When I excerpted the lyrics of Xu Fei's "To You", it was March 8, 2020, and when I wrote this text, it was October 27, 2020.

3.8, let's just look at the lyrics of the song "Respect You":

"Leaving home at about the same age

A few miles away from home can be called the end of the world

Learn from others' clever words and find various examples in books

Always ready for all kinds of tragedy //

I met him at about the same age

A few days after meeting him, I thought I was going to get married

I can't understand people, go to tea and cool, and find various prescriptions in songs

Deep memories of colorful old accounts //

I salute you for being so serious with your scars

The mountains and rivers are all the way and they are still desperate

I salute you, my heartbreak is broken, and I have a deep kiss

The dark clouds are rolling and he is still taking office

I salute you for being so sincere with tears streaming down your eyes

Life and death are boundless, but they are still measured

I respect you, people go to the empty building, and there are knives and shields

The fallen leaves are still on their own."

On October 27th, I can still think of the excitement when I saw this song on Mr. Du Junfei's official account, when I was scarred but still serious, someone would say to me, I respect you. When I see the leaves falling and no one comes forward, and I am still alone in battle, someone will say to me, I respect you. When I was annoyed by interpersonal relationships, deceived, maliciously speculated, and smeared by rumors, and even any bit of information I wrote could become the basis for others to attack me, because I didn't have time to record like an article and write a small circle of friends essay full of warmth and curiosity was sued by my parents, mocking my parents that I had mental problems, and at this level I still talked about writing - I still dare to record what I think is good in my own garden and share it with my friends, even if some of them will look at me with malice, Then someone said to me, "I respect you."

It made me feel that everything I did was worth it, because I was praised, because she said it respected me.

It also made me see the proud demeanor of many dignified ancients, and also told me that it is good to be like them, and I should learn from them.

On October 27th, what made me want to record was a short passage from "Caigen Tan" and two performances by Deng Ziqi.

"For the sake of goodness and want to exalt others, to be gracious and want to be famous, to cultivate and want to shock the world, to plant knots and want to mark dissenting opinions, this is the Mao Ge of good thoughts, thorns on the road, the easiest to entrain, the most difficult to pull out. It is necessary to cleanse the dregs and cut off the sprouts before seeing the original body. ”

- This sentence in "Caigen Tan", the translation given in the book is: Doing good deeds and wanting to elevate yourself above others, giving favors to others and wanting to gain a good reputation and befriending others, cultivating meritorious deeds and wanting to shock the world, and cultivating discipline and wanting to behave weirdly and show strangeness, these are all obstacles to the vicious aura and truth in good thoughts, which are the easiest to mix and entrain, and the most difficult to remove. It is necessary to remove the residue and cut off the sprouts, so that the true face of the human heart can be revealed.

And this sentence of "Caigen Tan" made me instantly feel that if I have done something good, have any persistence, and have done something well, I will do it, and I should not ask for even one or two people's approval and praise. By doing something good, the sprout of wanting to elevate yourself needs to be cut off.

And today, I watched G.M.E Deng Ziqi's song "Red Rose and White Rose", or her performance, including her singing voice and her body moving with the rhythm of the music, all told me that she enjoys this stage very much, and she belongs to music.

The lyrics of another rap by Deng Ziqi:

"Take off those halos above your head

The victory in the coming days will be even more spectacular

Even if the night is dark, I am tired

The blow to me is minimal, tired and not discouraged

Worthy of the reputation and status, I accumulate every step of the way //

A truly powerful idol since ancient times

Leading the new generation without hesitation······"

It made me see that a girl can be so dazzling on the stage, or in the things she likes, or so crazy, and her hard work gives her crazy confidence and capital, and her rap is also very good. I was also shocked that she took off the halo on her head and went from the already acclaimed field of pop singing to conquer the emerging rap field, and did so well.

I also have to have things that belong to me, one is to write a text like this, this is something I have insisted on loving all my life, it is an elective course in life, and the other is the graduate school I will take next year, which is the things and stages I need in my life, and I need a set of theories or models for me to stand in society and analyze everything from this perspective, so as a professional and make a living from it.

So, I started to think that every paragraph of my text should be full of love for words - should I delete the words that I didn't use emotion to change before? I immediately thought about it again. My final decision is not to delete it. Because I don't intend to leave one lecture after another here, what I want to keep is a record. It's that I'll swing, I'll be lazy, I'll have bad thoughts or do something bad, it's that I'll look forward to it, I'll find a way to draw strength from bowl after bowl of chicken soup to spur myself, I'll run — that's the whole record. Of course, in order not to let everyone see the daily flow of accounts, I have made trade-offs about the importance of things.

Well, I'm going to use the editing interface in the backstage of the starting point as my own stage - well, sometimes it's just a stage, and usually, it's just a practice room.

After the long story next door is finished, I would like to write a new novel that the trainees will practice their final debut, because I really want to read such a novel, and I hope that I can see one or two inspirational words every once in a while that will motivate me to take another step towards my goal. I want it to have the darkness I've experienced, the laziness I can't resist, my ambition, and the expectation of a better self.

Good night, since you've done it, you have to do it well. Because since you have chosen love, you have to explode on your own stage!

[2020's 3.8 and 10.27 co-production]