As usual, I came to a grassy hill at the edge of the paddy field, and at the top of the hill stood a wooden stick with a scarecrow tied to it, which together with the scarecrow was nearly 150 centimeters. It's a place for me and the kids in the neighborhood, and it's a gathering place for daily play and frolic.

The turf here is very lush, and there are many varieties of wildflowers. Whenever the evening breeze blows through the fields in spring, the grass roots up to more than ten centimeters high are covered with waves. If you take a closer look, you will see the fragrance of green grass and wildflowers, and the butterflies and bees fluttering among them.

In the summer, fireflies dance on the surface of the nearby Tone River, and you can see the glow of a lantern and stars on this hill, reflecting the sparkling waves in the river. Lying on the slope and listening to the whispering of the evening breeze and the murmuring of the river is refreshing.

When I first took a short break here, I saw the golden rice paddies when I opened my eyes, and I fell in love with this place at a glance. The natural landscape is full of vitality, as if brewing all the life and beauty of the world, giving people a strong sense of survival and the courage to live.

So I proposed to the children who were playing with me to erect a scarecrow here, so that it could take care of this beautiful land on our behalf, and it also symbolized that we always looked at the beauty of this place, and used this natural beauty to express our friendship - as an individual with an adult mind, I think so.

The other children may not have the same complicated thoughts as I did, but their emotions and moods must have been the same as mine.

I lay down on the slope to the east of the hill, it was late autumn, and the grass below me was sharper, but it still gave me the feeling of being in the clouds. The paddy fields in the distance have been harvested, and the sunlight shines on the fields to sleep, reflecting one after another golden curtains, which look a little sacred in the eyes.

Normally, children who have eaten Chinese food will come here soon. The children who came first here said some topics that the children liked in a childish tone, and after talking for half an hour, if everyone did not come, everyone would go to the children's house in groups to go to the door, and shout in unison at the door of the children's house who did not come: "Coward, the ghost is coming!" ”

The sight always made me laugh for a while, because it came from a game I taught them. The loser of the game is the coward and must either accept a penalty once per person or meet one of the winner's requirements to offset the penalty.

Whenever the children shouted at the door of the children's house, the adults of the family would give some interesting things or snacks to the children at the door, and then let the children who did not go out in time go to play with everyone.

It's a very childlike process.

Originally, I thought that there should be a door-to-door activity today, but I didn't expect to wait for a long time and no one came. Usually there are nearly twenty children, but now I don't see a single one.

I lay on the slope of the hill for a long time, until my skin was a little hot from the sun. Finally, a girl in a light blue dress trotted in from the direction of the north, her burgundy hair with natural curls at the ends, bouncing in the wind, like a living doll.

She didn't see me on the slope without a glance, so she stopped at the rising line of the hill and drew circles on the ground on her toes. So I stood up and walked towards her, waved my hand and shouted, "Sa, here." ”

"Fold, it turns out, it turns out that you are here."

Hearing the shout, Saya looked up in surprise and trotted up to me with the hem of her skirt, her fair cheeks flushed from the trot, like ripe apples.

"Yarn, morning. No one has come yet, so let's wait. ”

I waved my hand at her easily, not showing my mood on my face.

"Only...... Is there only one person who folds? ”

However, no matter how much I put on a casual appearance, there was still a mist in the eyes of the yarn. She looked around, as if to make sure there was anyone else around. After confirming that there was indeed no other figure, she bit her lip lightly, and her shoulders trembled: "It's too much." ”

"Too much? What does that mean? ”

From Sa's words, I sensed that something might have happened yesterday that I didn't know, but it should have something to do with me.

"The adults told us not to come to the hill anymore, everyone, everyone is too good, obviously it has nothing to do with it...... The drowned of the man obviously has nothing to do with folding. ”

Sha raised her head, her face was covered with tears, she bit her lower lip tightly, almost biting blood: "The adults say that Liren was bullied because he played with everyone, so he committed suicide by jumping into the river!" In fact, this is not the case at all! ”

"Hara, so that's the case."

I didn't know what to say with her words, and within a day or two, two of my children had completed their short journey. One is Yoshishi Morii who I forgot and remembered through my notes, and the other is Rito Yokoyama?

Rito is a more introverted child, although he is a little afraid to talk to other children, but he can tell me more frankly that he likes Mika, and longs to be able to talk to all children like me. I don't think such a kid would have suicidal thoughts. No, I'm sure he didn't commit suicide, and he didn't have a reason to do so.

Suddenly, I remembered that yesterday I went to the experimental farm with my father and therefore did not come here. When I came back, I seemed to hear that a child had injured his eye while playing, but the problem was not very serious.

At that time, I also thought that it was only a ** accidental bump, and now I think that the injured child is Liren, his vision is impaired, and he was disposed of on the same day. As for why it didn't end up disappearing, or maybe there was a different reason.

Board of Education.

I silently read the name of the education organization in this village, and my heart was inexplicably angry, but also a little sour. In order to make myself look normal, I put some thought into interacting with children of the same age, and became a "leader" that children of the same age admired and longed for. No matter how much I try to defend it, I did take advantage of these children in this way.

I may have been the cause of their deaths by taking advantage of the innocence and friendship of these children to deceive the eyes of the observers.

I should have understood that if there were too many children playing together, some children would inevitably be left out or the chances of conflict would increase. Children's sense of good and evil is sometimes very simple, and even conflicts about who is closer to whom are more likely to be affected.

The five children who have been disposed of in the past two years or so may have been caused by me. If you think about it this way, those parents probably expect their children to maintain only a few close friends, which will not cause conflicts over too complicated interpersonal interactions, and can ensure that their personalities will not become extreme or dark.

They want their children to play safer games and avoid getting hurt, and they want not to have a core like me that is too popular with children. To put it simply, the temperature is good, and it is not necessary to be too cold or too hot.

They may not be targeting me alone, but for the sake of being able to maintain a circle of ten or twenty children. However, as the core of the essence of the circle, I am undoubtedly the most important one to reject.

Because in their perception, I am a child with a special personality and natural leadership qualities, which can attract many children to come together. But this kind of gathering means complicating interpersonal relationships, as well as more conflicts, conflicts and hurts. This is something they don't expect, and it also means an increase in the elimination rate.

Their perception is not wrong, and my actions are not just. All they want is a better existence, so I have no right to blame them for what they did, even if they easily shattered the relationships I had maintained for more than two years and hurt all the children around me with bloody lessons.

And if I didn't have the thinking and personality of an adult, I guess I would be the one who was most hurt at this time.

Yarn and I lay on the slope of the hill and fell silent. Yarn fell asleep after a while, curled up in a ball, her hands still clasped around my left arm, looking like a cute little hamster. If it were a normal time, I would try to tease her, but today I am not in the mood.

As the sun was about to set, I shook the frowning veil to the melody of "Homecoming" on the loudspeaker, sent her to the door of her sleepy sleep, and waved goodbye to her.

As they parted, Yarn bit her lower lip tightly, and I was afraid that she would really bite her lip to bleed and try to speak. She suddenly lowered her head in shame and made a voice like a mosquito fly: "Fold, don't be afraid, I will always be with you." ”

I knew it was just a little girl's comfort, and I didn't want to go in any other direction. However, Sha's own face turned red in the blink of an eye, and she said expectantly, "No, it's not like that, I mean we'll always be good friends." When, of course...... If...... If you want to ......"

The voice behind her was faint, and before I could hear her, she stomped her feet and ran into the house, and even the roots of her ears were fiery red.

After seeing her enter the door, I smiled and waved my hand and walked in the direction of home in the evening breeze. Inexplicably, today's wind makes me feel cold, it's early winter.

Stopping, the sunset on the horizon was as red as a flame, it was a fiery cloud that had not been seen for a long time.

Sure enough, this sixth birthday was terrible.

Lifting my feet again, the thought rose in my heart for the second time.

……

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