28 Jokes about life and death at the birthday banquet Old antiques are good at talking about distant things
(Due to the excessive number of words in this chapter, it has been updated in three times, and the following is the second part of "28 Below".) )
The people of heaven turned their sorrow into joy: "Huh! I have nothing of value! There are many people who are Fan Weicheng, and their homes are villas, and my house is just a duplex two-story building! There are more than 8,000 people on crutches! Tianmin shook a gesture of eight in the air, and then pointed to the crutches next to Fan Weicheng's chair to signal everyone to look.
"Hey......" Fan Weicheng waved his hand, embarrassed to show everyone.
"As soon as I entered the door, I wanted to say a few words to Wei Cheng, but I couldn't talk! In the early years, we cooperated to sell vegetables, and I didn't treat you badly, right? ”
"Jianguo is a good man! Honest and generous, fair-minded, well-behaved, able to endure hardships! Character has nothing to say! Fan Weicheng nodded frequently at the old horse.
"Anyway, you have also cooperated, and in the future, you will kick your feet into the western sky, and leave me your 8,000 crutches! I need it the most! You say hello to your son, and I'll let my grandson pick it up at the address! Lao Ma teased Fan Weicheng.
"Go, go, go! If we want to go between the two of us, you will go first! I remember you were two years older than me! Fan Weicheng smiled and raised two fingers at the old horse.
"Who goes first and who goes last, has a fart to do with age? Who does Lord Yama ask to report and who will report, and people still count your age? I'll tell you the truth, I saw your crutch as soon as I walked in the door! No matter which of us dies first, it's decided today, the one who dies first will leave his crutches to another person, will it be successful? If I say that I am going to die first, I will leave you with my crutch, and the chin of the dragon's head will be knocked off by my grandson, which will not affect the use! I'm a good crutch too! It's durable! The old horse held his cane and showed off at the dinner table.
"Who cares about your! You're going to die first, and leave me that fan of yours - I think your fan is good! I'm going to die first, I'll give you my crutch! Okay, right? Fan Weicheng pointed to the old horse's fan and said.
"It's done, it's done! I will explain to my son-in-law later, and you will explain to your family when you go back today! We have to talk! There are witnesses! The old horse was happy, and it was interesting for everyone to look at it.
After some uproar, the dish was all over. Ma Junjie came over to pour wine for the old people, and toasted the uncles of the township party on behalf of his father. Everyone was drinking birthday wine and eating hometown food, so happy. During the meal, Shou Tao and Shou Mian came, and all the old men made Shou for Ma Tianmin together. After eating Shou Tao and Shou Noodles, the old people were already seven or eight points full.
Tianmin suddenly put down his chopsticks and said, "Oh, old village chief, let me tell you, my birthday this time has something to do with you!" ”
"Why?" The old horse was curious.
"Junjie has always wanted to do it, I didn't want to do it, sixty-five - the embarrassment of not being able to go up or down, I thought about waiting for me to live to seventy before I do it! But I keep talking about letting a few of us get together, your feet are not good, my stomach is not good, and the others are either in trouble at home or in poor health. It is not so easy for the elderly to meet each other than the young! Simply, it's better for me to celebrate my birthday, I'll invite the old village chief to come over, you can't help but give face! I've calculated, it's really inconvenient for you to let Junjie pick you up, and if you don't come again, it won't be done! Ma Tianmin said a word and took a breath, and the others opened their ears as he spoke.
"I'm mainly bad on my feet, and I'm slow to recover when I'm older! Otherwise, I would have organized a meeting earlier! "Old Ma Yan.
"I'm not done yet! Junjie...... As soon as he heard that I was going to invite my uncles, he went to book a hotel, and it turned out that others knew that his friends and customers, some of whom had already sent birthday gifts two days ago! My son pondered, you either don't invite you for your birthday, or you have to invite all of them, otherwise you will offend people, right? Okay, today is dedicated to drinking and chatting with our fellow villagers, and tomorrow we will set up a big table here - one hundred and ten people. You see, it's not because I'm trying to lure you in! I think you're here with all the talents, how lively it is to have you celebrate my birthday! Tianmin pointed to the old horse and smiled like a child.
"I just can't walk! When my feet are healed, a few old men will make a special trip to a table to eat and drink, and go to your house! The old horse answered.
"Wait until your feet are healed...... When your feet are healed, you won't know if I'm there! Hahaha......" Tianmin laughed at himself.
"Oops, oops......" everyone reassured.
"I tell you, Celestials, live well! You're blessed! How many people have I sent away in the village over the years! Many people live long lives when they are sick, and those who die suddenly are very healthy before their deaths! You can't imagine how this man died all of a sudden! It's impossible to say which day you will be born or which day you will die! You are not Lord Yama, don't say frustrating words, when my feet are well, I will organize our township party, and next year you will not ask me to hold a birthday banquet for you! "The old horse appeases the people.
"Oh, don't you dare! You are the leader! I'm a farmer! Who can be bigger than you in Majiatun! The people of heaven were happy to come from it, and a smile dispelled the gloom in their chests.
"This is not Majiatun, you see that even my grandson won't give me steps!" The old horse pointed to the ripples, and everyone laughed.
"Twenty years ago, Village Chief Ma's reputation was like thunder! Legend has it that you single-handedly negotiated with the people of the Provincial Water Conservancy Bureau, and finally rerouted the Huanggan Canal...... Is there such a thing? Wang Huacheng gave a thumbs up and asked the old horse with a smile.
"Yes!" Ma Xingxia put down the teacup and made a loud noise.
"Tell me about it! Hurriedly! Fan Weicheng said with a smile.
"Oops! How can it be so exaggerated! What's going on...... The Yellow Trunk Canal was just built back then, so it was not possible to divert water for irrigation! There is a bend in the southwest corner of Majiatun in the Huanggan Canal, where the water flow is slow, and the people of the Water Conservancy Bureau plan to divert water from there for irrigation in Majiatun, but they don't understand the topography of Majiatun......
When the past hit, the people of heaven became interested, and interjected tremblingly: "Our Majiatun is slightly higher in the northeast and lower in the southwest. The southwest is all sloping land, small plots of self-reserved land; The north and east are mostly good land, but very dry! Our village chief discussed with the villagers at that time, saying that it would be good to divert water from the northeast! But this kind of thing...... You can't decide even if you're a village chief—can you! ”
Lao Ma took over and said, "Yes, I had a big head at that time!" To divert water from the southwest, the production teams in the village have to build 20 kilometers of canals - this is a big project! The key was that at that time, it was an earthen canal - the kind of digging a pit in the ground, and the Yellow River water would inevitably be lost along the way, right? The southwest is still full of ravines, it is very inconvenient to water the ground and repair the ditch, no one grows wheat and rape there, at that time, the people in the village in the southwest have a variety of sweet potatoes, radishes, beans or something...... I think about it, the diversion of water in the southwest is harmless! ”
"Hmmm! So then you went to the provincial water conservancy bureau? Wang Huacheng asked.
"Oh, I'm not a horse-faced cow-face—how can I have that weight!" Lao Ma waved his hand, then pointed to the table and said, "I'll go to the town leaders first, and the town leaders said they don't care, they can't take care of it!" Then I went to the county to manage the water conservancy, and they said that the plan and route had been decided, and there was nothing they could do! At that time, I went to the fields and the canal every day to check - there was no work at all! Running around in the clouds, I finally realized that people had bought the pipe and couldn't return it, and I didn't want to toss and spend more money, so I couldn't help it when it was late! ”
"Well, at that time, the big pipe that diverted water - steel, half a meter in diameter and a few inches thick, was very expensive! Those people don't want to return, and they don't approve it because of the big expenses! Ma Xingxia added.
"That's right! But I was in a hurry! Running outside every day - thanks to the fact that it was just spring, the fields were not too busy, otherwise there would be no such thing! Later, I found out in Leijia Village, a few dozen miles west of the main canal, that their village also needed to divert water, but the engineering design had not yet reached them, and I saw that the terrain of Leijia Village was similar to that of Majiatun, so I went to the people of the county water conservancy bureau to discuss and suggested that those pipes should be put on Leijia Village. Those people didn't agree at first, but then I went to the town every day, the county, and the construction site, and I got acquainted with those people! In the third month, the talent in the county changed the plan and built a water diversion opening for Majiatun on the east side - everyone was happy. "The old man likes to talk about distant things, and the old horse remembers the glorious face of the past.
"People say you broke a motorcycle, is it true or false?" Wang Huacheng inquired curiously.
"It's true!" Ma Xingxia replied: "His big motorcycle suddenly stopped driving at that time, and it was changed to a bicycle!" People in the village see him riding a big beam bicycle into and out of the village every day! ”
"Hey! In fact, it's not a big deal, it's a little bit of gas on the road! Mainly as soon as I settle the score, good guys! Two dollars a day for diesel money! It was better to ride a bicycle, a round trip of 30 kilometers is not far, and I later rode a bicycle to the county every day to find the leader! I guess people changed their plans when they saw me pitiful and were annoyed by me! After speaking, the old horse smoked a hookah.
"It's obviously good to water from the east - the water is big, and it's fast! Saved money for the villagers! Brother Jianguo is really a character! Ma Xingxia nodded.
"He has done a lot for Majiatun! I can't count them! After decades in the village, ask relatives in other villages, which village chief does not scavenge for oil and water? Like Brother Jianguo of our Majiatun, this is the only one I've seen! That's why I said I must see you before I die! I won't close my eyes when I don't see you! Hahaha...... When I see you, I feel down-to-earth, just like seeing our village! Tianmin patted the old horse on the shoulder and joked.
"I'll tell you something, you're shocked!" Wang Huacheng looked at everyone.
"What's the matter?" The crowd asked.
"The old gentleman who saw a doctor in our village, Zhiwei, died two days ago!" Wang Huacheng blinked.
"Huh? Ah...... God......" The people were amazed.
"How did you get there?" The old horse asked.
"Old! I heard it was cancer. Hua Cheng replied.
"It's a pity, it's a pity...... Of the dozens of villages in our radius, which one hasn't been to him for medical treatment? "The people of heaven are sad.
"Yes, it's usually when you can't see it well in your own village that you go to him to take a look! The medical skills are not said! It's bigger than the doctors in a big hospital! Zhong Neng praised.
"In the past, Xingbang had a rash and was very stubborn, I specially looked for him, and he was in good spirits at that time! It's only been a few years? "The old horse is sentimental.
"Amazing! Zhiwei has saved many people, what tuberculosis, hepatitis B, rheumatism...... Many incurable diseases and big hospitals can't help him! Amazing, really amazing! Fan Weicheng admired, and everyone nodded.
"The key person Zhiwei is not greedy, and he still has a score in his heart! Guarding the old mother, I don't go anywhere, and the big hospitals in the county and city don't go to the people who invite them three times or five times! Many people have no money to see a doctor, he waved his hand and forgot - free of it! It's not uncommon for rich people to give gifts! Gee...... There is medical ethics! There are a few of them in our town! Xingxia added.
"How old the old man is! I don't know what he belongs to! Tianmin asked.
"Less than eighty, I guess!" Wang Huacheng replied.
"Zhiwei is ten years older than me, and he should be eighty this year!" The old horse added.
"The old man died a glorious death, unlike us old peasants, who died in vain! My brother-in-law has an old man in their village who died for seven or eight days before he was known - poor and not pitiful! Come on, come on, let's go for the old man Zhiwei! Drink! "Walker toasts.
After drinking, Fan Weicheng spoke: "Ma Jianguo, the village chief of Ma Jianguo, is also a cattle man in Fangyuan!" When people die, they don't look like ordinary people like us, and they are better than me! ”
"Yes, yes, yes! There's an amazing guy at the table, too! Tianmin gave a thumbs up to the old horse.
The old horse turned his face shyly, and then said in disappointment: "I'm going to die in the village, the scene is still a little more beautiful, maybe many friends and leaders can come over and send me a door!" I'm going to die here, what's the difference between me and you? Except for a few of you who are old and undead and thinking about me...... Who else could there be? ”
"Hey, yes, yes, dying in the city is not the same as dying in the countryside!" The people of heaven are sentimental.
After clinking glasses and drinking, the crowd fell silent again.