"Xinyuan, what's wrong with you?" Gu Xiaoxian took Gu Xinyuan's hand and touched her forehead with concern, "Fortunately, there is no fever." ”

"Huh? Oh! Gu Xinyuan reluctantly pulled out a smile, and said weakly: "I have a little stomach pain, I want to go back and rest directly..."

The two of them walked out of the school building together, and instead of going to the shop or bakery as usual, they walked straight in the direction of the dormitory.

Gu Xinyuan felt really uncomfortable in his heart, so he took Gu Xiaoxian to the playground where the two of them usually whispered.

Gu Xiaoxian saw Gu Xinyuan's frowning and looking preoccupied, so he asked with concern, "Xinyuan, what's wrong with you?" If there is anything you can't think of, you can tell me, even if it can't help you solve the problem, but at least I can share it with you! ”

"Little Fairy!" Gu Xinyuan shouted her friend's name and hugged her suddenly, and before she could start speaking, tears had already flowed, "I'm so uncomfortable!" I don't know what to do! ”

When Gu Xiaoxian heard Gu Xinyuan's cry, she suddenly became nervous, patted her friend's back, and asked gently, "What's wrong?" If you want to cry, cry out! ”

Gu Xinyuan grabbed the clothes on his chest in pain, and cried uncomfortably for a while before finally speaking: "Xiaoxian, can you promise to keep it a secret?" ”

Gu Xiaoxian let go of his arms, pushed Gu Xinyuan out, looked at each other with a serious expression, and swore: "If I, Gu Xiaoxian, tell Gu Xinyuan's secret, I won't have to die!" Now can you say that? ”

Gu Xinyuan shook her head vigorously, hugged her head uncomfortably, bit her lip fiercely, sighed deeply, and said: "This matter is like a cloud of darkness, it makes me uncomfortable, makes me feel unclean, makes me feel stupid, I don't know how to tell you......" After a pause, she continued: "I seem to have remembered something that I shouldn't remember......

"What is it that makes you so miserable?" Gu Xiaoxian asked.

"I don't know how to describe it. In fact, it was something that happened when I was a child, it was about an old man-" Gu Xinyuan bit her lower lip again, closed her eyes tightly, held her breath for a long time, and then took two sharp breaths, and then said: "I seem to have been given by that old man-" She lowered her head, pulled her hair hard, and said bitterly: "I don't know, maybe not, maybe there is, I can't remember clearly." However, I'm sure nothing good happened. ”

"What are you talking about?" Gu Xiaoxian glanced at Gu Xinyuan in disbelief, his breath was suffocated, he took half a step back, lowered his head, and stopped talking.

"I think, that should be-" The corners of Gu Xinyuan's slightly trembling mouth were just about to speak, and the gurgling tears flowing from those eyes full of sadness had already slipped to the corners of his mouth, and he bit his lower lip hard to calm down for a while, and finally crawled out of his mouth with two words: "Lewd ......"

Hearing those two words, Gu Xiaoxian raised her head suddenly, and the memory in her mind with pain and fear instantly overwhelmed her, only to see her left hand covering her heart hard, opening her mouth and panting heavily, the sound of eager and heavy breathing conveyed the girl's fear of struggling but powerless to resist.

Gu Xinyuan saw that Gu Xiaoxian looked like he was about to die, he was so frightened that he forgot everything, and hurriedly stepped forward to help pat his back a few times, and after the other party calmed down, he pretended to be relaxed and said, "Why are you scared like this?" I'm actually nothing, don't you think I'm fine right now? I'm not so-"

"Don't say such stupid things, I know how painful you are, uh-huh, Xinyuan, woo woo, don't be like this, you can cry if you want to cry, don't worry, I'll listen, I'll listen, I'll listen to everything you say......" Gu Xiaoxian cried while repeating his words.

"Hmm..."Gu Xinyuan lay on Gu Xiaoxian's shoulder and cried for a while, and then told the story of what happened when he was a child. After speaking, he sobbed again and again, and said, "Actually, you know what? I told myself it wasn't because nothing had happened, but my heart couldn't help but feel sick. Because I was so young at that time, maybe something terrible would have happened, but I really can't remember it clearly, but if I can't remember it clearly, it will be even more terrifying......"

Gu Xiaoxian grabbed Gu Xinyuan's hands tightly, looked at each other with tears on her face, and said with a painful expression: "I understand, I understand!" ”

Gu Xinyuan shook his head, and then said: "I know that I should be kind, but I can't control myself. Disgust, anger, and even resentment continue to erode me from the moment I think about it, making me feel like I am no longer what I am. Obviously, everything was my fault, all because I didn't run away at that time, didn't refuse, and even looked forward to other people's coaxing. At that time, I could say no, but I didn't do anything, but in the end I was resenting others! It's hypocritical and dirty! It's better to die like this, maybe just die like this, and you won't suffer these tortures again-"

"Nope! No! No! Don't mention death! Gu Xiaoxian dragged her hair stubbornly, covered her ears in pain, pursed her mouth hard, closed her eyes desperately, and even paused her breathing, suspending the function of her facial features was like pressing the pause button, and finally let her tormented heart enjoy the peace of this moment. It's just that the pain in her eyes, ears, mouth, and hair, as well as the lungs that are getting hotter and hotter due to lack of oxygen, like a cry for help from her body, make her suddenly open her mouth in shock. After several violent coughs, a fierce retching sensation ensued, as if as punishment, almost vomiting her internal organs.

"Little Fairy! What happened to you? Don't scare me! Gu Xinyuan looked at his friend who was crazy like a demon, and cried out his friend's name in a panic: "Gu Xiaoxian! ”

Gu Xiaoxian, whose face was full of tears, grabbed Gu Xinyuan's arm and cursed through gritted teeth: "It's the devil who shuttles through memory, the person who should be crushed and torn into slag is also that old man, it's not you, it shouldn't be you!" Grabbing her friend's hand relaxed slightly, she stared at the other party and begged like a whisper, "So don't die, okay?" All right? ”

Gu Xinyuan was a little overwhelmed by Gu Xiaoxian's overly violent reaction, and looking at the other party's worried expression, he had to swear: "Don't worry, I will never die like this!" ”

"That's good!" Gu Xiaoxian's intense emotions slowly calmed down because of Gu Xinyuan's words, and after being silent for a while, she looked up at the starry sky and said leisurely: "Xiaoyuan, do you know why I transferred to this school?" ”

Gu Xinyuan was a little puzzled when she saw that her friend suddenly changed the topic, but when she thought that the other party was in a bad mood, she followed her words and asked, "Why?" ”

Gu Xiaoxian glanced at his friend weakly, looked up at the sky, and said, "Because, one of my friends died..."

"Huh?!" Gu Xinyuan's eyes widened in disbelief, and he stammered, "What's this?"

"Because," Gu Xiaoxian exhaled deeply, biting her lower lip and being silent for a few seconds, "pregnant......"

"What?!" Gu Xinyuan was completely stunned, not knowing what kind of reaction to make was appropriate, so he had to stand there dryly.

"She's only thirteen, well, thirteen." Gu Xiaoxian's voice trembled and she exhaled a heavy breath, and pressed it on her chest for a while before she continued: "Her name is Gu Sisi, and because her parents are working in other places, she has followed her grandmother since she was a child. There is an old man in his 60s who runs a snack shop in the west of our village, and because he looks amiable and often distributes snacks to the children in the village, the children are willing to go to his house to play. Sisi's family is not very wealthy, and her mother gave birth to three younger sisters, so life is even more poor, let alone snacks, and even normal meat is not often eaten. Because of this, she prefers to be close to the old man. Who would have thought that she would be deceived and pregnant because of this. ”

"And then?"

"She was so young that she didn't know what pregnancy was, and her grandmother only thought she was fat, and never thought about pregnancy." Gu Xiaoxian wiped the seemingly endless tears with his hand, and then said, "By the time I found out, my belly was already very big. Because her parents didn't even go to the person to reason because they felt ashamed, they beat Sisi and took her to the hospital to induce the baby. Her grandmother died of self-blame and shame, and she couldn't afford to fall ill, and Sisi herself became chattering, and in the end, she hanged herself......"

After hearing this shocking thing, Gu Xiaoxian was stunned for a long time, she didn't know what to say, she only muttered in a low voice, "Why is the old man like this", and fell silent.

"Xinyuan, I know that incident made you very painful, but it wasn't you who was wrong, and you shouldn't be so resentful of yourself for it! As you said, this fault belongs to the old man, but you can't face your own double standards! How can the victim be dirty? ”

"I'm sorry! Xiaoxian, I shouldn't tell you anything about life and death! I didn't even know anyone else would encounter something like this! I'm sorry ......"

"Don't say you're sorry! Instead, I should thank you! Gu Xiaoxian looked at Gu Xinyuan's puzzled expression, pulled the corners of her mouth, and smiled miserably, "I didn't have a chance to chat with her before, so I don't know what she thinks, if you didn't tell me this today, I'm still blaming her, blaming her for leaving like that without telling me anything..."

"Little Fairy ......"

Gu Xiaoxian smiled at Gu Xinyuan, and said thoughtfully: "People who are impregnated by darkness have already been eroded by darkness, if they reject the darkness, it is equivalent to rejecting themselves, but accepting the darkness with a clear conscience, and can only watch the darkness devour themselves, this is simply an unsolvable problem!" Therefore, for them, there is no other choice but to die! Sisi must have experienced a painful struggle, but no matter how she thought about it, she couldn't figure it out, so she could only self-destruct! ”

Gu Xinyuan looked at Gu Xiaoxian with a painful face, but she couldn't say a word of comfort, so she could only walk to her side, hold those cold hands tightly, and raise her head to look at the quiet starry sky together.

Gu Xiaoxian clenched Gu Xinyuan's hand, exhaled with relief, and said with a serious expression: "We will also be good friends in the future!" Is it okay to be a good friend for life? ”

Gu Xinyuan nodded, and said as a matter of course: "Of course!" We'll always be good friends! ”

"You must be the talker," Gu Xiaoxian hugged Gu Xinyuan's arm hard, rested his head on her shoulder, was silent for a moment, and whispered: "Definitely don't die easily!" ”

Gu Xinyuan looked at the twinkling stars in the sky and said with a chuckle: "Okay! You can rest assured! ”

Back in the dormitory, Gu Xinyuan lay on the bed, thought hard for a long time and didn't understand what this painful thing meant to her, eating, studying and living as usual, everything didn't seem to have changed, but for a while, she woke up crying from nightmares, and then fell asleep tired in shame and fear, and even fell out of bed with hysteria when she came home from vacation once......

It is said that those who make mistakes should bear the mistakes, but children are always easy to carve pain into their minds and turn it into a way of thinking. The more difficult it is to recover from the pain experienced at a young age, the more far-reaching it is. The child is too weak, and without a pair of strong arms, he can only resist all the damage with his thin shoulders.

It has been said that in our culture, procreation is the goal, ignorance is purity, ignorance is virtue, prejudice is the principle, and sex itself becomes something that exists in the darkness, giving the opportunity to the evil who hides in the darkness and is always watching, exposing the innocent and ignorant children to danger. When a young child holds a wounded heart and shows it to others, how many people will have evil thoughts from that pain; But if you hide the wound, the wound will only slowly decay. For them, if there is no one to shelter, there is no solution! We are born because of sex, and we will have an inextricable connection with sex in the future, we cannot lose it and cannot deny it, and for those who are in the marrow of the marrow, only by destroying ourselves can we end this vicious and dark pain......