After two quarters of an hour, Buddha Yin couldn't help but dream: "Concubine Wen, sister, don't go, just come and leave, how can you be worthy of me?" It's rare that the old man is so obsessed with you, can't you see it, and once exhausted the oil of my life, exhausted my life's work, dedicated to you, for the mother, wrote 5, 5 love poems, if the old man has troubles, he would have written a white head, fortunately, fortunately, fortunately, I had the foresight to shave these troubles, otherwise, I, the virtuous brother of Dongpo, should laugh at me again, laugh at me. ”

"What? wrote so many love poems for Concubine Wen, what a love monk, tell me quickly, which 5 are they? Su Shi, who was serving beside him, patted him and asked.

Originally, Concubine Wen planned to take a walk after dinner, taking advantage of the pleasant spring. I thought that Brother Foyin was so crazy, and suddenly became interested, and listened attentively, wanting to hear those love poems written by this high monk.

"Lovesick is like madness, heart is like ashes, who do you complain to for emaciation? Do you want to tell Brother Dongpo? Or tell the monks of Jinshan Temple? Or is it a villain? Or is it long live? Does Concubine Wen know, do you know? ”

"Brother Ren, love monk, great love monk, continue, keep talking." Su Shi urged, Concubine Wen was on the side, listening carefully, her face was red when she heard it, and she kept covering her hot peach cheeks with her hands, she really wanted to run away, but these poems, every word, every word, are really heartfelt words, they are so charming, they can be described as "unstoppable"!

"Acacia has turned into ashes, and there is always no chance to kiss Fangze. Why are you, you are the emperor's concubine? How can the old man compete with the royal family, contend with it? ”

"Brother Ren, these poems are so touching, they can be described as lingering and compassionate, far more than the word I wrote for Wang Fu to remember dreams, it can be described as 'a poem through the ages', continue, continue, Concubine Wen is listening, you must read it to your sweetheart, otherwise, there will be no chance in the future, it will not be good, and you will have to kill your head!" Su Shi was like crazy and kept urging.

"Okay, Concubine Wen is listening, she is in the middle of her arms, and she will meet Qing in the next life, and Yushu is a young man in the wind."

Concubine Wen was very intoxicated when she heard this, and her heart kept turning over the river and the sea, this high monk, this love monk, if he was dozens of years younger, maybe the palace really chose him? Why did he bother to become a monk? Thinking of me, the elder brother of the monk, I am so bitter and bitter, alone with the long scroll of green lanterns, either hanging on each other, or inviting the moon to drink, or daydreaming...... The cloud is the hometown, the water is the home, the green light is the sun, the long scroll is like the cloud, this versatile and amorous life, it's a pity! It hurts! Alas!

After listening to the dream love poem of Buddha Yin, Concubine Wen had mixed feelings, let's go, the sun is just right, on the shore of this lake and mountains, Concubine Wen wants to completely relax.

Concubine Wen learned that in order to pickle dried plum vegetables here, like Bashu, use the dried plum vegetables made of rice to dry the plum vegetables, and use the steamed plum vegetables to buckle the *** Concubine sent the maids to open the dried vegetables, lay out the quilts and pillows, and sleep with the sisters next to each other, under the touch of the warm spring sun, how beautiful. Bursts of floral fragrance wafting in the wind, this mixed with strange fragrance, there is a strong cauliflower fragrance, there is an elegant peach blossom fragrance, there is an unfamiliar floral fragrance, maybe it is the floral fragrance of fruits such as longan lychee, where can you still use those vulgar and cheesy spices in the palace? Even if it's precious ambergris. (Note, 簟, sound the same as electricity)

Hey, such a big house with a big bed made of heaven and earth, and the colorful sunshine as a golden mosquito net, it is so romantic, what more can the husband ask for? The sounds of birds, roosters and hens foraging and laughing make up a group of beautiful lullaby.

Concubine Wen didn't want to torture everyone like this, so she ordered the warriors to take the initiative to adjust to two or three shifts, taking turns to take a lunch break, and the warriors were grateful, and thanked them repeatedly: "Concubine Wen Niangniang Chitose Chitose, Chitose Chitose, Chitose Chitose, I wish the maidens a good night's sleep, forever childlike and childlike, and charming!" It was the turn of the warrior to protect the flowers, and he sat calmly and leisurely, staring at the beauties, as if admiring a wonderful incense painting, and immediately became acute. As for the rest of the masters, simply choose a clean stone slab in the courtyard, lie down on the spot, and fall asleep.

The sisters continued to fall asleep, Concubine Wen's heart fluctuated, she was uneasy for a long time, secretly happy, and meditated: In fact, this world is more beautiful in the eyes of women, delicate flowers, weak willows, fragrant fruits, fresh vegetables, splendid pastorals, rippling water waves, and even insects and birds chirping, can attract the palace for a long time, rarely for a man inexplicably sad or even dreaming, in the final analysis, it is because there is an affectionate Emperor Xu, in the attachment to the palace, inexplicably fell into the deep pool of mutual feelings, lost the north and south, and did not see the ancient and modern......

The sun shines on the face, shines on the body, this is a kind of warmth that penetrates the skin, it used to be just walking and sitting, but at this moment, lying down unrestrained, how comfortable it is! In particular, her eyes are so warm, she is simply the skin that can feel the warmth the most, how can Concubine Wen wait to look at it, bend the humerus to cover it, how afraid she is of sunburning. Yan Aiqing, what kind of ascetic monk you are, your life of eating and drinking is unimaginable, but in your whole life, have you indulged in the sun once, sunbathing like me? Even if it's once, it won't come to this world in vain! This is a true and spontaneous experience that has never been experienced, and fortunately, these two clear springs will not be ignited by the sun. Look at the sisters again, the red lips are so gorgeous, the cherry fruit that has been raced in early spring, the peach blossom bones that have been raced in Yangchun, and the begonia flowers that have been raced in late spring, if Emperor Xu sees it, he will definitely "never go to court from now on", thinking of this, Concubine Wen couldn't help but snicker, but she was afraid of waking up her sisters, so she had to steal joy in her heart, and in the endless drunkenness, Concubine Wen also slept sweetly.

Su Shi saw that the beauties were so profligate, and there was no one in their eyes, and the women were still like this, not to mention the eyebrows? simply asked the master's family to move two dustpans, moved the Buddha seal inside, one lay on a round dustpan, and took a lunch break wantonly.

An hour and a half later, everyone woke up, Concubine Wen originally planned to go back immediately, but she was nostalgic for spring, this was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to relax.

"Niangniang, I advise you not to go, tomorrow morning I will take you to enjoy the longan forest in the mist, you beauties in the deep palace, how have you ever seen it?"

"Okay, I want to be in the Great Song Dynasty, there are pictures everywhere, we rarely play once, how can we lose a great opportunity to enjoy the scenery?"

"Niangniang, the little one will make longan primers for you, okay? The people in our area often drink this primer and rarely get tired, maybe it has a tonic effect. ”

"Okay, such a natural drink, it must be delicious." The beauties readily agreed.

"Boss, come and brag with us." Concubine Wen called.

Concubine Wen made longan rose tea, and beauties followed suit, and Su Shi Buddha made longan Baitang tea.

"Concubine Wen, the poems and lyrics you are talking about, the little ones don't understand it at all, and they are not interested, why don't you ask Master Su to tell me about the interesting things between our Song Dynasty and the ministers, let me have a little more knowledge, okay?"

Su Shi thought for a while, and calmly said: "In the history of my Shenzhou, we Song Dynasty people love to read the most. Reading became fashionable throughout the Great Song Dynasty, and even the emperor was no exception, and it was a paradise for scholars. In fact, the elegant people of our dynasty not only love to read, but also have a great sense of humor.

During the reign of Emperor Taizong of the Song Dynasty, Hu Dan (referring to Zhao Guangyi, the second emperor of the Song Dynasty) was known as the most confident champion in the history of the imperial examination. In his later years, Hu Dan suffered from eye disease and lived at home and did not go out. There is a historian who wrote a biography for a nobleman, because he was born poor and lowly, and he once killed pigs as a profession, and the historian was very embarrassed: if you don't write it, it's not a true record, but if you write it, it's taboo. When he was hesitating, he made an appointment to ask Hu Dan for advice. When Hu Dan learned what happened, he couldn't help laughing: What's so difficult about this? Isn't it enough to say that he once 'slaughtered the knife and showed his ambition to slaughter the world'? The historians looked at each other and smiled, all of them admired. ”

"Well, what a Hu Dan, such nonsense, enough to spin the world, it can be seen that the facts are like fish and meat, but the clever words are like knives, good eloquence, enough to turn decay into magic." Concubine Wen was impressed and praised happily.

"What's more, the matter of the scholar Ding Wei is also unbearable. (Ding is 966-1037, the word is called, and the word is changed to Gongyan, Changzhou County, Jiangsu Province, now Suzhou.) Song Zhenzong Dazhong Xiangfu served as the deputy minister of the governor from the fifth to the ninth year of 1012-1016, and from the third year of Tianxi to the first year of Qianxing from 1019 to 1022, he was re-appointed as the governor of the political affairs, the privy envoy, and the official minister of the Pingzhang under the door of the same book, and he was in the phase for a total of seven years. Take the poems to visit Wang Yuyan, and get Wang Yuyan's appreciation, thinking that his literary style is comparable to that of talented descendants, and compared with Han Yu and Liu Zongyuan, he gave a poem: Five hundred years of literary sluggishness, straight from Han Liu to Sun Ding, now you can make the history, the two sons' articles are like the Six Classics. Since then, Ding Wei has taken Sun He as his opponent. In the same year, he participated in the imperial examination, Sun He won the first place in high school, and Ding Wei ranked fourth, and he was angry. Song Taizong knew about this, and said to Ding Wei humorously: A, B, C, and Ding, since your surname is Ding, you deserve to be the fourth, no need to complain! ”

Hahahaha, everyone was very amused, and they said: "It's funny, just have the surname 'A'." ”

"Anything else?" The crowd was so fascinated that they forgot to drink tea.

"Han Qi, who went through the three dynasties of Renzong, Yingzong and Shenzong of the Northern Song Dynasty, (Han Qi is Zhigui, self-named Gansuo, Anyang, Xiangzhou, and now Anyang, Henan. Northern Song Dynasty politician and lyricist. Han Qi was a Jinshi in the fifth year of Tiansheng in 1027. During the reign of Song Renzong, he and Fan Zhongyan led the army to defend the Western Xia, and enjoyed a high prestige in the army, known as 'Han Fan'. At that time, there was a ballad in the frontier: There was a Han in the army, and the western thief was cold when he heard it; There was a fan in the army, and the western thieves were shocked when they heard it. ﹚

This person was a former senior scholar of the Imperial Palace. When he was serving in Yedi, he once attended a wedding, saw that there was a lychee on the table, stretched out his hand to take it, and a white seat (northern folklore: a person who specially greets guests or serves as a handyman when organizing red and white ceremonies) saw it, and sang in a long voice: The senior minister wants to eat lychee, please eat lychee with all the guests. Han Qi was disgusted, his hand stretched out and retracted, but he didn't expect Bai Xi to drag and sing in a long voice: The senior minister is angry, please put down the lychees. When Han Qi heard this, he couldn't help but sigh. ”

"This white seat, it's too annoying, let this celebrity Sven sweep the floor, he is so unkind to treat people, if it were me, I would have let him get out." The safety hug was uneven, and he shouted angrily.

"It's just a trivial matter, and you can't get along with a university scholar, and you can't even do the trivial thing of eating some lychees, but fortunately, Han Qi is generous, otherwise he would have turned his face with him a long time ago, and he can still laugh." Buddha Yin said, in fact, it was for Su to listen to, because the virtuous brother is a "lychee fan".

The boss was grateful, and hurriedly handed the bachelor tea, and asked, "Master Su, it is even more detailed and beautiful than Mr. Teaching, can you please tell another story?" ”

The Northern Song Dynasty historian Liu Chu is praised by others. But he is alienated, does not cultivate prestige, and is humorous, although he regrets a few tricks, he can't change it. In his later years, he suffered from wind disease, his eyebrows fell off, and the bridge of his nose collapsed. One day, I went to visit with my friends. During the banquet, everyone played with the poems of the ancients. I looked at Liu Chu and laughed happily: The wind is blowing and the eyebrows are flying, and the warriors are guarding the bridge of their noses? After everyone heard this, they stroked their stomachs and laughed, but Liu Chu sat aside, alone and silent.

Everyone sitting was amused and laughed wildly, and Fo Yin looked at Concubine Wen because he had drunk a lot of wine: "Niangniang, you can talk about this matter, okay?" ”

"Well, what a good Liu Chu, I finally met the most difficult opponent that day, Mr. Su, I tried a knife, and he was submissive, this is called treating him in the way of others, and the way is one foot high, and the devil is one foot high, it seems that Mr. Su, you are the 'poetry demon' of my Great Song Dynasty!"

Everyone was overjoyed, deeply impressed by the merry and eloquent Bachelor Su, and was intoxicated for a long time by the happy comments of Fang Lan's concubine Niangniang.

As for the Buddha seal, the strength of the wine seems to have not passed, and he shouted in his heart with satisfaction: "The old man is willing to be a 'poetry demon' admired by ten thousand people, and he is never willing to be a 'love demon'......"

Note: Liu Chu (pronounced the same as 'general', 1023~1089): Northern Song Dynasty historian. Liu Chang's younger brother. The word Gongfu, a tribute father, Gan father, the number of Gongfei. Jiangxi people. Qingli Jinshi, successively served as the governor of Caozhou, Yanzhou, Bozhou, and Caizhou, and was an official to the middle school. He has devoted his life to historiography and is rigorous. Assisted Sima Guang to compile and repair "Zizhi Tongjian" from a family of poets and calligraphers, tired of worshipping Chinese scholars, and Sima Guang practiced "Zizhi Tongjian".