When I went for a check-up, my heart function dropped again, and I don't know when I fell asleep and never woke up again. So today I wrote a suicide note with a heavy heart, but unfortunately there is no will. Please forgive my son for making decisions this time and choosing to face death alone. This is because the cost of surgery may not be enough even if you sell the house, and even if it is successful, you don't know how long you will live. My son doesn't want to be in another world, and watch you live with huge debts. Please allow your son to be presumptuous. In fact, the son knows that if he tells you, you will do everything to save this useless son. I even went to sell blood, but I guess no one will accept it, because you are all old, and I don't think anyone will accept it. I smiled a little wryly, and I was still in the mood to joke at this time. I've asked a friend to find a buyer for the house

After paying off the loan, it is estimated that there will be some left, in case you two elders need it from time to time. I guess you'll "hate" me when you read this letter. My son doesn't care, even though my son is dead, he can still live in your heart, so that you are no longer lonely, and I am satisfied. The son has a small request, which can be regarded as a reluctant request. When Xiaoyun gets married, can I take out 10,001 yuan for my share? She is the woman her son cares about the most in this life, but fate does not seem to bless us, and she chooses to separate us in a decisive way. The son hopes that her future will be happy and happy, and there is no memory of the son. My son is a little tired, and his health has been getting worse day by day. That friend of mine is very reliable, you two can rest assured. By the way, there is also a request, after the son leaves, he wants to go home. Just sprinkle me in the Bohai Sea! Your son is with you wherever you go, so if you are doing well, your son will have no worries. The thing left behind is a diary, and a letter to her is in the diary, if she asks for it, you must not give it to her, you can look at it when you think of me.

insisted on reading the letter, and tears had already blurred my vision. When I saw the tears dripping on the paper, I knew it. The letter was like a fuse that ignited the fading thoughts, and from time to time there would be a sob. At this time, I really can't care so much, I just want to vent happily. I sat by the window and could feel many sympathetic eyes watching me. Seems to be asking me what's wrong. I gradually looked at the scenery of the flying shield outside the window, and felt a little bitter and remorseful in my heart. Maybe I should follow my mother's advice. Slowly thinking of him, what kind of person is he, worthy of his mother for more than 20 years and still unforgettable? If the relationship is so deep, why break up? It's really a little confusing, and the adult world seems to be full of confusion. I was about to spread my wings and soar, and I seemed to have a heavy heart, and I couldn't let go of it in my heart. After calming down, I picked up the second letter again and saw what was inside. I saw that the envelope was written "Xiao Yingqi". Some wonder who this person is? It seems that there is no such surname among the hundred family names. Some are eager to open the envelope, as cautiously as if they were opening treasures. The letter reads as follows:

Xiaoyun, Xiaoyun wants to shout this name a few more times, but I know that life does not give me much time. The world seems to be at a loss every day, because the boring life does not know when it will end. And I seized every minute and every second, hoping to draw a happy end to my life. It's ridiculous to think about myself, I was one of them once, and now I don't have time to splurge it. I am a little timid in the face of death, because I don't know where I will go after death, but there must be death in life, this is the law of nature, and no one can escape it. I am a cowardly person, and if I hadn't let your displeasure turn for the better, I wouldn't have chilled your heart. Now I don't have a chance to apologize to you, I wonder if you will accept this belated apology?

You may not see this letter, but I believe that with your stubborn personality, you will want to get it. After I left, the only thing I couldn't let go of my parents and you. I am worried that the two of them will be too sad and have no one to take care of them when they are old. I'm worried that because you think that I will have an impact on your future marriage, you have been in bed for more than a year or longer, and I have been chatting with you for 1 year. It's a chat, but it's just talking to yourself. The doctor said that talking to you regularly would help you wake up, and that there was only so much that could be done. To make up for my mistakes, I just don't want to be in debt, so you don't need to be too grateful. I really regret being so good to you before, and I'm afraid that if you can't find Ruyi, you should blame me again. In fact, I know that you are a hard-mouthed and soft-hearted girl, so I hope you can find your own happiness.

That way, I can feel at ease in another place, and I will be happy for you. Although there may be some jealousy in your heart, having someone by your side can prevent you from being hurt in any way. I'm stupid, but luck seems to be good. I'll pass on the rest of my luck to you and help you find someone you can rely on. You are insecure, probably due to what you experienced as a child! I feel a little funny, and sometimes I don't know why, but I actually say something unreliable. Your eyes can help me see the rest of the beautiful sunlight and so on. So please don't shed tears, and besides, your tears will always tear my heart apart, so I beg you not to disturb my peace in another place. And you've had surgery yourself, and if you do any damage to your eyes for me, you really can't afford to pay this debt. Well, that's all there is to it! I want to say a lot, but I don't know where to start when I put it on paper. And now I feel that my body can't stand it when I'm a little tired, and I don't know how long I can last, I hope that God will sense my prayer and let me live until the month before you wake up. Because I want to go without worry, it has nothing to do with you.

After reading the letter, I guessed that Xiaoying might be her mother's screen name, and selfishness was written between the lines, but it was not difficult to find that this was another kind of selflessness that was deeper and did not want to be reciprocated. I can find out, let alone my mother. When I read the letter, I felt like I was next to this uncle, feeling his powerlessness, reluctance, and inability to let go. He is such a stupid man, why didn't his mother forgive him for his mistakes in the first place? He put the letter away listlessly, and his mind was still immersed in his letter. The mood was also depressed, and the sun outside the car was dazzling, but it did not alleviate the haze in my heart at all. After a while, I put the letter in my notebook and put it away, and my eyes looked straight into the distance, at a loss. Consciousness seems to be in the midst of being and not being all the time. After a long time, I gradually recovered, and my curiosity about him became strong again, and I thought that I would read the diary in detail when I had time.

Maybe it will help me later in life. When the sunset was slanting westward, I arrived at the station, and when I walked out of the train station, there was a kind of confusion unconsciously, maybe the first time I took the train, the first time I traveled far away, I felt a little panic and uneasiness! Thanks to the hearty and simple character of Dalian people, I feel a little comforted. A dark-skinned man in his 40s with a Dalian "oyster" accent told me how to get to school. A warm current flows through my heart. At this moment, I saw a man with gray hair, a wrinkled face, and a washed-off dress, staggering towards me. I couldn't help but look at the old woman with some doubts in my heart. She walked for a while, tired and sweaty, and looked at me kindly, as if she had something to say. I walked briskly over to her. "I am short of 30 yuan for the car home, and the money was taken out on the way, can the young man help me"? She said breathlessly. Seeing it, my heart was sour, maybe because of my grandmother, I took out a 50 yuan from my trouser pocket and said slowly to my grandmother: "Give you 20 yuan more, it's good to buy some water on the road when the weather is so hot." She said with a grateful expression: "Thank you, it's rare to find a young man like you." Watching the old grandmother walk away slowly with the money, I felt a sense of satisfaction and wealth that I had never felt before.

After more than 1 hour of tossing, I finally came to the real Caiyuan University. The entire university is located almost the size of two football fields, and most of it is covered in greenery. I dragged my heavy luggage slowly towards the teaching building, and the damp breeze blew, and the fatigue on the road was slightly relieved. A rush of footsteps came out from behind him, and because the Yongdao Gorge was narrow, he was knocked and almost fell on the lawn next to him. A burst of anger welled up in his heart, and just as he was about to burst into a foul mouth, a girl with a ponytail was gone. It's like a pile of eggs waiting for a day to beg for free, and I just said no. "Let me run into you again"! I thought indignantly. As the notice says, I arrived at the multipurpose classroom on the third floor. Seeing the long pair inside, seeing that there were basically one big and one small standing side by side in front of them, and some even 3 people standing side by side, I shook my head helplessly.

I should call my mother, I picked up my phone and dialed my mother's number, and the call was answered in seconds. "Have you arrived at school and have you had lunch"? A benevolent business passed into the eardrums. I forced a smile and said, "Mom after eating, don't worry, I've arrived at school and I'm queuing up to report." "You bad boy, why are you calling your mother now," her mother said in disgust. I smiled and said, "At that time, I hadn't found the destination yet, so I was afraid that my mother would worry." Mom joked: "If you don't learn well from your father, you will speak good." I smiled playfully and suddenly remembered my dad and asked, "Where's Dad?" Mom was stunned for a moment and said, "Your father hasn't gotten off work yet, ask him what he's doing, and someone so big won't lose it." I smiled awkwardly and thought about it, and hung up the phone after a few more homely conversations. I regretted it a little when I hung up, and I haven't asked some questions about reading the letter! It's stupid, and then I think it's not too late to ask when I have time.

Thinking about such a long queue in front of me, I don't know when it will be my turn, and I feel a little depressed. Standing in front of me was a tall, fashionably headed boy who looked polite and trendy. On the other hand, it was as if he didn't know where he came from. As he was staring, he suddenly turned his head, and we looked at each other. I smiled a little awkwardly. He said very generously: "You help me look at the location, I went downstairs to buy a bottle of water, and finally asked me if I wanted" As if we were friends who hadn't seen each other for a long time, I also had an inexplicable sense of intimacy. "Okay, you can go, you don't have to bring it to me." I said. "Really exquisite," he said, and went downstairs. At this point, my eyes were drawn to a figure. Is it her? At this time, I didn't know who I was waiting for, and I didn't know who I was waiting for, with an anxious expression. I pretended to be concerned and asked, "Did you just run so fast that you dropped something?" "What does it have to do with you". She replied unhappily. I was stunned and didn't know what to do. She seemed to realize that her tone was a little unkind just now, and smiled embarrassedly and said, "I was hit by a wooden stake just now, and I was not in a good mood." My face turned dark, and I said, "It's obvious that I'm running too fast, why do I blame others, I haven't settled accounts with you yet!" As soon as he heard this, his face was clear and angry: "Ao, it turns out that the piece of wood is you, I wonder why the wood suddenly moves by itself!" obviously felt a breath in his chest, and said with a sneer: "Yes, it's possible to go out without eyes when you're so old"? "Who do you say is blind"? She clearly didn't control the volume well. Almost everyone in the room is looking this way.

"You said it yourself, I didn't say it." I said with some pleasure. She was already angry at this point. The boy came up to me at some point. Puzzled, he asked, "What's the matter, Tiezi." I told him something brief. He smiled indifferently and said: "It's just for this, it's not worth it, it will affect your image more." Thinking about it, I didn't speak later, and the girl looked at me with a little indignation. It's like saying, "If you say it again, I'll beat you up." I felt funny in my heart. I thought to myself: "Good men don't fight women". Try to turn your head in other directions. He patted me on the shoulder and said with a smile, "What do you think, I don't know what your name is." I turned my head and said, "My name is Liu Tianyun, what are you studying?"