High EQ people know how to transform their emotions, and when they feel frustrated, angry, or nervous, instead of fighting them or panicking because they don't feel good, they calmly transform and accept them, knowing that they will pass. This allows them to gently and gracefully leave negative emotions and enter a positive state of mind.

We will often see the "tragic situation" when the traffic lights at congested intersections are out of control, the entire road becomes a sea of cars, impatient drivers are honking and shouting inside, the horns are full of ears, and the whole traffic is in a state of paralysis and chaos. If there is no management and guidance of the traffic police, I don't know how long it will be delayed and what the consequences will be. People's emotions are sometimes as troublesome as chaotic traffic, so you have to be your own spiritual traffic police, be a guide for these emotions, and achieve a reasonable emotional turn.

In the final analysis, the turn of emotions depends on the changes in the behaviors and attitudes that produce them, and only when these changes are made first, will the emotions that are the products of them change.

When the other person is furious, you should not think of it as a "grumpy" person, but as an "emotional" person.

When the other person ignores your speech, you should not think of him as an "unreasonable" person, but as a person with a "very personable".

If the other person keeps babbling about himself, you should not think of him as a "cheeky" person, but as a "straightforward" person.

When the other party reports to the boss, you should not think that he is a "sycophant", but that he is the "right-hand man" of the boss.

If you are not satisfied with someone else's prudence in spending money, you should not call him a "miser", but make sure that he is a "thrifty man."

Unfortunately, people with low emotional intelligence often focus too much on their painful thoughts, so that they are always depressed. The deterioration of some people's emotions stems from the fixation and rigidity of their own emotions, which can be overcome through emotional transformation. When you are self-defeating and in a bad mood, you should not use some self-cursed mantras on yourself, such as "a fool", "a piece of waste", "a fool". Once these spells are used, they mask the problem, leading to confusion and disappointment. Only by discarding them can you find and solve real problems.

In life, empathy is also an effective way to change emotions, we must know how to empathize, and we will be a lot less angry.

Xia Yuanji, a native of Dexing, Jiangxi, was the prime minister of Xuanzong in the Ming Dynasty. He is generous and has the style of an ancient gentleman.

In this way, he inspected Huaiyin, and when he was resting in the field, the horse suddenly ran away, and his followers chased him for a long time and did not come back. Xia Yuanji couldn't help but be a little worried, and when someone was passing by, he stepped forward and asked, "Do you see someone chasing a horse in front?" As soon as he finished speaking, the man replied angrily, "Who cares if you chase horses and cattle?" Go away! I still have to hurry. I think you're like a stupid cow! At this time, the attendant was chasing the horse back, and when he heard this, he immediately seized the man, and rebuked him sharply, telling him to kneel and apologize to the prime minister. But Xia Yuanji stopped: "Forget it! He may have been in a hurry, so he was in a hurry. ”

He laughed and let him go.

Therefore, we must learn to empathize with each other in our work, that is, to think from the other person's point of view. In this way, misunderstandings can be avoided and cooperation can be harmonious.

You can't choose your boss, you can't choose where you come from, but we can choose to look at things from a different perspective. A demanding boss who can exercise our endurance; A poor background can further stimulate our fighting spirit.

In fact, God is fair to everyone, but everyone thinks about problems from a different perspective. Everything should be thought about in a better way, and only then will there be a feeling of sudden enlightenment in the heart, and the scene of "another village with bright willows and flowers" will appear in front of you.

George Rhone was forced to flee to Sweden during the Second World War, and before that he had worked as a lawyer in Vienna for many years, he had a rich life experience and life experience. By the time he arrived in Sweden, he was penniless and had to find a job to support himself.

He had learned several foreign languages and could both speak and write, so he wanted to get a job as a secretary for an import and export company. He wrote to a number of companies expressing his thoughts, and most of them replied to tell him that they did not need such staff in times of war, but that they had put his name on file.

One of the letters in reply reads: "You know my business completely wrong, you are so wrong and stupid that I don't need any secretary to write for me." I wouldn't have asked you if I needed to, because you couldn't even write Swedish well, and the letter was full of typos. ”

George Rona was furious when he read the letter, he was going crazy. This person is also too annoying, his Swedish writing is incomprehensible, full of mistakes, and he is qualified to accuse others, too arrogant. So he also wrote a letter to be angry with that nasty guy.

He thought again, "Wait a minute, how do I know this person is not right?" I had studied Swedish, but it was not my native language, and perhaps I had made a lot of mistakes that I didn't know about. If that's the case, if I want to get a job, I'll have to study hard. This man may have done me a great favor, even though he didn't mean to. Perhaps he had a reason for expressing his opinion in such ugly words, and I should write a letter to thank him. So, he wrote a thank you letter.

Later, he was hired by this company.

calmed down the anger and exchanged for the future, there is such an exchange, why do you hold on to your anger?

There will be some unsatisfactory things in everyone's life, and the impact of these unsatisfactory things on everyone is different, some people may be depressed because of these unsatisfactory things, and some people will find happiness in it!

We don't have to impose our ideas on others, but we should learn to think from the perspective of others. Looking at problems from the perspective of others, not only can you see more openly, your own mentality will become better, but also you will gain the respect and favor of others.

At Christmas, a mother took her 5-year-old son to buy gifts. Christmas carols echo through the streets, shop windows are decorated with colorful lights, cute elves in disguise sing and dance, and shops are full of colorful toys.

"What an exciting look a 5-year-old boy will be to see this gorgeous world!" The mother thought without doubt. However, she never expected that her son would tug at the corner of her coat and cry out loud.

"What's wrong? Baby, if you keep crying, the Christmas elves won't come to us! ”

"I ...... My shoelaces were open ......"

The mother had to crouch down on the sidewalk to tie her son's shoes. The mother inadvertently raised her head, ah, how is there nothing? - No bright lights, no glamorous windows, no Christmas presents, no richly decorated dining tables...... It turned out that those things were too tall, and the child was so short that he couldn't see anything. All that fell to him was a pair of thick feet and the low skirts of the women, where they rubbed and collided with each other, and went back and forth......

It's a scary scene! For the first time, the mother looked at the world from the height of her 5-year-old son's gaze. She was so shocked that she immediately got up and picked up her son......

The world in the mother's eyes was brilliant and colorful, but her son was not as happy as she imagined, because they were in different positions, and the actual situation they were in was also different, and when she bent down to tie her son's shoes, she realized that happiness and happiness did not belong to her son at the same time.

It's not just a good mother who needs to put her child in the shoes of her children, everyone needs to put themselves in the shoes of others. Only by empathizing and comparing hearts to hearts can we truly understand what others are thinking.

Don't easily impose your preferences and logic on others, look at the scenery from different angles, each has its own feelings, and knows its own warmth and coldness. Consider the problem from the other party's point of view, and you will find that the other party's thoughts, likes and dislikes have entered your sight, and you can calmly deal with them in various interactions.

In life, the most important thing to know how to change your emotions is to think about problems from a different perspective.

If you change your perception of the same thing, the anger and resentment will disappear. There is a British proverb: "To find out if someone else's shoes fit, walk a mile in someone else's shoes." "We need to know how to empathize and learn to think from the perspective of others.