Dan Ariely's book "Grotesque Behavior 1: Predictable Irrationality" was highly recommended to me by my brother from the annual meeting, and after reading it, I felt that my brother's interest in psychology and philosophy seemed to reflect a tendency that a social person would have after two or three years of mixing: wanting to understand the laws of human behavior, wanting to understand the weaknesses or characteristics of human nature, wanting to understand himself, and trying to sort out a set of so-called laws of treating others according to himself and his past contacts with different people. - Of course, this does not mean that this is a desire to take advantage of people, it may be just to protect oneself, or just to make oneself less passive in interpersonal interactions, so as to become the one who dominates social relationships, or at least is dominated by darkness.

Actually, I used to think so, because I seem to be a bit of a people-pleasing personality, that is, I will be wary of others, I will smile at the person who greets me when I am sad, I will be afraid that people will not play with me, and I used to do activities because of this, I became a super enthusiastic but always busy late at night and patiently chatting with each contestant or guest, uh, maybe it would be more appropriate to call customer service - that time made me look very good, both online and offline, and countless friends,But this time is less than half a year.,The former boss also set up a department for me.,I chose to quit.,Of course, before I quit, I still brought a group of children who could take over me - and most of these children's candidates are from the people I have been patient and kind to.。

But then I went from being a little lively to being completely superficial, I hated online chat, I hated socializing, I even hated social software and mobile phones, and I wanted to vomit when I saw it. Of course, some friends took the initiative to ask for help, and I still didn't refuse, but the chat gradually ignored, and then I also used the postgraduate entrance examination as an excuse to withdraw from the circle, closed social software, and no longer paid attention to anyone except for those who needed to be contacted.

But even so, I am actually very afraid of getting along with people, I don't know how to deal with it, and I don't know how to deal with all kinds of things in their eyes. I've always wanted to have a way that I trust and can do without thinking, and that I can deal with different people, things, and situations. I've always wanted to form such a model, as if as long as I find this model, I will never be afraid to get along with people again, and I will not be a person who is enthusiastic on the surface and rejects others on the inside when some people are courting or approaching. Because as soon as people get close to me, they can find the indifference and stupidity under the skin of my enthusiasm and sunshine.

But sometimes I enjoy it again because I don't have many friends and I'm really free. With a few more friends, I can't allocate my time. "Loneliness is a person's blessing", I think there is this kind of blessing that Mr. Liang Shiqiu said.

Okay, let's go afar.,Next are some of the more important pieces of information I got from the book "Grotesque Behavior 1", in fact, I feel that this book is not as good as what my brother said. I didn't feel a deep soul tremor or a shock to my worldview.

1. "Suppose you close a lot of doors and there are only two left. You think that this way you will have an easy choice, but this is often not the case. In fact, it's the hardest to choose between two options that have roughly the same appeal. In this case, the problem is not only the length of time to keep the choice, but also the fact that in the end we have to pay the price for our indecision. ”

- Actually, I have a little objection to this sentence, I think it is not easy to choose more choices, and it is not easy to choose less choices, among which it is difficult to say which choice is more difficult to choose more or two, because, I think the author thinks so, it may be that focusing on multiple options to two is the first level, and the final one from the two is the second level, because the inertia of passing through the first level is blocked by the second level, or the second level is closer to the result of our choice.

And I think it's hard to make all the trade-offs in the world.

He said his, I said mine, no one has scientific data with high validity and reliability enough to prove it, so our opinions are all valid, and you can choose what you believe, hehe.

2. "We are so tired of something that isn't necessarily important that we forget to work on what really matters." It's a fool's game, but we love it. ”

- Establish your goals as early as possible, if you don't have goals, it's actually okay to be tired of different things, I don't think I have really seen a lot, tasted a lot, and some reliable goals for some people will not appear, such as me. Don't ask why, asking is to be hammered by life and don't want to talk.

3. "In this case, stick to a simple value principle: be clear about what you can offer and what you expect in return." Since you don't establish social norms, or even have no expectations for it, you can't offend it – in the end, it's just business. ”

- Sometimes I also think that the essence of a relationship is a transaction, and the attitude of both parties will determine whether the transaction will continue, and when the transaction has been going on for a long time, standing tall in many storms, and we have a grasp of the other party's character, there will be a later, trust-based transaction relationship that allows non-equivalent transactions.

Perhaps the so-called trust is the "risk investment" given by a person in a certain number of common experiences with another person, because one party has always maintained some good qualities, so that the other party has enough thick data on his character to predict the future direction that he is sure of.

The author of this book began with burns all over his body, and every time he tore off the medical gel coat that protected the growth of new skin, it was a painful experience, and this is how he began his observations.

This makes me admire and make me think a lot, maybe one day, what situation I have, then I must not give up, as long as I find a path that suits me, as long as I can feel and move, I will eventually develop in my passionate career. In general, no matter what happens, maybe we can be very useful people, I think.