"Yes, I'm just going to give myself an excuse to always be very decent, but is there any reason for that? A mother abandons herself, her son is hateful and disposed of no matter what, in fact, I don't want to have a son at all, I tell you, I didn't know what kind of consequences I should bear back then, I didn't know what I should bear at all, what a mother should do, I was forced, I was unfamiliar These are all I making excuses, I tell you, if I really refused back then, no one could ask me to give birth to this child, just because I wanted to have a child, I was going to go secretly, I could also go and make this child not give birth, but I didn't, I didn't have it at all, and I was actually forcing myself to say that it was forced to be told by others, and I didn't have an appetite at all, and I told you that I was willing to do it back then! ”

She looked at Gu Ruxi, and she looked like she was in tears all the time, unkempt and unkempt, and she was so desperate and painful

"Let me tell you again, when I was with Lehi, how old I was, I was less than 18 years old, and when I came out of school, when I watched him together, the two of us went through a lot of ups and downs together, he helped me to work, and the money he earned was given to me a box lunch, he didn't eat at all, he couldn't even eat, he had a job and he had a lot of places to do, in fact, he didn't know that I was at home every day, I couldn't eat or wear, I couldn't drink, I didn't dare to complain at all, I'm scared I'm worried and I'm going to put pressure on him. Because I felt that my presence had caused him a huge living expense, and I was scared at the time, I used to eat a boxed lunch all day, you know? I didn't even dare to get sick at that time, because we didn't have any money! ”

"I am a good student in school, I am from elementary school to high school, I am the pride of the teachers in the family, I am also the focus of the school to cultivate, to go to the key university, role model, I am a student who is far envy of everyone, I think my future must be towards a glorious future, but I believed in a love at the time, I went astray, I think love is everything, I think love is the biggest goal in my life, so at that time I was as intuitive as ever to drop out of school, If there was any opposition from the family or the school, I would have disappeared completely, I would have disappeared without a trace, in fact, I was pregnant at the time! ”

"So I never dared to tell me, I really dropped out of school on my own initiative, I took the initiative to cut off the relationship with the people in my family!"

"It was something I'll never forget, and it's something I'll never forget. I told my dad that I don't want to go to school anymore, I think I have to go outside, I think the world is big, I don't want to, because it's bothering me, you know? When my father really heard me say this, it was really a blank night, and then my father directly locked me up, didn't let me go out, and even cut off my financial resources, and told me to leave Lehi at home, but I really didn't know what I thought at that time, I completely climbed out of this village, I climbed down that building, do you know where my family lives? We live on the 7th floor, the whole 7th floor, and I climbed down the sewer step by step."

"I was wondering if I had slipped and fallen that day, and I would have fallen from the 7th floor, and I would have died at this height, but you know what? I didn't die, I was very persistent in looking for Lehi, completely careless, and I don't know what I was for. ”

"I was running in the rain, and my father was chasing behind me with a flashlight, I kept shouting loudly for me to go back, I didn't know why, I was falling all the way, but I was still running in potholes, and my father was already 60 years old, and he had a heart attack in the back, and I was actually running, I didn't care at all, my father had actually fallen on the side of the road."

"But later, after a few years of me, I will understand my father, because I had a stroke that day, so I have maintained that I have some problems with my left foot, and so far I can't even walk well, all this is my problem, fortunately, God hasn't let me do a hurtful thing, because my father was saved by someone else, if there is any discomfort between the husband and wife that day, how can I accept this fact, how can I face my conscience?"

"Otherwise, I would have gone straight to Lehi's house, and I would have disappeared from this house completely, and I would have disappeared for two years, and I would never forget my father's figure that fell in the rain for the rest of my life. I don't know how many nights I lagged, I couldn't wake up from that nightmare, I kept thinking about my father's gray hair and emaciated figure in my dreams, I was really human and I felt that I was really not human, I was just a bad woman! ”

"The reincarnation of the sky, it's really not that I don't report it, it's just that the time has not come, and finally my complaint is coming, although I have a very beautiful love, although I am about to marry a very good wealthy family, but no matter what, there will always be a gap between me and my current fiancé, this time we didn't say, I did not break through, but these things will still exist, none of our environment, because of this thing and any of them have changed, I am worried about the changes with the years, Will such a thing stand the test of time! ”

Lisa had been chattering intermittently, telling some of her past, and kept grabbing her hair with her hands, as if she wanted to torture herself in this way.

"Later, I also knew that my father was sick again, and someone else told me, saying that after I left, my father had been locked in the house and never came out, and he didn't come out every day, for a whole year, and he didn't go out to make up for it, that is, he told others that his daughter would definitely come back, what if he went out by himself? What if the daughter can't come back and no one opens the door for her? ”

"Yes, I felt at that time how unfilial I was, what a hated daughter I was, I actually left my mother and father at home, I was chasing something, my so-called romantic love, the cost is really too high, if I go back to my original life, I will tell myself, I should study hard, I should study hard, I should not live up to my mother and father's expectations of me, I should do what a normal peer should do like a normal child, That's all that matters. ”

"But I always feel that everything is too late, everything is too late, these things have caused an unforgivable fatal wound for me, my life has been gray, I am now a mess of my life, to think that I now have a high salary, to think that I have a wealthy fiancé family, but I am really inferior, such an inferiority complex makes me a lifetime, I am sorry for my parents, I am sorry for my fiancé, I am sorry for my son, I was a real failure! ”

Lisa took another sip of water, and cried loudly, without any scruples, not caring that someone next to her was looking at this crazy woman very strangely.

She said: "Really, these so-called love things are really not the kind of things that make people live for a lifetime, that kind of novels, those so-called literati and ink writers say, those things that love for a lifetime are fake, what a lifetime and a couple These are all nonsense, I tell you no, what really is not that once these loves pass, they are like a chemical, and they disappear without a trace with a bang, and they become a so-called family affection, family affection is sometimes fake, and it becomes a separation. Two people have to be together, bound together for one of their own purposes, for their own interests, or for the sake of the family or for the parents, or for the children to be together, or for the sake of not having a better choice. ”

"Later, I suddenly realized that I was really afraid of you, I hurt my family, I hurt everyone, this is a choice I have to make, I can't stop being worthy of my parents, I can't be worthy of my son, but I can't live with Lehi, no matter which aspect I choose, I will be the woman who is nailed to the frame of shame."

"So no matter which side I choose now, I don't choose to cry now, I can't cry in front of anything, I have to show my strength, show bravery, I use this shell to disguise myself, otherwise I will be pointed out by others, yes, this is my life path, now even if I am kneeling on the ground, I have to kneel step by step to finish here, I want to be worthy of God, I want to be worthy of my parents, I am sorry for my son!"

Lisa looked up and laughed after drinking a bottle of beer, feeling that her life had fallen into a kind of sadness because of the madness of this life.

Gu Ruxi just sat there and listened quietly, without saying a word or expressing any suggestions, just listening silently, and she also fell into a deep thought.

The music in the bar has been playing rhythmically, Gu Ruxi closed her eyes, and looked at the whiskey, she felt that the color was really beautiful, and it completely made people feel that this kind of life, maybe once in a while, why not indulge yourself? Sometimes life from the beginning to the end of life can not be smooth sailing, will be in it, bumps and bumps will encounter such and such problems, may come to a kind of whirlpool trap, and can not have any possible choice at this time.

Lisa looked at Gu Ruxi and said, "I know that Lawyer Gu, you should probably be in a bad mood because of my case during this time, so I'm sorry that I have caused you a lot of trouble at this time." ”

Gu Ruxi asked, "Why do you know I'm in a bad mood?" ”

"When a woman works very hard to do things, and does a lot of things day and night, and there is no time without regrets, I believe that at this time, women must want to forget some of the difficulties and some very unpleasant feelings through the reasons of work."

Gu Ruxi smiled and didn't speak, because she had already guessed her own thoughts, and sure enough, everyone's life was a cup of bitter wine.

Lisa said with a smile: "Sometimes Lawyer Gu I think you are very tired sometimes, you are too reserved, you wrap yourself too dignified, and your barriers are also very big, why not like me, take advantage of this time to drink, let yourself drink occasionally, maybe you can't solve any problems, at least don't force yourself into a depression." ”

Gu Ruxi looked at Lisasha, and faced her with a slightly deep look, and there were tears in her eyes, but she had already said that she had cried, and it might feel better, and she would never cry, and she would not have anything to do, she had to cry by herself, she had always been very strong, and since her mother died, she had begun to wrap herself for many years.

Gu Ruxi thought for a moment.

She smiled and said: "Actually, nothing particularly happened, I just think that this time may have to deal with more things, and I am just going through a difficult period, my love story has ended, this time needs a 10 days for me, so I believe that after 10 days, it will soon disappear, this is a pain period for people who conform to a scientific law, there is a time definition." ”

Lisa looked at her, "I don't quite understand what you're trying to say." ”

Gu Ruxi said: "If there is really such a man, no matter how you like the other party, no matter how you always give, no matter what you get in the process, what you get, but the other party will never easily say that he loves you, and there will never be such an opportunity, what will you do at that time?" Will you give up? Because when a man can't say he loves you, do you think you will stick to this situation differently? ”

Lisa didn't know what to do when she looked at it, but she seemed to be listening, she seemed to be confused, and she seemed to be waiting.

Gu Ruxi said: "Actually, I once talked to you about a little thing, because I and my worthy fall in love with a man, and this person is a very good, and worthy of everyone's love, this person's name is Qiao Yilong, he has been with my little sister many years ago, I just stuck in the legs, and then, let such a story make a change, when this 5 years later, everything thought that it might change, but I didn't expect that when you thought you could get something, When you think you can do everything, it's all illusory, it's all like a bubble. ”

Gu Ruxi described her story very calmly, and those who were ignorant and rested and painful in the past have actually passed a long, long time, but the first time she calmly expounded it in this way is really the first time.

I probably think that I and Lisa may have some similarities in life, and I may think that in the eyes of others, I think that I am a label of a bad woman and a selfish woman, and think that all these things are my own purpose, so only as a person concerned, will you know how bitter you are in your heart, how uncomfortable you are, and have to compromise a lot of things you are not willing to do.

Gu Ruxi may have talked about the process of this matter, and then continued to talk to this Lisasa.

"I said that if this is a Disney fairy tale, then Qiao Yilong is the prince, and Gu Rumeng is the Cinderella, and I, I am the very annoying sister, and this story, I took away other people's crystal slippers because of this, and finally found that this pair of crystal slippers is not suitable for my feet at all, I tried hard to wear them, I tried hard to avoid this crystal slipper, but it can never be changed, this pair of crystal slippers is only suitable for Gu Rumeng."

"You know what? I'm the same as you, I'm even worse than you, I made a lot of damage in it, how jealous I was of the relationship between them, I did some small things, I used some means to make Qiao Yilong notice me, I even asked Qiao Yilong to target me, I really didn't mean it, I really did that thing with a purpose, you know? What I used to do back then, if I didn't participate in the palace fight, I would really be a waste of talent. ”

Gu Ruxi took a sip of wine at both ends after saying this, as if such an unsettling emotion should have been said to his relatives many years ago, and the things that had been suppressed for 5 years finally said it without hesitation in front of one of his own customers, I don't know if it was because it was really suppressed for too long, or because his heart was too sad, it felt so good to say it.

After hearing these words, Lisa also shed tears of sympathy, and the two of them were silent for a moment after a drink.

Lisa said: "Actually, I tell you, I don't feel very excused, in fact, I was also in a crisis, I really wanted to make excuses, of course I really didn't understand, maybe because I was too naïve, too confused, too trusting this man, I would do this kind of thing, but you are constantly using this ridiculous way to admit a viciousness of yourself, I really think you admire you very much, I really hope that your open-mindedness can affect me." ”

Gu Ruxi's smile is indeed, if such open-mindedness is really a compliment, then he is really He De, how can he be so stubborn to persist and stick to this feeling, but it deeply hurt her little sister and let her go away for a full 5 years.

How many people have a youth of 5 years, and they are more or less dusty in it.