably guessed my intentions a long time ago, he spent all day hanging out with friends from all walks of life in bars and restaurants, and he wouldn't know who was going on. He said, "Are you in a hurry, I just started a business recently, and all the money was staked in, and I am still borrowing other people's money." ”

I bowed my head and said, "It's urgent, I have to ask for it today, Anxin's child is sick." ”

Liu Minghao paused for a moment and said, "You tell the truth to the eldest brother, is that child yours?" They all said that I didn't believe it, peace of mind was what I brought you to know, and this is not enough months, why did I have a child? ”

I said, "Not mine." ”

"Then why are you so concerned?"

I couldn't answer for a long time, and then I said, "I love them." ”

Liu Minghao was stunned, this is really not quite like me, not quite like the boy Yang Rui he is familiar with who picks up girls everywhere and has fun everywhere, as long as he is happy. He looked at me for a moment and said, "What's sick, how much do you want?" ”

I said, "The hospitalization deposit is 3,000 ......."

He said, "Where are you doing now?" There is always a union in your unit, can't I help you advance a little? ”

I said, "It's hard to find a job right now, and I'm doing temporary things now......

Liu Minghao sighed and said, "I have already advised you Yang Rui, don't think that you can make money if you are beautiful, even if you are beautiful, the probability of meeting a woman like Zhong Ning is not so high, you have to listen to me." As I said earlier, you can't want everything, you don't want that. If you have money and a career, don't ask for any love, don't be greedy for that empty mouth. Peace of mind is beautiful, I like it too, but there are so many things, there is no blessing! As I said earlier, the British princess Diana is not × × cow? Reputation, status, money and everything, but she still wants love, and the result is ......"

I didn't wait for him to finish before I got up and walked silently to the door. Liu Minghao shouted behind me: "Yang Rui! "I didn't answer. He saw me change into the wet clothes I had thrown there in the foyer with a calm face, and came along, smiled, and said:

"You're a poor man......"

I changed back into my wet clothes, opened the door, and Liu Minghao said, "In which hospital, I'll stay for a while." ”

Liu Minghao rushed to the hospital at about 3 o'clock in the afternoon, and he paid a deposit of 3,000 yuan for me and stuffed 1,000 yuan in my hand. He said, "Tell you, I'm borrowing you eight thousand, and I'm throwing away my stock for you." Now it's all trapped, and throwing it out at this time is equivalent to losing half, and I have nothing else to do. You remember! ”

I took the money. From the bottom of my heart, I feel that I am so low!

Liu Minghao looked at the peace of mind in the treatment room and didn't talk to her. He patted me on the shoulder and said, "I'll go first, and I'll call you in a few days." ”

A few days later, Liu Minghao really called me, and he asked me to go to the Lulu restaurant in Tuanjie Lake to eat Shanghai food.

So I went.

I used to come to this famous Shanghai restaurant often, the environment is good, and the food is cheap. When I arrived, Liu Minghao hadn't come yet, I looked around inside and out, and I didn't see anyone, so I stood at the door and waited for him. After waiting for half an hour, he came with a Xiali Shanshan, and when he saw me standing stupidly at the door, he complained to me: "Why don't you go in first and order food, what are you doing here?" I didn't speak, I followed him inside, Liu Minghao may have forgotten that I have at most twenty yuan on me now, how dare I sit down and order food alone in such a place! I ordered food, what if he doesn't come?

We went in to find a seat, Liu Minghao took the menu from the young lady, handed it to me, and said, "I'm the most annoying to order." ”

I pushed the menu back and said, "You might as well order it." "It's been a long, long time since I've eaten out, and I'm not used to ordering food.

Seeing that we were pushing each other, the young lady took the opportunity to recommend two expensive dishes. Liu Minghao didn't ask for it, saying that he had eaten both dishes, and they weren't delicious. He ordered a few dishes by himself, including braised lion's head, eel paste, braised fish head, etc., and then asked for beer, told the young lady to hurry up, and then began to chat with me.

"I'm looking for you today, and I really have a problem." He said, "Do you have anywhere else to live now?" ”

I didn't understand for a while: "No, I'll live in our house." ”

Liu Minghao was a little embarrassed: "Ahem, it was your father who looked for me, asked me to find you, and wanted you to move out of that house." Isn't that your father's room, he is now ready to rent out the house, and he has already negotiated with the next family. ”

My face froze suddenly, I didn't say that my dad was too ruthless, I felt that I was so embarrassed in front of Liu Minghao that I didn't have any dignity - even your own father was going to sweep you out of the house, what kind of face do you have!

Liu Minghao also explained for my father: "It's not easy for your father, it's even more difficult for him to find a way to make money than you now." It's either that things don't look down on him, or he doesn't look down on things. Where can I find things like factory directors and vice presidents of projects? But he couldn't find a place to watch the car and guard the door, and he couldn't afford to fall that price. In the future, he will only have to live on his little pension, which is hard enough, if there is a house that can be rented out, at least he can maintain normal expenses. You also know that your dad has no one to take care of him in his life when the little nanny leaves, and he usually likes to drink, so the money is definitely not enough to spend. ”

I suppressed the anger and desolation in my heart, this is my own father, I can't attack in front of outsiders. I said slowly: "Lao Liu, you say, where do I live?" ”

Liu Minghao's fingers knocked on the table, he didn't speak, and after knocking for a while, he shook his head, sighed, and said, "Yes, you also have nowhere to go, besides, you still have a peace of mind, and you still have a child." So how do I tell your dad when I go back? Let's just say you can't move for a while? ”

I drank my beer and said, "Whatever you want." You tell him that he asked the factory for this apartment in my name, and if he didn't give it to me, he should hand it back. ”

Liu Minghao said: "Now state-owned enterprises have stopped distributing houses for welfare, and the houses that have been allocated have to be bought by individuals. If your father buys this house, it will be his personal property, and he has the right to let you live in it and let you move in. You are not a minor, and the law must specifically protect you. I think you should go home by yourself and say a few soft words to your father, people are old, and they all eat soft and not hard. ”

I said, "You tell him that he has his rights, and he will exercise them if he wants." He just forcibly took over the house, and the judicial court sentenced me to move out, and I won't be unable to live, and I won't beg him if I live in a bridge and a hole and live on the road! You tell him, me and Anxin, and Little Bear, we will all live well! ”

Liu Minghao saw that I was excited, and followed my words and continued: "That's right, let's live......" He only answered the sentence "Let's live" and suddenly stopped, I guess he originally wanted to say: "He died first." "But luckily he stopped. Anyway, I'm my dad's son after all, and no matter what he treats me, he's still my dad. I think that once I have money in the future, I will still help him support him, and peace of mind will too. At that time, it will be uncomfortable to see that he is uncomfortable!

Liu Minghao raised his glass, touched me, and said in a conciliatory manner: "I'll go back and do your father's work, your father must still feel sorry for you, mainly because he can't accept Anxin and that child." Then he changed the subject, "Hey, if you really have nothing to do now, I know a buddy who is the director of the laundry at Rendezvous Hotel, and they are looking for a mechanic." Aren't you studying mining machinery, would you like to go to them and become a mechanic? I think it's much the same for mechanical common sense. ”

We didn't talk about my dad at that meal, and Liu Minghao didn't ask a word about the bear, as if they were all unclean things. I ate three bowls of rice at that meal, and I was very full, but I intended to eat less vegetables. At the checkout, I asked Liu Minghao if I could pack so many leftovers and take them back. To be honest, I haven't enjoyed such a delicious taste for a long time, and I especially want to let Anxin and Little Bear share that people's thoughts when they are poor are often so simple and straightforward. Liu Minghao hurriedly said no problem, no problem, and took the initiative to beckon the waiter to bring the packing box. I also asked if I wanted to order two more dishes to bring together, and I said no, no.

That night I happily went home with the leftovers, hoping that I would be safe from work and hadn't eaten. When I got home, Anxin had already returned, and she said that she had already eaten, and she had eaten a steamed bun on the way to the hospital to see the bear after work. I went to the kitchen to take a look, and there was still half a leftover steamed bun, so I insisted on heating the dish for her to eat a little more, and she ate it. I sat across from her and watched her chew hard as she ate, and I felt so comfortable. I said, "Do you remember when I invited you to dinner and you always pretended to be my grandson?" She stuffed a mouthful of food and looked up and winked at me: "How can I pretend to be a grandson?" I said, "At that time, you could take candy, and you forgot to pretend not to take advantage of men." She didn't know whether she really forgot or pretended to be stupid, and said, "What, I remember that I borrowed money from you as soon as I came up, and you were quite unwilling, and I almost didn't jump into the river after hearing what you said at the time." I smiled and asked, "Why didn't you jump?" Anxin became serious again, and said, "What should I do if I jump into the river?" ”

I was silent for a while, and then said, "If you can't finish eating, do you want to bring some to the bear tomorrow?" Seeing that she immediately put down the chopsticks, I said, "You eat, you eat, how much can the bear eat so small." ”

Anxin still put away all the dishes, and carefully put them in an aluminum lunch box. We stopped the fridge early because it saved electricity. Anxin put half a basin of cold water in the kitchen and put the aluminum lunch box into the town. She said: "No matter how good I am to my child in my life, I still owe him, and I will always owe him." ”

I said, "You don't owe him anything, you've saved him several times, what do you owe him?" ”

An Xin didn't speak for a long time, and suddenly said: "He is so young, he has no father." He grew up and asked me, what do I say? ”

I said, "Just tell me the truth, what's there?" ”

An An sighed, her face, which was still like a little girl, seemed to have some old wrinkles, and she said, "Then he must hate me!" ”

I walked into the kitchen and stood behind Anxin. Somehow, I suddenly said, "Then let's get married, and I'll be the father." ”

This is the first time we have ever mentioned the word marriage. Anxin lowered her head to wash the dishes, but she didn't respond.

"You don't want to talk about that, do you?" I asked.

Anxin still lowered his head and washed the dishes.

I said, "Then even if I didn't say it." ”

Anxin's movements stopped, and she suddenly turned around, hugged me hard with her wet hands, twitched all over, and began to cry.

Yang Rui...... How can I have the face to talk to you about marriage, I am a person with children, and I am worthless in front of you. You are kind to me, take me in, I will not be able to repay it for the rest of my life...... I've ruined the Iron Army, and I can't wronged you anymore. I really didn't want to marry me, never wanted you to marry me! I've thought about it, I'll leave when you find the right girl! ”

I also hugged Anxin and stroked her back with my hand to calm down her sobs. I said, "Wherever you want to go, you're the best fit." In my eyes, you are the best woman, I like it inside and out, and I still think I am not worthy of you. I haven't mentioned marriage because I'm afraid you haven't forgotten the old things, I want to wait until I mention it, anyway, we're still young. ”

She was still holding me, and we hugged for a long time in the cramped kitchen, where I couldn't turn around. An Xin sniffled and said, "I don't lie to you Yang Rui, I never thought that I would marry anyone again, I just want to wait for me to grow up the child, and I will still be a policeman." I don't want to live like now, without an organization, no colleagues, no collective, as if I want food for a living! But I can't help it, I'm hiding in Tibet now, I can't go home, I can't go back to the team, I'm afraid that I'm dead, what should I do if the bear is dead, I'm not afraid of death at all if I'm not for the sake of the child now. Really Yang Rui, don't be so good to me, I really can't repay you in the future! ”

I hold peace of mind, I hold her, I hold this woman who has changed me and made me almost reborn, and I use a powerful touch to convey my love. Then I put it in her ear and said to her very softly, "I'm good to you because I need you, because I want to be with you." Just wait, sooner or later, I'll marry you! ”