The German proverb aptly says: "Jealousy is a butcher's knife for yourself" Jealousy is a complex emotion of shame, anger, and resentment that arises when you compare yourself with others and find that you are inferior to others in terms of talent, reputation, status, or circumstances.

In life, we often see the following phenomena. If so-and-so's son was admitted to a key university, some people will say that other people's sons were not admitted with real skills, but must have spent money to buy them; If so-and-so finds a good job, some people will say that people don't find it with real skills, but rely on connections or bribery; If so-and-so made a fortune, some people will say that people make a windfall, not by honest labor; So-and-so married a good husband, some people will say that the man is not good or bad, in short, he can't look down on such a person no matter what; So-and-so published a book, and some people will say that I just don't write it, and I can write what I want to write; So-and-so became beautiful, some people will say that she was originally ugly, and this look is dressed up, and if I were dressed, I don't know how many times more beautiful she would be, but I still appreciate natural beauty.

Jealousy is an unhealthy psychology that can cause a jealous person to develop a very low, ugly state of mind and move towards a very narrow path in life.

There is such a parable:

There was a man who was lucky enough to meet God. God said to him, "From now on I can grant any of your desires, but only if your neighbor receives a double portion." The man was overjoyed, but when he thought about it, he was very unbalanced: if I had received one of the land, my neighbor would have received two; If I get one chest of gold, my neighbor will get two; What's worse is that if I get a stunning beauty, the guy who is destined to be a bachelor for the rest of his life will get two. The man thought about it, but he didn't know what to wish, because he was jealous that his neighbor had received more than himself. Finally, he gritted his teeth and said to God, "O Lord Almighty, gouge out one of my eyes!" God granted his desire. Since then, he has become a "one-eyed dragon", and his neighbor has become innocently blind.

It was a very beautiful thing, but because of damn jealousy, it hurt both myself and others. Why bother? Jealousy is a double-edged sword, hurting yourself and others.

Jealousy is a very painful emotional experience for individuals. Since people know that jealousy is a bad psychology, most people are ashamed to talk about it. Therefore, it can only be hidden deep in one's own heart, and this dark psychology will inevitably lead to pain and trouble. What's more, because they have been stimulated by jealousy for a long time, some people engage in vindictive jealousy to sow discord, interfere with other people's work and life, and even embark on the road of breaking the law and committing crimes.

The secretary of the Youth League Committee of a certain unit couldn't help but feel jealous when he saw his colleague Xia passing the self-study examination for higher education, and wrote anonymous letters to Xia's husband many times, slandering Xia for messing around with men and women outside, causing Xia's husband to beat Xia and make Xia run away from home. Later, when she heard that someone at the party committee had nominated Xia to be the deputy head of the organization department, she couldn't wait to write a false accusation letter to the party organization. When the matter came to light, the woman was finally arrested by the police for being convicted of false accusations.

Jealousy is a destructive factor that has a negative impact on life, life, work, and career, as Bacon said, "The demon of jealousy is always secretly and quietly destroying the good things in the world." ”

The destructive nature of jealousy is mainly manifested in the following aspects:

(1) Directly affect people's emotions and positive spirit.

Jealousy can lead to a lifetime of inactivity. The victim of jealousy is, first and foremost, the envious person himself. Shakespeare was right when he said, "Envy is the green-eyed demon, and whoever takes it captive will be fooled." "Jealous people are often in a state of anger and jealousy, which is bound to affect their studies, work and life. The time and life of the envious are wasted worthlessly in resentment towards others, and in the end they are empty-handed and achieve nothing.

(2) It is easy to cause prejudice. Jealousy, to some extent, goes hand in hand with prejudice. As much as jealousy is, so does prejudice. Prejudice is not just a result of ignorance, but also from a certain degree of personality defect.

There was a woman who was jealous of one of her colleagues' love to dress up. However, it was only during a conversation with the colleague that she learned that the other party's family was very unhappy. At this time, she found that although she was not pretty, her family life was very harmonious. Perhaps because of some kind of psychological balance, she felt a little sympathy for the colleague. At the same time, she also understood that she used to look at others unpleasantly, but in fact, she was prejudiced against others, and it was her own unhealthy psychology that was causing trouble, completely due to jealousy.

(3) Suppress and destroy talents. In real social life, in the process of evaluating and using talents, they are often disturbed by jealousy, so that some talents cannot be used in a timely and reasonable manner. A historian once asserted that one of the main reasons for the decline of Chinese society since the Tang Dynasty was the growing phenomenon of jealousy of the virtuous.

(4) Affect interpersonal relationships. Xun Guo once said: "If a scholar has a jealous friend, he is not a good friend; If the king is jealous, the virtuous will not come. "Jealousy is a psychological obstacle in interpersonal communication, which can limit the scope of one's interactions, suppress one's enthusiasm for communication, and even turn friends into enemies.

Jealousy destroys friendships, undermines unity, causes loss and pain to others, harms one's own soul as well as one's own physical health. Therefore, it is necessary to resolutely and completely say goodbye to jealousy.

Where, how to eliminate jealousy, how to rationally transform, in order to make use of jealousy?

The following points are available for our reference.

(1) Turn jealousy into motivation in life

Only with a correct understanding of competition can we extinguish the bad emotions that are ignited by the fire of jealousy. We should understand that success must be achieved through the right way, learn from others' strengths, learn from each other, work hard, it is useless to just stay in jealousy, the key is to act better than others, and change the previous idea of "what is you and not me" into "you can do it, I can do it better" self-motivation.

(2) Be able to accept the success of others

Everyone should face up to themselves, be aggressive, not too vain, and understand that "there is a sky outside the sky". The success of others must have put a lot of effort into it, and there must be something worth learning. Be able to accept the success of others and learn from others with an open mind. We must not only work hard to pick the golden apple that belongs to us, but also be able to share the joy of others picking the golden apple.

(3) Be tolerant and cherish friendship

Jealous people usually can't see the strengths of others and are unwilling to admit their shortcomings, so people should actually take a good look at themselves, find out the gap between themselves and others, and try to catch up. Don't easily forgive your own mistakes, but be generous with others, that is, be strict with yourself and be lenient with others. This will help to eliminate the resentment, dissatisfaction, and disgust with other people caused by jealousy.

In today's society, there will be a gap in competition, there will be strength and weakness, we must not only have the courage to be a strong person in competition, but also dare to bear the pressure of backwardness, not to mention that we do not work hard and envy others.

Bacon said, "Jealousy of this demon is always secretly and quietly destroying the good things of the world." "Letting go of jealousy, or turning it into motivation to pursue, can lead life to a better state. If you can't eat grapes, don't say that grapes are sour. Appreciating others is like appreciating a beautiful scenery, and you will also gain a rare pleasure in the process of appreciation!