I sat alone on a bench on the platform, patiently waiting for the train that arrived in the middle of the night to go to southern Germany. Except for me, there seemed to be only a few dim street lamps on the platform that could be regarded as a little breath of life, and then there was a starry sky that could be seen when I looked up.

In the dull silence of waiting for the railroad tracks to sound, I gazed at the stars and searched for all the memories related to peace of mind. From the first acquaintance in the taekwondo gym to the kiss at the station in the rain, from the lamp in my living room to the after-drinking in the Jialing Pavilion restaurant, many details were ordinary at the time, but they can be emotional in the memory.

When I reminisce about the past, I have never missed the Songkran Festival we met in Wuquan - the cheerful and lively Songkran Festival, the thrilling Songkran Festival.

At the Songkran Festival, I saw Mao Jie!

When Anxin told me that she saw Mao Jie, I thought she was a little nervous. At that time, I had already carried the empty basin in my hand to the base of the pagoda, and I looked up, and there was indeed no figure on the wide steps of the Manlong Stupa.

We walked together to the back of the tower, and in the splendor of the silver body of the golden seat, except for one or two groups of girls who splashed water behind the tower, there was no Mao Jie.

I saw that around the pagoda, in the square in front of the temple, and in the depths of the village, people were still singing, dancing, chasing and playing. The water mist poured out in the air was then illuminated by the sun, and what fell was a scene of peace and prosperity and a worry-free world.

I wiped the water droplets from her head with my hand, and I said, "Mao Jie? You're looking at the wrong person, right? ”

The surrounding hustle and bustle can be seen at a glance, and peace of mind can be seen at a glance. Indeed, there is no Mao Jie there. But she was still nervous and insisted, saying, "I saw him!" Here he is! ”

We looked up again together, looking as far away as possible, and I asked, "Where?" ”

There are people on all sides, men and women with eyes full of joy and forgetfulness of their worries. I also know that even if there is really Mao Jie, it is difficult to find him in the crowd.

Anxin pulled me and walked briskly down the base of the tower, out of the crowd and mist. She dragged me back along the river from which I came. I asked, "Aren't we going to play?" "I asked this to show that I really didn't take "Mao Jie" seriously.

Anxin stopped, looked around, gasped and said, "Hurry up and find a phone!" ”

We ran again, looking around for the phone, and we were running in the direction of the train station. When the roof of the train station came into our sight, we suddenly saw a patrol car parked across the road, and we all ran to it.

Several patrol officers were drinking water and chatting in the car, and after listening to An An's incoherent report, they didn't know how to react for a long time. An An breathless said: "Quick, over there, there's a murderer over there, you go and arrest him!" It's over there at Manlong Temple, and he's probably running away by now......"

I stood aside, trying my best to show the composure that a man should have, and added an explanation for Anxin: "That person's name is Mao Jie, about twenty-three or fourteen years old, and he seems to be about the same height as me......

The police thought we were a pair of frightened children, so they comforted us in an adult tone: "Don't worry, don't panic, you speak slowly." Don't be afraid, what the hell is going on? Who killed whom? ”

What the hell is going on, who killed whom, and where to start? I see peace of mind, peace of mind also open my mouth. She said, "Do you have a phone?" ”

The patrol officer said: "We have a police phone, and we don't borrow it casually." Where are you going? ”

Anxin said, "I'm going to report the crime." ”

The patrol officer said, "Report the crime? You can just report it to us. If you report the crime, you have to make the situation clear, which one do you say is a murderer? ”

Anxin said: "I am from the anti-drug brigade of the municipal bureau, please let me use the phone, I want to find the anti-drug brigade!" ”

Several patrolmen looked at each other, and none of them believed it. The patrol officer at the head asked, "Are you from the anti-narcotics brigade?" Do you have documents? ”

After digging for a long time, I took out my ID card. The patrol officer took it and looked at it: "He Yanhong?" He smiled, "It's an ID card, this can't work." Do you have a police ID? ”

An Xin paused for a moment and said, "I'm retired now, and I'm not in the anti-drug brigade now." However, this fugitive was wanted by the anti-narcotics brigade in the past, and the situation should be told to them immediately. ”

The patrolman looked at Anxin suspiciously, and then said, "You wait. After saying that, he got into the car and dialed the car phone on the car. An An and I were standing outside the car, and we didn't know who he was calling. It didn't take long for him to get out of the police car, still holding his reassuring ID card in his hand, and said, "What the hell are you doing, huh?" The anti-narcotics brigade has never had such a person as He Yanhong. ”

Anxin said: "You tell them, my name is Anxin, you ask them if there is one named Anxin before!" ”

The patrol officer looked at her ID card: "Aren't you called He Yanhong, why are you relieved?" ”

Anxin said: "You just ask them, you ask them if they have it." ”

The patrolman instructed another younger companion and said, "Call again and ask if they have a ...... What is it called? Peace of mind, the safety of the public security? What about the heart? A heart of red hearts? ”

The young patrolman quickly got into the police car, and after a while he came out again, saying:

"Yes!"

The older patrolman glanced at Anxin with some confusion and got into the police car again. He didn't know what he had negotiated with someone from the anti-narcotics brigade on the phone, and when he got out again, he signaled to get into the car with peace of mind.

I got into the car with peace of mind, and I stood outside the car alone. Look at those patrolmen, and those patrolmen look at me. One of them asked, "Who saw the murderer?" Is it her or you? ”

I pointed to the car, meaning her.

The patrolman asked, "Did she see clearly?" ”

I couldn't say it either, so I had to say, "She said she saw it clearly." ”

"Why can't you tell if you see it clearly?"

I have nothing to answer.

Anxin got out of the police car with the old patrolman. The old patrolman said: "Then so be it, there will be a train back to the city after a while, and you can still catch it." ”

Anxin's face was not relaxed at all, and he thanked the old patrolman with a heavy heart, and whispered to me: "Let's go." ”

We walked towards the train station, our clothes still half-wet against our skin. The hair has basically dried under the sun, but the shoes and socks on the feet are the most slow, and it is very uncomfortable to rub on the feet. On the way, Anxin told me: Captain Pan asked for leave to go to Dali, and Captain Qian and a Captain Wu from Lijiang switched and had just been gone for half a month. The one who answered the phone just now was Captain Wu, who was not familiar with anything. Captain Wu couldn't figure out the ins and outs of the Mao Jie that Anxin said on the phone, so he asked Anxin to go back to the city and come to the anti-drug brigade for a face-to-face interview.

We watched in silence all the way back to South Germany as we watched the scenery outside the train window. The bright and amorous scenery when you come becomes boring when you return.

Back in the city, Anxin was going to go to the anti-drug brigade with me, but when I was halfway there, I was not worried about the bear, so she asked me to go back to the hotel to see the bear first. I went back to the hotel first, and she went alone from the anti-narcotics brigade.

I went back to the hotel and went to the nursery to see the bears. As soon as I entered the door, I saw the little bear sitting in the corner, crying with tears in his eyes. I asked my aunt, "Ouch, what's wrong?" When my aunt saw me coming, she sighed with relief: "Ahem, you are back, this child has been crying since noon, and he has to find his parents." Maybe I'm tired of being here, I miss you, we can't coax you no matter what. I think he must have thought that you threw him away, and didn't want him anymore, and he cried so sadly......"

I picked up the bear and asked, "Is it the bear, you think we threw you away?" Thought we didn't want you, huh? ”

Little Bear couldn't speak, but he nodded. The habit of crying was still on my face, and my two little hands were tightly wrapped around my neck, which touched my heart, and I found that this child was only two years old and had already known how to love others and let others love him. I think that the need for love expressed at the age of two is probably related to peace of mind, and it has to do with the child's own experience. It is said that a person is born with the ability to feel the outside world, and everything that stimulates his nerves and brain will be recorded in his neurons, which will affect the way he reflexes and expresses emotions when he grows up. Babies who have been stimulated by suffering and seen too much of their mother's tears grow up to be either cold and irritable, or fragile and tender.

I came back before dark, and I told her the story of the bear missing his mother. This story has a strong sense of ** color and mother-lover complex, this complex let me describe it with adult psychology, I thought it could make peace of mind greatly moved and surprised, but peace of mind did not. Her face was solemn and her mood was low, she said Yang Rui, let's eat early today and go to bed early, and we have to leave early tomorrow morning.

I was bored all of a sudden, and asked, "What did they say when you went to the anti-narcotics brigade?" ”

An Xin shook his head and said, "Lao Pan is not here, and Lao Qian is gone." The new Captain Wu didn't know much about the situation, that is, he listened to me and asked me if I was wrong, whether it was a psychological effect, or if it was an illusion. I don't even know if I'm wrong. Maybe I'm really wrong. ”

I said, "This kind of thing, since you have reported it, they should only believe what they do in the police business, not what they don't." Do they say they are ready to do anything? ”

She shook her head again: "What can be done now?" Nor can they scatter people out into the mountains and seek them out in all the wilderness. ”

I think so.

That night we had a casual bite to eat at the small hotel, and I bought some fried bait shreds from a small shop outside, a Yunnan snack made from rice, and brought them back to my room. When I came back from buying bait, the bear was already asleep in bed. He's been out and about these days, he's been overexcited, and now he's finally exhausted his energy. Anxin and I sat side by side on the edge of the bed and ate bait, and the food was tasteless. After eating, they were speechless. I packed up my lunch box and chopsticks and sat on the bed in a daze. I said, "What about us, what are we doing?" Anxin said, "Don't do it." She didn't want to talk much, so I shut up and stood in front of the window looking at the mountains. It was already dark, and the mountains could not be seen clearly.

We went to bed early that night. I didn't feel sleepy, and I didn't feel sleepy when I wanted to be at ease. But in cohabitation, sleeping with the lights off is a way to be alone. People sometimes need to be alone. Anxin was silent all night, and only I could understand the reason for her silence. Mao Jie's appearance—whether it was a reassuring illusion or not—made her turn the page of her life that had already turned, and that page was unbearable. I lay down beside Anxin, trying not to roll over or touch her, as if interrupting her pain and anxiety at this time was also a kind of harassment. I wanted to say two words of comfort, but when I think about it, every word that comes out of my head is a scratch in the boot, and it's a drop in the bucket. An An was thinking about the past, and she had a lot of sadness and hatred in her heart. When people are happy, they often long to get together with relatives and friends to share, and when they are sad, they are often willing to hide and bear alone. Few adults want others to see the scars and grime on his heart.

I thought I should give Anxin the space to be alone and miss her deceased lover and think about their old life. The more time I spent with Anxin, the more I felt that I wasn't the opponent of Zhang Tiejun. I am not as mature as Zhang Tiejun, not as dedicated as Zhang Tiejun (rest assured that I used to be a playboy), and not as knowledgeable and literary as him (if people who study engineering do not do their jobs, they are always not as extensive in knowledge as those who study liberal arts). What's more, Zhang Tiejun is her first love! First love is always unbeatable, always unforgettable, and always irreplaceable.

Until the dead of night, even the muttering insects in the grass and tiles under the window were silent, and I still didn't close my eyes. I don't know how late it is at the moment, I don't know how long we've been tossing and turning in the dark. I listened quietly, thinking I was asleep, but then there was a small noise from the bed, and I wondered what she was doing. I turned my back to her and heard her roll over, followed by her body gently leaning up and gently leaning against my back. I was amazed to feel that her body was **! The warmth, softness, and smoothness on her skin, the satin-like grinding, didn't make my body react immediately, but she trembled and whispered back, "Yang Rui, I love you!" "But it made me ** crazy! I couldn't help but move. I let her hold it motionless. One of her hands slipped under me, and the other wrapped around my chest, gliding gently over my skin. Her hands were so thin and thin, so thin and thin that I felt that my chest muscles were extraordinarily open, open enough for her to swim around. The hands caressed my breasts and lower abdomen, not going deeper. I know that Anxin**, very sexy but never trivial, those lowly and ** actions are always done by me. I do it, she doesn't dislike it, she can do whatever I do, and she can accept it. Her submissive appearance sometimes makes me unable to tell whether she is willing or enduring, happy or painful. But no matter what it is, I long for her to show this kind of crucifixion-like expression and**, that expression and** once it appears, I**rush!

I finally couldn't help but turn around and hugged her too, rubbing her fine flesh with slow force, covering her petite face with rough kisses. I noticed that she was in tears, she was sobbing silently. Her sobs and the trembling of her limbs in every attachment to me thrilled me and convinced me that this beautiful girl, this lonely girl, belonged to me.

I want to cry too, we all have the experience of soaking yellow in tears, and this experience makes us always remember each other's kindness, which often brings us great joy mentally and even physically. In the silence of the night, beside the sleeping bear, we silently sobbed, silently kissed, and silently became one. Silently but intensely, we wanted to melt our own ** skin into each other's bodies, so we quickly found the peak of happiness, and it lasted for a long time. We were all sweating and wet. Wheezing for a while, I was about to pull out, and Anxin immediately hugged me, she said Yang Rui, please, stay inside, stay a little longer, I like it.

I said, "Okay."

We still hugged each other tightly and touched each other. I rubbed my lips against the tip of An's nose, earlobes, cheeks, and eyebrows, and I used the tip of my tongue to caress her eyelashes and eyebrows. It didn't take long for us to burn again. This time we all watched attentively and repeatedly the slightest impulse and rush of pleasure to the top, and we controlled the pleasure until it spiraled out of control.

We were tired, gasping for breath without hesitation, flattening down, looking at the thin layer of moonlight on the ceiling, and lying in silence. I don't know how long it took, we couldn't help but look at each other, and I smiled, and Anxin smiled. I leaned over and kissed her softly on the cheek.

"Do you still want to cry?"

My voice was like a whisper. She didn't answer, her eyes shy, childlike. She kissed me gently, too, and we wiped each other with our lips and felt the edges of each other's faces and the softness of our skin. We replace language with physical communication. Language is extremely redundant and cumbersome at this point.

I found that the shyness of peace of mind was so similar to the shyness that the bear often made on his face. This discovery made me feel warm and interesting. I couldn't help but look up and look at the bear sleeping inside. I was taken aback by this, I didn't expect that the bear had woken up at some point, and was staring at us with a pair of dark eyes, silently.

I quickly pushed Anxin: "Look-" Anxin looked back, and was also startled, she quickly turned over and asked softly when he woke up? Why don't you sleep? Do you want to pee? Wait a minute. I guessed from Anxin's unnatural tone that she was probably blushing a little in front of her son.

The bear mumbled something sleepily, and Anxin responded to his question in the same tone, and they all spoke softly. I got out of bed, put on a pair of shorts, walked out of the room, and walked to the bathroom on the side of the hallway to wash myself.

It is a toilet that doubles as a bath, with both a urinal and a triple plank-separated shower head. I pulled the lamp rope at the door, but the light was not on, but fortunately, the moonlight poured out of the window like mercury on most of the wall, and everything around me could be seen clearly. I unscrewed the nozzle in the middle, and the water was rushing and pouring on the ground with a loud bang, and in the quiet night, in this empty old building, it seemed very loud and loud. Although the night is very deep, the water in the sprinkler still retains a little warmth during the day, and it is extremely comfortable to wash on the body, which is very relieving. I let the water hit the muscles in the back of my shoulders straight away, and it was like a massage. Amid the sound of water, I heard the bathroom door open and creak, and I tilted my head and listened for a while, but there was no movement again. I called, "Peace of mind? "No one responded. I turned off the faucet and stepped out of the shower partition. I saw that the quiet bathroom was empty, and the moonlight was still there. The only change was that the wooden door, which had been closed when I entered, was inexplicably open.

I dried myself in confusion, put on my shorts, and walked out of the bathroom to look around. Upstairs was quiet and no one. The hallway was dim, except for some light refracted around the bend at the end. I walked to our room in the dark, and halfway through it I heard a strange noise again. The sound was soft, coming from behind me, as if someone was quietly following me. I look back, and there is still no one. I walked on and walked to the door of my room, always feeling a little suspicious. Before entering, I tilted my head from side to side again to look at the sides of the corridor, and at this time, my gaze froze as if it had been burned, and I saw a black figure reflected in the refracted light on the ground at the end of the corridor. I hurried into the house, walked to the bed, and said to Anxin, "It seems that there is a person outside, always wandering upstairs." Anxin said, "Yes, maybe it's someone on duty at the hotel." ”

She said this, but put on her underwear anyway. She said, "Is the water cold, I want to wash it too." I took the flashlight out of my backpack, made a bold gesture, and said, "Go, I'll go with you." "I got out of bed with peace of mind, shorts and shorts, like a little girl who was just halfway developed. She said, "No, I'll just go myself." ”

I still walked out of the house with her, and then looked around the corner, the dim light was still refracted, but the figure was gone. I turned on the flashlight and sent her to the bathroom, and when I entered the bathroom, I looked for the lamp rope with peace of mind, and I said, "The lamp is broken, you can use this flashlight." "I left her the flashlight and saw that she was going to undress, and I came out.

I walked out of the bathroom, and as soon as I turned around, I saw a dark figure behind me. I subconsciously shouted, and I didn't even know that I was struck by something before I shouted. I have been playing volleyball for many years, and I have practiced taekwondo, and I am agile and have always reacted quickly, and I tilted my body and dodged my head. This flash may have saved my life, and I was struck in the shoulder. The force was so great that my shoulders slumped down, and the whole person was taken down, and I collapsed on the ground at once.

But my consciousness was still awake, and I could see the dark figure step over me and push open the bathroom door and go inside. I tried to grab his leg but didn't hold it, and I shouted, "Rest assured—" I used all my strength to shout, and my wounded shoulder and ribs almost fainted with the pain.

As soon as I finished shouting, I received another blow on the head, and countless Venus stars exploded in front of my eyes, and then it was pitch black. I vaguely felt that I was still conscious, I was still conscious, and I could feel that my face was sticky and wet. But his eyes were completely blind, and he lost his hearing and his limbs froze.

The remnants of my consciousness sent fragments and vague information into my injured brain, and I felt as if I felt peace of mind rush out, and there were a few chaotic punches and kicks with the black figure at the bathroom door, and then a man fell hard beside me. I suddenly regained my sight, and I could see that the man who had fallen was not at ease, and I was running quickly down the hallway in the direction of our room, my hearing awakened by the sound of a series of rapid running on the old wooden floor in the hallway. My consciousness returned to my limbs, and I crawled up like crazy, my legs limp, but I threw myself at the black shadow who was up almost at the same time as me, and we both fell again in the bathroom doorway. I had no strength, I was confused, I was kicking, tearing, biting, every muscle in my body was straining. But soon, the guy got up first and kicked me, several times in a row, and one kick was in my stomach, which was very heavy. The hand I had been holding on to his clothes let go. Then another kick came to my head, and my head slammed into the ground like a cauldron, and in an instant I couldn't hear anything again, and this time I fell into a complete coma.

For the first time in my 23 years of life, I know what a coma is.

Later I also learned that I was in a coma for more than a minute. In the course of more than a minute, the guy who kicked me unconscious chased me to our room, met An Xin who was about to rush out at the door, and the two fought again. An An Yi kicked his dick, although it was not serious, not injuring or fatal, but it made him take several steps back, so that An Xin was able to slam the door shut. He closed the door and went straight to the only small window in the house, and outside the small window was a chaotic plantain forest. No sooner had her hands climbed the window than the lock of the door was kicked by the guy from the outside. Anxin obviously didn't have a chance to climb out of the window again, so she had no choice but to dodge under the bed, and as soon as she got under the bed, the door was kicked open. When the man came in and saw that there was no one in the room, his first reaction was obviously that he had jumped out of the window, because the moonlight on the window seemed to be the only striking and life-like thing in the hut. He rushed to the window first and looked out. There was no one outside. At that moment, he heard a noise under the bed.

The guy crouched down and looked under the bed. It was dark under the bed, but he obviously still saw Anxin, because Anxin's gaze was still in his eyes for two seconds, and Anxin could see that he also had a gun in his hand in those two seconds. The man straightened up, jumped on the bed, stood on the bed, and pointed his gun at the place where Anxin was hiding. It was around that moment that I woke up at the door of the bathroom.

I heard a deafening gunshot in our room, and bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! There were five rings in total. The gunshot after gunfire almost broke my nerves. I burst into tears, no tears, no sound, but this heartfelt cry activated my nerves and blood! I struggled to my feet, holding on to the wall, and staggered towards the room. I know that I, like Anxin, will die today! But I still swayed my numb body and walked towards that room, I was going to die! I'm going to die with Anxin! I'm going to fight hard! I will not escape! I don't want to run away at all!

I finally reached the door of the room, and the door was wide open. I saw a stout man lying face down on the messy bed. Thick, sticky blood spilled from beneath him, soaking through the thin mattress on the bed. Later I learned that in the five gunshots fired just now, four bullets blasted open his chest and abdomen!

My legs could no longer support my body, which was getting heavier and softer, and I collapsed, prostrate on the floor, and I held my head hard, seeing the peace of mind under the bed. She lay on her back on the floor, gasping for air in horror and looking at me with tears in her eyes. I stretched out a hand to pull her out, but she looked at me for a long time before she trembled and stretched out her hand. We couldn't reach it, and I struggled forward, my fingertips touching hers, and we both seemed to draw strength from the touch of our fingertips. Anxin crawled out from under the bed, her clothes stained red with blood dripping from the cracks of the bed, she hugged me trembling all over, her voice was intermittent because of trembling:

Yang Rui...... I, I killed Yang Rui......"

I couldn't speak, I just nodded at her and smiled at her, and I used my nod and smile to tell her that she was amazing!

Anxin knelt beside me, holding my face with trembling hands, and asked me, "Are you hurt?" Are you okay? You're all right, right? ”

I shook my head to indicate that I was fine, and I asked her in a voice so faint that only I could hear her, "Where's the bear?" ”

Anxin was stunned for a moment, got up and rushed out the door, but turned around and picked up the pistol on the floor without rushing out the door. Her neurotic look made me realize that the bear was gone.

I know this fight is over, and Anxin and I are still alive. Later, I also learned that it was Mao Jie's brother Mao Fang who died in our bed. Mao Jie must have come too, but none of us saw him. He must have burst into our house during our fight with Mao Fang, and took the bear away without seeing Anxin.

Anxin kicked down Mao Fang and ran back to the house to see the little bear, she was almost crazy at that moment, she just wanted to go out to find him quickly, but Mao Fang blocked the door and had to retreat into the room. At the moment of life and death, she suddenly remembered the pistol in her travel bag, which had been stuffed under the bed when we went out in the morning, so she was relieved to get under the bed. A second before Mao Fang was about to shoot, she opened her travel bag, and pulled out the gun and fired, the five bullets piercing the bed board, and the first four were all sent into his thick abdomen and chest before Mao Fang had time to fall.

Mao bled and splattered five steps and died in bed. Anxin went out with a gun, but he couldn't find Mao Jie and Xiao Xiong. There were also a small number of guests staying at the hotel, and no one dared to go out of the room when they heard the gunshots. Two hotel workers who were guarding the door and keeping vigil came out to probe their brains, and in the courtyard downstairs, they met Anxin, who had a gun in his hand and blood on his body, and fled in fright. An Xin rushed out of the yard and rushed out of the gate, and on the street in front of the door, there was no human figure, except for the broken broad leaves of the banana trees swaying in the wind, there was hardly a living thing. The moonlight was white and bright, silently watching at Anxin and at the entire empty street.