What is a tragedy? "Tragedy is the destruction of what is valuable in life for others to see." ——From Lu Xun, "On the Fall of Leifeng Pagoda Again"

I think that every person who suffers from depression, whether it is cured or not, has a tragedy for the sinful soul.

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After the two were silent and "confronted" for dozens of seconds, Du Shengzhe spoke first: "At least... Come with me to the hospital and get the wound treated. ”

She looked at him, hesitated, and agreed.

Du Shengzhe had just stepped down the stairs, Xiaoqi reached out and grabbed the man, he looked back at her, the girl's eyes were full of pleading: "Don't tell anyone......"

He smiled and said, "I won't." ”

……

When I arrived at the hospital, the doctor said that except for three deep wounds that required stitches, the other wounds should be simply eliminated. The girl didn't speak, and calmly underwent the suture surgery, and Du Shengzhe was by her side.

Before the operation, the doctor frowned and asked her while disinfecting the wound, "How did you get this?" ”

Xiaoqi looked at Du Shengzhe on the side, lowered his head and replied, "I cut it myself." ”

"Don't you feel pain?" The doctor asked again.

"It hurts, but I'm used to it, and I'm not scared." Her tone was calm.

"It's been like this before?"

"Well, that's often the case."

"For what reason?"

"Vent yourself." Xiao Qi looked at the doctor pleadingly, "When the blood comes out, the mental pain can be effectively relieved.

This is the answer she thinks can most implicitly express her pain, it is to confide, but also to ask for help.

The doctor looked at the girl, nodded, and said, "I have been exposed to some psychology, and through your answer just now, your behavior belongs to a more serious 'self-harm tendency', and you should receive formal psychological treatment, I understand this practice, but I will not be sure." ”

Xiao Qi just wanted to say something, but saw Du Shengzhe pull a stool and sit down closer to the doctor: "Excuse me, do you know... What are the mental illnesses that involve self-harm? ”

"The most common are depression and bipolar disorder." After the doctor finished speaking, he got up and went to get the anesthetic needle.

Du Shengzhe knew that the operation was about to start, so he asked her in a low voice, "Are you afraid?" Do you want me to stay with you? ”

Xiaoqi smiled and shook her head: "Don't be afraid, I'm not a child anymore." ”……

After the operation, the doctor instructed Tong Xiaoqi to take precautions and asked her to come over to change the dressing at this time the day after tomorrow.

On the way back, Xiao Qi looked at his bandaged left arm, then at him, and suddenly felt guilty. Du Shengzhe also seemed to be aware of the other party's heart, sneered, and deliberately asked, "What are you nervous about?" ”

The girl's answer surprised him: "Thank you really this time, I'll pay you back the operation fee later......"

He was stunned and said, "No." ”

"Huh?"

"You don't have to pay it back." Du Shengzhe repeated, and then gently stroked her ponytail, "We must remember that even when we are extremely sad, don't hurt ourselves." ”

Xiao Qi lowered her head, with tears in her eyes, and said nothing.

"Is it going to be hard for you to do?"

She glanced at the man, lowered her head again, and nodded slightly.

In the face of the negative energy or stimuli brought by the outside world at the time of the onset of the disease, it is not that they have not tried to vent reasonably, but that those "reasonable venting methods for ordinary people" cannot help them to remove; Most people with depression are kind-hearted, and anger and pain make them reluctant to hurt others, and often point the finger of harm at themselves, which is a kind of "desperate" helplessness.

What ordinary people don't understand is where they suffer. Or perhaps, there is nothing wrong with everyone, but we often live in different worlds.

The heavy rain gradually began to light up, and the things around were washed away from the old dust and became clear.

"Ah Zhe, we ......" Tong Xiaoqi was a little hesitant to say what he was going to say later.

"Huh?" Du Shengzhe looked down at the girl with a smile, "If you have something, just say it, don't be too restrained with me." ”

His words made her feel much more relieved, and she asked, "Can we still go to the park we went to last time?" ”

"Hah, of course." Du Shengzhe thought it was a big deal.

"I think the scenery and the air are very good, and it makes you feel very relaxed." In fact, Xiaoqi just wanted to confide in him again.

……

Du Shengzhe thought that the girl was still uncomfortable in her heart, and wanted to let herself accompany her to this park for a walk to relieve her mood. It's also a long time since he's been so distracted.

The two unconsciously came to the riverside area, Xiaoqi looked around, maybe because of the heavy rain, there were almost no people here to play. She held her breath, pulled Du Shengzhe's wrist and walked towards the guardrail near the river, he was caught off guard, and almost missed the big black umbrella with some weight.

What is this girl going to do?

Walking to the guardrail, Xiaoqi let go of her hand and lay on the guardrail with her arms crossed, ignoring the rain above. The girl's heart was beating so fast that her ears were burning like they were on fire. Du Shengzhe felt that she had something to say next, so he chose to stand by her side silently.

"Thank you for being with me." She turned to face him, her eyes downcast, her gaze evasive.

He smiled: "Why are you so polite, always thank me for thanking me, aren't you with me?" ”

Xiaoqi pursed her lips and smiled, "I'm really sorry......"

"Why are you apologizing again...?"

"I'm always giving you trouble." She looked at the man with clean eyes, "I want to tell you what happened behind this wound, do you remember in the corridor where you asked me the cause of this wound?" ”

"Well, in fact, Xiaoqi, when I talked to you on the WeChat phone, I noticed that something was wrong with your state, and I felt that something unpleasant must have happened beside you." Du Shengzhe thought, probably this is a person's intuition.

"Yes, the thing that caused me to self-harm was that I bought a weight loss product on the Internet, to be precise, a diet pill, and my mother found out, and she tried her best to oppose it, and we finally had a big fight, and we ......"

"I see." Du Shengzhe patted the girl's shoulder, "You choose to take diet pills to lose weight?" ”

Xiaoqi smiled sadly: "Yes......"

"But." He took a step back and leaned down slightly to meet her eyes, "You've never been fat." ”

"Then why, everyone is laughing at me... Including my loved ones. The girl looked into his eyes sadly, desperately trying to find an answer from there.

But perhaps, it never makes sense to look for answers in the bad words of the derailers.

Ridicule is a humiliating injury inflicted on others. Du Shengzhe didn't know what the girl had endured, and after a few seconds of dumbness, he told her: "For the ridicule we suffered, we just need to trample it under our feet." ”

He hoped that this sentence would make the girl proud of the ridicule and help her survive this psychological darkness.

Xiaoqi was silent for a while, and said, "The doctor is right, the common mental illnesses that contain self-harm tendencies are depression and bipolar disorder, and I am the former. ”

Du Shengzhe couldn't believe what he heard: "Do you have depression? He wanted to make sure that he wished the girl was just lying to herself.

"Hmm." Xiaoqi's eyes turned into the distance, with a faint loneliness and sadness on her face, "I have been sick for two years, until the third recurrence of the disease, when I was about to choose suicide, I was discovered by my family and sent to the hospital, and I was only treated with cold medicine." ”