"With this disease, no matter how happy you smile on your face, you don't actually smile at all in your heart......"

The girl's tears burned her face, and her uncontrollable sobs made her body tremble slightly. "What can make me collapse is often the small troubles and disputes in daily life that are not worth mentioning, and they suddenly come up like this, bringing out countless past grievances and anger."

It's really hard to imagine that a simple and well-behaved girl who loves to laugh like her would be tormented by depression and show such a painful side. Du Shengzhe's heart is tight, but perhaps, she has been disguising herself with happiness and beauty, and when she is alone, she is willing to remove that layer of disguise and reveal her true and fragile side.

He patted Xiaoqi lightly on the shoulder, the hand that stopped on the shoulder tightened, and then pulled her to a pavilion-like place, where the public seats were not wet from the rain, and the two sat down.

After this, Xiaoqi bowed her head and was silent, Du Shengzhe wanted to say something to comfort her when he saw her so depressed, but he didn't know where to start comforting people like depressed patients, and how to comfort them correctly.

Remembering that as early as when he was a student, he read an article called "A Depressed Patient's Self-Statement" in Story Magazine, the author was anonymous, at first Du Shengzhe thought that the content must be negative and pessimistic, but when he read the whole article, he was deeply touched. What he felt from it was not the author's pessimism and misanthropy, but caused him to take the initiative to think deeply about human nature and life.

He remembered a sentence in the article - "Comforting a depressed patient and trying to enlighten me with ordinary people's 'chicken soup for the soul' is undoubtedly 'poisoning' for me, and the effect is often counterproductive." This made Du Shengzhe realize that in the world of depressed patients, many of their ideas and concepts of looking at things are often contrary to ordinary people, so the best comfort to give patients is "not to make any comfort to his state".

Shouldn't such groups be comforted? Not really.

A point in the article alerted Du Shengzhe - "It may be much more inspiring to give an example of another patient with depression to touch us than to comfort us with words, and it is better to add that patient's 'personal reflection'." ”……

Recalling all the things in that article, Du Shengzhe suddenly opened his mouth, and he whispered to the girl: "Xiaoqi, I can't empathize with you because I haven't experienced the same thing as you, but ......"

Tong Xiaoqi looked at him slowly, as if waiting for the next sentence.

"I understand your pain and feel sorry."

She was stunned, whispered "thank you", and continued to lower her head, shedding tears, I don't know if she was moved because of grief.

Du Shengzhe paused and told her something: "I once had a friend who, like you, was depressed and chose to commit suicide by taking poison a week before the college entrance examination. ”

"Huh?!" Xiaoqi was startled, "Have you been rescued?" ”

"I was rescued, after that, my friend went through formal treatment, everyone around him understood him very well, cared for him, and at the same time, he also exercised with sports, and finally defeated the disease, and after graduating from college, he also went to become a soldier."

“…… He's amazing. The girl smiled bitterly, unusually bitterly, "It's just... That miracle could not have happened to me, and I didn't have the perseverance to overcome the disease..."

He didn't answer the girl's words, and then went on to tell the key to telling the story: "Later, we chatted on WeChat, and we talked about my friend's illness, and he said, 'When I was sick, I always thought that death was the real liberation, but otherwise, personal death would make the people around me suffer and worry about me, and the soul would not be able to go where it should be. ’”

Xiaoqi was at a loss: "Then what is real liberation?" This is also what Du Shengzhe once asked that friend.

He replied, quoting his friend, "'I guess it's just living.'" ’”

"To live is liberation?" Xiaoqi was surprised, in most people's cognition, this is the most unrelieved way.

"Yes, alive." Du Shengzhe repeated, and quickly turned around, "But it's not a hard life." ”

She nodded in understanding and asked, "Did that friend say... What is liberation to be alive? ”

Du Shengzhe shook his head slowly, and the girl didn't continue to ask. In any case, she always believed that she would not get that kind of relief in herself, but listening to what Ah Zhe said, she saw some hope, and her intuition told her that this "hope" was around her.

"Everyone around him understands him and cares for him."

Understand, this should be the most desired thing for every depressed person. But for Xiaoqi, whether it was before or after her illness, she seemed to get too little and too little of such things, but on the contrary, she received countless scoldings.

Every time she thought of this, she felt a pain in her heart, and tears blurred her vision again, and she scratched her face one by one. Du Shengzhe noticed it, didn't say a word, just reached over and gently wiped away the girl's tears with his thumb.

Xiaoqi slowly turned his face to look at him, he glanced at her, and smiled softly.

"Thank you......" she said.

"You don't need to thank me in the future."

"You were the first to wipe my tears..."

"Oh? Shouldn't you be the first yourself? ”

"......" Xiaoqi was humorously blocked by the other party, pursed her lips and smiled, and changed her words: "You are the first man to wipe my tears......"

Du Shengzhe grinned and felt distressed.

＊

By the time I got back, the rain had completely stopped. Du Shengzhe, who sent Tong Xiaoqi as usual, walked on the silent road with her, thinking of the distress that this girl told herself today about being ridiculed for being "fat", and asked her: "Are you taking antidepressant medicine for treatment?" ”

She looked at him and replied, "Yes." ”

Du Shengzhe pondered: "Do you think... My weight gain may be related to the hormones contained in the drug? He wants to make the girl look down on all this through this guidance.

"It must be so!" Xiao Qi was categorical, her voice was raised, and then she punched the air. "It's all caused by drugs, and I seem to be able to grow meat when I drink water! Damn it! ”

Yes...... This reaction startled him.

"I, I think... Since Xiaoqi is already taking medication, choosing to take diet pills to lose weight is the most undesirable, who knows what terrible counterweight effects diet drugs and antidepressants will have. Du Shengzhe changed the topic, "Actually, if you think about it quietly, your mother is against you taking diet pills for your own good, and the current diet pills, not to mention those sold online, are very unsafe." ”

Xiaoqi sighed: "I understand the truth, but I don't know why, I especially want to change myself for a person." ”

"Ah, for whom?" Du Shengzhe was puzzled.

She secretly felt that something was wrong and said that she had leaked her mouth.

"It is quite hateful to let a girl take diet pills to lose weight at the cost of her health."

Looking at the other party's indignant appearance, Xiao Qi suddenly couldn't cry or laugh.

"I was wrong." The girl pretended to correct, "I want to lose weight and change myself in order to wear beautiful clothes." ”

"Oh." Du Shengzhe crossed his arms in front of his chest, "Then don't take diet pills." ”

Xiao Qi sneered: "Well, I remember." ”

This time, the two of them still stopped around the corner. To be precise, Du Shengzhe stopped first, and Xiaoqi stopped again.

"Your mother...... When asked about your arm, you tell the truth, rest assured, I'm sure she won't blame you or anything. He is like a brother, and his words reveal his concern and love for Xiaoqi, "Go back, sleep well, and forget all the unpleasantness that happened today." ”