The next semester has begun, and a biology class is taking place in the classroom—

"Today, let's talk about the human physiology section in biology class, let's preview it first!" Zheng Qi, the biology teacher standing on the podium, rummaged through the books, supported his elbows on the lectern with his whole body relaxed, raised his head slightly to look at the students under the lectern and said: "Although it doesn't seem to be a chapter that needs to be explained in particular, but in fact, many students don't understand it at all. This is just scientific knowledge, everyone relax, there is no need to be so shy! Okay, let's open the books—"

Hearing the biology teacher's words, the originally quiet students began to make noise, and they all blushed and said something with righteous indignation.

"Huh? How do you want to learn! I've heard from other students that they let the students see it for themselves! ”

"I'm so shy! Can't you stop learning? ”

"Let's just see for ourselves, why do you want to talk about such a shameful thing in class?"

Some girls swayed their bodies slightly, bowed their heads with red faces, and pushed the books far away, as if the books were not drawn with a picture of the human body but a picture of the spring palace that could not be seen; Some of the boys seem to be generous and gently whistling, pretending not to care about standing up and laughing, but their eyes are fixed on the book from time to time, always expecting the teacher to start speaking soon; There are also some people who secretly stare at the teacher with disdain, whispering that the teacher is shameless, and flipping through the book with their hands, secretly glad that they finally have the opportunity to read this page openly.

Zheng Qi picked up the blackboard eraser and slapped it twice on the lectern, and said loudly: "Don't make noise, everyone, we'll start class right away, you guys take a look first!" ”

"Teacher, I don't think we need to teach this lesson!" Just as Zheng Qi was about to open the book, a boy who was used to it on weekdays shouted loudly.

"The teachers in other classes just let the students see for themselves!" Immediately afterwards, I don't know which bold girl complained coquettishly.

"So what?" Zheng Qi replied coldly. He looked at the righteous, self-righteous and ashamed expression on his immature face, and for a moment his mind was the scene of the students refusing to listen to this class in the past four years after graduating from college, although he knew that he should not be angry, but in the face of these ignorant, naïve and self-righteous students, an indescribable frustration still buried him in an instant. Facing the questioning voice of the student, he suppressed the anger that he was about to erupt, adjusted his breathing, and said patiently: "Teacher thinks, everyone should still listen to me, in fact, there is nothing to be ashamed of, it's just the human body structure, and everyone wants to know themselves, right?" Only when you know yourself well can you—"

"Oh, teacher, don't talk about it!" "Yes, yes! Don't talk about it! "What a shame!"

A few students who thought they were righteous men began another round of choking, and it seemed handsome for them to dare to confront the teacher head-on—at least they thought so.

"Whew-" Zheng Qi smoothed his chest, breathed a long sigh of relief helplessly, and continued to say patiently, "I'm just telling you about scientific knowledge, not doing something unseemly-"

"We can understand it ourselves!" "That's right, that's right!" "See for yourself! Let's see for ourselves! ”

The voices of "resistance" are still one after another, which is upsetting.

"You-" Zheng Qi slapped the lectern and shouted loudly with his head down. I saw that his nose was panting heavily, the green tendons at his temples were bulging hideously, and his fair face was also flushed. After being silent for a while, he let out two "hehe" laughs in his throat, raised his head slowly, tilted his head like a doll with a lost thread, looked down at the students under the podium with an expressionless face, and said coldly in a tone full of indifference as calm as a sharp reflective sword: "What do you know, do you know what a fertilized egg is?" Some students, I don't know if you deliberately disagree with me or if you are blind, but I tell you, if you love to learn or not, if you don't learn, you can get out of here! Today, either sit quietly below and give me a lecture, or immediately crawl out for me, start the timer now, and if you want to go out, climb quickly! Class leader, record which student doesn't want to listen to the class, it doesn't matter if you don't listen, I don't care at all, and I don't force it! ”

The classmates in the class saw that Teacher Zheng Qi, who has always been popular for his "good temper", lost his temper, and suddenly quieted down, and no one dared to talk nonsense anymore.

"Uh-huh! That," after losing his temper, Zheng Qi suddenly realized that he seemed to be out of shape, and immediately blushed with shame - fortunately, his face was already red because of anger, so no student saw his embarrassment - he cleared his throat a little embarrassed, he silently opened the book and began to talk to the students: "Since everyone is no longer talking, then I will start lecturing!."

Gu Xinyuan silently lay on the desk, patting his chest nervously, even if he saw it with his own eyes, it was still a little hard to believe that Teacher Zheng Qi would lose his temper, and it was so terrifying. She patted her chest lightly, sighed quietly, looked at the textbook seriously, and threw herself into the class.

"After talking about menstrual periods, let's move on to the following..."

Gu Xinyuan listened carefully to the teacher's lecture, and at the moment when she fully understood the content of the book, countless images suddenly appeared in her mind as if falling from the sky: the broken wooden door, the single bed with the quilt, the mottled wall that separates the inner and outer rooms, the Sven man wearing glasses, the disgusting swollen eye bubbles, the twisted and evil smiling face, the heavy quilt that makes people breathless, the hands rubbing back and forth..., and even the voice seems to be played out of the tape recorder: "Be careful, what do you think this is?" "Is your aunt out?" "Can't you tell anyone! "Because I just want to give you candy!" ...... "I'll make you cheap!" You say you're not dirty! Can a girl's hand be touched casually by others? "I'll tell you! As a girl, you have to love yourself... How can you marry someone in the future! "Why don't you know how to protect yourself?"

"Don't tell anyone about it, do you hear me?" "This thing is your mistake, and if you are wrong, you have to correct it... Even your mom and dad grandparents can't say... Just forget about it! ”……

Aunt Gu Xiaojuan's scolding voice, Zhu Ba's seductive voice, all kinds of voices clearly echoed in his mind, and the false and real feelings kept alternating, making Gu Xinyuan have the illusion of being in a dream.

What's going on? What is this? Really? It's disgusting!

Gu Xinyuan put his hands on the position of his temples and confirmed it over and over again. She wiped her hands vigorously with a tissue, as if something was stuck to them that was hard to wipe off. Thinking back to her stupid behavior when she was a child, she couldn't help but curse herself in her heart: why be at the mercy of others like a fool, why let that person touch her hand in such a disgusting way just because of a candy? She pinched the flesh of her wrist until the blood was pinched on her wrist, and there was a bulge on her skin, this real pain seemed to give her painful heart a chance to breathe, picked up the knife used to sharpen the pencil, she gestured lightly in her hand, eager to peel off this layer of dirty skin on her body like this, but the smiling face of grandma and grandfather that instantly appeared in her mind made her hand hang down weakly.

What a coward!

She pulled out a feeble smile self-deprecatingly, and laughed at herself with disdain in her heart: why is it so disgusting, cheap, shameless, why can't you refuse that disgusting man?

I should have killed that disgusting man!

She hugged her head, felt the itchy and numb wound in her heart, and thought viciously: Why didn't you stab him? If he is a hateful man, then am I not as dirty as he is if I have not rejected him? How can I have the face to live so freely?

Gu Xinyuan wanted to cry but couldn't, so she had to swallow hard and hard, and at the moment of swallowing, she suddenly felt some pain in her throat. Silently bowing her head, she looked at the ground in pain, constantly blaming herself: why remember, why? Is there any other use than to make me miserable in the future? It's better to forget about such a disgusting thing!

She raised her head weakly, looked at the textbook with a pale face, and only felt that the heavy past was like a big stone pressing on her chest, making people breathless. She bit her lower lip hard, frowned in disbelief, and shook her head twice to make sure she remembered wrong, but the images that replayed in her mind over and over again told her that it was all true. She shook her right hand gently, feeling the inexplicable numbness from her fingertips, and endured the piercing sound like tinnitus ringing in her ears, she suddenly felt that the classroom she was in, the classmates and teachers in the classroom were no longer real like fake things, and a wave of nausea churned up from her stomach, she covered her mouth and retched a few times, touched the back of her left hand, looked around nervously, and found that her friend Gu Xiaoxian, who was sitting in the row in front of her, was looking at her with concern, her heart tightened, I bowed my head helplessly, afraid that the secret of my heart would be discovered like this...

This is something that will never see the light of day!

Gu Xinyuan knows. She squeezed her eyes tightly, felt the "buzzing" sound from the depths of her ears to the top of her head, tightened her stomach with her arms, and prayed in fear in her heart - don't let anyone else know! If she could, she would like to go back to the house now, lie down in the warm bed, hold her grandmother's arm, and let her grandmother's thick and warm hands comfort herself... However, this is not possible, so what should be done? It's disgusting! I'm dying of discomfort, who's going to save me... If someone finds out this secret, it's over...