Her eyes were like dew, and I closed my eyes and searched down in the direction of her tears until I touched her soft lips.

She shuddered, her hands pressed against my chest in fright, and I put my arms around her waist in time, with a slight force, so that for a moment she could semi-forcibly eliminate the distance she wanted to pull away.

My kiss wandered between her lips, and I still felt the beautiful smell of the girl I remembered, as warm as the fragrance of her lavender, sweet as benzoin, with the smell of candy.

Her anger and reserve gradually melted in my embrace, and she wanted to say something, but I kissed her, guiding her to relive our long-lost lingering.

I deliberately set the fire, and she didn't mind being a moth to the fire. Her breathing became more and more rapid, and her contact with me was no longer passive, kissing me, hugging me, her outstretched arms wrapping around me like a female loll, a series of movements that went on so fast and intense that our shadows looked like a struggle in the flickering candlelight.

She put her arms around my neck, and for a moment I was almost breathless, so I grabbed her hand and pressed it, but touching her wrist, my mind moved, and I began another ambiguous attempt.

My hand ran down her wrist into her sleeve, into the sleeve of her midicoat, inch by inch over the skin that had seduced me, and finally rested above her elbow, where it tossed and turned. It was a forbidden place that she had never touched by the opposite sex, and she blushed and unconsciously shrank back, trying to avoid my further demand, but in the turn of the side, the large sleeves of her brocade shirt slipped from her shoulders to her elbows, and I grabbed it with my hand, and the whole dress was gone away from her.

As soon as I raised my hand, the big-sleeved shirt floated away like a cloud, and landed on the glass lampshade of the giant palace candle next to the low couch, and the light in the room suddenly dimmed, and it was dyed with the gorgeous warm color of cloud brocade, and the atmosphere became more and more fragrant and blurry. She looked in the direction where the brocade was falling, and then looked back at me in surprise, and before I could react, I leaned over to her again. The shadow on the plum blossom paper tent is in pairs, and it is stacked into one.

The sachet was secretly dissolved, and the belt was lightly divided, and I continued to gently invade her, and she quietly untied the jade buckle on my leather belt with childlike curiosity and revenge. The sudden loosening of the garment around my waist made me feel terrified, but I quickly calmed down, and instead of stopping her, I unbuttoned my robe and threw it on the ground.

We intertwine the acts of kissing and undressing into the sweet night and the beautiful aroma, and the etiquette that should exist between the princess and the courtiers also leaves us, and the clothes scattered by us turn into a mess. When we were all left with a single coat, we fell to the couch in each other's arms, and the princess's hot hands reached under my robe, stroked my waist, and pressed my back so hard that it was like a root was about to grow on the fingertips, and through my skin, imprisoned my unhealthy heart. I bowed my head and kissed her slender neck, and imprinted the last caress under her collarbone, between the soft snow skin that was more secret than her jade arms.

This made her tremble again, and the arm that hugged me retracted. She closed her eyes tightly, not daring to look at me, her eyelashes fluttering from time to time, but there was a faint smile on her lips, and she looked a little confused by the unknown actions I might make, but she would not resist.

How beautiful she is under the shadow of the red candle, if I were a normal man, what a beautiful joy of life this love game should be, and she didn't know with a smile on her feelings, but now for me, this is a play performed in the pain of stepping on a blade.

I watched her smile and quietly stepped back, the last layer of open clothing fading in the action.

Standing up straight in front of the glass lamp, I called to her softly: "Princess......"

She smiled and turned to me. When she opened her eyes to look at me, I resolutely lifted the large sleeves covered by the glass cover, and the bright light that had been blocked before couldn't wait to fill the warm pavilion, and also illuminated my unwished, ** body.

She was not accustomed to the sudden intensification of the light, and frowned for a moment before opening her eyes again. After glancing at me in bewilderment, her gaze moved to me, staring at the mutilated and shrunken ugly organ under my waist in a daze, and she seemed to suddenly realize what it was, which obviously frightened her, and she couldn't help but let out a low cry, and quickly closed her eyes and turned inward, not daring to look again.

I tried my best to pull out a smile, and slowly approached her: "Princess, won't you look at it again?" That's the answer you want. ”

She closed her eyelids tightly, as if she was afraid that a ray of light would scorch her eyes. With a pained expression on her face, she pushed as far as she could into the inner wall, burying herself in the shadows that the glass lamp couldn't reach. The embers were extinguished by the water, and white smoke escaped from the couch, while the overflowing hot water spread slowly on the couch, touching the princess's ankles, and she retracted in surprise, and tried harder to curl herself up in a ball and lean against the corner, like a small animal hiding from the winter cold.

I unfolded my large-sleeved shirt over her, stood silently for a while, and then knelt down in front of her couch. "Princess," I whispered, looking at her back behind me, "as you said, in this life, in addition to the princess and the minister, we may have some other relationships, such as friends, brother and sister, master and apprentice...... If I am allowed to trespass. But there is one thing that can never exist between us, and that is a couple, or a lover. It was predestined for me when I entered the palace, and my mutilated body prevented me from being a husband or lover to any woman, neither to fly with them, nor to have children and continue their lives. Pinning your feelings on someone like me is like loving a utensil, a scroll of calligraphy and painting, you may be able to get temporary spiritual comfort, but you can't get the real worldly warmth. You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen in my life, you should have a flawless life, you are loved by your parents when you are a daughter, you are cared for by your husband when you marry, and you should have children and grandchildren around your knees in the future, and enjoy the joy of family for a long time. And that's exactly what I can't give you. ”

I paused slightly, and the princess had no intention of discussing the subject with me, still curled up in her large sleeves, and I could not see her expression, but could only feel her shoulders fluttering slightly.

She was like this when she was so sad that she didn't want to say a word. As far as I am concerned, the most uncomfortable time seems to have passed, and now I can calmly continue to say to her, "Our business was originally a mistake. The country is as handsome as a cloud, and many of the people the princess meets, such as Feng Jing, Cao Ping, Su Shi, Yan Jidao, and Cui Bai, are all outstanding and have their own styles. Compared with them, I am really as small as dust, but I have more opportunities to get along with the princess than them, so I am treated differently by the princess. If I hadn't been in a predicament, the princess wouldn't have anything to do with me, not to mention, I'm not a man anymore, and I don't even have the qualifications to love the princess. Although the colt is not the princess's ideal husband, he can give the princess heartfelt respect and love. What could be more important to a woman who has become a ** than her husband's love? The marriage was not pleasant, but if the princess wished, she could find peace and tranquility in the care of the colt and the upbringing of her children, just like ......"

Just like Akiwa. When the words came to his lips, he remembered that the princess didn't know about Qiuhe, so he swallowed it again, and changed his words, "Just like many women who get married because of their parents' orders and matchmakers' words." And clinging to our current gathering, the result may not be wonderful, the more intimate, the emptiness; The more indulgent, the more painful...... That's pretty much it. ”

The princess was silent, but there were still fragmentary sobs escaping from her clenched lips, and her hand quietly grasped the large-sleeved garment, causing chrysanthemum-like folds to gradually whirl out of the garment.

I took a deep breath, suppressed my intention to reach out to soothe her, and said, "I'm not Zhang Chengzhao, and I can't turn the princess into a smile, the ugliness I can make the princess see is limited to my body." With her husband by her side, it shouldn't be too difficult for the princess to alienate and forget the ordinary. Perhaps, when the princess has lived patiently with the colt for a few years, feels the true love between men and women, and has children of her own, she will even be ashamed of it, and will want to write off this memory. Therefore, please give me a little mercy now, and let me retreat to my rightful place, and be the princess's servant and shadow again. ”

After speaking, I didn't wait for her to answer, I picked up my clothes and dressed them one by one, found the courtier's etiquette, raised my hand and bowed to her, and then bowed my head respectfully and stepped back.

After I turned around, the princess Huo Ran sat up, and called me "Huaiji" in a sad voice, I froze, but finally did not look back, and under her gaze, I started again, leaving her and the warm boudoir.

I couldn't sleep peacefully this night, so I simply didn't sleep, and sat alone in my room with tea instead of wine, drinking one by one.

During this time, I thought of many things, such as how to leave the princess's house, where to go in the future, how to ask the waiter in the house to take care of the princess, etc., naturally, I still couldn't help but worry about the princess and guess her current situation. Unexpectedly, he waited for an unexpected result.

At the beginning of the third watch, Jiaqingzi came and banged on my door, and when I opened the door, she stared at me with wide eyes, panted and said, "Gong...... Princess, put the pony ...... Summoned to the dormitory......"

I was stunned and asked her, "Did the princess summon the colt to scold?" ”

Jiaqingzi shook her head, looking at me with surprise and pity for me: "She let the colt stay in her pavilion. ”

I did not follow Jiaqingzi's advice to visit and dissuade me. After seeing her off, I went back to my room and sat down, and continued to drink tea in silence.

Mr. Cheung said that tea can make people feel and think slightly, but it will not destroy people's liver and intestines. I think he's wrong, tea can also get people drunk.

The next day, I woke up after a shallow sleep, top-heavy and my mind wandering, but I still remembered the events of the previous night, so I went out to the princess's pavilion to congratulate her.

Before the bamboo forest courtyard, I met Li Wei who came out of the inside. His face was gloomy and decadent, and there was no hint of joy. When he saw me, he only glanced at me coldly, and before I could open his mouth, he hurried away, his pace as fast as if he were fleeing.

Well, perhaps, this time it was the same as their wedding night, nothing happened. Thinking like this, I couldn't help but feel a moment of relief.

But when I entered the pavilion, I immediately felt that the atmosphere was different. The princess was not in the hall, only Jiaqing Ziyun Guoer and other maids were whispering. When they saw me come in, they were immediately silent, and Jiaqingzi even hid an object in his sleeve.

I looked towards the princess's warm pavilion, but still didn't see her, so I asked Jiaqingzi: "The princess hasn't gotten up in the morning yet?" ”

Jia Qingzi said yes, lowered his eyebrows and did not look at me.

I turned to Yun Guo'er, and she also turned her head away, not wanting to make eye contact with me.

I looked around at the rest of the maids, but no one said a word. After hesitating, I finally chose a question and asked Jiaqingzi indirectly: "Why aren't you happy today?" ”

She also hesitated for a long time before pulling me to a corner, and replied in a low voice: "Last night the princess summoned the horse, and he was very surprised, and he didn't dare to set foot in the princess's warm pavilion...... After getting up today, the horse was in a good mood and invited the princess to enjoy the plum blossoms, but the princess threw this on the ground......"

She pulled her hand into her sleeve and took out what had been hidden at first and handed it to me.

It was a piece of white silk. I took it, stretched it out with difficulty with trembling fingers, and saw the expected few bits of blood like falling plum petals.

Jiaqingzi observed my expression, probably not noticing too much of an abnormality, and then continued to tell me: "Then the princess said to the colt, 'This is what you have always wanted?' Now, you're ready to go out. Never come near me again. ’”