Seeing righteousness and courage should be a memorable thing, but when Yang Sijie returned home, he always felt a feeling of losing his soul in his heart. Pen, fun, and www.biquge.info

He felt as if he had lost something important, that melancholy feeling, that low mood, as if he had fallen out of love.

"How does it feel to be out of love?" Yang Sijie smiled self-deprecatingly, he hasn't been in love until now, how can he know what it's like to be out of love!

Yang Sijie adjusted his mood, turned on the computer, and transferred the photos taken today to the computer, and then looked at them one by one.

"It's not a good shot! Deleted! ”

"This one isn't good either! Deleted! ”

"This one won't work either! Deleted! ”

Yang Sijie looked at the photos he had taken this morning and deleted two-thirds of them.

Then Yang Sijie began to look at it a second time, and finally only a dozen photos were left. But the dozen or so photos left behind also made Yang Sijie more and more unpleasant, and he had an urge to delete them all.

Yang Sijie suddenly found that his photography level was really poor, not to mention compared with those real photographers, even the photos in the college student photography exhibition in the school were several times stronger than the photos he took.

Yang Sijie felt a little depressed, since he was a child, he has always been the best among his peers, he inherited his father's excellent IQ, as if nothing can be difficult for him, as long as he is willing to do something, he can do it very well.

But today, he has to admit that the photos he took are indeed bad enough.

Yang Sijie sighed, he opened the webpage, and went to the blogs of several photographers in a row to enjoy their latest works, but the more he watched, the more Yang Sijie felt that there was an incomparably huge gap between himself and those professional photographers.

"I want to practice more, practice makes perfect!"

Yang Sijie thought of this and looked out the window.

Today's weather is very good, the sun is about to set, so Yang Sijie walked out with a camera again, he decided to take pictures of the beautiful scenery of the sunset!

……

Two hours later, Yang Sijie returned home, looking at the set of photos he had just taken, still with a depressed face.

"It's not what I wanted!" Yang Sijie sighed silently.

"Ding Dong!" The voice of WeChat sounded, Yang Sijie picked up his mobile phone and found that it was a message from a group chat, which was a WeChat group of photography enthusiasts at Tsinghua University that he had joined.

One of the group members has just uploaded a few photos, which are also taken of the sunset scene.

"It's much better than me." The so-called no contrast, no harm, Yang Sijie's expression instantly became bitter.

At this moment, Yang Sijie suddenly felt that the photography he had been looking forward to, when it was really done, did not seem to bring him the slightest sense of satisfaction and achievement.

In the past, Yang Sijie felt extremely excited and excited every time he recalled those so-called "photography skills", and looked forward to the day when he could operate and verify it himself. In the practice just now, Yang Sijie did not feel the slightest passion.

Yang Sijie was in a state of confusion, he picked up the brand-new camera again, and leaned back in the chair quietly.

This camera used to be something he dreamed of, and when he first got it, he really couldn't put it down.

However, now, Yang Sijie feels that there is no joy in his heart, he can no longer feel that strong sense of expectation, he feels like a child, he has taken a fancy to a favorite toy, and when he can't get it, he tries all kinds of ways to cry to his parents, and after getting it, he feels that it's just like that.

At this moment, Yang Sijie was keenly aware that his interest in photography was gradually disappearing.

"Three minutes of heat!" Yang Sijie remembered this sentence, but he didn't want to admit that he was like this.

"I want to be a photographer!" Yang Sijie muttered to himself, as if he was deliberately emphasizing to himself.

However, deep down in his heart, there seemed to be a voice that kept repeating a few words:

"Nope! I'm an athlete! ”

Yang Sijie suddenly thought that during the day, when the police officer asked if he was an athlete, he blurted out "I am an athlete".

Yang Sijie knew that it was his instinctive reaction, and he said this sentence without any thought at that time.

"How so! I should hate sprinting, I don't want to be an athlete! Yang Sijie's eyes revealed a sense of confusion, the more he pondered about this matter, the more there was an inseparable emotion in his heart.

Suddenly, Yang Sijie realized that he had been practicing sprinting for five years, and deep down, he had already regarded himself as an athlete.

"I don't want to be an athlete! I'm going to be a photographer! Yang Sijie was a little annoyed, and he picked up the camera again, trying to convince himself to continue the dream of being a photographer.

The camera was held in Yang Sijie's hand, but at this time it made him feel more and more heavy, this is not just a photographic equipment, for Yang Sijie at this moment, this seems to have become a burden!

The source of the burden came from his desire to become a photographer!

Yang Sijie became more and more annoyed, he felt that this should be his hobby, something he liked, and doing what he liked should be full of interest, and he should not feel that it was a burden!

"Maybe I don't really like photography at all!" The idea popped up in Yang Sijie's head.

"What if my dad hadn't asked me to be an athlete and instead had asked me to be a photographer? Do I still hate sprinting? Am I going to hate being a photographer too? ”

Yang Sijie's thoughts became confused, he closed his eyes, and forced himself to calm down and not to think too much about things.

"Maybe, if my father had asked me to learn photography, I wouldn't have wanted to be a photographer!"

This idea suddenly popped into Yang Sijie's mind, and he felt shuddered, because he suddenly realized a problem!

What he dislikes is not sprinting, what he rejects is not athletes, what he dislikes, what he rejects, is actually his father's arrangement!

He has always hoped that he can have his own choice, but he has never had this opportunity, the disgust in his heart, the rejection in his heart, is only the dissatisfaction and resistance to his father!

Yang Sijie stood up suddenly, and a shocked color appeared in his eyes.

"I don't really want to be a photographer!" Yang finally realized this, and he realized that being a photographer was not his dream.

The so-called dream of a photographer is nothing more than a projection of his desire for independence and autonomy, and this projection can be replaced, it can be a photographer, a painter, a musician, or a writer.

The key is not what profession to engage in, but that you don't need to succumb to your father's arrangement, you don't need to obey your father's instructions, and you can control your own life!

Yang Sijie suddenly felt a little painful and a little confused, he knew that he didn't really want to be a photographer, he felt that he had lost his purpose in life, and he felt even more overwhelmed.

What Yang longed for was some freedom to decide his own business, and now, he did, his father respected his choice, and he didn't know what to do next.

"Your youth, you make your own decisions!"

Li Dai's words rolled in Yang Sijie's mind again.

Yang Sijie's eyes involuntarily cast to the corner of the room, the training clothes he usually wore had already been thrown there by him.

He stood up silently, walked over, grabbed the training coat, and looked at it quietly.

In his mind, he suddenly remembered that when he was 14 years old, he participated in the middle school track and field competition and won the championship for the first time.

He still remembers that after the starting gun rang out, he rode to the front until he crossed the finish line.

It's been five years apart, but that scene still makes Yang Sijie feel extremely real!

He turned his head and looked at his bookshelf, where there was the trophy of the year, the first trophy he had won, the dust that had been covered with it, the gilded luster that could have been used as a mirror, had faded with the passage of time.

Yang Sijie involuntarily walked over and picked up the trophy, at this moment, he seemed to feel that what he was holding was something that would be difficult to give up for a lifetime.

"Five years! I've been practicing for five years! Yang Sijie lowered his head, but tears burst out of his eyes uncontrollably!

At this moment, Yang Sijie finally realized what he had given up and what he had lost.

After five years of training, Yang Sijie has become an athlete, his body is flowing with the blood of athletes, and the three words "athlete" seem to be an imprint, which has already been engraved into his bone marrow and cannot be erased!

"I'm an athlete!"

In this second, Yang Sijie finally understood what he really wanted.

……

on the training ground.

Li Dai said to Niu Guohong: "This training of ground-picking wheel running requires psychological orientation to swing the leg to the highest point to quickly extend the hip and press down, and at the same time the god calf whips the ground, and the supporting leg bends the hip and swings forward......"

Li Dai said as he personally demonstrated the essentials of the movements, but he found that Niu Guohong's eyes were looking behind him, that is, in the direction of the entrance of the training ground.

Li Dai turned his head and saw a familiar figure.

"It's Yang Sijie, hasn't he already quit the team? How did you come back again? Still wearing a training suit? Li Dai suddenly felt a little surprised, but in the next second, he also realized something.

Yang Sijie quickly ran to Li Dai's approach, he looked at Li Dai, and his eyes were full of determination.

"Coach, I've figured it out, I'm an athlete! I'm going to be a real athlete! ”