The train to Qingmian in Yunnan Province departed from Beijing West Railway Station at 11:05 p.m., and Liu Minghao dropped me off at the train station and put me on the platform.

Dinner was eaten at Liu Minghao's house, and Liu Minghao's new wife, who was Beibei's cousin, went out to watch a movie and never came back, so we drank a bottle of Wuliangye that we couldn't tell if it was true or not, and we were able to talk nonsense with a mouth full of swear words and a mouthful of wine. Mainly listening to the news of Liu Minghao's acquaintances in Beijing, I also talked about the clothing, food, housing, and speculation of Chinese people in the United States. When I was about to drink, Liu Minghao suddenly got up and left his seat, took out a thick envelope from his bedroom, and put it in front of me without a sound. I opened it and looked, and sure enough, as I guessed, the envelope was money, 20,000 yuan that had just been retrieved from the bank and had not yet opened the seal.

Liu Minghao blushed, I don't know if it was because of the wine or because of the crampedness that was not common to him, as if he was not giving money, but receiving money. "Brother, you know that my marriage is really like a bankrupt family, from a small landlord to a poor farmer. Your sister-in-law doesn't have a rich father like Beibei, but she still has to learn to play music like Beibei. It's also strange that I used to brag with her about it, and she thought that my company was as good as Zhong Guoqing's company, ×. We spent 30,000 ...... on our wedding meal alone Now with 20,000 yuan, I'm really tired here. ”

I pushed the money back and said sincerely: "I didn't ask for the money you gave me last time, and I can't ask for it this time, it doesn't make sense for me to ask for this money......"

Liu Minghao pushed the money back and interrupted me: "This time is different from last time, aren't you going to find peace of mind this time, where do you still have money if you leave Beibei." Now you don't have a job, you have to carry some money on your way to Yunnan. You don't have to beg Zhong Ning again. ”

I pushed the money back again and smiled: "I still have a little money, I'll look for you again when it's really broken." ”

Liu Minghao lowered his head, I understood what he wanted to say and what he wanted to express, but I couldn't break it for him.

"Yang Rui," Liu Minghao raised his head, but his gaze avoided me, "I know that you haven't reached the time of the break, this is one of my intentions, and now I feel quite sorry when I think of you......"

I smiled: "I don't even think about the past, you still think about it, forget it, let's look forward to the future, the future is always good." ”

We finally clinked glasses and drank up the little leftovers, I wish Liu Minghao a lot of wealth in the future, I wish him to be kind to his wife, and I wish him not to let his wife hold it. His wife's ferocity is a bit like Zhong Ning. Liu Minghao wishes me a smooth journey, wishes me all the best, and wishes me to find peace of mind soon, and then peace of mind...... What should I do, what should I do!

We went out into the streets, and there was a wind on the street, and the bitterness of the wind reminded me that it was the harsh winter season in Beijing now. The wind also lets us know that we are a little drunk. Liu Minghao vomited and vomited in front of his car. I said are you okay, or I'll hit "yes". Liu Minghao shook his head and said it's okay, it's okay, he also hugged me crookedly, and said angrily: My good brother, I have to send you on the train!

The streets are full of lights, Beijing is really good now, and Beijing at night is more prosperous and lively than Los Angeles. How is Beijing worse than those developed countries? When it comes to eating, drinking, playing, shopping, and high-rise buildings, it's not bad anywhere! If you want to say that it is bad, it is dirty, and then there are too many people, and the streets are full of black people! In terms of the environment, we really have to count Europe and the United States.

At this time, I began to imagine that I was going to the place called Qingmian. What is that place like? In the south of Caiyun, there are probably green mountains and clear waters, and outstanding people are spiritual! Who said that there is no place with a beautiful environment in China, if Qingmian is not beautiful, where can such a beautiful woman be raised!

Liu Minghao got into the car and blasted the engine very loudly. The way he drove didn't show that he was drunk at all, he just talked a lot. He said that I really didn't expect you to be so strong to a woman in the past, I really convinced you Yang Rui!

I said, "Aren't you paying attention too, or why don't you get married?" ”

Liu Minghao laughed: "Oh, I'm different from you, I'm almost a round older than you, and if it drags on, my mother has to be anxious with me." ”

I said, "In the past, I was always afraid of being entangled by a woman, but I didn't know it before, and it was another feeling to concentrate on liking someone, and it was good to find out now." It feels like another thing to like someone intently, and to be liked intently by someone. ”

Liu Minghao smiled teasingly and squinted at me: "What smell?" ”

I thought about it for a long time before I burst into a smile: "Fake Wuliangye taste." Aren't you raising the bar, can you still tell the taste? ”

Liu Minghao said: "Peace of mind to you, single-minded? Didn't she have several boyfriends in the past, how much do you know about her? Do you really know her that well? ”

I didn't answer that question.

I know it used to be a problem for me.

Rest assured, how much do I know about you? How much do I really know about your past, about your experiences, about the men you've dated?

I know, in addition to Zhang Tiejun, the son of the president of the university, there is another person, and that is Mao Jie, who I told me about the night I went to the Cultural Palace to find An Xin to apologize.

The reason why I can remember that night accurately is because Zhong Ning accompanied her sisters to Inner Mongolia that day, and I also went to the airport to see them off, and then I went to find Anxin. I brought peace of mind to my home. Still in my small, messy living room, still sitting on her knees on the carpet with her back to the sofa, she told me about Mao Jie.

For that Zhang Tiejun, Mao Jie is a third party. Although Anxin did not use the word to describe her relationship with Mao Jie, it is clear that Mao Jie is Anxin's lover.

I didn't see Mao Jie's photo, and Anxin said that she didn't have Mao Jie's photo, but she said that he was very tall and handsome. Perhaps it is this that makes him shine under the figure of Zhang Tiejun.

Anxin first met Mao Jie late one night in Nande, when she was hungry and walked into a snack bar on the way back to her dormitory. There were a few men in the snack bar who had drunk too much, and when they saw a single girl coming in, they came up and talked nonsense. A short man asked her if she was singing, and she said that you recognized the wrong person, and I didn't sing. Several other men immediately coaxed, saying that what kind of stand are you putting up, isn't it just a singer, what dare you not admit. Ignore them with peace of mind and bow your head to eat a hot soup rice noodles. The short man simply sat down next to her with a hippie smile and said: Sister, sing one, sing one, brother, I'll pay. His face was a little unorthodox so close to peace of mind that his mouth was full of wine. Anxin lowered his head to eat rice noodles, and without squinting, the man actually bent down to look at Anxin's face, and commented, saying that his skin was still really white. His accomplice laughed. The guys in the store were all far away and didn't dare to come out, except for another customer who was eating in the store, no one dared to meddle.

The customer, a young man in his twenties, stepped forward and said, "Hey, don't bully people, what kind of ability is it to bully a little girl!"

Several villains were stunned, and they were stunned for a moment to see the situation clearly: the other party was alone and weak, and he dared to play a hero to save the United States. The stout man picked up a half-drunk bottle of beer and threw it over, and the young man ducked his head, but he didn't dodge completely, so that the bottom of the bottle was on the side of his scalp, and the bottle exploded on the wall with a thud, and the sound and the blood gushing from the young man's head pulled Anxin up from his chair. She didn't want to get entangled with these drunks, she wanted to hurry up and eat a few more bites and go back to the dormitory, but now she couldn't leave, because there was a righteous and courageous bystander who hung up the color for her, she couldn't not be angry with the enemy, and she couldn't walk away like a nobody.

This brave young man is Mao Jie.

Mao Jie's grievances diverted the attention of the drunks, and they turned the target of drunken madness to Mao Jie, and they fought with Mao Jie. In fact, it would be normal for Anxin to take the opportunity to escape at this time as an ordinary girl, and she could be regarded as being rescued, but she didn't run. After a few seconds, Mao Jie and the drunks who made trouble all knew that she was a master of taekwondo!

I didn't see that scene, and if I make a lens-based inference from Anxin's simple description, it probably looks a bit like a Hong Kong and Taiwan fight movie. Because I had learned Anxin's whirlwind "back swing legs", I knew she wasn't bragging. The power of the "back swing" has been constantly exaggerated by my later impressions, like a thunderbolt of lightning. Those men were already drunk, of course, they were vulnerable, and they were knocked to the ground after three or two blows, and some of them tried to struggle to fight back and were not convinced.

The owner and helpers of the snack bar, as well as Mao Jie, who had seen an uneven road, were all stunned. And Mao Jie may have fallen in love with peace of mind at that moment. This was originally a very vulgar story, but the plot of "Heroes Save Beauty" became "Beauty Saves Heroes" in the end, and "Beauty Saves Heroes" is relatively rare.

The next thing that should happen is that Anxin wants to take Mao Jie to the hospital, but Mao Jie doesn't go, he asks Anxin to send him home, and his home is nearby. This is a bit different from the incident between Anxin and me one night, when I was injured by Anxin and went to the hospital before she sent me home.

Anxin went to Mao Jie's house, and after arriving at Mao Jie's house, he helped him bandage his head. Mao Jie's face was bloody, which made Anxin look soft, but after washing off the bloodstains, he found that fortunately, the wound was not deep, and the situation was not as serious as imagined.

Mao Jie's home is an independent courtyard, and this kind of "three rooms, four ears and eight feet" courtyard is a symbol of affluence in southern Germany. But the furnishings inside Mao Jie's house, in Anxin's view, are somewhat a bit of a pile of poor people, disorganized, lacking a sense of coordination, and it can be seen that there is money and culture. Mao Jie said that his parents were in business, and his brother was also in business outside. He didn't look for a job after graduating from high school, he had been idle at home for three years, and sometimes he helped his parents run a business, and his life was quite boring. Although it was the first time they met, Mao Jie took out various photos of his childhood without seeing him at ease. An An looked at it with great interest, and it could be seen that his family was very poor when he was a child, and it can be found from the clothes and home changes on the photos that Mao Jie's family situation has improved significantly after he went to high school, that is, in the past few years. Mao Jie has only grown in the past few years, and the longer he grows, the more beautiful he becomes, so his photos are also concentrated in the past few years. While flipping through the photo album, Anxin persuaded Mao Jie that he should still find a serious career, or learn something while he was young, and don't waste his youth. Mao Jie nodded and said yes, saying that he thought so too.

Mao Jie's parents have already slept, his brother has not lived at home, a huge yard, more than a dozen houses, only he and Anxin muttered and whispered. As a result, the night seemed warm and peaceful. This tranquility made An An feel very comfortable, and she had a good impression of Mao Jie. This is perhaps the reaction of any girl of Anxin's age - the unexpected appearance of a handsome teenager in her life, who stands up for her, is a kind of tale that, although cheesy, can open up certain fantasies that all girls have hidden in their hearts. Therefore, when Anxin bandaged Mao Jie's wounds and did not rush to leave, she sat down to look at Mao Jie's photo album, and drank a glass of milk that Mao Jie made for her that was said to be calming and suppressing shocks, and when she finally got up and said goodbye to leave, Mao Jie insisted on sending her home, she did not refuse.

Mao Jie's home and Anxin's dormitory are both in the north of Nande City, but they are separated from east to west, and it takes more than half an hour to walk. The two of them walked along the damp and deserted streets of southern Germany, and the topic was light-hearted and pleasant. Mao Jie is introverted and doesn't seem to be good at talking, but his expression on Anxin is always excited and focused, which makes Anxin feel happy. This may be because Tie Jun is not by her side. She didn't have a home here, she didn't have a relative, she didn't even have a friend of the same age. In Nande, she lived a miserable and lonely single life.

The topic of conversation among young people is always romantic and lofty, and they walk in the streets and alleys with dirty water, talking about personal ideals and the future of humanity. They asked each other about each other's life aspirations and also informed them of their goals. They even want to influence each other, as if the two are already a pair of friends who are important to each other. Anxin knew it felt a bit ridiculous, they had just met, but she didn't correct or stop the wonderful feeling spreading between them.

Anxin first published his design for the future, which seems to be realistic in every aspect, but when added together, it can't help but look greedy. She said that she plans to work at the grassroots level for a few years to accumulate more practical experience, and then go to school and graduate school. Then, there is a warm family. Then, have a child, preferably a girl. Also, practice taekwondo well. It's best to take advantage of your youth to win a provincial championship or enter the top 10 of the country or something, and when you are old, take out the gold medal to see, it is a comfort to yourself, and it is a show off to future generations. There are so many things that Anxin wants to do, and if a woman can really achieve all of the above goals, it is simply too spectacular and overwhelming. For example, just having a child may be able to entangle all a woman, so that you can't do anything else and don't have the heart to do anything else. Once a child is born, it becomes the subject of her life for a woman, overpowering everything. Children almost make a woman omit herself. Of course, this is often unforeseeable for women who have not yet given birth, and peace of mind is no exception.

But Mao Jie's ideal for the future is extremely simple, that is: rich! He believes that he will definitely make a lot of money in the future! An An would like to inspire and guide him: Money is important, but can money replace all your happiness? Are you unambitious? Don't need a sense of accomplishment? Don't you need a good love? Mao Jie was very serious and said eloquently: Yes! Career, achievement, love, I all need it, but to get these you have to have money, and with money you have the freedom to choose everything. Mao Jie said that he hated the sad face of running around all day long to make a living.

Anxin felt that Mao Jie's logic was a bit messy: without a career and achievements, how could he have money? Career and achievement are not exclusive to money, on the contrary, they are the conditions for earning money. She figured out that Mao Jie probably longed for the phenomenon of getting rich overnight. It's no wonder that this phenomenon is not uncommon in society, including in small places like South Germany. It is close to the Golden Triangle of Opium Heaven, and has always been the "golden channel" for tens of thousands of tons of drugs to flow to the mainland and overseas. Yes, drug trafficking is the most profitable, and you don't need to have skills, as long as you have guts! What do you do?

Anxin used this most extreme metaphor to stunned Mao Jie, he was stunned for a long time and finally smiled and whispered to Anxin:

"What do you want me to do? I'll do it if you want me to do it! I'm not afraid to take risks for you! ”

This time he was stunned, Mao Jie's voice and expression, of course, have exceeded the scope of ordinary friendship, and it is a bit ambiguous. She pretended to be sluggish and smiled, and said, "What are you doing for me, you should earn money for yourself, for your parents, are you right?" ”

Mao Jie still smiled, then walked with his head down, without answering.

His words before, his silence afterward, were reassuring to hear, it was a courtship. She also got careful and consciously stopped the heated discussion. They listened to their clear footsteps in the streets at night, as if they were continuing to talk in their hearts. Anxin feels that it is good to have a friend of the same age, a friend who can talk to each other, and it feels very simple. From Anxin's later account to me, I could imagine that in that small border town, under the calmest moonlight, there was a pair of youthful young people walking silently, and the footsteps were both confused and ethereal, a bit like their mood at that time.

They walked to the dormitory of peace of mind.

Anxin's dormitory is divided into units, and I went to see that place later, and it was in a large area of high and low stilted buildings on the bank of the Nanmeng River. The stilted building was the first classic residence of the Zhuang people in Yunnan, because it was built by the water, so the living platform was supported by long wooden pillars to prevent moisture. Judging from the imagination of our northerners, living on it has the pleasure of a pavilion in the air and a pavilion on the water. I haven't stayed there though. From the introduction of Anxin, I know that the stilted building was built in the sixties of the twentieth century, and it is no longer a traditional bamboo and wood structure, replaced by bricks and stones, with a sense of "liberation" in appearance, and the house is plastered and whitewashed, and it is easy to carry out modern decoration. Although the dormitory is only more than ten meters square, the window is the clear water of Nanmeng, and you can see the bamboo rafts coming and going on the water and the kapok trees burning like sunset on the opposite bank. In the distance, there would often be a faint sound of drums, and Anxin said that she couldn't tell whether it was the water drum of the De'ang family or the elephant's foot drum of the Dai family. Sometimes when the drum sounds, there is a mist on the surface of the river, which paints everything near and far...... If you weren't there, don't imagine it, because the sound and the sight are certainly much more moving than you can imagine.

When Anxin brought Mao Jie to the dormitory, it was already four o'clock in the night, and politely, she should have let him into the house to rest for a while, drink saliva and then leave. Mao Jie entered the house. Anxin poured water for him, but he didn't drink it, and looked around the room. The warm little mood arranged by a single girl made the boy a little fascinated. Every girl's unique knick-knack seems to be a kind of flirtation for Mao Jie. Finally, a few minutes after entering the house, he was relieved. He gasped and muttered something in her ear:

"You're okay with me, I promise to give you the best life possible!"

Years later, Anxin told me about this night, and she said that it was an irreparable mistake for her, and she said that maybe she needed something too much for that moment. What does she need? A girl is alone in a strange town, going to and from work every day, going back to the dormitory to read. Except for a month, Tie Jun was able to come from Guangping far away to see her, and make love to her on stilts for two days, and then she still had to guard this loneliness by herself. A girl like a flower, she needs too many things. I can understand her state at that time. The kind of thing that happened between her and Mao Jie didn't disgust me, and it didn't make me unacceptable.

Since then, the situation between them has been a bit troublesome for Anxin, and Mao Jie has to go to this stilted building almost every night to find Anxin. may be because of the passage of time, when Anxin talked to me about this two years later, she was very frank, and she did not admit that she and Mao Jie had done it twice, but the contradictions and self-blame in her heart became stronger and stronger. She didn't want to be sneaking around with Mao Jie like this anymore. Especially every time Tie Jun came to see her with all kinds of nutritious food made by his mother, she would have a lingering sense of guilt. She compared Tie Jun with Mao Jie, Tie Jun's appearance is far less handsome than Mao Jie, and he does not have Mao Jie's wild passion. But he is steady, single-minded, and mature, and from personal experience to cultural accomplishment, he is more compatible with peace of mind. After reason prevailed, Anxin decided to break up with Mao Jie as soon as possible, and let it end as soon as possible.

Before she could figure out how to speak, Mao Jie opened her mouth first. He ran to Anxin's dormitory late that day and wanted to do that, but Anxin refused. She said Mao Jie, let's stop like this, it's not a way to go on like this, it's not good for anyone.

Mao Jie was holding Anxin's hands up and down, and when he heard her words, he stopped and looked at her without saying a word. An Xin was about to continue, but he interrupted her sharply:

"Okay, let's get married, I'll marry you!"

looked at Mao Jie's face with peace of mind, that face was so beautiful. She knew he meant to her. She wants to break up with him but doesn't want to hurt him, she doesn't want to say that we are not suitable, you didn't even go to college; She didn't want to say that I couldn't stay in Nande for long, and I couldn't find a partner here...... She didn't want to say anything that might stab Mao Jie, she could only use the trick of confession, she confessed herself to Mao Jie.

She said: "Mao Jie, I have a boyfriend, and we are both engaged......

She wanted to talk in detail about her relationship with Tie Jun and Tie Jun's family, but as soon as she finished saying this, Mao Jie's face changed. Even, Anxin didn't expect it, he was stunned for a long time and suddenly shouted when Anxin was about to continue: "Don't say it!" Then he jumped out of bed, slammed the door and left!

His reaction startled Anxin, and it was this fierce reaction that filled Anxin's heart with apology. This made her realize once again that Mao Jie was serious about her. It was she who deceived him and hurt him, even though it was Mao Jie who took the initiative.

Later, she wanted to call Mao Jie or write him a letter, but she didn't know what to write, and she didn't dare to face the embarrassment of talking to Mao Jie. She thought that Mao Jie was angry, so she stopped paying attention to her and stopped looking for her. That's fine, let him hate her for the rest of her life, she also knows that it's impossible for anyone to hate for the rest of her life. Time is the most powerful digestive agent, and it can dissolve all the unforgettable things into nothing.

In this way, I spent a period of self-condemnation and uneasy conscience, and my heart was tortured, and I didn't think about tea and dinner for a few days. The Chinese were originally the most lacking in the spirit of repentance, because repentance is the product of the original sin theory of Western religion, and the Chinese do not recognize the original sin, so there is no need for repentance. But she sincerely repented. She just repented, not regretted breaking up with Mao Jie, because she knew that she had to, could only make such a choice.

After two weeks, she was calmer, her heart was no longer as uncomfortable as before, and she thought that everything was a thing of the past. But at this moment, Mao Jie came again. It was late that day, he knocked on Anxin's door, and as soon as he entered the house, he hugged Anxin tightly. He said: "Don't worry, you come with me, I have money, I can support you for a lifetime!" You quit your job, and we can get out of this place. ”

Anxin let him hug him for a while, which represented her apologies for Mao Jie's late expression. But she said: "Mao Jie, I don't want to resign. I'm not like you, I put my career first. If it weren't for my career, I wouldn't have come to this small city in southern Germany. ”

Mao Jie let go of her, and he could hear that the reassuring tone was serious, thoughtful, unchangeable, and unquestionable. He blushed, panted, and said, "I thought you cared about me!" ”

An Xin wanted to explain, she wanted to have a good talk with Mao Jie, even if she admitted her mistake and begged him for forgiveness. She moved the chair and tried to pull him to sit down, but before she could speak, Mao Jie suddenly shook her hand away roughly, his whole body was trembling, and his voice trembled uncontrollably.

"I thought it was ...... You care about me! ”

He couldn't explain and apologize, slammed the door, ran away again, and since then, he has not come to Anxin again. But when he ran away, Anxin cried somehow, because Mao Jie had brought warmth and happiness to this hut after all.

This is the story that Zhong Ning told me about another boy in her life on the night Zhong Ning went on her honeymoon with others in the Inner Mongolia Prairie. This story is nothing special, but its ending makes me feel a little inexplicably regretful, and I even have a little sympathy for the unlucky and innocent Mao Jie, although I have nothing close to him, but in my subconscious, for some reason, I feel that kid is a bit like me.