I'm not too young and I'm starting to rethink my dreams.

I have seen many people on the screen, proudly saying that they are a dream chaser", and I have also seen many people tell their life stories after they have reached the status of being recognized by the world, telling the audience that this dream has persisted since childhood. Looking back at myself, I have achieved nothing, not only have I no achievements to boast of, but at the age of thirty, I have successfully confused myself, lost my fighting spirit, and has no direction.

I started to rethink my dreams. Is it because I despise dreams too much, so dreams are illusory? In my current mind, dreams are really a worthless thing, and it is never something that can be exchanged with outsiders.

The first time I came into contact with my dream, maybe it was when my relatives came to my house and asked, "XX, what do you want to do when you grow up?" "At that time, my reaction should have been textbook bewilderment. I don't know what I'm going to do when I grow up, I don't even have a concept of growing up. How can you think about getting rid of things that you have to get rid of when you are obsessed with peeing and mud all day long, and you are passionate about eating and drinking, and you haven't had enough of this life? Probably, when people are still satisfied with the living environment, they think more about being content with the status quo than how to advance to a higher level of enjoyment. My words of not knowing made my parents feel very shameless, and behind the scenes, they began to educate me that you want to be a scientist, you want to be an engineer, or you can't be a doctor. I always have to pick one of the ones I don't know what it is as the answer to this question. So, my dream was to become a scientist. In the next fifteen or sixteen years, I studied all kinds of sciences, but it was still far from "home", and although my first dream in life was hasty, perhaps it also had a strong sense of nostalgia, and now when I see experts in various fields, I still remember: "Oh, it turns out that they are the people I wanted to be before." ”

The second time I came into contact with my dream may be when I graduate from high school, when I need to choose a major. You need to choose a major that you are good at, and your future graduation job will basically be related to the major. I'm still confused about this. The reference criterion is not your own inner need, but to see what profession is better to find a job at the moment. After finding this major, I thought about how I didn't seem to be rejecting it, so I filled in the application. After that, I went to school, graduated, and worked step by step. And I don't think it's bad.

Later, I began to be bruised by the wall, not me, but the wall that made the first move. Our life began to become very money-worshipping, everything was measured in terms of materialism, and luxury goods poured into my world, they were all exquisite, I was very failed to awaken the desire to possess after watching it, and then awakened to the reality of "can't afford it", smart as me, I chose not to be impressed by what I couldn't get, which saved me for a long time, because most things, I really can't use them, and there is no problem without it in life. The good times didn't last long, the friends around me all took off their singles, got married, gave birth to a baby, and then told me with a sad face that I was still a single dog at that time, the woman chased the male compartment yarn, the male chased the female, and the room and car separated her mother! In this world, you have no desire to have fart, these things, you must have them! At the wages of the average worker, the likelihood of buying a house is close to zero, but not equal to zero. This is the reality, and starting a family has become my most realistic dream, which is too simple to be humane. Later, I found out that instead of being serious, I wanted to work hard, and my salary would increase with my mental strength, so I changed jobs, and I went to other places to find a job with a higher salary than the current one to prove that I was getting closer to my "dream". When my salary rose by 1,000, the house price doubled, more than 1,000 per square meter, and when my salary rose by another 1,000, the house price more than doubled...... It was reported in the news that a certain person made a certain movie with a box office of how many billions, a certain area planning, how many suites were divided after demolition, how much money, the cleaner drove a luxury car to work, just to pass the time, a certain person drove a luxury car in the urban area and was fined, check the price of the car that can't remember the name, forget it, wash and sleep.

I'm doing nothing, I don't want to go with the flow, my so-called dreams are all fart! I didn't put everything aside to face my heart at all, in my past life, I have always been a child, getting by, or like I was a child, shouting loud goals, so as to appear that I am also noble and ambitious! Or try to connect with the world like I did when I was a teenager, although the choice is not so noble, at least let people think that I am still pragmatic! Or just like when you were young, you had no ambitions, you were in your own work, and you should be mediocre for your dreams!

I envy my classmate, he said that he likes to paint, in high school so desperately brushing the question to endorse, persuaded his parents, resolutely in the third year of high school began to transfer to the art class, left his hometown to study painting, and later went to college, after graduating from college, he went abroad for further study, it is said that he has been engaged in painting is related; I envy my netizen, he suddenly said that he likes to sing, so he searched for various vocal skills on the Internet, adjusted his daily routine, used his spare time to practice singing, published his imitation songs on various software, and shared them with us, and consulted us very seriously about our feelings after listening, as well as my own analysis of my own singing skills; I envy my father, who has been building cars all his life, and has recently started to like computers, so when he comes home, he comes home with a computer book, records all kinds of professional terms, and tries to use computers, which is not easy for people of their age...... The hardships of life have not improved because of these small hobbies, but what has improved is their state of mind when they are immersed in their little dreams.

I think their little hobbies are very close to dreams, there are dreams and thoughts, these hobbies, even if they dream at night, they will not be awakened, and their thoughts will not be frowning and upset during the day. I suddenly realized that I didn't have nothing, I had a dream, and I was worthless, and I was embarrassed to say it even when people asked, but it was really my dream. I am eager to write, to write about something cynical, to write something rebellious, to write something ingenious, to write something that hurts my heart, to write something that goes deep into my bones.

It turns out that dreams don't have to be earth-shattering, they don't have to be admired and recognized, they don't have to earn fame, status and money because of it, it's better that it's worthless, so that we know that the pursuit of it is not for material things, but purely from the heart.

Do you also have a worthless dream, friend?