Five weeks.

In just five weeks, not even five weeks, the deterioration of the condition was already more ferocious and faster than all the accumulation of the previous two years, like a runaway race car, the brakes had failed, and it could only join the march on a rampage, until the moment it was shattered.

All the illusions of peace in the world were torn to shreds in an instant.

Since Ryan's condition deteriorated, Jonathan has shouldered all the burdens, no one to talk to, no one to rely on, strong for a long time, and suddenly saw Lu Ke-

The captain of the offensive team who led the San Francisco 49ers back to the top, the quarterback who did everything he could to fight for the victory, the spiritual leader who rekindled the enthusiasm of the fans and the hope of the city, all the defense and all the strength became vulnerable.

That sudden impact, accumulated for too long, and suppressed for too long, after all of it was released, even a strong and resolute Jonathan began to shake up, muttering unconsciously.

"When it was first diagnosed, the doctor said that this disease is unpredictable, uncontrollable, and incurable, and can only be alleviated; But even if you insist on rehabilitation. The effect is also unknown, and no one knows whether it will stop the deterioration of the condition. Therefore, we need to be mentally prepared at all times, and the patient may die in as little as a year, or it may extend its life for more than ten years. ”

"I thought...... I thought I was mentally prepared, I thought I was strong enough to handle all that was possible. In the past two years, the five stages of grief have gone back and forth several times, and I thought I was already invulnerable. But...... But I wasn't ready after all. Ryan needs me, but I can't even take care of myself. God, I'm such a terrible brother. ”

Suddenly, Jonathan's voice stopped, there was no choking, no crying, no sourness, just a kind of dazed and confused, looking at Lu Ke with questions, "Why?" Why did things turn out the way they did? Can God give me the answer? Or who can give me the answer, and who exactly should I ask? ”

Grief is sharper than anger.

Dazed is more bitter than desperate.

The calm is more oppressive than the outburst.

Jonathan didn't cry or roar, he couldn't even see tears, the whole person was calm, but Lu Ke was almost out of breath, and he couldn't say a word.

He had no way to answer, and he didn't know how to answer.

Even the words of comfort are so pale at this moment, "Everything will be fine", "Things will turn around", "I will sincerely pray for you...... It's all deceitful, and in the harsh reality of reality, it doesn't have any comforting effect at all, and it sounds like a lollipop to comfort a nine-year-old child who doesn't work at the age of ten.

Looking at Jonathan's confused eyes, Lu Ke clenched his fists heavily and said firmly, "But the matter is still not over. ”

Jonathan looked at Lu Ke blankly, without a trace of waves in his eyes, as if he didn't understand the meaning of this sentence.

Lu Ke has no way to lie, "things will be fine", he has no way to give Jonathan such an illusory hope, because even doctors and God can't guarantee it, how can he be virtuous?

But Lu Ke knows that he will not give up, he refuses to give up, rugby is like this, dreams are like this, and life is like this.

When he was a sparring partner in college, John Ward laughed at him for being stupid, stupidly clinging to a hopeless goal, a lifeless dream, like a fool, hitting the wall again and again, hitting his head and bleeding but still not knowing how to give up, this is the stupidest insistence in the world, "Really smart people must learn to give up." ”

Nietzsche said that many people's so-called maturity is nothing more than being worn away by customs, becoming mundane and practical. It is not maturity, but the premature aging of the spirit and the premature death of the individual. True maturity should be the formation of a unique personality, the discovery of the true self, the spiritual result and harvest.

Sticking to your dreams and sticking to yourself may require a little silly courage.

Later, he was joined by John Ward.

Until now, Lu Ke still remembers that the young man chasing the wind who ran wildly on the rose bowl, he once thought that his career would be exhausted in the sparring and end after four years of suffering; But after all, he still walked side by side with Lu Ke, grabbed the tail of youth, and bloomed wantonly.

Life is like the splendor of summer flowers, and death is like the quiet beauty of autumn leaves.

Before the end comes, there are countless possibilities in life; Before reaching the finish line, dreams have a myriad of forms.

The same is true for Ryan now, who has not yet reached the moment of the finish sprint, and now chooses to give up? This is definitely not the performance that a real 49er should have.

"It's still not over." Lu Ke repeated his words again, his eyes revealed a determined light, cheering for Jonathan, "Before the moment of the end of the game, never give up, always continue to fight, always have hope, even if the final outcome is still defeat, but at least we did our best and fought until the last second, this is the reason why the team has come so far, and it is also the belief that the fans are willing to accompany us to move forward side by side, isn't it?" ”

I know it's a must-lose game, so what should I do? Raise your hands, disarm and surrender, and end this agony early; Or do you clench your fists, raise your hands, and fight until the last drop of blood burns out?

Ryan's game isn't over yet.

Jonathan opened his mouth slightly, and there was a flash of light in his blank and numb eyes again, and the numb and dazed emotions seemed to loosen slightly, but he couldn't distinguish the specific emotions for a while, after all, he was still under pressure for too long and too long, and it was difficult to turn the corner immediately.

Lu Ke showed a big smile and gestured in the direction of the ward, "Can I go in and visit Ryan?" I mean, if it doesn't disturb his rest and rehabilitation. ”

Jonathan came back to his senses a little, but he still couldn't organize his own words, and said a complete sentence, so he could only nod his head in agreement.

Only then did Lu Ke turn around and gently push open the door of the ward.

I don't know if it's because the time of Lu Ke's visit is just right, or because the ward arrangement is like this, the ward that can accommodate six people is only Ryan alone at this time, he faces the window, and sits quietly like this, just through a back, he can't accurately depict the specific expression and demeanor.

Just now, Lu Ke and Jonathan stayed at the door for so long, and Ryan was still motionless.

Lu Ke slightly increased his steps, making a little noise, reminding Ryan that someone was visiting, but Ryan still sat motionless, which also made Lu Ke only slightly distance, in order to avoid frightening Ryan, his footsteps came to the side of the hospital bed opposite Ryan, looked left and right, sat down on the edge of the bed, and sat down parallel to Ryan.

Turning his head, Ryan still didn't move, and Lu Ke couldn't judge whether he noticed his arrival.

Just as Lu Ke hesitated whether he should make a little noise, Ryan took the initiative to speak, "...... Woo woo woo, believe, now ...... Uh-huh......" His words were a little slurred, and the syllables and syllables were glued together, making Ryan smile helplessly and pause.

He didn't see any movement, it seemed to just adjust his breathing before Ryan spoke again, "Believe it or not, I'm very excited right now. I didn't expect to be able to sit with Skywalker one day, it was just incredible, and I was screaming in my head right now, but I had to forcibly suppress my impulses in order to avoid disturbing the other patients. ”

Ryan spoke very, very slowly, almost word for word, with occasional slurred syllables, but this time he was able to understand it.

Lu Ke didn't interrupt Ryan in a hurry, and only after he finished talking about it all did he chuckle, "Every week, we have a chance to fight side by side, I thought you were used to it." Lu Ke also slowed down his speech slightly, not too deliberately and too obviously, but lowered the rhythm, and the whole atmosphere would not be so weird.

The corners of Ryan's mouth twitched slightly, as if he was smiling, but as if he was twitching, unable to tell the difference, "It was the moment when seventy-thousand, nine-man people fought side by side, and I was just one of them." ”

After another pause, Ryan swallowed with great difficulty, and the subtle movements were like freeze-frame analysis in slow motion, frame by frame.

Lu Ke didn't speak, he didn't deliberately pretend to be happy and excited by whitewashing, nor did he keep talking to distract him, but always maintained a sincere and calm attitude, looking at Ryan.

Because Ted Jean told Lu Ke during his recuperation at the beginning of the year: What we need is not mercy, but equality. The warmth and optimism in your eyes seem to us as if we were giving alms from above, because you have understood our end. The problem is that I don't accept that that's my end.

After completing his swallowing motion, Ryan continued:

"But the truth of the matter is, I can't move right now. Sitting here, that's what I'm doing today, a little bit of a big movement and a little bit of shaking, I might lose my balance and fall and never get up again. It's like right now, I want to turn my head and look at you head-on, but I don't dare.

Again, I wanted to go back to the Candlestick Stadium and play with all my comrades, but I couldn't. This is my current situation, but don't worry about me, I've gradually accepted it, but Jonathan still can't give up, he always feels that he owes me something, he's such a fool, how can he owe me?

Witnessing the rise of the 49ers again is the best thing. ”