The disagreement between Anxin and Captain Pan is both ideological and age-based. They are two generations. I have always believed that there is one of the most important differences between the current era and the past era, and that is that the worldviews of young people, middle-aged people, and old people are completely different, and the difference is huge!

By young people, I don't mean the kind of alternative people called "new new humans", but young people in the general biological sense, such as Anxin and me. We are also orthodox, after one or more workplaces of vocational training, we are not the kind of idle, wandering, life fragmented ** enthusiasts, nor are we those problem teenagers who treat their bodies as a rag, only value their own feelings, as long as they are happy. Since we were children, we have been like those middle-aged and elderly people, at least not inferior to them, familiar with all kinds of theories and slogans of socialism, communism, and patriotism, as well as the four cardinal principles, five stresses, four beauties, and three loves, but we are still different from them. Except that we have to make the same expression and the same action on certain occasions under the dictates of discipline, law and group, we are almost different from the previous generation, from the inside out, to the two very different people.

The argument between Anxin and Captain Pan in that small room seems to be transactional, but in fact it is definitely related to their age and differences in worldview. Captain Pan did not agree with the Nande Public Security Bureau to issue a marriage certificate to Anxin, and he believed that the Nande Public Security Bureau, whether as Anxin's work unit or as her real household registration, was not suitable to appear on the public documents of Anxin's marriage procedures. Although Mao Jie's case has been in transit for more than a year, and it seems that there is no real danger, this is a regulation, this is an organizational regulation. As a formally protected person, no one can disclose her identity without the approval of the higher-level public security organs. In addition, Captain Pan also strictly forbade Anxin to continue to use the name Anxin: "It's already wrong for you to use this name in Beijing, and it's even more wrong to write it publicly on the marriage certificate." Why didn't you hand it back at that time? You should hand it back to the Political Office of the Bureau for safekeeping. If I make a mistake and approve you to marry under this name, I will be making a mistake, and besides, I have to go to the political office of the city bureau to open a marriage certificate, and I can't open it with a nod. ”

Anxin said: "Aren't you very familiar with the director of political prescriptions, you go to him and tell him that issuing a marriage certificate is not a big deal, and it is not a violation of the four basic principles." After I got married, I can support myself and never make trouble for the organization anymore, I hate living a life so incognito and mysterious! ”

Lao Pan said: "Director Fang also does not have this right, you took protective measures only after the discussion and approval of the Party Committee of the Bureau and the filing of the Political Department of the Provincial Department, Director Fang is engaged in political work, and should be more principled and disciplined than me, how can it be possible to destroy the decision of the superior organization by one person in private?" Unless the party committee of the bureau discusses this matter again for you, and removes your protective measures and cancels your identity as a protected object, then we will give it to you. Isn't it just a certificate, isn't it just getting married, we will stamp it to prove that you are currently unmarried and single, that's a very simple matter! ”

What Captain Pan meant was that this certificate still had to be opened in Beiqiu, and he could report the situation to the Political Department of the Bureau, and let the cadres in charge of this matter in the Political Department say hello to the Beiqiu City Public Security Bureau. The marriage certificate still has to use the name He Yanhong. In addition to the fact that Anxin always does not use a pseudonym according to the regulations, Lao Pan also criticized her behavior of running to Nande without asking for instructions, Lao Pan said: "You are not a member of the anti-drug brigade now, nor are you an active policeman, I don't want to say anything more about you, if you are still a member of my team, I have to take you well, I have to let you go back to me immediately today, go back to Beiqiu and go back to Beijing!" ”

Anxin was a little aggrieved, and even, a little angry. She said in a low mood: "Haven't you been slapping me, you have been slapping me for a long time, from last night to now." I used to think that I had a good impression of you, but now I know that you hate me so much. I don't even know what kind of person will make you happy! ”

Lao Pan stopped talking, was silent for a moment, sighed, and said, "I went over, there was a colleague, I remember that I seemed to have told you. It was a colleague I knew when I was working at the Shamao Prefecture Public Security Bureau, an anti-narcotics cadre of the Kunming Municipal Public Security Bureau, who used his disguised identity to do intelligence work in a case and became friends with several drug traffickers. They dragged him into the drug business, and he did it with them, which was kind of hitting them inside. Later, even foreign drug cartels trusted him. The provincial government sent him to open a gas station next to the Shaxi Highway, and the drug trafficking organization used this gas station as a base, and he used this base to send us information. This stronghold is very close to Shamao. I was responsible for contacting him at the Shamao District Public Security Bureau. We have been cooperating for eight years, and we have solved many big cases in other provinces. In order to cover himself and not reveal his identity, this comrade has not fallen in love and married for eight years, and has not interacted with his past relatives and friends incognito for eight years. He was a native of Qujing, and the province sent someone to quietly take his parents from the countryside of Qujing to Kunming to live in Kunming as his friend, and he only returned to Kunming to see his parents three times in the past eight years. Even his parents thought he had gone to the sea to do business. It wasn't until he died eight years later that everyone knew he was such an unsung hero. Don't worry, I'm not advocating that you don't get married or don't associate with anyone, your situation is not the same as his, I tell you that this person just wants to talk about a person's quality! This man was only thirty-five years old when he died. In this life, he was very great, very noble! He was younger than me, but I admired him very much. In my life, there are not many people I really admire, and he is one. ”

Anxin was not as impressed by the deeds of the companion who had died incognito and finally died, as her captain had hoped. She said calmly: "Captain, I also admire such a person, but I can't learn from him, I don't want to live like him." I'm a woman, I need to get married, I need to have children, I need to be with someone who loves me, I need to go home often to see my parents, and I have to take care of them when they are older. I want to live a normal life, to live a normal life as an ordinary person. Captain, don't ask me to be so high, I may not be born to be a great person, a noble person. All I want to do is be an innocent person, a happy person. I'm satisfied, that's enough. ”

Captain Pan silently listened to the "life monologue" that was easy to talk about, he didn't say a word for a long time, and his expression of loss looked a little lonely. Finally, he nodded, but said in a dumb voice, "Okay, I understand." ”

Captain Pan's appearance, his dull and old demeanor, made Anxin feel a little unbearable. She didn't want the captain to be disappointed in her, she didn't want the captain to feel sorry for what she had just said. She said, "Captain, do you think I've changed, I've changed, I've changed?" ”

Lao Pan shook his head and said again: "I understand your thoughts." He paused for a moment and added, "You have been in a big city like Beijing for so long, and the young people in the big city are all living another life, thinking another, I can understand it." ”

After he finished speaking, he looked at his watch, and made a sign that he wanted to leave, and he asked Anxin: "I'll go to the political office today and ask them to help you call Beiqiu, when do you plan to leave?" ”

Anxin said: "Tomorrow, there will be a train to Beiqiu at half past eight tomorrow morning." I left early in the morning. ”

Captain Pan took out a red cloth bag from the leather bag he was carrying, put it on the bed, and said, "I'll lend you this thing for a day." Today is the Songkran Festival, my mother-in-law is from the Dai ethnic group, I took two days off to go back to Dali, it was the noon train. I'll call someone here tomorrow morning to pick you up and take you to the station, and you can just give him this." ”

Anxin picked up the red cloth bag and opened it to see. She knew what it was before she opened it.

It was a half-new "64-style" pistol, and she recognized it with peace of mind, the one she was wearing.

Wrap the gun in red cloth again. Originally, she wanted to say no, but she was afraid of hurting Lao Pan's kindness again, so she accepted it. As Lao Pan said, perhaps because she has lived in a big city like Beijing for too long, she now feels a little funny about the commonplace "atmosphere of struggle" and normal vigilance in the border areas.

She sent Lao Pan down the hallway. The houses on this upstairs are all separated from the back, the corridor is long and tortuous, she turned two corners and walked more than ten meters to get Lao Pan to the staircase. She said to Lao Pan: "Captain, I know, I made you angry today, I failed to be the best kind of person in your mind, and let you down." I didn't mean to, don't hate me in your heart. ”

Lao Pan stood down, looked down and thought for a while, looked up at Anxin, a rare kind smile appeared in the corner of his eyes, and he said, "You are already very good." You want to live a normal life and enjoy a little family happiness, it's all right, don't think it's a bad thing, don't feel bad. The guy I'm talking about, that's a very individual example. It's just that when I think of him, I feel sad. I hope you can understand me too, that's how we feel about people. I am very happy that you said today that you also admire such a person, and that you also admit that his life is great and noble. Really, you're much more sensible than that son of mine. This kind of thing didn't move my son, and when he heard about that man, he said that there must be something wrong with that man's head......"

It was Lao Pan's words that made Anxin a little moved. At least, there was a very intimate feeling, like the feeling that Lao Pan had always had in her mind.

Lao Pan smiled bitterly and said, "I have been reasoning with my son since I was a child, telling these stories. Now it seems that it is useless to talk too much. ”

Anxin sent Lao Pan out of the hotel all the way, and Lao Pan left. Anxin stood at the door of the hotel in a daze. I also saw the back of Lao Pan Weihun, he was wearing a dark gray plain clothes that had been washed, his hair was very thick and messy, and his back almost looked like a peasant who had worked for half his life. If I hadn't known him with peace of mind, if I had met such a person on the bustling streets of Beijing, I would have regarded him as a peasant from other places, as a kind of countryman who was far, far away from us.

I and peace of mind, back to our room. An An took the initiative to tell me the content and results of her conversation with Captain Pan. I was silent, and I had no objection to returning to Beiqiu early tomorrow morning.

Anxin saw that I was expressionless, thinking that I was still saving face for last night's disgrace. She took the bear from my hand and asked me in a careful tone, "Do you think it's troublesome?" I can't help it, people who work in public security are so rigid......"

I said, "It's okay, anyway, we're going to travel this time." If I don't go to Kunming, I can't see the stone forest, and if I don't come to Nande, I can't see the Songkran Festival. Do you have a Songkran splash here? Would you like us to go out on the streets? ”

Anxin thought about it for a while, and said that Nande's annual Songkran Festival was not in the city, and it was all held in Wuquan. When I was working here last year, I went back to Guangping during the Songkran Festival, but I didn't go to Wuquan to see it. I heard that there was a dragon boat race last year.

Wuquan! I am already familiar with the name Wuquan in Anxin's story, so I really want to see Wuquan when Anxin talks about it, not only for today's Songkran Festival and the possible dragon boat race.

Anxin didn't want to ruin my fun, so we took the bear downstairs to the "nursery" and entrusted the bear to the two aunts again. There were no other children in the "nursery" today, and the two aunts were chatting with boredom, and they immediately smiled when they saw the bear coming. Anxin asked the aunt why the two children didn't come, and the aunt said: Their parents took them away. We don't have any guests in the hotel today. People who come to travel have moved to Wuquan to live today, there is a Songkran Festival, you can catch up with the pendulum, it is more fun than here, so they all went to live, and you are left here. Won't you go to Wuquan to have a look? Don't you want to catch up with the pendulum? Anxin said yes, but we'll be back in the afternoon, and we'll have to go early tomorrow morning. I asked Anxin what it means to catch the pendulum, and Anxin said: It is to catch the market. There are all kinds of cultural and entertainment performances on the displays, and there are stalls to sell things, which is similar to the meaning of you northerners rushing to the temple fair.

When I heard this, I was very happy, and urged Anxin to hand over the bear to my aunt quickly, and then go up to "say goodbye" to the bear first.

I supported Xiaoxiong, and there was one more thing that I couldn't support, that is, the "64-style" pistol that Captain Pan lent to Anxin for self-defense. Peace of mind dare not be placed in the guest room, and it is too heavy to carry around. And when we go to Wuquan, we are afraid that people will splash water, so we can only wear a thin single clothes, and there is nowhere to hide that thing. Of course, I have a love for guns that every man has, so I proposed that I help her tuck me without fear of sinking, but Anxin flatly refused. She said, you don't understand this thing, don't accidentally go out of the way again. She hesitated, but finally hid the gun in one of our handbags. The handbag had a lock on it that could be opened with a hard tug, and she pushed it deep under the plank bed in our room, and then straightened up, feeling safe. She smiled at me and said, "Alright, let's go." So I went on my way.

Anxin has only been to Wuquan once, but that time may have been too impressive, so as soon as I left the hotel, I was like a guide who took me to get familiar with the road. I sat on the train to Wuquan and saw the rolling hills and the water-patterned terraces on top of the mountains as I had been in the past. In the terraced fields in April, there is no one to harvest them. I also saw a few white clouds as fluffy as cotton, floating on the top of the mountain. The sun is shining. White clouds and sunlight make the landscape outside the car window like a complete watercolor painting, no more, no less.

The absence of the bear highlights the honeymoon even more. The beautiful scenery outside the window was set off, and I talked freely with An Xin all the way. Anxin told me about the story of the unsung hero who had been incognito in the enemy for eight years with a gas station on the side of the Shaxi Highway, which had just been told to her by Captain Pan, and which led to a discussion between her and me about the noble and the great. We're close in age, so there's a striking convergence of views on this issue. Like Anxin, I have reverence for the spirit of that unsung hero, but reverence does not mean that we should live like him. As for what is sublime and what is great, we have also made an analysis of the righteousness of hope, believing that the sublime is to sacrifice oneself for others, and to sacrifice one's life for righteousness; Greatness is to make meritorious contributions and manifest themselves in others, or to shine on others despite their unfulfilled achievements. From this point of view, the sublime and the great are beyond the reach of the nature and ability of most ordinary people. But the sublime and the great do not exist because of this, and they have no value, and they are not aspired to, and we are not moved by the silent dedication of the unsung hero. We couldn't do it, but we were moved. When we are moved, it is possible to imitate bit by bit in our future lives, at least to increase the heart of kindness, compassion, dedication, and fraternity. In this world, kindness, compassion, dedication, and fraternity cannot be less, and no matter how little, this world will be too bad.

We are moved, and at the same time we understand why Captain Pan's son is not moved, because the sublime and the great were too overflowing and false in the past few years. Asking everyone to be noble and great, artificially creating so much nobility and greatness, obviously not moving people much, but asking you to say that you have been moved by the sublime and great, finally turned people's moved hearts into disgusted hearts. It is legitimate that people hate what is false. To avoid the sublime is essentially to avoid falsehood, to avoid what he cannot or does not want to do or is not even moved. This evasion is sometimes indiscriminately evaded even the true sublime greatness, a bit of a nausea, a nausea that does not even move people with what could have moved. The sublime and the great have become something that people avoid and are one of the tragic phenomena of our time. Anxin has a stronger heartache and regret and resentment about this than I do.

From this point of view, Anxin still has more heroic complexes than me. I'm more practical than she is in this regard. I believe that it is a step forward to admit that human beings are inherently selfish, and at least a big step forward from insisting that everyone should establish communist ideals and the spirit of selfless dedication, and that the norms of social life, the norms of interpersonal relations, and the mechanisms of economic operation should be formulated in accordance with these ideals and spirits. There are heroes, but they are certainly in the minority, and they are produced in specific circumstances and under certain conditions. If you're not in this environment, and you don't have these conditions to imitate the hero's deeds, the motivation is funny, and the effect is definitely not much better, and the side effects are even more obvious. That is, everyone has learned to create different masks for themselves. These faces are: moving, angry, **, happy, sad...... And so on and so forth, so that people can show emotion when they are not moved, show anger when they are not angry, show ** when they are not, laugh when they are not happy, cry when they are not sad...... I've seen a lot of this kind of phenomenon!

From Nande to Wuquan is equivalent to from Beijing's Guomao Bridge to Tongxian roundabout, and it is only half an hour away by train. Therefore, it is impossible to discuss the topic of the sublime and the great for too long, and besides, it is too far away and too metaphysical from our real life, from the fleeting beauty outside the window that moves in front of our eyes, so if the discussion is too persistent and endless, it will inevitably give people a sense of expansiveness, artificiality, and even falsehood. Moreover, since we know that it is not easy to do the noble and the great, the ideal and the dedication, we still blindly sing the praises of it, praise it, and acknowledge its existence and value, don't you feel embarrassed? In particular, the small traders who have just finished praising the sublime and greatness and immediately go to the Wuquan Songkran Festival to bargain with the vendors who set up stalls to sell goods for a few cents and do not blush, isn't the praise itself also very dirty and trivial? I remembered that there was a girl who lived downstairs in my house and was also a college student, and she was tired of playing the piano at home all day and annoyed her neighbors, knocking on her door to tell her to be quiet, and the girl scolded her when she stood in the hallway and quarreled with her neighbors. If a man blushes when he scolds, she can scold without stumbling at all. scolded to death, and in less than half a minute when she came home, she was able to play Chopin immediately, which was incredible. I don't know the piano, so I can't tell if she plays well or badly. But I knew that Chopin's music was noble and romantic, so I thought the girl had no heart.

The topic of sublime and great is automatically stopped when the train arrives at Wuquan. As soon as Anxin and I walked out of the station, we were immediately infected by the assimilation of the festive atmosphere that came to our faces. The street is very crowded, with a continuous stream of pendulums, and the eyes are full of bright women with flower umbrellas. The dress of the Dai women is not known to be elegant or gorgeous, the short clothes on the upper body are mostly light monochrome, and the tube skirt under the pattern is fancy. Most of the hair styles are tied in a bun and decorated with flower arrangements. If you don't arrange flowers, you can get a comb, and it's the same. I especially admire the dresses of the Dai girls. I think that among the 56 ethnic groups, the clothing of the Dai nationality can best reflect the beauty of women's form. The blouse is short and the waist is exposed, and the skirt is long to the ground.

We followed the flow of people and squeezed towards the river along the same route that Anxin had taken when he first came. On the side of the Wuquan River, at this time, it was already three floors high and three floors low, and the walls were full of people watching the dragon boat race. We stood in the back, looking at the back of our heads and backs, and we couldn't figure out if the race on the river was going on or hadn't started yet. We walked along the pedestrian wall by the river for a while, and when we saw a stall selling flower buns, we bought one by one. I followed the example of others and rounded it a few times with the rope on the flower bag, and then threw it towards the place where the girls were crowded. Anxin glanced at me and said that throwing this is a courtship, don't throw it around. I said then you throw it too, which man do you have a crush on? Anxin said that I don't throw it away, I want to keep this bag and take it back to the bear to play, this bag is very good-looking. I said, "Oh, it's been a long time since you really loved your son Yasuo."

At this time, the singing voices can be heard not far away, and it is not clear what is singing, but the harmony and neatness of the voices are a bit like the level of a professional art troupe. In the midst of the song, a loud noise was suddenly heard, and a long bamboo pole spewed thick smoke with a whistling sound, piercing the blue sky. Anxin said: "Let go high!" I asked what "let go of the ascension", and she explained it like this, to the effect that it was similar to the ceremonial flowers and two kicks that are put on the Han festivals.

We walked along the river, and not long after walking, we saw a singing and dancing performance in a field, which was really professional. Cockfights and bull plagiarism were also seen. Finally, walk all the way to the Manlong Temple, which is said to be very famous. The name of Manlong Temple is famous, and after reading the introduction in front of the temple, I know that the name is in the Manlong Pagoda behind the temple. The base of the Manlong Tower is coated with gold, and the body of the tower is coated with silver, which is very good-looking. There is a large open space in front of Manlong Temple, and a small village is connected to it, and we walked here to really enter the site of "splashing water".

There are many people splashing water and playing with each other here, mainly young people, but also middle-aged and elderly people. Out of nowhere, the music was playing with a flat melody, and the music seemed to be just a melodic background for the men and women at the Songkran Festival. Anxin and I stood aside to discuss whether to participate in the fun, if you don't participate, it seems that you will come for nothing, and it is not easy to catch the Songkran Festival. But if we participate, our clothes are wet, and we don't know when we can do it, but how can we go back? While I was hesitating, a girl suddenly ran up to me and poured a basin of water on my head, and I was as wet as a chicken in soup from head to toe. Anxin clapped her hands and laughed gloatingly, and before the laughter fell, she was splashed more thoroughly, and the laughter came to an abrupt end. We looked at each other, first without saying a word, and then suddenly shouted in unison and rushed into the crowd, each looking for something to hold water and "splash" it.

We picked two plastic basins, and there were many large pools of water that had been set up improvised to hold water, making it easy to draw in. We started by throwing each other at first. Later splashed those who splashed us. Later see who splashed whom. This is the first time I've seen Anxin so happy, so happy, so like a child, since I met her, she has always been a restrained and suppressed look, her expression has always been very inconsistent with her girlish appearance, until today I can see her original smile.

I'm laughing too! My back hurts from laughing!

It was much later that I remembered that the laughter I dreamed of on the Hawaiian beach was in front of the Manlong Temple in Wuquan, and on this day of Songkran, I and Anxin had never been indulgent.

Splashing and splashing, the two of us were separated, and no one could be found. Anxin was really crazy, and I later saw her chasing people and splashing them in the pile. Her last basin of water was poured on a tall young man who was walking towards the Manlong Tataki, and a full basin of water was poured on the clean back of the man's head and broad back. The man slowly turned his wet face and stood on the steps of the tower and smiled condescendingly.

I saw that Anxin's body suddenly stiffened, and he took two steps back, and the plastic basin in his hand fell to the ground with a clatter. The man did not stop, but turned and walked behind the tower. Anxin shouted, so hoarse that I didn't hear what she was shouting. I saw her lunge at the man's back, but only a few steps up the steps before she was swept away by a large group of men and women running out from behind the tower with empty basins and rats. Behind the group of men and women, another group of young men with a whole basin of water poured down from the stairs with a large number of young men carrying a whole basin of water...... After the group of men and women all "ran out of ammunition and food" and retreated down the steps, Anxin looked around wetly, and on the base of the entire Manlong Tower, except for her, there was no trace of anyone in an instant!