On Friday night, there was a bang, and the bookshelf fell down!

It turned out that Xuecheng ran to his sister's house to look around, and caught a glimpse of a book with a nice cover and wanted to take it down, but he was not tall enough, so he stretched out his hand on the top of his feet and unintentionally pulled down the entire bookshelf. A bookshelf with worn edges and sawdust was framed on his head, and dozens of books fell to the ground with a clatter.

Grandpa Zhong can wash dishes in the kitchen, and Dad Zhongli listens to the sound and looks for him angrily. As soon as he saw this scene, he didn't say anything, stretched out his hand and beat his son vigorously, scolding while beating: "Is your homework done?" What are you flipping through my sister's things! Looking for death, isn't it? I'll tell you to flip! Tell you to turn it over again! ”

Xuecheng put his hands on the shoulder of the table with a bookshelf, and only one head stretched out, and was slapped by his father, pulled his hair, and choked his neck...... A few minutes passed, Dad stopped, Xuecheng's head was slapped to the left side and couldn't turn for a long time, he was stuck, shrugged his shoulders sideways, and didn't move at all.

The father and son froze for two minutes, and the child's grandfather ran up the old stairs.

"What are you doing beating the baby again? Iniquity! Evil one! Zhong Neng went into the house and ran around his son to his grandson, gently removed the shelf on Xuecheng's body, and then hugged Xuecheng's head in his arms and wept - crying silently.

"Find the fault in one go! Why is he doing his homework here if he doesn't do his homework? Zhong Li's anger did not subside.

"He's still a doll! You can't hit Wow! What should I do if something goes wrong? Zhong Neng wiped away tears.

Zhong Li couldn't listen anymore and turned away silently.

"I hit the night before, I hit last night, and I hit again tonight...... ......"Zhong Neng hugged his grandson and cried at the same time, and Xuecheng in his arms did not shed tears, panted or moved, like a stupid cow.

The eight-year-old looked up at the window, his left eye widened, and his right eye was beaten to the point that he couldn't open it and blinked frequently. His body was thin and frighteningly quiet, and there was no sadness on his face, like an ignorant messenger or an amnesiac child, as if he was not the one who had just been beaten.

After crying, Zhong Neng rubbed Xuecheng's face, stroked the child's hair and clothes, checked the head and neck, and saw that it was red one after another, and he was relieved to see that the child was nothing unusual. He pulled Xuecheng to sit on Meimei's narrow bed, and then wiped his tears while sorting out the books on the floor.

Thinking of what Zhong Li did recently, the old man couldn't help but complain: "This bookshelf has been around for more than ten years, even if it doesn't move, it's about to break, is it about to beat a child for a broken shelf?" The baby scolded twice, dropped something and yelled twice, and the baby was beaten eight or nine times in the past ten years! Is this the person who becomes a dad? Bastard ......"

Zhong Neng squatted on the ground, facing the door, and muttered for a long time, for Zhong Li. If you don't listen, it's enough, and when you hear it, it's worrying. It turned out that he had almost beaten his son recently, and he had beaten him so often, but he always couldn't remember that he had beaten him. Why? Zhong Li sat on the sofa and asked himself in horror: Why did he beat his son and still think that he was good to his son? Why didn't he remember beating him for days?

Na Xuecheng went to the kitchen to turn on the fire and didn't know what to do, and forgot to turn off the fire when he was done, and the fire burned for about ten minutes, and the lid on the fire was deformed-that time it was very heavy, in order to teach him a lesson, only to remember hitting his head, face, and buttocks. He was very thirsty when he came back from school yesterday, there was no cold water to drink at home, and he was slow to cool the boiling water boiled by his grandfather, so he put a glass jar of hot water in the refrigerator, and after a while, he heard a click - this time he remembered that he only slapped him a few times. Some time ago, he accidentally tripped over the trash can, and the cigarette butts, wine bottles, and leftovers in the trash can were all over the ground - I vaguely remember kicking him several times without holding back. During the summer vacation, he played with his sister's computer and made the computer a blue screen, and that time he hit him really hard, punching his back, fanning his head, and kicking his ass......

Zhong Li wiped his tears and lit a cigarette.

As a father, doesn't he love children? Every time he beat his son, he felt guilty, and when he finished fighting, he always comforted and appeased and taught on the side of his studies, and I don't know what year it started, this procedure was saved. The son, like a mouse, was terrified of his father. The child's extreme fear of him pierced him like the tip of a knife. He did not dare to come near him, for when he approached him, his eyes were as wary as a dog facing a great enemy; He didn't dare to touch him, because when he stretched out his hand, he thought that his father was going to hit him, so he couldn't help but shiver and hide; He didn't dare to talk to him or joke with him, because his son looked at him and listened to his jokes as if he were deaf and dumb...... Xuecheng is always a distance of one or two meters from himself, and he always stares at himself silently with those eyes.

Chung Li wiped the tears from his right eye with his thumb, and then shook the cigarette ash into the trash can. He bit his lip and crusaded himself in his heart. When I finished comforting my son every time, I touched his soft hand and stroked his eyebrows, face, nose, and lips again and again...... He was so much like himself, like he was a little scared.

He loved him.

He couldn't control himself.

He's a bad father.

Over the years, apart from scolding him, he has hardly said anything good about his son; Except for beating him, he barely touched his son's hair. What's wrong with you? Looking back and calculating carefully, the water spilled on the bed - hit, the clothes fell out of the window - hit, broke the suitcase - hit, watched TV endlessly - hit, urinated the bed once during the summer vacation - he hit the ...... without saying a word

At the end of last semester, he bought him a McDonald's breakfast and spent a lot of money, but as soon as he left the store and dropped the food on Lin, Zhong Li couldn't help but stretch out his hand and slapped him four times, and only after the beating did he realize what he had done. He comforted his son guiltily and reminded Xuecheng to hurry up and leave not to let the people around him see the joke, but who knew that Xuecheng was stunned and motionless, motionless. He dragged Xuecheng under the tree on the side of the road, and he still didn't move. Zhong Rina was terrified. At that moment, he wanted to run out into the street and be hit by a car - he really thought about it at that time, and had that impulse.

The deepest memory is that once the father and son were on the same sofa, Zhong Li stretched out his hand to catch mosquitoes in the air, and reflexively covered his head, flashed away, and stared back at him from a distance of one meter.

He loved him. However, he couldn't control himself.

What kind of son does he want? Obedient, sensible, mature, intelligent, and excellent...... Maybe there is no eight-year-old child in this world who can satisfy him. From time to time, he glimpsed at home with a sad and melancholy look in his eyes, and that look frightened Zhongli into self-doubt. He didn't know what was wrong with him.

Every time he gets sick, he is the most anxious in the family; The son was wounded outside, and he was the most excited; Xuecheng was wronged at school, and he was the most angry...... He thought he was treating him well, but the biggest danger to the child was his biological father.

His anger turned him into a demon, and he hated himself. Zhong Li really hopes that every time he beats the child, someone will beat him; He wished that whenever he was angry, someone would stand in the middle and pull the child away.

He's a demon, and he's afraid. Zhong Li has checked his son's body dozens of times, wanting to see if he has injured his son, but fortunately it is only red! Rejoice in just redness or blue! He tried it dozens of times on himself with the same force - slaps, legs, slaps on the head - it turned out to be really painful!

It really hurts! Why didn't the son dodge, and why didn't he cry when he didn't get a ship?

Zhong Li wiped away his tears, at this moment he really wanted to fan himself hard - fan until he died.

Why does he never hit Meimei? Why? Zhong Li was confused. Every time he slapped his son, it was his fault that caused losses, created chaos, and brought danger. So, is the broken money, the order of his heart, and the peace of the family more important than his own son? Why does he subconsciously think that his daughter Xuemei is above all else? The objects in the house, the order he built, and his own safety are far less important than one ten-thousandth of Xuemei's.

What Zhong Li fears is that it is very difficult for people to change their subconscious. And what does his subconscious know about his son? He loved his daughter more than his son, and he admitted, it was true. But the status he placed in his son's deep heart, and the love he gave to his son, made him terrified. He's so like him, he's so clingy to him, he's so weak...... Like a timid cat, he curled up beside him, enduring his father's moodiness, brutality and coldness.

He Zhiyuan went to work early on Saturday morning, and it had been three hours since Lao Ma got up, and there was no movement at home. There was a knock on the door, the play was played, and no one got up at half past nine, so the old horse had to get dressed and go out to buy breakfast. After bringing back the bag at ten o'clock, Gui Ying lay on the sofa and swiped her mobile phone on all directions, and the boy was still sleeping in the house with a pillow.

"Is this called living?" The old horse muttered that he would put breakfast away, and no one would call him, and he would eat it first. Yangyang smelled the smell and came over, so hungry that the baby didn't wash his hands, grabbed a bun and stuffed it straight into his mouth. It was almost twelve o'clock, it was time to cook, Gui Ying was lying on his bed holding his mobile phone and still didn't move, and the old horse urged twice before coming out slowly.

When she arrived at the living room, the sofa plopped down and lay down to hold her mobile phone, seeing the old man staring at her with anger in her eyes, Gui Ying did not forget to say to the old man: "I only ate breakfast at ten o'clock, what are you anxious about lunch?" ”

"And what time is your lunch?" The old horse frowned and asked.

"Lunch must be eaten until noon! It's noon! You've got to figure out the timing! Isn't it past two o'clock when you have lunch in the village? What's the hurry! ”

"Lazy! One! The old horse grinned, and was so angry that he frowned, and didn't want to have anything to do with her, so he got up and went to the balcony rocking chair to sit down.

"How lazy am I! Didn't I go to work this week? Who did the housework that the family had saved up for the past two weeks? I need a motivation to start! Don't you smoke before you go to work in the fields? Gui Ying muttered back.

At 11 o'clock at noon, in the bustling supermarket, Bao Xiaotang was purchasing - two catties of yellow beef, two catties of pork belly, two catties of frozen shrimp, as well as potatoes, celery, cabbage, fungus, vermicelli, soy products...... She picked up the ingredients that could be put in them, bought two large bags, and went straight to her sister's house out of the mall.

After Xiaotang gave her sister an umbrella that day, the two chatted energetically on the road and were reluctant to separate, and Xiaotang immediately decided to sleep with her sister at night. The next morning, Hyosung went out to work at six o'clock, and after getting up halfway, Xiaotang went to the refrigerator to find food. When I opened the door, I was shocked - the fresh-keeping cabinet above the refrigerator was empty, the refrigerator in the middle was empty, and the freezer below was also empty! The two sisters have been together in Shenzhen for more than ten years, and the first time they saw their sister's refrigerator empty, there was no electricity, Xiaotang was so stunned that she couldn't recognize her sister at that moment.

Bao Xiaoxing was originally born in poverty, and she is the eldest sister at home, and she made a fortune by frugality. Xiaotang can't remember the last time she went out to eat with her sister, no matter how tired she is over the years, Xiaoxing rarely goes out to eat, and now there are not even eggs, tea, or bread buns in the refrigerator, but you can imagine how hurried her life is now. Knowing that she only had two half-and-a half of a week on Saturdays and weekends to rest, Xiaotang bought these things and went to her sister's house to replenish the refrigerator.

When she arrived in Fuchun District, her sister had not yet returned, Xiaotang took out the house key from under the shoe cabinet outside the door, and after some cleaning, she began to mix noodles, chop meat, and cut rafters - ready to make dumplings. At about two o'clock, when Hyosung was returning home with Xuecheng, he pushed the door and smelled the smell of green onions, and Xiaotang was rolling dumpling wrappers in the living room. Hyosung was so happy that he didn't take a break to wash his hands and sit face to face with his sister, rolling out a bag one by one. After a while, the three of them each came out with a bowl of soup dumplings.

Zhong Xuecheng has been playing with toys alone since he got home, called his aunt and played with toys alone, his mother and aunt laughed when he was eating, he saw them laugh and he also smiled, after eating, his mother and aunt took a lunch break in the room, chatted, he was alone in the living room to do homework, watch cartoons, and be in a daze...... The place where he was beaten by Dad last night was only red, and Mom must not have noticed it, because he looked like Dad and Grandpa - all with brown skin and dark hair.

He didn't say a word about all the anomalies in him. What a strange child! He won't complain to his mother. Maybe Xuecheng is the most sober, he can't hide from his father, he doesn't dare to ship, he forgets to cry.

Grandpa is always joyful and humorous, Mom is always gentle and calm, his sister's maturity and sensibility make him envious and admired, and Dad is fearful and impermanent. They were all people whom he loved, and he loved everyone who called him with a pure heart. He's building his world in his own way.

Mom's love is as soft as a cloud and as tolerant as the sea, is he like the question that every child is asked - love mom a little more, or love dad a little more. Friends are told that the answer is just as much, and in fact there are few children who love as much. Every child has a preference in their heart, but they just don't dare, can't, or don't understand.

Does he love his dad and mom as much? Maybe it is, maybe it isn't.

If not, he must love his mother more, maybe yes, maybe not.

Xuecheng didn't dare to answer, and he didn't even dare to make clear the self-questions and self-answers that the gods and ghosts in his heart couldn't hear. He was afraid that his answer would be seen head-on by himself. It was a question that he had answered incorrectly—he knew it. Eight-year-old Zhong Xuecheng is very clear about the so-called "right answer". He was ashamed of his apparently wrong answer.

That's right, he loves his dad more.

Mother is the sea, always undisturbed, and her serenity and silence often make him forget her; Dad is a storm at sea, and he can only get a glimmer of peace or reduce damage by obeying him and subservient to him.

Zhong Xuecheng has his own perception that ignoring his mother, rebelling against his mother, and not being good with his mother will not reduce his mother's love for him. In this "contest" between mother and son, he seems to be the one who holds the initiative. And what about between their father and son? Contrary. His father's love for him was strange and terrifying, sometimes like a black cloud pressing down on the city, sometimes like a breeze, sometimes like a hail soldier, sometimes like a wild flower waiting to be released. He couldn't figure it out, so he became a constant in the relationship.

The wounds that people suffer in deep love are all deformed. Man is bound by the distorted love of his loved ones, and there is little reason.

Horror and love, he gave priority to horror, like an animal instinct. He couldn't control his heart.

Can Zhong Xuecheng choose? He couldn't choose. Whoever is in the same situation will only make the same choice. Lifting fear always takes precedence over loving or being loved, it is an animal instinct, not a human instinct. So he doesn't talk, he doesn't complain to his mother or grandfather, he doesn't talk to his sister's heartache, he doesn't tell anyone how his father beat him, how often he beats him, why he beats him......

Xuecheng understands better than the gods the absolute power and ultimate authority of the father over his world as a child.

He doesn't understand that it's power, not love. Therefore, no matter how much his father beats him and how painful it is, he will only rely on him more and be more willing to please him. There is no hatred under totalitarianism, because he is too frightened to hate or fear. He probably only hated his father's position of power.

Love inflates people and ego, and fear makes people abnormal and rebellious

The child loves his father deeply because of power. Imagine what he would do if he grew up completely, got married, and separated his father. Will Zhong Xuecheng become the second Zhong Li after the release of sex? Could he treat his dad the way he did his grandfather?

Perhaps, in the future, he will have the position that his father now has, and unconsciously he will treat his father with his father's attitude towards his grandfather or his father's way of treating him. Perhaps, when he grows up, Zhong Xuecheng will run away from home, or flee far away from home like his sister - the farther the better. The environment is as important but invisible as light is to plants.

He is only eight years old now, and there is already an indissoluble coldness in his eyes.

Pray! Pray that endless love will dissolve this frozen child.

There is no more painful wound in the world than worship shattering into trampling, and deep love turning into insult.

When Zhong Xuecheng re-examines the relationship between him and his mother when he grows up, will he feel guilty? Will the ignorance and indifference of the past turn into deep guilt after maturity, and that guilt will become a sharp sword aimed at oneself in turn?

Eight-year-old Zhong Xuecheng, how should he grow up?

"It's so simple that you can't make noodles and oily noodles? I have to spend money to order food, how can I eat the greasy rice I ordered? A half-star minced meat cost thirty dollars! Originally, two adults and two dolls could solve the dinner for more than a dozen yuan, but you had to spend more than 100! I'm still bored! Are you too rich to be too rich......" At seven o'clock in the evening, Lao Ma was holding a boxed lunch, feeling sorry for the money.

Gui Ying, who was busy, just sat down to eat, and was complained about like this, the fire started in her heart, she slapped the table and shouted: "Last week, I made the oily noodles seriously, you were unpalatable, and at noon I kindly made three dishes of vegetables, and you didn't give a good face!" Now that I'm ordering, you're too expensive and complaining endlessly! I am this craft, not as good as my mother and not as good as my mother-in-law (grandma, called mother-in-law in Shaanxi dialect), how do you eat! ”

"Can't you think about using snacks? Rural women can cook, you can't? ”

"Rural women can do it, you can't! Why don't you think about it to do it! Obviously, Zhiyuan is the best arrangement at home, you have to squeeze him out, and now he is holding me again! Am I not tired when I go to work for a dozen or so? Don't spend time on a bunch of chores on the weekend? Originally, the family was fine, but since you came, it was a problem! ”

Seeing that the two of them were really angry, Tsai quickly interjected and disconnected: "I think it's delicious!" Yangyang and I have starved to death, can you stop arguing! Noisy last night, noisy this morning, noisy again when I was doing my homework there in the afternoon! Recently, the two of you have been arguing and arguing - don't you reflect on it? ”

When the two of them heard that the child's words were true, they both swallowed their anger.

"I'll rest for a while, you guys eat first!" Gui Ying pretended to be calm, put down her chopsticks and went back to her room.

Lying on the bed, my heart was uneasy, my body was rising and falling violently, and tears welled up in a few seconds. Changing the bottled water, cleaning the water cup, replenishing toilet paper, cleaning the house once and mopping it twice, washing four buckets of clothes in a row in the washing machine, disposing of the mattress that Yangyang urinated on Thursday, and thoroughly cleaning the house of Tsai Tsai and the old man...... started working at 12 o'clock in the morning, and until almost 4 o'clock in the afternoon, Gui Ying put all aspects of the house in order, and took advantage of Yangyang's lunch break to get up and hurry up to accompany her to do her homework. At half past six in the evening, she really didn't have the strength to cook, so she ordered takeout.

The northern masters are really a master, they can't see a little bit of work in their eyes, Gui Ying really envies the old people in other people's families, and does everything possible to help their children. is still a southern man, meticulous and diligent, Gui Ying wiped her tears and thought about Zhiyuan, looking forward to the arrival of the Mid-Autumn Festival all the time, so as to send away this great god at home.

After dinner, Lao Ma stayed at home and thought he was an eyesore, so he took the initiative to take Yangyang shopping. Always put on beautiful clothes, take their own things, and go to the nearby park hand in hand.

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