The green silk was piled up on the pillow, and she lay on her side, the brocade quilt only reaching her elbow, revealing half of her white mid-laner back, so that she looked more and more skinny, thin and unreal like a person drawn with ink and brush.

I walked gently to her couch, silently, but she seemed to sense it, and slowly turned around.

Her eyelids were puffy, her skin was dull, and she looked like she had not slept all night. She was not surprised to see me, and looked at me calmly, her dry lips moved, and she pulled out a smile that was not happy: "Congratulations, Huaiji, I have finally received what you call 'love between men and women'." ”

I held my breath, trying to say congratulations, trying to smile at her, but I couldn't make a sound, and I noticed that my face was stiff, and if I was laughing, it would be no better than crying.

"So, do you want to know how I feel?" She asked me, again in a soft and gentle tone, as if the topic was only about the tasting of paintings and calligraphy.

I tilted my head slightly, expressing my avoidance of the question. Her gaze followed me indifferently, and with an unusually calm calmness, she spat out one word: "Pain." ”

In my silence, she turned her head to look up with the reluctant smile at first, and said alone: "This is also all the feelings that my marriage with Li Wei gave me...... You all say that this will make my life complete, but I feel a pain worse than a cut wrist and a broken arm......" At this, she looked back at me again, and her voice was as soft as a whisper: "Waiji, I am also crippled. ”

I could no longer restrain myself, two tears burst out of my eyes, knelt down in front of her couch, all the hard shells of reason and etiquette that had been maintained for more than twenty years were broken by her words, I was completely broken, unable to hide anything anymore, and wept silently, allowing the fragile heart that had been wrapped in layers to be completely exposed to her eyes.

Even as a child, I never shed so many tears, no matter how oppressed and bullied I was. But at this moment, those tears rushed down like the water of the embankment, and I couldn't control it, and I didn't want to control it, so I let this warm liquid wash away my shame and vent my pain with my sorrow.

I bowed my head and wept, unable to see the princess's expression, and she remained silent, neither weeping nor saying anything comforting to me. After a while, she sat up, leaned over me again, stretched out her arms and embraced me into her arms, and pressed one cheek to my forehead like a mother hugging her child.

Maintaining this gentle posture, she whispered, "It's all over, and we're still together." ”

I compromised with myself and stopped thinking about how to leave her, even though I knew it was inevitable and would happen sooner or later.

We are still the same as before, I comment when she paints ink and bamboo, I play the flute when she plays the gonghou, hold an umbrella for her when it rains, and drape her when the wind blows...... Nothing seems to have changed, but we all consciously do not try to get along at night, and we all carefully avoid skin touch, let alone mention the hidden things related to the pain that happened between us, for fear that the memories there will bleed like unhealed wounds.

The next day after the princess and the concubine had a round house, it is said that the uncle and wife were very happy and prepared to enter the palace to report the good news to the emperor, but Li Wei was furious and fiercely objected to his mother informing the palace people about it. Mrs. Yang had never seen his angry look, and she was also frightened by him, so she didn't report it. Later, he came to the side to persuade the princess to accept the concubine again, the princess was cold-faced, Mrs. Yang had to go back stupidly, I am afraid that after that, I will also pay special attention to the situation of me and the princess, seeing that we can also observe the courtesy, so there is no more matter, only to mention the matter of the concubine, let the concubine take Yun Guoer, Li Wei also obeyed the order, and soon Yun Guoer will be accepted into the house. After taking a concubine, Li Wei except for occasionally sleeping with Yun Guoer, the rest of his life is as usual, or concentrating on the study of calligraphy and painting, although Yun Guoer lives a life of brocade clothes and jade food slaves, but there is not much joy of the bride, but the princess is still respectful, and the number of courtesies to serve the master mother is a lot. Everyone in the princess's house maintained a calm appearance on the surface, but they were all worried about it for the time being.

In November, Jiaqingzi married Cui Bai as scheduled. Before leaving the princess's house, Jiaqingzi knelt in front of the princess and cried so much that her heart and intestines were broken. The princess comforted her with a smile: "On the day of great joy, don't make it like life and death. You can come back to see me often after you get married, and we won't see each other again. ”

The rest of the maids also comforted her, and it took a while for Jiaqingzi to stop crying. The princess asked Jiaqingzi to make up her makeup, and then took her hand to look left and right, thought about it, flicked her left hand to her right wrist, and pushed a mutton fat white jade bracelet that had been worn for several years along the hand they were holding to Jiaqingzi's wrist.

Jiaqingzi was taken aback, prevaricated, and was anxious to return the princess's jade bracelet, but the princess held her hand and said, "The dowry for you is all for others to prepare, I have always wanted to give you a gift, but I can't find a good one." I've been wearing this bracelet for a few years, and now you bring it, and look at it on weekdays, just like I'm still by your side. ”

Jiaqingzi accepted it at this time, and thanked her with tears again, the princess held her with both hands, looked at her carefully for a long time, and finally sighed with emotion: "Speaking of which, almost none of the women around me have been happy since I was a child. And if you marry Ruyi Langjun, you will always be different from us...... There is no need to say polite words, as long as you and Cui Bai live well, you will thank me. ”

The auspicious time is approaching, and Jiaqingzi must go out. She said goodbye to the princess at the end, and walked out step by step. The princess couldn't help but get up and walk to the court to see her off, and when Jiaqingzi was about to leave the pavilion, the princess suddenly called her again.

Jiaqingzi stopped and looked back to inquire: "Princess? ”

The princess's warm eyes touched the corners of the eyes and eyebrows of the maid who had been with her for many years, and she smiled and expressed her last exhortation in a kind way: "You must be happy." ”

When Jiaqingzi went out, she turned around and went back to the room, and the tears that had been suppressed for a long time immediately overflowed and slipped behind the bride's invisible.

After Jiaqingzi got married, the princess became more and more lonely, and her dependence on me became deeper and deeper, she needed my inseparable companionship, even if I left for a moment, her eyes would follow me, with a look of amazement on her face.

As long as it was daytime, I tried to stay by her side, and agreed to all her requests, so that she would not be unpleasant because of me. I cherish every moment of our relationship, because I understand that this seemingly peaceful time is like a glass cup, which can be broken at any time, especially after I met Sima Guang.

I had expected that the day after we met, he would ask for an order to expel me from the princess's house and exile me to some remote place, but I was surprised to think that I had the peace of the month. However, it was soon clear why.

This month, the princess took me into the provincial ban, and when she asked for peace in the Funing Palace, she considered the words and mentioned to the princess that she was going to transfer me back to the palace: "The ministers of Tianzhang Pavilion are old, and they are applying for Zhishi to recuperate. I think that the ministers of the two provinces before and after are either difficult to transfer if they hold many positions, or they are not skilled in learning and are not worthy of the officials who manage the imperial documents. Come to think of it, Waiji is a good candidate......"

As soon as he mentioned this, the princess opened her eyes and asked directly, "Does Daddy want to transfer Huaiji away from his daughter?" ”

Amagami was embarrassed and hesitated, "Not really...... It's true that you can't find the right person......"

"Daddy can't find it, so let his daughter find it." The princess immediately said, "There are ministers who are both literate and free, and my daughter knows a few, so she can make a list and let her father choose." ”

Now it is silent, and it should not be for a long time. Seeing this, the queen on the side sighed and said to the princess: "Huirou, the matter has come to this, and we can't hide it from you anymore." As early as a month ago, Sima Guang of the Tongzhi Yuan knew about Huaiji's return, and asked your father not to change his previous order to belittle him. Your father ignored it, and he argued with Yang Jin, Gong Dingchen and other officials one after another, and they all asked for Huaiji to be degraded. Your father has never expressed his position, and Sima Guang went up again yesterday, this time the wording was particularly fierce, and he also mentioned you......"

The queen paused, and turned to Jinshang, with a hint of asking for instructions in her eyes. Jinshang understood what she meant, so he called Ren Shouzhong and whispered two words, Ren Shouzhong immediately walked to the bookcase, took out a sword, and then came over and gave the sword to the princess.

The princess swept her eyes a few times, was very angry, threw the sword on the ground, and said angrily: "This Sima Guang is so disrespectful and arrogant, and his father doesn't punish him? ”

The emperor and queen looked at each other, but did not speak. I picked up the slasher, first unfolded it to confirm Sima Guang's signature, and then read the text from the beginning.

Sima Guang began by talking about the things that had not been accepted before, and then pointed the finger at the princess and Jinshang: "When the minister hears the father's beloved son, he teaches righteousness, and he is evil." The princess was born in the deep palace, she was naïve, not more strict, and did not know the reason for the loss. The minister said that His Majesty should guide him with virtue, make an appointment with courtesy, choose a person who has been prudent for many years, make a servant left and right, teach day and night, accept all good ways, and have grace and arbitrary, illegal invitations, should be less restricted, not all followed, and then the way of love, in Si exhausted. ”

He not only bluntly criticized the princess for being willful and unreasonable, but also secretly criticized Jinshang's lack of teaching and being too accommodating to his daughter. In the following, he recounts my previous debasement and uses harsher terms, saying that I am "guilty of a mountain of sins, and should be punished severely," while "Your Majesty will pardon me and rebuke the foreigners." People at home and abroad, talking about the rest, are only a few months now, and they are recalled. The road origin, the spoken language is terrifying, so it is the beauty of the princess Su Yong, and the training of His Majesty's righteousness is also".

At the end of the article, he reiterated his attitude and requirements: "The minister is really indignant, and he regrets it for His Majesty." Looking down on the saints and mercy to observe the foolish loyalty, chasing the previous order, and not making the four directions point their fingers, thinking that it is too much, and the loss of holy virtue is not a trivial reason. ”