I know that the Third Ring Furniture City is on the side of the West Third Ring Road, and I have the impression that it is not too far from the Shangri-La Hotel. I usually drive the Third Ring Road and often see its big and timidity signboard, but I have never stopped to enter.

In front of the Furniture City Gate, along the auxiliary road of the Third Ring Road, all kinds of cars are parked, and there are several groups of people moving furniture in and out. I thought business was good, but when I went in, I found that there was a huge furniture showroom with all kinds of furniture crammed and few customers swimming in it. In most furniture stalls, salespeople sit on the sofas for sale and chat, or sleep on the executive tables that don't sell. As I walked inside, the salesmen stopped chatting, looked up, or stared at me with a tiger's eye or a sleepy eye, until they were convinced that I was not interested in stopping, and then they reverted to their free and lazy form.

I searched hall by hall, ploughing back and forth through the furnishings. Finding the second hall, I finally saw peace of mind. She was in a stall selling bedroom furniture, looking into the distance and wondering what she was looking at, maybe she was just idle. I really convinced Liu Minghao's vast magical powers, there is really nothing in the world that he doesn't know!

I walked into the booth and pretended to look at the furniture. The products sold here are made of wood and have long been outdated, and the head of a double bed is still wrapped in artificial leather, which is not pink or red, and it is too timid to be timid. Anxin found that a customer had arrived, so he hurriedly came over and followed me to sell her a bunch of "timidity". She spoke fluently, her voice soft, and she spoke Mandarin more authentically than when I first met her, but the sales pitches were all clichés that I had long been tired of hearing elsewhere.

"Does the gentleman buy furniture?" - This is nonsense - "We are all solid wood furniture, the real thing, look at this wood grain ......" - I think she really doesn't understand, good furniture doesn't have to be solid wood, and the bigger the wood grain, the less good wood - "Our bedroom furniture is now 7% off, but if you get married, we can give another discount......"

That's when I turned my head to look at her.

Her words came to an abrupt halt, her eyes widened in surprise, and we looked at each other for almost half a full minute before she opened her mouth in a daze, her voice suddenly becoming both rigid and mechanical: "...... If you get married, you can get a 50% discount with your marriage certificate. ”

I looked at her seriously and said, "I'm not married." ”

She paused, as if she couldn't find what to say at this point, so she followed what she had just said: "Then you, are you here to buy furniture?" ”

I shook my head, "No." ”

She tried her best to be professionally polite, saying, "It's okay if you don't buy it, you can just look at it." ”

I said, "I want to talk to you." ”

She replied very coldly but politely, "I'm sorry sir, I'm at work right now." We have a rule that we can't make small talk with guests during working hours. I am different from you Beijingers, and it is not easy for me to find this job. ”

At this time, another customer passed by, she said sorry again, please forgive, and left me to greet other customers, still the same set of "genuine" sales pitch, and her voice returned to normal vitality. I stood silently for a moment, then silently left her stall and walked towards the door.

I sat in the car on the side of the road, waiting for her.

Two hours later, the sun was setting in the west, and the Third Ring Furniture City closed for work. Anxin finally walked out of the door among a group of salespeople selling furniture, everyone scattered, Anxin walked south alone, I started the car and followed.

That night, I took the car to the Jialing Pavilion restaurant, hoping that Jialing Pavilion would bring us some common memories and sentimental words. Although reminiscing about the past is obviously unlikely to be the subject of this evening.

Compared to two months ago, Anxin is visibly thinner and pale, which makes people feel distressed. Emaciation and pallor are both signs of hardship, and tribulation can make a person appear nobler, more beautiful, and even, sexier. I looked at the still pure face and wanted to say I love you! But I didn't say it. I just asked in detail about her experience over the past two months. I was desperate to know how she had survived the sudden blow.

Anxin was more calm than I expected, she didn't complain or curse, and she wasn't even interested in talking about this "bad thing" again. Her tolerance and calmness touched me, but at the same time made me feel more ashamed and blamed.

"I didn't find a job for a month, so I was a little anxious, and then I worked in a small restaurant for two days, and then I went to the Third Ring Furniture City. I was introduced to a regular customer who often came to our restaurant for dinner, and he was a salesman in the furniture factory. ”

I saw that she was quite satisfied, so I smiled and was happy for her. I asked, "Are you really not angry that they framed you like this and fired you?" ”

An Anxin smiled: "There was a face-to-face person who said that I had many disasters when I was young. When I thought about it, it was all fate, and it was useless to be angry. ”

I said, "You shouldn't accept your fate, if you are wronged, you still have to fight on the basis of reason, and if you really can't do it, you can sue them." They can fire you by fabricating facts, why can't you defend your legal rights? ”

An Xin said lightly: "I'm just a temporary worker, they want to fire you, what can't be said." If you want to add to the crime, there is no excuse, it is useless for me to sue, let them go, anyway, they don't write it in the file. ”

I was infected by her attitude to life with what she encountered, so I smiled and asked, "Yo, do you also have a file?" ”

Unexpectedly, this sentence stunned her for a moment, she smiled faintly, then turned her head to look out the window, and said to herself:

"Right now, I just have to find the kind of place that doesn't need files."

What she said, and the expression on her face when she said it, were strange, as if there really was some "historical problem". The question in my heart is inconvenient to reveal directly, so I can only probe in a joking tone:

"Yo, have you made any mistakes before, do you have any shady records in your file?"

The reassuring gaze retracted and fell on my face again, and she said, "The biggest mistake I made was not already told to you. ”

"What a mistake, why don't I remember."

Anxin looked away again, she said: "My biggest mistake is to have that kind of relationship with Mao Jie. ”

Every time Mao Jie is mentioned, her face always dies, which makes me truly realize that this is probably the deepest pain in her soul. I blurted out the conjecture that suddenly flashed through my mind:

"Because of your affair with Mao Jie, that Zhang Tiejun left you, right?"

Anxin turned to look at me, and there was something shining in her eyes, but she grinned and smiled stiffly. I could see that she wanted to be silent, and at the same time I heard her confirm my inference in a barely audible voice.

"Yes."

Neither of us spoke anymore, and I could fully appreciate the reassuring sadness and loneliness. I can further infer that she should still be nostalgic for that Zhang Tiejun, otherwise how could she still not be free!

We were silent for a long time, and I have never been very good at comforting people, so I somehow managed to ask the question, "Did you ever have a boyfriend again?" ”

Anxin replied very clearly: "If you don't count it, no." ”

I can't tell whether I'm happy or sad for this answer, how can I call it not me, don't I count? But if you think about it, this answer at least shows that she put my relationship with her in a special position.

I avoided the topic and asked casually, "Not long after I met you, I went to look for you and saw you with a man in his forties and fifties at the intersection. I think you seem to know each other very well, but it's not a general relationship anyway, so I didn't call you, for fear of disturbing you. ”

An Xin asked suspiciously: "When, who?" "I gave a rough picture of the man's appearance, and he was very old anyway. An Xin nodded suddenly: "Ah, it's him, that's one of my best friends." ”

Best friend? What does best friend mean? I didn't want to ask directly, so I had to take some malicious sourness and say: "Yes, I thought he was your father, his age, and you are old friends." ”

Anxin didn't answer, only a faint smile at my vitriol. Her failure to answer seemed a bit unusual in itself. Her faint smile was even more ambiguous and suspicious.

I then asked, "I received the money you repaid me two months ago, and it was sent from Nande, Yunnan. Who sent it? Is it someone in your family? Isn't your family in Qingmian? ”

An Xin said without evasion: "It was sent by my friend, his surname is Pan, did he write his name?" ”

I said, "No, it's your name." It seems that the relationship between the two of you is really not ordinary, and they are so good that they are inseparable from each other. ”

In my tone, there was obviously a prickly tone, but Anxin didn't know whether to play stupid or really dull, so he followed me and said, "Yes, he is really good to me." ”

I looked at her painting-like face, and it was hard to see if she was innocent or calculating. I'm only now realizing that she's a girl who can't be seen through at a glance. It dawned on me that maybe it was precisely this that kept me obsessed with her.

When we came out of Jialing Pavilion that day, I wanted to find a bar to sit in, but then I didn't go. First, because Anxin said that he had to go back early if he had something, and secondly, I was afraid that there were too many acquaintances in the bar, and if someone ran into three or two passes and spread to Zhong Ning's ears, it would be another storm.

I drove Anxin to an intersection not far from the Third Ring Furniture City on West Third Ring Road, and got off the bus with Anxin. I insisted on sending her in, but she insisted, saying that it was difficult to turn around because of the narrow car inside. When she finally said goodbye to me, I grabbed one of her hands, put it in my palm and rubbed it gently, then brought it to my mouth and kissed it gently, she didn't refuse, but she didn't respond either.

I said, "Do you want to see each other again?" ”

She smiled and asked, "Do you still want to buy furniture?" Saying that, she gave me a business card with the business project of their furniture factory and the name of Anxin. She said, "Don't forget to take it next time, it can give you a 7% discount." I heard that you are getting married, bring your marriage certificate and I will sell it to you at a discount. But our furniture belongs to the working class, so you don't like it. ”

After she finished speaking, she wanted to pull the car door and get out of the car, but I pressed the lock button, and the car door locked with a bang. She looked back at me suspiciously. I frowned and asked:

"Who did you listen to?"

"What?"

"Who did you hear say I'm getting married?"

"Listen to what He Chunbo from the Taekwondo Club said, he came to us to buy furniture that day."

He Chunbo? I can't remember who this He Chunbo is for a while, listening to this name is obviously a person who is not very familiar with me, it is impossible for him to know my relationship with Anxin, it is impossible to learn this kind of thing about me in front of Anxin, I asked suspiciously:

"Why did he tell you about me?"

Peace of mind does not answer.

I insisted on asking again: "Did you ask him, or did he say it himself?" ”

Anxin was silent for a while, and admitted: "I asked him to come." ”

My heart warmed up, I was stunned for a moment, and then suddenly turned around and hugged Anxin. Although we were both in awkward positions in the car, I still hugged her tightly, and I whispered in her ear:

"You don't want me to get married, do you?"

I let me hold her, and even, her body is cooperating with me. But her answer remained calm with a calmness that was grossly inappropriate for her age.

"You better get married, you have a family and you are stable, if you have a child, you don't want anything. I hope you have a stable home and I want you to live the happiest life possible! ”

I was moved by her words, especially the last two sentences, which made me clearly hear a certain sadness in her heart from the calmness on the surface. I want to cry. At that moment, I wanted to swear to follow her away from everything I already had, and live that life of destituteness!

But I didn't say anything, I just hugged her tightly, and I felt very uncomfortable.

I know, I'm in love with peace of mind.

But I can't make up my mind to break off my relationship with Zhong Ning. It was a ready-made wealth, a illustrious career that was within reach. For men, career means success and fame and a lifetime of status and sustenance! And love, as I know, always has a moment to cool down.

Am I too cheesy? Too philistine? Too coppery?

Yes, I'm cheesy, I'm a philistine, I'm fame and fortune! But I also want to get real love, I also yearn for pure love, really, I love peace of mind!

In those days, whenever I had time, I went to see Anxin, asked her out for dinner, chatted with her, and even stood in front of her furniture stall to help her shout business. But my heart is always black, heavy, and full of contradictions. Every time I go to the Third Ring Furniture City, I am psychologically sneaky and like a thief, because I am always afraid of being met by acquaintances and causing trouble.

My relationship with Zhong Ning also returned to normal in those days. The first time we resumed contact was when my dad was crossing the street in front of my house when a taxi was chopping me up, and I rushed to Chaoyang Hospital when I found out. Zhong Ning had already arrived first, and was arguing with the driver who caused the accident outside the ward. We looked at each other both unintentionally and deliberately, neither of us spoke to anyone, and we didn't even say hello. I went to the hospital room first. My dad wasn't seriously injured, he had a little abrasion on his leg, he had already been bandaged, he had a head knock, and he needed further examination. I was asking my dad a long question, Zhong Ning hurriedly ended the quarrel and came in, helped serve tea and poured water, and instructed the nurse to take this and that, looking like a filial son and grandson. My dad was very moved, and I was very impressed. We were so busy that the hospital started to bomb people out, and we left.

When I got out of the hospital gate, it was getting late, and Zhong Ning asked me first, "Are you hungry?" I nodded and said, "Find a place to eat." So they consulted a place, and each drove his own chariot.

Then they ate together and ordered each other's favorite dishes. We were reconciled, and no one ever spoke of the past.

My distress has only been told to Liu Minghao, and I need to talk about it. Liu Minghao is the only person who knows Anxin. But Liu Minghao is also a realistic person, of course he will not encourage me to sacrifice everything for pure love, he said: "Sooner or later, the feeling for a woman will change, you can't keep your passion for a girl forever." Once a man reaches a certain age, he becomes less romantic. For us men, the relationship is a passing thing, and the only thing that can be valuable to you for a lifetime is your career! If you want a career, you have to talk about feelings, and whoever talks about feelings will fall! Really, brother, you are still too young, don't listen to the words of the eldest brother, the eldest brother said that everything else is nonsense, but this sentence is definitely a wise saying! Absolutely true! ”

I know that this is absolutely true. I know all the truth, but maybe it's because I'm still too young and haven't fully gone through physical and psychological adolescence, so I can't get rid of my longing for peace of mind. This longing always torments me all day long.

Yes, I used to pick up girls, often three minutes of heat, as soon as I got into bed, my interest immediately weakened, but this is not the case for peace of mind. Although I found a place to sleep with her a few more times later, I dare not say that I was obsessed with her body, every part of her body, but there was one thing that always excites me, and that is the spiritual attraction and the tacit understanding in the heart, the happiness of life that I have never had in my relationship with other girls. It's not a small amount of physical interaction with other girls, but only peace of mind can make my heart suddenly become loyal and kind.

Because of the peace of mind, Zhong Ning and I had a boring day every day. Small corners of the mouth are endless, and blushing and thick necks also occur from time to time. No matter how big or small, the cause and content of the quarrel are all trivial. Zhong Ning has an additional mantra for this: "You really don't look like a man!" "That's right, I didn't know to let her at all, and she didn't bother to coax her when she was angry. And I always have a grudge against her framing Anxin, so I sometimes quarrel with Zhong Ning purely because I want to vent the resentment in my heart, as if I can't control it.

Slowly, Zhong Ning seemed to know what was going on, she looked for Liu Minghao, she asked Liu Minghao who I was in this paragraph, Liu Minghao pretended to be stupid: No, you hung him for two months last time, and now he may not dare to borrow his guts. Zhong Ning said: Don't pretend for him, I don't know about you men, if you ignore your own family, then you must be soaking in other girls! I don't know your virtue, who are you!

Liu Minghao angrily called me BP machine that night and asked me to meet. I met with him in a Moscow restaurant, and Liu Minghao informed me about Zhong Ning's search for him, and he told me that Zhong Ning was inquiring about Anxin's whereabouts and whether I had hooked up with Anxin. I asked Liu Minghao how he answered, Liu Minghao said that he was still loyal and unyielding at first, and then Zhong Ning was both soft and hard, and even threatened Liu Minghao: You don't want the final payment of the taekwondo gym project, and you don't want to do the business of Guoning Company in the future. Liu Minghao is a soft bone, and finally defected and confessed a new unit with peace of mind. He explained: From Zhong Ning's words, I can hear that she already knows Anxin's whereabouts, and it is useless for me to carry it, and it is a senseless sacrifice to carry it.

When I started to hear Liu Minghao say this, I also concluded that this must be Zhong Ning's bluff out of thin air, and Liu Minghao was greedy for life and afraid of death and betrayed his friends. Later, Liu Minghao suddenly said that Zhong Ning had dug out a reassuring business card in my pocket, and this plot immediately made me speechless. Have you ever given you a business card? Liu Minghao asked me. I didn't say no, but my face turned completely white. I really regret dying, and I can only secretly blame myself for being so careless.

Liu Minghao advised me to prepare early, or suspend contact with Anxin and avoid this while. If it doesn't work again, just let Anxin change jobs and transfer safely. Liu Minghao came to me to report the situation and give advice because he didn't want to offend me, and at the time of the War of Resistance Against Japan, he must have been a "two-faced chief" who saw people and ghosts. However, I heard that at that time, most of the final fate of this kind of "two-faced chief" was to let one of them, or the Japanese devils or the guerrillas of the Eighth Route Army, be shot and collapsed!

I am calm on the surface and no longer complain about Liu Minghao, but in fact, I am up and down in my heart. Liu Minghao asked for a lot of dishes that day, but I didn't eat a bite, and listened to him say this and this in a daze, and listened to him give me all kinds of ideas. The dishes were cold, and the cream soup was congealing on the plate like a slurry, but his ideas became more and more lively and evil. He also forced me to make a comment, asking me to say how his ideas were, whether he was smart or not, and never stopped. I listened, didn't comment, and finally said just one sentence:

"Do you still eat it?"

He looked at me, was stunned for a moment, and said, "Don't eat it?" Let's go if we don't eat it. ”

We sat down and left, and Liu Minghao almost forgot to pay the bill.

I drove home, and I called for peace of mind twice on the way, but there was no reply. I drove the car to Xiangjiang Garden, and I moved back here after my dad let me take the car. When I entered the door, I saw Zhong Guoqing and Zhong Ning whispering in the living room, and when they saw me coming in, they all stopped. Zhong Guoqing stood up, looked at me with a straight face, and walked to his own study without speaking. Zhong Ning didn't look at me, didn't speak, his eyes were red, as if he had just cried. As soon as I saw this stance, of course I understood.

I didn't say a word, but went to my bedroom. Zhong Ning called me at this time:

"Yang Rui, come here, I'll show you something."

Her voice is hoarse and therefore somewhat eerie. I had no reason to ignore her, so I went over and sat down on the couch across from her.

"Yang Rui, who do you think this is?" She picked up a few photos from the coffee table and placed them in front of me, "Do you know me?" ”

I looked at those photos, my face was as calm as possible, but my heart was pounding, and my head was pounding. These are all photos of Anxin, apparently taken secretly by someone, with a dilapidated residential building in the background of the dusk, and a dizzy sunset sandwiched between the cracks of the residential buildings. I can't tell if I was embarrassed or angry, but I didn't explode, because I was shocked to see that Anxin in those photos was still leading a one- or two-year-old child.

I shivered and asked, "Who filmed this?" ”

Zhong Ning didn't answer, but asked, "Who is this woman, do you know her?" And this child, do you know it? ”

I raised my voice: "Who filmed this?" ”

Zhong Ning said coldly: "I filmed, I let people shoot." ”

My eyes reddened: "What do you want to do?" ”

Zhong Ning said: "I don't want to do anything, I just want to know who this kid is." I really can't see that this big horn pretends to be a college student on the surface, but in fact he has been a mother for a long time! The kids are about to hit the streets! ”

My eyes are straight, my lips are numb, and I can't even speak! How can peace of mind have children? Above my head, it was as if a pitch-black cauldron was pressing down. At that moment, all my memories and longings for love and happiness flashed through my head like lightning, and then, I saw them all shattered, and the sting that followed made me cry out with the greatest mad hiss:

"What the hell do you want to do!"

Zhong Ning was startled at first, then picked up those photos and fought back in a louder and sharper voice: "Who is this child's father!" Yes? Who's his dad! Yes? Is that you! Yes? ”

She threw the picture on my chest and I wanted to slap her, but I held it back. I got up and walked into the bedroom, slamming the door shut. I was almost out of breath, and I burst into tears.

Zhong Ning shouted and scolded outside: "Yang Rui! You come out for me! Get the hell out of here! You've had women and children for a long time, and you've been lying to me for so long! You still have the face to live here, are you still human! ”

Zhong Guoqing also came out of the study, first said something to his sister, and then shouted outside my door: "Yang Rui, you come out!" ”

I opened the door, and before I could see Zhong Guoqing's appearance, I was slapped heavily in the face, I was not prepared at all, I sat on the ground, I don't know if it was the blood from the tooth, or the nose bleeding into the mouth, my mouth was full of red! I didn't fight back, I think I have something to be sorry for Zhong Ning after all, so I don't fight back!

Zhong Guoqing gritted his teeth: "You play hard enough, why don't you plan to stay in Beijing!" Don't think this is the end of it, boy, you dare to come with me here, I'll kill you! ”

I got up, didn't say a word, went back to the bathroom to spit out a mouthful of blood, washed it up, and then went back to the bedroom to quickly pack my clothes and some things into a handbag. Loading those things is just a sign of leaving, and it doesn't calculate what to take with you and what you don't want to leave. Three times and two times to half full of packaging, pick it up and go. After Zhong Guoqing finished scolding, he had already gone back to the study viciously, and he didn't know who was calling loudly, probably talking about me. Zhong Ning lay on the sofa in the living room and sobbed, I strode past her, walked a few steps and turned around, took out the mobile phone sent to me by Guoning Company and the keys to my car, put them on the coffee table, and then left this gorgeous home with brilliant lights.

It was getting late, so I walked along the open Jingshun Highway in the direction of the city, and there were no taxis. No one dared to take care of me with the big trucks and the cars that pulled people. I didn't beckon anymore with luck, who would dare to stop and pull me up like a young beast at such a late hour? I walked for more than two hours, and it was almost a little late at night before I reached the Sanyuan Bridge. The wind got strong at night, and the wind kept blowing on my face, and my face was a little swollen and my face and feet felt numb.

I thought repeatedly: it's all over, it's all over.

I still wondered: Whose is that kid?

Later, I learned that Zhong Ning followed the peace of mind coming out of work from the gate of the Third Ring Furniture City that day. I followed a residential community, saw Anxin walk into a residential building, and it didn't take long for a child to come out, and when I passed by a commissary, Anxin put down the child to go shopping. The child is about a year old and can already run on his side. Zhong Ning got out of the car and pretended to tease the child, and she asked, "How old are you?" The child bowed his head and did not answer.

Zhong Ning asked again, "What's your name?" The child smiled shyly and pursed his lips without answering. Zhong Ning asked again, "What about Mom?" The child turned around and pointed at the reassuring and said, "Mother! Zhong Ning took out a photo of me that she always carried with her and asked the child, "Is this Dad?" The child nodded ignorantly. At this time, after buying things with peace of mind, he turned around and saw Zhong Ning.

Anxin recognized her immediately! Zhong Ning didn't shy away either, she stared at An Xin with hateful eyes, but her mouth opened and she smiled viciously.

She said, "You are so blessed, with such a good-looking child, his father must be good-looking." ”

Anxin didn't answer, she picked up the child and left. Zhong Ning didn't chase after her, she turned back to her car, at this time she was already pale, she had hated me to the bone, and she swore in her heart at that time that she would make me pay!

She got into the car, and there was also one of her attendants in the car, who was putting away the camera and taking out the film. She took the film and said, "Go!" ”

I only found out about this after the fact, but I also know that it wasn't a misunderstanding.

It's all my fault, I love a girl but don't dare to be with her openly, and a girl I don't love has to stay with her against her will for some utilitarian purpose. I'm a despicable man.

It's all over!

I stood on the Sanyuan Bridge, the Sanyuan Bridge was no longer crowded in the middle of the night, and the emptiness around me made me suddenly realize the magnificence of this old-fashioned overpass, with countless strange branches extending from its trunk to the east and west, bringing strings of street lamps to the distance without an end. That's when I suddenly hated Anxin. The most intolerable thing she keeps saying is that men lie, but her biggest problem is lying! She hid everything from me, knowing that I loved her, but she still stumbled on me, always halfway through the conversation, always ambiguous and vague. She knows who I am, where I live, what relatives I have, where I graduated, where I worked, she knows everything about me! Even I have a Zhong Ning, she knows it clearly, I don't have anything to hide from her! And what about her, who she is, what happened to her in the past, how many men she has loved or been loved, I still don't know, I don't even know that she has a child who has reached the age of one!

The more I thought about it, the more disappointed I became, the more angry I became, and the more I thought about it, the more incredible it became. At the beginning, I chased her because I thought she was pure, and in order to get this "pure", I completely lost everything I already had! The reason and process of my pursuit of her itself has a kind of irony, not only is she not the innocent girl I imagined, but also, how could I have imagined that she is also a mother who drags her children through the ups and downs! Maybe she can't tell who the child's father is and where he is, and she doesn't care about her, or this orphan-like child!