As he spoke, the old man's eyes turned red, and he lowered his head and wiped it with a handkerchief.

Sun Ziyun sat helplessly, not daring to look at the old man who exuded a heavy loneliness, and after seeing the living room that was too deserted after seeing the dress that remained the same every year.

"Auntie, where's Uncle?" Sun Ziyun asked in a low voice.

The old man looked up at her, looked at her fair face, showed a faint smile, and the wrinkles at the corners of his eyes were even deeper.

"He, I went to buy tofu, just two old guys, I burned three bowls of vegetables on the day of the New Year, and I ate some tofu every day, which is just right, and I can save bites."

Sun Ziyun looked at the old man's old black cotton jacket, gray hair, reading glasses off, his face was full of wrinkles, the corners of his eyes drooped, and he looked even older.

But she knows that a long time ago, people in their forties and fifties were also very fashionable, dancing square dances, having smartphones early, dyeing their hair black as soon as they were gray, and dressing very foreign.

Now I feel old when I wear anything, and I don't need to eat anything, just eat some tofu.

When the heart is old, the whole person is old.

Sun Ziyun's throat moved, and his voice was dry: "You and your uncle are still young." ”

The old man shook his head, "Old, I will be in the coffin in a few years, so I can go with my Xiaoqing." ”

Her voice exuded twilight, as if the whole person was about to die, drooping and old.

Sun Ziyun's body shook and moved to the side, but the old man didn't notice it.

"Auntie, what were you looking at just now? Can you tell me? ”

"Xiaoqing wrote it." The old man touched the screen of his phone with his finger and whispered.

"The ...... She Left Behind"

Sun Ziyun's pupils shrank sharply, and his throat tightened, "Auntie, can you show me?" ”

The old man did not hesitate and handed her the phone directly.

Sun Ziyun took it with trembling fingers, and it was a photo taken in the gallery.

She exited and clicked in, looking at the first one, her expression changed, and then she calmed down again.

It was a suicide note, written on a piece of A4 paper, and then photographed by a mobile phone:

[Mom and Dad, when you saw this suicide note, I must have been in the hospital, either in the rescue, or I was already dead.

If I can rescue it, maybe this suicide note looks just scared.

If I can't wake up again, don't be too upset!

I always remember when I was very young, I was very naughty and only played with boys.

Mom, you said that I was like a leather monkey at that time, I couldn't say no, I had to fight.

After that, I got sick and soon couldn't move at all, and then when my condition was under control, I was able to walk to school.

But God seemed to like to play tricks on me, and I went from being able to walk and running to not being able to walk, and then to being able to walk slowly, from the second grade to the ninth grade.

Then the condition worsened and he could no longer walk......

Dad is a very reckless person, but now he will carry me up and down the stairs a few times and say, "I'm old, I can't hold it anymore."

At that time, I was very scared, Mom and Dad, you are getting old, what should I do in the future?

You can't take care of me, and I can't take care of you.

I avoided the problem, but in addition to not being able to walk, there was also a day and night of illness that kept getting worse without interruption.

It hurts during the day, it hurts at night, it hurts at night, it hurts during the day, endlessly, endlessly.

Half of my body couldn't move when it hurt, and I curled up on the bed, shaking uncontrollably.

You're in a hurry on the sidelines, and you can only gently soothe my tense muscles.

I didn't have to think about it to know that my muscles were atrophied all over my body, my bones were deformed, and I must have been ugly and ugly.

And all your energy is poured into me, but after all, there are other friends, neighbors, relatives.

In the winter, my room was nice in the morning, and I sat in a tall wheelchair with a foot-warming box underneath.

The curtains were all opened, and the windows of one wall were not far away, and there was a pale green forest not far away, and the sun was shining on me, which was very warm.

The room was quiet, and downstairs there were many neighbors basking in the sun and laughing with each other.

Most of the time I'm alone, and I've seen a saying: the excitement is theirs, and I don't have anything.

I consoled myself that I had my mom and dad, and my friends and classmates who would visit me when I returned home......

But on days like this, when I look up, the ceiling is my sky, and the living room to the room is my world.

Time with others is extremely limited.

And the pain is endless, and there is always loneliness enveloping me.

Always ask yourself: Was I born to suffer?

I'm already very tired, I always have endless black Chinese medicine, too many things can no longer be eaten, and while eating, often my tongue suddenly loses feeling.

Sweet, salty, sour, inedible, light has no taste at all.

I had eaten too much Chinese and Western medicine for many years, and I was afraid that I would lose my sense of taste and have stomach pain from time to time.

So, what do I live for?

Maybe it's here to drag mom and dad down.

I think it's time for me to go, I like it very much, cultivate immortals, my brain hole is scattered, maybe I'm here to cross the catastrophe, I gave up, so I will cultivate to the end.

Well, forgive me for being uncultured and unable to say anything humorous, just wanting to say something lighthearted, but I can't say it.

I just want to tell you that I am so tired and in pain, and I want to sleep forever, and there is no pain in that dream, no loneliness, no loneliness.

Mom and Dad, I love you very much, and I'm most sorry for you, you will be fine in the future! ……】

A tear slipped from his eyes and dripped on the screen of his mobile phone, Sun Ziyun suddenly came back to his senses and reached out in a panic to wipe away the tears.

When she hurriedly wanted to apologize, Mother Li said, "Auntie, please do me a favor, the paper is still well stored, you can take a few more pictures for me."

I'm afraid that when I accidentally delete a few photos, I won't be able to find them back. ”

Sun Ziyun nodded again and again, watched the old man get up, and came back after a while, the old man held a piece of paper in his hand and carefully put it on the table.

She picked up Li's mother's mobile phone to shoot, looking at hundreds of pictures that kept repeating, she pursed her lips and said:

"If I can, I'll send a few to my phone, in case... I still have a backup on my phone. ”

It was his daughter's suicide note, and the old man was afraid, so Gu had to want to send it to others, so he responded directly.

She didn't know much else, so she thought about what if.

Sun Ziyun returned the mobile phone to Li's mother, and at this moment, there was a sound of footsteps, and it was Li's father who came back.

His back was a little hunched, and his face was the same as that of Mother Li, and he was even more silent than Mother Li.

He just nodded to the visitor and walked straight to the kitchen.

"That's some supplements, the effect is very mild, and there are calcium tablets, uncles and aunts can eat to replenish the body.

Although Yuqing is gone, there are many people who care about you, as she said at the end, you have to be good! ”

Sun Ziyun said carefully.

Mother Li shrunk her shoulders slightly, wiped her eyes and nodded repeatedly.

Sun Ziyun felt guilty in his heart, stepped forward, and pressed his hand on Li's mother's shoulder.

Li's old hand patted her, don't overdo it.

Sun Ziyun's eyes were a little dazed, he didn't expect that he could be so calm with the old man in his previous life.

After getting on the bus, she didn't fully recover from that confused mood.

When she returned to her hometown, she was always in a very low mood.

After getting off the bus, I met Wu Xiaojuan on the edge of the big supermarket, she looked much more mature, and she showed a faint smile when she saw her.

"I'm leaving after the New Year."

Sun Ziyun looked at her, the two were not very strangers, mainly because they would see each other in the same place almost every Qingming Festival.

Most of the time, they met in silence and nodded goodbye silently.

Sun Ziyun was silent for a while, and listened to Wu Xiaojuan say to herself: "I don't want to go to Jiang City, I have to go to cities in other provinces farther away."

But I'll still come back in the future, I'm not sure at other times, maybe I won't come back for the Chinese New Year in the future, but the Qingming Festival will always come back. ”

Sun Ziyun nodded, and after a moment of silence, she asked in a deep voice, "Are you still sad?" ”

Wu Xiaojuan looked up at the sky, the large white clouds contained a faint golden light, and she smiled faintly.

"I still don't know, I've been afraid, I've complained, I've hated, and more I still don't know."

……