Zhen Zhen nodded at Feng Qi, he came in and put the plate on the table, then retreated and closed the door with his hand.

The room was so quiet that you could breathe in.

Zhen Zhen poured tea into two delicate blue and white porcelain teacups, put a cup in front of Feng Hanzhao, and took a cup of sip himself. Then she began to say to herself: "On the day of the Dragon Boat Festival, when I returned home, I felt so annoyed, my mind was full of all kinds of tragic situations and the pale faces of the drowning dead, and the wails and shouts of people on the street echoed in my ears all the time.

"I forced myself to do other things, like grinding ink, writing, staring at the black lines and handwriting I had drawn, counting my breaths one, two, three, four...... And try to keep yourself smiling, and sure enough, your heart is calm. After the sixth year of junior high school, I often went to Lu Guogong's Mansion to play with a few children to help them forget those bad things, but in fact, it was also a good relaxation for me. ”

Feng Hanzhao sat quietly and listened, his face as calm as water. Zhen Zhen felt as if he was talking to himself as if no one was around.

She heard her own voice still saying, "A lot of people have experienced the explosion like you and have similar feelings to you, including me. Would you like to talk about how you feel? Zhen Zhen talked about himself for a long time, and waited until Feng Hanzhao was breathing smoothly and his face was calm before making a request to him, and his tone was still cautious, as if he was afraid of breaking the teacup in his hand.

"......" Feng Hanzhao still didn't speak, but his expression was obviously a little painful.

"I think you're sad right now, so don't hide them and try to get your thoughts out there. If you could let me share your grief with you, okay? ”

Feng Hanzhao hadn't met anyone he could talk to in a month.

The crown princess, his mother-in-law, came the most diligently, and every time she came to see him, she said in a hurry: "Things will pass, don't be sad." You are a piece of meat that fell from your mother's body, you are so sad, and your mother is also sad. You will still have children, won't the autumn geese be born soon? ”

The crown prince, his father, seemed to be able to make his son happy by the order to kill and decide, and he said: "You are the king of Qingjiang, and you are the one who will take on great responsibilities in the future, and you cannot give up your great future because of these small sorrows in front of you." How many good girls are waiting in line to enter our door! Why does a husband have no wife? ”

Han Chen was far away in Jeseong, and the two of them were still in a state of "discord" on the surface, so they could only write a secret letter to comfort him.

The elders speak much the same thing as their parents.

The others, either guards or subordinates, didn't know how to let go of their identities and talk to them.

It turns out that being alone is like that.

It's been a month, and finally a fourteen-year-old girl said, let me share your pain.

At this moment, Feng Hanzhao felt a wave of emotion in his heart, but when he really asked him to say it, he didn't know where to start. In the past month, my thoughts have been layered and entangled, and I have long become a mess, and I don't know where to begin.

Zhen Zhen waited for a while, and felt that Feng Hanzhao's gaze was no longer staring at the ground, but looking at himself, knowing that Feng Hanzhao's heart had been moved by his own words, and maybe she needed to push it gently: "Don't be embarrassed or have any taboos, the main purpose of my visit today is to hear from you." Don't shy away from talking about your feelings with others so that others have a chance to get to know you, help you, and care for you. Don't worry, I won't tell a third person every word you say today, including my father and mother and Haoxing. ”

"Whether I open or close my eyes, I will remember how they are lying on the ground lifelessly......" Feng Hanzhao finally opened his mouth, and as soon as he said a word, his face was wrinkled in pain, and he buried his face in his palm.

"If something happy happens to you, you'll be happy for a while. It's the same with unhappy things. Don't force yourself to forget about it. The pain of losing a loved one will definitely stay in our hearts for a long time, which is normal, and maybe we have to learn to continue living with the pain. Zhen Zhen said.

Feng Hanzhao calmed down, raised his head, and said, "In this courtyard, there used to be a lot of people's voices every day, but now it is quiet, they followed me out, but they never followed the poor back. I feel very empty to be here, but there is nowhere else to go, and there are so many things to do. ”

Finally waited for Feng Hanzhao to speak, Zhen Zhen was reluctant to interrupt him, just looked at him, and looked forward to him with his eyes to continue.

"But I don't think I can do anything well. During the few days I was looking for someone by the river, I begged God for my blessing every day, hoping for a miracle, but in the end I was disappointed. How could God be so to me! I am the king of Qingjiang, the grandson of the Son of Heaven, why don't even I have the ability to protect my family? Do you think I'm sorry for them? I'm not a competent husband! Nor a competent father! ”

Zhen Zhen didn't want him to reinforce his misconceptions in the following words, so he picked up the teacup in front of him and pushed it in his direction: "Take a sip of tea."

Feng Hanzhao has no regular diet these days, Zhen Zhen's reminder, he really felt thirsty, drank it in two sips, and poured himself another glass.

Zhen Zhen asked, "How are you feeling these days?"

Feng Hanzhao followed her train of thought very obediently: "Sad, very sad." I can't sleep, and even when I do, I always dream. ”

"Didn't you think about asking a doctor to prescribe some medicine for you?"

"The other day, I just didn't want to see people, I didn't want to do things, and I didn't feel like I needed to see a doctor. As soon as the doctor entered the door, I chased him away. The servant brought the medicine, and I threw it out. ”

"How's your appetite for dinner lately?" Zhen Zhen asked.

"I'm not in the mood, and I don't have the appetite to eat. It seems that there is nothing that can arouse my interest anymore. I'm always thinking about the Dragon Boat Festival. I think that if I chase after the Qingming Festival a little more, I should be able to clear Yuantai's power in Shangdu, and then the explosion will not happen. ”

"So you feel like it's your fault, you're angry with yourself. You yourself off and didn't want to speak. ”

Feng Hanzhao shook his head and expressed his disappointment in himself: "Pay off King Jiang!" You can't even do something as trivial as protecting your family. Let the enemy spread wild on your own turf, but you can't do anything about it! What kind of bullshit am I! ”

"Do you think you yourself really have what it takes to stop the enemy's sabotage? Do you know the deployment of the enemy? Do you know how long the enemy has been preparing for this explosion? Zhen Zhen asked rhetorically.

"You know!?" Feng Hanzhao was stunned.

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