If youth can only be remembered, then time is the seed of memory, coming and going for four years, just like yesterday.

I realized that I had been living in W City for more than four years, and lying on the bed in my two-bedroom rental house, I was half-asleep and half-awake and fell into a memory.

Three months ago, the school held a grand graduation ceremony, and it was an honor for our Yunji band to be invited to participate in the graduation party, I served as the guitarist, and a song composed by our band "Graduation, We Don't Cry" kicked off with the melody of the keyboardist.

All the graduates in the audience were slowly driven by the emotions of the eight people on our stage, and I seemed to see the nostalgia, nostalgia and reluctance in the eyes of everyone in the graduation season, although I danced the electric guitar, I couldn't change that this was the terminal of youth.

is like the lyrics in the mouth of the heroine Xia Qing, "Let the tears wash away the past grievances and fill the beautiful regrets of the past...... This is a stop of youth, slowly driving towards the end, recalling the pictures of the past, arguing or encouraging each other....."

Through the smoke, I saw not only the parting of the same class of graduates, but also the day our campus band parted ways, which will be the last time we will play music together from the selection of freshman year to the formation of a band.

Some people chose to go back to their hometown to live and opened a piano shop; Some people choose to continue their postgraduate studies and complete a high degree of education; Some people chose to agree to the signing of an entertainment company and continue their dream of being a singer; Someone......

As the guitarist of the band, I am the last person I want the band to disband, because eight people can get together and play music, and it was all because I worked with the captain and the drummer to recruit and select people all over the campus, and it took a lot of thought to form the band.

From the initial 3 people to 8 people, it took too much effort, and I can't stop every member from choosing, after all, everyone has their own plans and their own lives.

I also know that after the performance of this song, "Gone—my youth; Goodbye, my college life, our band. ”

"Ding Dong" - the bell of WeChat rang, waking me up from that illusory dream.

I opened my phone, it was a voice message sent by the leader of my company, I hesitated for a moment or clicked on: "Yun Qian, it's not me talking about you, there are two days to your entry assessment period, two months, you will complete 4 orders in two months, you look at other colleagues, the last two days, less than 6 orders, you will take the initiative to resign and leave!" ”

The thunderous sound completely woke me up, and I didn't choose to reply, so I put down my phone and walked to the bathroom and slapped my face with cold water. Looking at the face in the mirror, full of vicissitudes, I feel more and more that this city is a little strange, and it is so difficult to walk out of the society from the campus, in fact, I have long been mentally prepared, but when I faced it, I had retreated for the first time.

"Yun Qian, what are you tossing? How can this big city be so easy to take root and gain a foothold, no relatives and no reason, go home! Wouldn't it be nice to go back to that small county town in your hometown and live some ordinary life?" I muttered to myself in the mirror.

I used to think about everything very well, and when I was in high school, I wanted to apply for art exams, study music, and become a music producer. I almost became a music teacher in junior high and high school, but at least I can do what I like every day, and I will never get tired of it.

But dreams are dreams after all, and my family doesn't support them, hoping that I will work hard to get into medical school and become a doctor, so I will inevitably have conflicts with my family at that time, and the family relationship is not as harmonious as outsiders seem, and in the end I have to give up.

Later, I chose a finance major by mistake, and at first I came to W City just to be far away from home, without the nagging of my parents, and compared with other people's children every day.

Of course, I don't regret coming to W City to go to school, because I also met a group of friends who love music here, and continue to play music together as amateur music lovers.

It's just a pity, if I had studied in a professional school at that time, I might have learned more profound and professional, and the network resources and circles in art would have been much larger.

So when I was in college, I didn't study seriously, maybe I didn't like the financial industry very much, and I lived a mixed life every day, and I was all about the band.

After graduation, some students with good conditions in their families have studied abroad; Some of them have strong professional knowledge, and when they were interns, they signed labor contracts in big banks, securities companies, etc., and lived a good and stable life.

And I am shallow, and I have always been the one who has been answered by others in class, and the bowl of rice in the financial industry is destined to be unacceptable.

When I got to the bedroom, I looked at the electric guitar hanging on the wall, it was lying there quietly, it seemed to be asleep.

Now it can only be said to be an ornament, how much I used to love it, I worked for two months in the summer to buy it, but I fell to the ground after the graduation performance, in front of the seven of them.

"Go to a special band, go to a special music dream" I still remember this was what I said at the time, and the last dinner party because I didn't get together, but I didn't blame me.

There is a picture frame under the electric guitar, which we took on an island in the center of the lake, and the eight of them wrote their names and sentences on the blessing card of the Taoist temple, "The Yunji Band will never end!" ”

At that time, we imagined a bright future, and we hope to be able to perform together and write songs and play until we are 40 years old, just like Mayday.

After the band members were formed, we had a good time and a carnival. I have participated in many college student music festival performances in the Jiangnan area, and the band performance of the Shanghai University Student Music Festival, enjoying the lighting on the stage, and the cheers off the stage bring the vanity of occasional distraction. But that's how confident we were at the time.

The most conspicuous thing in the band is always the lead singer, because for the public, the lead singer is beautiful and sings well is their focus.

So the female lead singer of our band, Xia Qing, quickly became popular, and after several music festivals, entertainment companies even approached her, she was very embarrassed, but we all knew that she was a little shaken, after all, everyone wanted to seize the opportunity.

This reminds me of a message I sent to Xia Qing when I was a junior: "Yun Qian, I know what everyone means by watching me recently, we are very happy together... If I do sign up... Don't worry... Definitely not when it's on campus... Even if you sign a contract... I'll talk to them and see if I can bring you with me, after all, this band doesn't have songs you wrote... Without all of you, we wouldn't be where we are now..."

It wasn't until the night before graduation that Xia Qing asked me to have a glass of wine, and she talked about it that the company would not train people other than her, and she had no choice but to refuse... Or go solo.

I'm not stupid, and I've known since my junior year that there was a day when entertainment companies only looked at how much they could bring.

Band? They have more expertise than we do; Writing songs? They have more senior composers and arrangers. And how can you fall in love with a non-professional college graduate who wrote a song or two?

I said at the time: "Xia Qing, if there is really that day, you can do whatever you think in your heart, everyone has the right to choose, I won't blame you, I don't think they will either, don't hesitate, don't feel guilty, because, this is your chance, I just hope that many years later... You're a big star... It's enough to remember the green years we played together. ”

I finally put away the photos in the bedroom, I didn't run away, but I wanted to put it in the box to cherish this memory, and I didn't get angry with Xia Qing when I smashed the guitar on my graduation day.

Because it's not just Xia Qing, each of us has our own reasons and the right to choose, the reason why I did that may be self-blame, although I am not the captain, but even if I am the captain, he is helpless.

Then I put the guitar that was injured on the wall into the piano case, not only the guitar was injured, but I was also beaten like a drum kit by life, and I had to give up on you for the time being!

Because in this brightly lit city, I first have to solve my own food and clothing, and there is another important reason why I chose to stay here, that is because I fell in love with this city, liked a person, and fell in love with a city!

But just when I was full of emotion and emotion, my phone suddenly rang again, and I tilted my head to look over, and my face gradually became solemn.