When the water is clear, there are no fish, and people are observant but have no friends. Everyone has shortcomings, and if we keep our eyes on the shortcomings of others, others will feel innocent, and we ourselves will feel at a loss.

In interpersonal communication, when we are in other people's trivial matters, as long as there is no substantive mistake, we should not correct it, and it is a good way to turn a blind eye and turn a deaf ear. If you can't be too serious, admit death, and take it too seriously, you will not be used to anything, and you will not even tolerate a friend, and the final result will be to isolate yourself from society.

Dale Carnegie was an education expert and success scientist, a "veteran" in dealing with human relationships, but in his early years, he also made mistakes - to correct the mistakes of others, as he recalled:

"One night, I was at a banquet in which a gentleman sitting to my right told me a humorous story and quoted a phrase similar to the Chinese word for 'man is the man who makes the come, and the man who is doing the work is heaven,' and mentioned that the quote he was quoting was from the Bible. He was wrong, I know, I know for sure the source, no doubt at all. In order to show superiority, I corrected him very quickly. He immediately retorted: 'What? From Shakespeare? No way! When pigs fly! The gentleman couldn't help but be a little annoyed when he couldn't get off the stage. ”

Carnegie, however, was so bent on making his point clear, so he decided to find a witness to prove his point, and my old friend Frank Germont was sitting next to me. He had been studying Shakespeare for many years, so I asked him for confirmation.

Ge Meng kicked me under the table and said, "Dale, you are wrong, this gentleman is right. This quote comes from the Bible. I was a little unconvinced, but I didn't continue. On the way home that night, I said to Germen: Frank, you know that the phrase comes from Shakespeare. ”

"'Yes, of course'. He replied: But dear Dale, we are guests at the banquet, why should we prove him wrong? Would that make him like you? He didn't ask for your opinion, so why didn't he keep his face? ”

Carnegie used his own personal experience to warn us: In life, we need to pretend to be confused in inconsequential places, and some inconsequential small mistakes, let them go, and do not hurt the overall situation, then there is no need to correct them. Not only will this save the other person's face and maintain a normal conversation, but it will also give you the unexpected benefit of creating a good impression in the minds of the other person and the people present.

Gino Boloch, the "business wizard" and "food king" of the United States, is a legendary figure who has many successful experiences in employing people, but also has lessons from failure. He once fired a salesman because he couldn't tolerate his "vices", depriving himself of a good talent.

In Bowloch's food company, there was a salesman named Tony, who worked only two or three days a week, two or three hours a day, and was always sloppy and careless in his work. Boloch tried hard many times to persuade him to "change his evil and return to the right", but he turned a deaf ear and continued to go his own way, not changing his "bad habits".

Eventually, Boloch loses patience and fires Tony in a fit of rage.

But Boloch soon regretted it, because Tony was indeed a rare sales genius, although he "fished for three days and dried the nets for two days", his performance was no worse than the others, that is, he was able to create the best results in the shortest time. If such a person pays enough attention and helps him correct his shortcomings, he can achieve greater results.

While Boloch had only seen Tony's lazy side and ignored his talent, his shortcomings were not intolerable, and his convincing sales track record made his dismissal undoubtedly a big loss for the company.

Sure enough, it wasn't long before Bowloch was embarrassed: after Tony moved to another company, he made a great contribution to the development of the company because of the trust and respect of his superiors.

This lesson of Boloch teaches us that we should be tolerant of others, not seek full blame, and should "forget their shortcomings and value their strengths".

"It is better to use flawed jade than flawless stone." People have shortcomings or weaknesses, and they all have the potential to make mistakes, and good people are no exception. In real life. People who don't have shortcomings and don't make mistakes don't exist in you, although talents have their strengths. There must also be shortcomings, and often the more prominent the advantages, the more obvious the disadvantages.

People are not saints and sages, and anyone can make all kinds of mistakes in life. When others make mistakes, we should treat them with a tolerant attitude, especially with our friends.

To get along with others is to understand each other, seek common ground while reserving differences, have measurements, and be able to tolerate others, so that you will have many friends, left and right; On the contrary, if you don't rub half a grain of sand in your eyes, you have to talk about the merits of any trivial matter, and you can't tolerate people, and people will hide from you, and in the end, you can only close the door and "call yourself lonely".