So my father went back to the hospital and began to receive dialysis treatment, while Li was cooking and delivering medicine every day, going back and forth between the hospital and home.

"Why don't you take medicine, didn't you say it felt a little effective two days ago?" Li came to the ward with the second Chinese medicine at noon today, and looked at his father's bedside with the medicine he sent in the morning.

"You're so annoyed, you'll die if you eat less?" The father was impatient.

"Smoke less."

"I've been smoking for decades, how can you let me quit?"

“…… How do you eat these things again. Offy asked, pointing to the trash can, which contained some food scraps that my father couldn't eat.

"You're not bothered! How about a little bit? Eat me? ”

"Then how did you do this! It's not all you eat yourself! Unable to suppress his angry roar any longer, the other patients in the ward threw surprised glances at him.

"That's how I got sick, and I didn't want it to be like this." My father always has some ridiculous crooked reasoning, "If God gives me a life, then I can't die, and if I don't want to live, no matter how I am cured, it will be a death, and it has nothing to do with what I eat." ”

Away from the beginning of despair.

In the following time, my father did not change his life, he ate whatever he wanted in terms of diet, and the medicine was to take it when he was happy, and not to eat it if he was unhappy.

I took Chinese medicine intermittently for a month, which coincided with the Spring Festival, and I was going to take my father to the old Chinese medicine doctor for a follow-up.

"I won't have dialysis for another two months, and I can still hold on to the money I have left." After careful calculation, Chinese medicine costs 3,000 a month, dialysis costs 9,000, and the minimum monthly cost of food is between 13,000 and 14,000. During this period, I also received help from some old friends at home, so I was able to persevere despite difficulties.

"It's all the New Year, and the doctors are also going to celebrate the New Year." My father didn't seem to be willing to go for a follow-up visit, "Let's go back after the New Year, I just happened to go back to my hometown." ”

"Okay." After thinking about it, it makes sense, and after a month of traditional Chinese medicine and dialysis treatment, my father also regained his basic behavioral ability, "Then you go back by yourself, and I'll clean up the house." ”

The home has been left unattended for more than a month, and I want to clean it carefully.

In this way, he gave his father part of the cash on his body, and in the Spring Festival full of celebrations, he cleaned the huge house and waited for his father to come back, but this wait, and waited for a problem.

The father borrowed a friend's car and was detained for driving without a license.

"The captain of the traffic police is his own family, it's okay!" The aunt in my hometown told my father on the other end of the phone that he had been released, and then her tone began to become complicated and difficult to understand, "Didn't you see it, you Lao Tzu was holding Coke and drinking, I asked him if you can still drink when you are sick?" He said that he dared to drink all but human blood! ”

I can only be silent.

"Also, that who heard that your Lao Tzu was not in good health, and he came to him from afar and gave him 7,000 yuan, and he went to the casino and lost it as soon as his butt turned."

Hung up the phone, sat on the sofa and looked at the ceiling in a daze, "Who made him my son......"

Two days later, my father came back penniless, and it was useless to say anything, and he brought up the matter again as if it had never happened.

"Wait two more days." "The day after tomorrow." "What are you anxious about?" The father kept prevaricating, and he found out that in fact, his father didn't want to take Chinese medicine anymore, and he could probably guess the reason - Chinese medicine is hard to eat, so you should avoid it. Dialysis, on the other hand, is to give up all hope of healing to give people a new life, so there are no longer any harsh requirements in diet.

Therefore, my father gave up the hope of becoming a healthy person and chose to rely on dialysis to maintain his life, which means that until he dies, he will have to carry such a burden to live.

"There's no money to go." Until the last time he had a quarrel with his father.

"You have money to gamble! You have money to eat! The anger accumulated during this period of time completely exploded, and he no longer cared about his father's face, "Do you have the money to do dialysis for 10,000 yuan a month, and you don't have the money to take 3,000 Chinese medicine a month?"

"This disease can't be cured in the whole world, so the old man can be optimistic?" Not to be outdone, his father yelled, and at this moment he deliberately forgot the elder in the family who had been successfully treated.

The two continued to quarrel, and neither of them would let anyone, and finally the father said something about money, "What money have you spent on me?" ”

"......" was completely dead in the face of this sentence, and returned to the company in the neighboring city and never stepped back to his home.

Yes, I don't have much money.

But I've got it all for you......

After returning to the company, he quietly waited for the news of his father's death to come, but after a year of lonely waiting, his father, who thought he could not afford the heavy medical bills, still relied on dialysis to persist.

"Your second uncle and eldest uncle are raising him." His mother told herself on the phone, "The medical insurance and medical assistance have been completed, and now the dialysis is a few dozen yuan per time, and he will not be able to die for a while." ”

"Oh......"

"When I asked you to leave him alone, you didn't listen, I have lived with him for more than ten years, I don't know who he is? If you don't help him, did he die a long time ago? The mother was a little angry, but her tone softened immediately, "That's fine, otherwise you will regret not saving him in the future, now you can see who he is, right?" ”

Illness is hereditary, deterioration is natural, gambling is venting...... At this point, all of this is not the result of his own actions in the father's consciousness, but the cause of his grandmother, mother, uncle, second uncle, and his own son.

It's not me who is wrong, it's the whole world.

Yes, the father is such a person.

Hang up the phone and take out a syringe in the refrigerator, which contains insulin for diabetics.

In addition to being used to alleviate diabetes, this medicine also has an effect, only 3 milligrams can make a normal person die without pain in a minute, and it is easily available in major pharmacies.

"People who want to commit suicide generally have too much inner drama in themselves, in fact, there are many people who care about him, and he just wants to use suicide as a means to get more attention." Li looked at himself who was trembling and pointed the syringe to his arm and sneered, "And we rotten people who have nothing, the more no one cares, the more we have to rely on it to survive!" ”

"Ahh Li screamed and threw the syringe on the ground, crying and frantically stomping the syringe to pieces......

From the heartfelt hatred in the first year, the crazy desire to see him die alone in bed like a grandmother, to the calm face in the second year, the third year no longer cares about his father, and he is already a stranger to him.

In the fourth year, he was ready to pick himself up again and live for himself, while the image before him was still on the whizzing car......

"As a result, I died before you......" With the high consumption of mental power, Li returned to reality from the illusion space in the sharp pain in his brain, and with a strong feeling of dizziness and vomiting, he grabbed the turf on the ground with the green tendons of his hands bursting, and unconsciously burst into tears.

"Really, hate......" In the gradually cold eyes, the two magatakus under the five-pointed star pattern gradually rotated and fused into three-magatas.