I hate the world.

Because no matter how hidden the ugliness of this world is, I can also discover it.

So, maybe one day when I don't want to pretend to like the world anymore, I'll destroy the world......

"Don't give up, you can be a good teacher!

Vaguely, he heard someone encouraging him. The voice sounded familiar, but I couldn't remember who it was.

Cuckoo cuckoo

He heard the cuckoo chirping again.

When I opened my eyes, I was surrounded by gray, and the rustling sound gradually came to my ears.

It's raining.

When I got up and looked out the window, it was a morning with autumn rain.

"It's nice to rain and you don't have to gather in the morning. He sighed.

He remembered the person who encouraged him in his dream, so he picked up his phone and flipped through the address book and friends, but found nothing. He thought, maybe he was thinking too much.

Before he knew it, he had been working for more than four years, and he was still wandering around the field.

Four years ago, he was not admitted to graduate school, so his only wish was to be assigned back to Beijing after graduation. This is his bottom line, he has always thought that he is a Beijinger, and it is natural for him to be sent back to Beijing. But the captain at that time bluntly told him, "There is no drama in Beijing."

"Why? There has never been a student from Beijing who has not been assigned back to Beijing, and even if there is, they will eventually be transferred back to Beijing within a year or two. But Dalian, and it's a suburb far from the city...... This place has no direct relationship with Beijing, and if I am assigned there, when will I be able to return to Beijing? And then how will I become a teacher? What am I sorry for him, and he will treat me like this?"

Because of this incident, he has always held a grudge against this captain. However, I feel that there is still more to come.

When he came to the workplace, he also thought at the beginning that he would be safe when he came, change his previous closed self, and have a good relationship with everyone. However, one of the people who was assigned to him always seemed to regard him as a thorn in his side, and he was impatient with his enthusiasm all the time, and finally his attitude became worse and worse. And this man seems to be very skillful, and he doesn't know that he has said some slander to the same group of people, and these people have collectively excluded him. In the worst case, this person actually directed and acted by himself, pulled out the valve core of himself and others, and then poured dirty water on him.

"I want to kill him......"

Wanting to be a little more open, he closed himself off again, and became even more closed than before. Even so, at that time, he could still go out every day to relieve these unhappiness. But the good times did not last long, and the work was less than a year, and there was a new leader in the unit. As soon as the new leader came, he came to find the stubble of a single cadre, and came up with a series of high-pressure policies, one of which was to ask the leader for leave when he went out.

"We're all adults, okay? Want to go out and breathe, and report to you like a child? This is the treatment of an officer?"

In this way, he was like losing the last straw, and since then the negative emotions have been stacking, but he has no way to vent them.

"So what am I going to do in the next few years?"

Changing jobs is probably not enough years. Demobilization is opposed by almost everyone because of the high cost. I can't go to graduate school, because I have to force myself to return here after graduation, and it is even more difficult to leave here. The transfer is even more unrealistic, and there are too many levels......

In the midst of his troubles, many of his peers had families, but he didn't even have the idea. Maybe it's because he doesn't want to give up his ideals in order to start a family, or maybe he's waiting for someone to take him out of the area......

"In short, the only thing to do at this stage is to work hard. ”

But fate played a joke on him, and his unit began to languish because of the lag in technology, and the result was that he and his colleagues sat in the office almost every day, and almost every day they were idle. When the time he did his job was not as long as the time he had spent cleaning the barracks, he finally couldn't help it.

"Why the hell am I here! In that case, even if I am demobilized next year, I will leave here!"

"Do you hate?"

He heard the whisper-like sound again.

Four years ago, he heard it for the first time. At first, the voice frightened and troubled him, but then he found that the person who spoke knew everything about him and seemed to be the one who understood him best.

Gradually, he began to talk to the man, and sometimes even he felt a little schizophrenic himself.

"Of course I hate!"

"Yes, that captain, because he has the same surname as you, actually treated you like this! It's because he assigned you to this place that you have what happened now! Think about it, if the previous captain had brought you to graduation, he would have found a way to get you back to Beijing, at least he would have worried more about you, wouldn't he?"

"Yes, you're right, of course I hate him! But I hate those who framed me too! Even though they've all been transferred, I still get angry at the thought of them!"

"That's right! If you want to hate, you can hate it with all your might, so why hide it? or *help you......"

Somehow, there was always a word in this person's words that he couldn't hear clearly, but he could basically deduce that it was a first-person pronoun, as if he wanted to hide his identity. But since it doesn't affect his understanding, he hasn't taken it too seriously.

"How do you want to help me?"

"You can play with the world between applause, enjoy it if you find it interesting, and destroy it if you don't think it's fun. ”

"What!"

He thought to himself, "This guy is definitely a demon! The so-called "devil's whisper" probably said this. ”

"Thank you for your kindness, but I really want to change my fate by my own strength!"

At this time, he suddenly had a bold idea: since he had left here with an iron heart, he might as well go to the graduate school entrance examination of a local university.

"Yes, yes, eight years ago, because of the limited strength, so I only dared to report to the first Normal University, and the result was that I missed it, now I should be more confident than then, it's time to double the dedication, this time I want to challenge Beijing Normal University! In the past four years since graduation, I have not stopped studying the major, I think I should not be worse than those fresh graduates who have just graduated. ”

"What a naïve idea, but this time it's okay to be happy, anyway, when the time comes, you'll ask * for help......"

After that, he didn't hear it again for a while.

Even though he didn't think the man was joking, he took what the man said as a joke, after all, if it was true, it would be terrible.

Still, I had this thought:

If I really had that ability, then I wouldn't have to live so hard, and all my wishes since birth would have been easily granted, and it would seem good that I would be able to judge those who have hurt me like a judge.

I later understood why I had such terrible thoughts, because it was my nature......