"The Rich Eight Makes a Table"

The tiger feasted, and all the beasts arrived.

The rich king sat down at the table,

Foxes who have no money eat chicken skin.

The fox felt quite breathless,

Stole Wang Ba's lighter.

The 22nd day of the seventh month of the lunar calendar is known as the God of Wealth Festival, and every time the believers on this festival are pious, burn incense offerings, light firecrackers, dress up, kowtow to worship God, in order to seek good luck!

It is said that in the early morning of this day, there was little sound on the earth, and the living beings were still in the process of swallowing and cultivating.

Yun Xiaoman has always been sleepy, but this day is unusual, he is very energetic, he gets up early to dress up, and he is like two bad girls who were languishing and decadent in the past.

"Get rich, get rich, I want to get rich! Get rich, get rich, I want to get rich! ......" Yun Xiaoman hummed while washing, and his mood was particularly beautiful.

"Lu Yuan is up!"

"Lu Yuan is up!"

……

Yun Xiaoman shouted a few times and saw that there was no response, and muttered in his mouth: "What kind of Nandou Xingjun are you, I think it is Marshal Tianpeng!" ”

"Little Dragon Girl, I'm your pig brother." Yun Xiaoman looked in the mirror, pressed his nose into a pig nostril, and lowered his voice, imitating the tone of Zhu Bajie in the TV series.

"Hehe, it's really like a pig! It's ugly..."Yun Xiaoman looked at the pig's nose in the mirror and couldn't help but laugh at himself.

"You, you! I don't know what to do, such a slim and beautiful girl in front of you, why shouldn't you be moved? What is the reason to ignore it? What a stupid pig! Hum! Yun Xiaoman pointed to Zhu Bajie in the mirror, and suddenly spoke viciously to each other.

After Yun Xiaoman finished grooming, dressed up with a solemn expression, he began the annual worship of the God of Wealth.

Yun Xiaoman is like a skilled shaman, he has no thoughts in his heart, his movements are fast but not chaotic, and he methodically puts on a number of plates of offering fruits, melons, fruits, pears and peaches, crispy and crispy.

Then, Xiao Man turned around and went to the storage room to get two fiery red candles, and struck a match to light the two red candles.

Then he went back to the storeroom, took a whole handful of incense, and swooped it down on the flame of the red candle and lit it.

Then Yun Xiaoman was in awe, held his breath and concentrated, held the incense in his hand and swayed from side to side, so that the flame on the incense was extinguished, and then held the incense in both hands and inserted it into the incense burner.

After all this was done, Yun Xiaomanlian moved lightly, turned around and walked towards the door of the store.

With a "squeak", Yun Xiaoman seemed to tear off the sleeping spell, and other store doors opened one after another.

"Xiaoman, it's so early!" An uncle who had just opened the door of the store greeted Yun Xiaoman, who was standing on the street.

"Hehe, yes, rob the God of Wealth today." Yun Xiaoman said perfunctorily with a smile.

"It seems that this year's God of Wealth, we can't rob you, gotta got! Xiaoman, get rich, don't forget to let our old neighbors be happy! ”

Yun Xiaoman shook his head, smiled silently, and thought: Where did my funeral home get its joy? Be all abroad.

Yun Xiaoman raised his head and looked up at the sky, the moon was hanging high, the starlight was sparse, a few dark clouds drifted by from time to time, and through the hazy moonlight, a few stray cats could be faintly seen on the street...

Yun Xiaoman was in a daze, the sky gradually brightened, the east revealed the white of the fish's belly, and everything was about to wake up.

"Not good!" Yun Xiaoman walked straight back to the store, dragged out a plate of 10,000 firecrackers and spread it at the door of the store, ready for battle.

Yun Xiaoman squatted next to the firecracker, trembling and leisurely took out the lighter, but his body did not obey the call, and his thumb was placed on the lighter button for a long time, his mind was uncertain, and he did not dare to press it, like a hesitant bomb disposal man.

As time passed, Yun Xiaoman had to pull the trigger hard, and before he could check what was going on, he turned around like a loach and went into the store, shouting as he ran: "Ahhhh Scared to death! Scared to death! ”

The scene is like a frightened crow, cheering "ya~ya~" after escaping.

As everyone knows, on the way back, Xiao Man's panicked footsteps almost stepped on the stray cat next to him, but fortunately, the cat's movements were more sensitive, and he jumped on the eaves as light as a swallow.

Yun Xiaoman returned to the store and stood on tiptoe excitedly, covering his ears with both hands, waiting for the horn of victory!

Time passed minute by minute, and the firecrackers were as unwavering as backwater.

Yun Xiaoman had no choice but to try again...

Squatting, igniting, turning around and running, covering his ears, and waiting, Yun Xiaoman cycled seven or eight times like this, but the heavens and the earth were still the same, and the sun and the moon were unharmed.

At this time, the stray cats squatting on the eaves couldn't sit still, and leaned over and screamed "meow" at Yun Xiaoman, as if mocking Yun Xiaoman's cowardice like a mouse.

With the passage of time, a red sun has risen in the east, and there are open shops scattered on the street.

"Not good!"

Yun Xiaoman: "Wow, hmm...", hurriedly ran upstairs.

"Bang Bang Bang"

There was a sharp knock on the door.

"Lu Yuan, Lu Yuan, Lu Yuan! Hurry up, uncle! Yun Xiaoman shouted.

Lu Yuan opened the door, his sleepy eyes were hazy, he yawned, and shouted angrily when he got up: "Report the funeral!" What's wrong with it? ”

Yun Xiaoman didn't say a word, pulled Lu Yuan and ran downstairs. Anyway, the two of them stopped in front of the firecrackers, Yun Xiaoman pulled Lu Yuan's clothes and feet and said, "Hey, big brother, help me!" ”

Lu Yuan snickered when he heard this: "That's it!" I thought something was going on! It's early in the morning! ”

"Don't you dare?" Lu Yuan lowered his head and asked.

"Dare! What would not dare! Yun Xiaoman's face was firm.

"Then you can go and wake me up yourself. I'm not ready to go to work yet, so I'm going to catch up on some sleep! After Lu Yuan finished speaking, he turned around and was about to leave.

Yun Xiaoman was in a hurry, so he had to grab Lu Yuan and say, "I haven't finished talking yet, don't be in a hurry to leave!" Dare is dare, but just can't point it! ”

"I'm down..."Lu Yuan was shocked when he heard Yun Xiaoman's incredible words, and he was almost shocked.

At this time, the sound of firecrackers suddenly sounded elsewhere, "crackling..."

The defenseless duo were frightened and clever.

"Less nonsense, hurry!"

Yun Xiaoman couldn't help but stuff the lighter into Lu Yuan's hand, looked at the situation on the street again, and eagerly pushed Lu Yuan out and shouted: "Go and order, you can't fall behind in robbing the God of Wealth!" I'm not done with you! ”

"Oooh! Got it! Lu Yuan said that, and walked straight over, his body was not leaning, and his hands were not shaking.

"Crackling, crackling..."

After a while, people nearby heard a signal, and firecrackers rang out everywhere.

In an instant, the sound of firecrackers resounded in the sky.

When the sound of firecrackers gradually died down, Lu Yuan couldn't help but ask curiously: "Xiao Man, why do we rush in front of them and release the whip?" Isn't it the same in the morning and in the evening? ”

"What do you know, because today is the God of Wealth Festival, whoever releases it first, the God of Wealth will go to someone's house first!" Yun Xiaoman said innocently.

Lu Yuan couldn't help but laugh out loud when he heard this...

"Don't giggle, come and worship the God of Wealth with me!" Yun Xiaoman said and pulled Lu Yuan to the offering table, ready to kowtow and worship God.

"Make no mistake, I'm also an immortal! What's more, I am the same generation as your God of Wealth! Do I worship him? If he doesn't flatten, he's good! Lu Yuan shook off Yun Xiaoman and hugged his arms, looking unruly.

"Huh... What a stinking fart! Do you know him? Then why are you so poor! Yun Xiaoman scoffed at Lu Yuan's arrogance.

"Well... Each performs his own duties, I want to worship you, I don't worship anyway! Lu Yuan said categorically.

When Yun Xiaoman saw Lu Yuan say this, he no longer insisted on it, walked to the offering table with a pious face, knelt down and kowtowed twice, and got up.

"Lu Yuan, go and get the two brooms behind the stairs."

"What are you doing with it, and what are you going to do?"

"Let's sweep all the firecracker skins we just put in, and it's not good to let others sweep them away!"

"Are you crazy? Who will grab the firecracker skin! Besides, who wants to rob him, it just happens to save cleaning! Lu Yuan looked disdainful.

"You know a fart, according to local customs, this is called sweeping money!"

Yun Xiaoman pulled Lu Yuanlai, pointed to the firecracker skins all over the ground, and said, "The firecracker skin at this time is not the firecracker skin at that time, this is actually the wealth given by the God of Wealth!" Whoever sweeps it away is theirs! This year's fortune depends on it! Go find it, stop talking nonsense! Yun Xiaoman yelled impatiently.

Lu Yuan had no choice but to look for a broom at the top of the stairs, and there were words in his mouth: "God of Wealth, you can hurt me."

After a while, Lu Yuan came out with two big brooms and handed them to Yun Xiaoman. It is worth mentioning that the broom also has turquoise leaves on its branches, which are obviously unused.

Yun Xiaoman picked up a broom to sweep the wind and the moon, divided the "property" by two, put the "property" under his account, and patted the dust on his hands: "It's done!" Well, this time we can go back to the house and rest. ”

"Okay!"

Yun Xiaoman walked in front, Lu Yuan followed closely, and as soon as the two stepped into the door, they found a lot of walnut shells scattered on the ground.

"What did you eat?" Yun Xiaoman turned his head and asked.

"No! Didn't we both go out and sweep the money just now, how can I have time to come in! Lu Yuan said.

"Huh? That's weird, who did this? With doubts, Yun Xiaoman continued to search along the remnants of the shell...

The more I walked in, I found more walnut shells, until I reached the innermost room, and saw a person lying on a chair, with a lazy posture, presumptuous behavior, and spit out walnut shells from time to time in his mouth...